# Is it bad form to invite someone to an expensive restaurant and NOT share a coupon? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 27, 2020, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-bad-form-to-invite-someone-to-an-expensive-restaurant-and-not-share-a-coupon/919183 "2020-08-27T20:26:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2020, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-bad-form-to-invite-someone-to-an-expensive-restaurant-and-not-share-a-coupon/919183/121 "2020-08-30T14:59:24Z")
> [@MandaJo](#): > > On the occasions when we eat out with friends, it’s often pretty ambigious who did the inviting. Someone says something about getting together, someone else agrees it’s a good idea, suggests a time, second person has a conflict, suggests an alternate, alternate is accepted, there’s some back and forth about where to go. . . . > > At the end of the day, who invited whom? The inviter pays rule only applies where there is no prior agreement. Most of the time people go out with friends or family there is some prior agreement. Even if it’s not specific you assume it’s whatever you did last time. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2020, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-bad-form-to-invite-someone-to-an-expensive-restaurant-and-not-share-a-coupon/919183/122 "2020-08-30T15:24:04Z")
> [@MandaJo](#): > > I guess for the host always paid crowd . . .does this sort of set up describe the events where you feel that one person really should pay? Not for me. I don’t think that such an event has a host. ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2020, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-bad-form-to-invite-someone-to-an-expensive-restaurant-and-not-share-a-coupon/919183/123 "2020-08-30T15:57:02Z")
“I’d like to take you out to dinner.” The inviter pays. “Let’s go out to dinner.” Everyone pays separately. ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Hedonia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ann_hedonia/32/319_2.png) [@Ann\_Hedonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Hedonia)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2020, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-bad-form-to-invite-someone-to-an-expensive-restaurant-and-not-share-a-coupon/919183/124 "2020-08-30T16:56:06Z")
> [@Ynnad](#): > > > [@thorny\_locust](#): > > > > People who routinely eat nearly all their meals out may have a different attitude than people who mostly eat at home. > > Maybe **thorny\_locust** is on to something. I almost never eat out at a restaurant and I am firmly in the ‘person who invites always pays’ camp. Maybe someone should start a poll or survey or something. Maybe you have a point. My friends and I mostly split the checks. I was eating out with friends frequently, once a week at least and usually two or three times a week. It wasn’t an event, it was a meal. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2020, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-bad-form-to-invite-someone-to-an-expensive-restaurant-and-not-share-a-coupon/919183/125 "2020-08-30T16:59:27Z")
> [@lobotomyboy63](#): > > I assumed Groupons encouraged people to try businesses they ordinarily wouldn’t in the hopes that your repeat business would pay off in the long run but she acted like it was a losing deal for her. Groupon was always a scam from Day 1. They told businesses: “Let folks have one half-price meal or whatever and you’ve got a full-price customer forever after!” They told consumers: “Never pay full price for anything ever again! You’ll always be buying with Groupons!” At least one of those two pitches was a lie and they knew it from the git-go. What mostly happened in the real world is a few consumers used Groupon for trying stuff they wouldn’t ordinarily do or couldn’t ordinarily afford. But mostly it was a magnet for the incurably cheap to try to half-price everything everywhere all the time. Pretty quickly the retailers & restaurant folks caught on to who was getting the short end of that stick. ---
**Author:** ![Ynnad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/4491bb/32.png) [@Ynnad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ynnad)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2020, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-bad-form-to-invite-someone-to-an-expensive-restaurant-and-not-share-a-coupon/919183/126 "2020-08-30T17:07:25Z")
> [@Ann\_Hedonia](#): > > … It wasn’t an event, it was a meal. My mind works differently. What is important is that it is a meeting or get together in a public place. The food has little to do with it. You might talk about how good the food is at some place when making the invitation but that is just a ploy to get them to show up. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2020, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-bad-form-to-invite-someone-to-an-expensive-restaurant-and-not-share-a-coupon/919183/127 "2020-08-30T17:19:31Z")
> [@Ynnad](#): > > What is important is that it is a meeting or get together in a public place. The food has little to do with it. Doesn’t even have to be a public place. A dinner or game night or whatever in somebody’s house is to my mind the same sort of thing; and in the traditional reciprocity counts as the same thing. The point, as you say, isn’t the food; it’s the getting together. ---
**Author:** ![Shalmanese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shalmanese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shalmanese)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2020, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-bad-form-to-invite-someone-to-an-expensive-restaurant-and-not-share-a-coupon/919183/128 "2020-08-30T18:02:46Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > They told businesses: “Let folks have one half-price meal or whatever and you’ve got a full-price customer forever after!” > They told consumers: “Never pay full price for anything ever again! You’ll always be buying with Groupons!” > > At least one of those two pitches was a lie and they knew it from the git-go. Huh, they’re not incompatible at all. The same person can have completely different use cases at different times with different willingness to pay. If I’m just looking for a good deal to eat somewhere sometime in the next week, I might not be willing to go to your sushi restaurant unless you give me a discount. If some friends call up and say “Hey, let’s check out the concert next Thursday and let’s grab a bite to eat beforehand”, I’d be willing to say “hey, I had some pretty decent sushi at this place around the corner from the theater, let’s go there”, even if it is full price. It would be ridiculous to suggest that all Groupon customers ate every single one of their meals only with a Groupon discount. The majority of them did find new places to integrate into their regular rotation circuit of full priced meals. ---
**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2020, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-bad-form-to-invite-someone-to-an-expensive-restaurant-and-not-share-a-coupon/919183/129 "2020-08-30T18:11:51Z")
Mid 30s, lived in Illinois and Virginia. “Inviter always pays” is completely alien to me.The only time I would expect the inviter to pay would be a business meal or if it’s my parents. All of my friends would find it bizarre if I paid for their meals or vice versa, for a social meal. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-bad-form-to-invite-someone-to-an-expensive-restaurant-and-not-share-a-coupon/919183.md?page=6)