While I’m sure there are people with severe handicaps that are driving their pickiness of eating. There are a lot of people that choose not to eat normally and their parents play into that, “oh it’s too difficult to deal with…” All three of my children went through phases of not wanting to eat anything but certain specific foods…because they were comfort foods for them. I also have friends that are parents and their children are normal children and are extremely picky, and the parents just choose not to fight that battle. Sure that’s your choice as a parent, but you also risk raising a highly disfunctional adult that can’t find anything to eat on a restaurant menu…not for dietary reasons, but because they haven’t been prepared their children to be adults.
ARFID affects adults, too. And you don’t have to be autistic to be diagnosed with ARFID. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that anyone who will only eat chicken strips satisfies the diagnostic criteria for ARFID. So these people have an eating disorder, one as potentially serious as anorexia, because that’s what ARFID is - it’s anorexia minus the body image obsessions.
And yes, it’s better for them to get help with that, 100% in agreement there. I don’t even satisfy the criteria for a full-fledged eating disorder, but I still sought out help for compulsive eating and I think that was a good thing.
As a friend or loved one, it’s really not my business what someone else prefers to eat - I’m not embarrassed by someone eating chicken strips in my presence. But for their own sake, yes, I think it’s worth seeking help.
Gotcha
I totally meant adult men who are not diagnosed on the spectrum.
Thanks for being open to learning!
I’m not sympathetic to your lack of empathy towards those who are different.
Which different people? Those with mental disabilities that can’t control their emotional reactions, or those that have been raised by lazy parents that find it too hard to raise well rounded functioning adults?
You don’t need to be “severely disabled” to have legitimate neurological food issues. My son is considered high-functioning and attends standard classes (with an IEP in place) but still has some rigid dietary guardrails. It’s a common issue all along the autism spectrum which is, as the name suggests, a spectrum from ‘lots of obvious problems’ to ‘you might not notice they’re neurodivergent’
Not everyone that is a picky eater is on the spectrum. I would hazard to guess that it’s not even most.
No one suggested otherwise. But there seems to be a lot you don’t know about it if you’re suggesting that you need to be severely disabled to have neurological food disorders so maybe you’d be better off learning about it than suggesting that the three kids you raised gave you more insight into food issues than everyone else,
I think that’s true.
I’m only speaking from the perspective of being tired of hearing, “He’ll eat when he’s hungry enough,” because he actually would rather starve.
And my kid’s not even the worst of it. There are kids with feeding tubes living off Ensure, kids with significantly stunted development, really sad stuff. Stuff I’m trying to avoid. But the harder you push as a parent, the worse it gets, so I’m just trying not to give him any more food issues than he already has.
I had this dream as a parent of giving him a variety of fresh and healthy foods, because my own childhood was a free for all combined with massive instability and I learned to regulate my emotions with junk food - not desirable! I wanted something different for him. But this situation definitely challenges my limits as a parent. It does for my husband as well. We are looking to the experts now. If it were simply a matter of parenting technique, I would be all in to try anything. It seems like every day I’m trying something new (in general) to see if it helps. I’m not resistant to changing my ways, if it helps.
And I think that’s what Omar is trying to differentiate as well. But what I’m learning is that ARFID is not just a spectrum issue. A person may have no other signs or symptoms, just as a bulimic may not. I was totally clueless about that.
I will be much more sympathetic in future.
According to the Washington Post about 30% of adult Americans are considered picky eaters (nothing green on my plate, etc.) And about 2.2% of adult Americans are on the spectrum. And 6.3% of adults classify as ARFID. While I am sensitive to people with mental disorders, this thread is about picky eaters, of which the vast majority based upon the numbers are not on the spectrum.
Technically, this thread is about people SO picky that they’ll only eat a single food and go hungry or let it negatively impact their social lives rather than adjust. Which is a lot deeper than “I’m a picky eater”.
As noted in my edited post, only about 6.3% of adults classify as ARFID. Still a whole lot of people that just choose to be picky.
'tis mental illness, methinks. Especially if the observed addition of food coloring changes it such that she will eat it, now that it’s no longer white.
I think with a lot of picky eaters, it’s about control, not actual eating. What they eat is an aspect of their life they can control, so they do. They must feel like they have little control otherwise, so food is the place they can exert some influence over their lives.
Guess chicken fingers are really just that amazing! I should get some.
Spice Weasel, I do sympathize with you and the challenges you are facing with your child. I would consider your situation unique and not in the same realm that I dealt with or my friends in regard to their children, or many other parents, that are much more common sort of picky eaters.
That makes sense (in some instances). While we can select specific illnesses and say “But only 4.55% of people…” I think that, if you’re willing to sabotage romantic relationships, embarrass your spouse, not eat out with friends, walk for miles to get different food, etc then there is probably often something deeper going on than “I really like chicken tendies”. What that something is likely varies significantly from person to person but I wouldn’t assume it’s just “picky eater”.
Thanks.
In general, I agree with you that most parents need to set limits with most kids around mealtimes.
That’s another thing. For example, I will eat the chicken, enjoy it, even, no drowning in béarnaise sauce required. But to eat the same thing at every meal? I would go nuts, and/or lose a lot of weight. So in that situation I suspect there is more going on than merely really liking chicken breast. (Is it always chicken? Will any of those guys try guineafowl?)