# Is It Alright For Teens or Grown Children and Parents To Share A Bed **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 4, 2011, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-alright-for-teens-or-grown-children-and-parents-to-share-a-bed/584272 "2011-06-04T01:34:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2011, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-alright-for-teens-or-grown-children-and-parents-to-share-a-bed/584272/21 "2011-06-04T15:16:48Z")
Not weird. I’ll be sharing a bed with my teenage daughter this Summer while on holiday. It would be a bit weird to have it as a permanent arrangement, though. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2011, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-alright-for-teens-or-grown-children-and-parents-to-share-a-bed/584272/22 "2011-06-04T17:19:15Z")
If someone expressed this concern, it is basically just admitting that person goes around thinking about incest a lot and jumping to wild conclusions inappropriately. That should be the shameful thing and not the other way around. My mind doesn’t turn into a XXX video every time I hear that two or more people have shared a bed even if they aren’t related and are of compatible sexes. Getting laid can be difficult even under the best of conditions. If all it took was two people to be in the general vicinity of a bed to touch off a firestorm of passion, I would get a job at the local mattress store. Do some people really go around thinking about incest so much that their mind to automatically conjures up taboo and felonious imagery at the slightest suggestions? ---
**Author:** ![chizzuk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@chizzuk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chizzuk)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2011, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-alright-for-teens-or-grown-children-and-parents-to-share-a-bed/584272/23 "2011-06-04T18:39:59Z")
My brother and I are 21 and 23 and still go on vacations with our parents where we all have one hotel room to save money. In those cases, parents and kids of the same sex each share a bed so that my brother and I don’t have to; we did when we were much younger but once I got old enough to be uncomfortable with it (age 9-10) it was stopped and was never an option again. I’ve shared a bed with my mom in hotels but the idea of sharing a bed with my dad squicks me out and we’ve never done it. I don’t think it’s ever even been suggested. And we’d never set things up so my mom and my brother had to share a bed, either. This is just one of those things that differs between families and in my family we don’t do it. Obviously when it’s a trip with both parents and just one of us kids in a room my parents share a bed and then I get one to myself. ---
**Author:** ![Sparky\_the\_Wonder\_Spirit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Sparky\_the\_Wonder\_Spirit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparky_the_Wonder_Spirit)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2011, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-alright-for-teens-or-grown-children-and-parents-to-share-a-bed/584272/24 "2011-06-04T18:55:10Z")
Personally, I would have been uncomfortable sharing with a parent when I was a teen, but I don’t think there’s anything objectively wrong with it. When we went on vacation, it was usually my dad, my sister, and me. So the siblings did the bed-sharing when it was necessary. ---
**Author:** ![Cheerleading\_Dropout](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ac8455/32.png) [@Cheerleading\_Dropout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheerleading_Dropout)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2011, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-alright-for-teens-or-grown-children-and-parents-to-share-a-bed/584272/25 "2011-06-05T20:43:32Z")
It depends on the family. Some families are closer or just less embarrassed about this kind of stuff and don’t mind, while other families would never dream of it. However, there’s nothing abnormal about it. ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2011, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-alright-for-teens-or-grown-children-and-parents-to-share-a-bed/584272/26 "2011-06-05T21:14:30Z")
My Great Aunt shared a bed with her mother until my Great-Grandmother died, age 99 (Aunty was 70ish at the time). Because it was cheap (and warmer, as she told me). I think she shared with one or more of her sisters until their father died, but I’m not sure how old she was at the time. Weird that she was so dependant on her mother, yes, otherwise- meh. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2011, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-alright-for-teens-or-grown-children-and-parents-to-share-a-bed/584272/27 "2011-06-05T21:39:01Z")
> [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](#): > > Hypothetically if various reasons of economy and et. al demanded it, would it be acceptable for post-pubescent children to share a bed with their parents? Are they wearing clothes? Is the bed big enough? [del]Are there pictures available?[/del] ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2011, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-alright-for-teens-or-grown-children-and-parents-to-share-a-bed/584272/28 "2011-06-06T02:42:10Z")
No big deal. Though I wouldn’t share a bed with my mom again for the world. The noises she makes are all kinds of wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2011, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-alright-for-teens-or-grown-children-and-parents-to-share-a-bed/584272/29 "2011-06-06T06:03:32Z")
Acceptable. I’ve slept in the same bed as my mom a couple times as an adult, in hotels and when I was ill and she was taking care of me (I was sleeping on her futon but it was very uncomfortable with my body aches, and she couldn’t sleep on anything but her own bed). It didn’t really seem weird at all. I’d never sleep in the same bed with my dad, but he and I are estranged. So it’s more a function of closeness, I believe, than gender. > [@Shagnasty](#): > > Do some people really go around thinking about incest so much that their mind to automatically conjures up taboo and felonious imagery at the slightest suggestions? People who’ve been victims of incest (or have a close relationship with a victim) may have justifiable reasons for freaking out over things like this. Which potentially makes it a pathology, but you shouldn’t necessarily leap to thinking less of someone for having those thoughts. ---
**Author:** ![phantom\_lamb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5f9b8f/32.png) [@phantom\_lamb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phantom_lamb)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2011, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-alright-for-teens-or-grown-children-and-parents-to-share-a-bed/584272/30 "2011-06-06T08:48:02Z")
I would never feel comfortable sharing a bed with any male family member of mine. Female, yes. But if other people don’t feel weird about doing it, that sounds fine to me. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2011, 9:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-alright-for-teens-or-grown-children-and-parents-to-share-a-bed/584272/31 "2011-06-06T09:43:45Z")
It’s not an idea solution - people need their own space and that includes their own bed, but I have no issue with it when it’s necessary. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2011, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-alright-for-teens-or-grown-children-and-parents-to-share-a-bed/584272/32 "2011-06-06T13:09:03Z")
> [@overlyverbose](#): > > No big deal. Though I wouldn’t share a bed with my mom again for the world. The noises she makes are all kinds of wrong. I know - does yours sound like a snuffling pig too? I guess my dad must be used to it. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2011, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-alright-for-teens-or-grown-children-and-parents-to-share-a-bed/584272/33 "2011-06-06T15:24:07Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > I know - does yours sound like a snuffling pig too? I guess my dad must be used to it. Hers is an amazing combination of noises. As she settles in, she groans: “Mmm, mmm, mmmmmmmmm.” Then she snorts herself half awake a few times. Then she snores. Unfortunately, she’s a very light sleeper and I also snore. She will clap her hands - very loudly - if anyone in the room with her makes the slightest noise. If that doesn’t work, she slams her fist down on the nightstand. If she is the slightest bit uncomfortable, she lets _everyone_ know about it. One summer, I shared a bed with her at my sister’s apartment. She would not shut up about how hot it was. Granted, it was mid-summer and her apartment didn’t have an A/C unit in our room. But she was fucking obnoxious. Finally, I got annoyed and left. The wood floor in the living room was uncomfortable, so around dawn I went to sleep on the back porch. The birds woke up. Huge racket. So I went back inside and spread some couch cushions on the floor. As I was dozing off, the cat promptly came over and barfed in my hair. After I washed that out, I curled up in fetal position on the teeny love seat and passed out in front of a bad Hindi movie until my sister and her then-boyfriend (now my brother-in-law) woke up and let me sleep in their bed for a few hours. Of course, my mom woke up refreshed. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2011, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-alright-for-teens-or-grown-children-and-parents-to-share-a-bed/584272/34 "2011-06-06T15:39:49Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > How else can they make sweet sweet love? How about on the kitchen table like normal people? ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2011, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-alright-for-teens-or-grown-children-and-parents-to-share-a-bed/584272/35 "2011-06-06T16:48:30Z")
> [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](#): > > Hypothetically if various reasons of economy and et. al demanded it, would it be acceptable for post-pubescent children to share a bed with their parents? Same or different gender? I’d feel pretty weirded out if I’d had to share a bed with my father, or if I had to share one with my son (now 17). However, when travelling we routinely put the girls (me and Moon Unit) in one bed while the boys (Typo Knig and Dweezil) in the other. It’s not ideal, mainly because Moon Unit is an _awful_ bed partner. She’ll have wakeful periods during the night where she’s thrashing (quite deliberately at times); she’s a mattress and sheet hog, and she kicks. I do NOT enjoy it. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2011, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-alright-for-teens-or-grown-children-and-parents-to-share-a-bed/584272/36 "2011-06-06T19:14:07Z")
My mother had 7 siblings, and they all slept in a room with only two beds. She shared a bed with three of her brothers. But that was back in the '20s, and their body heat was the only heat in the room. ---
**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2011, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-alright-for-teens-or-grown-children-and-parents-to-share-a-bed/584272/37 "2011-06-06T21:29:54Z")
It’s absolutely fine - I’ve shared a bed with same sex cousins plenty of times. Admittedly I have had sex with all of them, but I think that’s the exception that proves the rule 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2011, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-alright-for-teens-or-grown-children-and-parents-to-share-a-bed/584272/38 "2011-06-06T22:05:14Z")
Dorothy and Sofia from _the Golden Girls_, often share a bed. Also don’t Dot and Ditto from _Hi & Lois_ share a bed? ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2011, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-alright-for-teens-or-grown-children-and-parents-to-share-a-bed/584272/39 "2011-06-07T14:20:38Z")
> [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](#): > > Hypothetically if various reasons of economy and et. al demanded it, would it be acceptable for post-pubescent children to share a bed with their parents? Sure. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2011, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-alright-for-teens-or-grown-children-and-parents-to-share-a-bed/584272/40 "2011-06-07T16:03:18Z")
I wouldn’t ever share with my dad, or really most of the male members of my family, but my mom or female members? Sure, and done it before. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-alright-for-teens-or-grown-children-and-parents-to-share-a-bed/584272.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-alright-for-teens-or-grown-children-and-parents-to-share-a-bed/584272.md?page=3)