# Is it ever acceptable to use the term "retarded" when referring to a dumb person? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 5, 2010, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ever-acceptable-to-use-the-term-retarded-when-referring-to-a-dumb-person/549264 "2010-08-05T14:02:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Otara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a88e4f/32.png) [@Otara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otara)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ever-acceptable-to-use-the-term-retarded-when-referring-to-a-dumb-person/549264/61 "2010-08-05T23:21:36Z")
I cant see why you cant just use fuckwit or whatever instead of having to use language like that. But people do it all the time - paranoid, schizo etc. I think the word might be getting old enough people are starting to forget its real origins. Otara ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ever-acceptable-to-use-the-term-retarded-when-referring-to-a-dumb-person/549264/62 "2010-08-05T23:58:34Z")
I’ve always shuddered when I hear that word. Though that’s not so much a logical argument about pejorative jargon than an unwanted flashback to memories of being bullied in grade school. They called us a lot of different names, but “retard” was their favorite. Because being in special ed meant we were subhuman retards who didn’t deserve to use the same half of the playground as they were, lest we contaminate them with our retardedness or something. Sorry, I just got a bit carried away there. But, uh, I hate the word “retard”. Hate it in my guts. There are just some things you shouldn’t call people. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ever-acceptable-to-use-the-term-retarded-when-referring-to-a-dumb-person/549264/63 "2010-08-06T00:22:02Z")
Well, it’s not an insult [if you say it in French.](http://catalog.fborfw.com/indexpanel.php?q=retarded&Submit=Search) ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ever-acceptable-to-use-the-term-retarded-when-referring-to-a-dumb-person/549264/64 "2010-08-06T00:27:55Z")
> [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](#): > > Because being in special ed meant we were subhuman retards who didn’t deserve to use the same half of the playground I know this is going to sound dumb, but I would have never guessed you were ever in special ed. Sounds dumb, because of course people can need special ed classes for all kinds of reasons, but I guess I still have a very stereotypical idea in my head of what special ed means. Otara, you know, I never thought of ‘paranoid’ as a mental health term, ever. It just occured to me with your post that it is. I use it all the time. Now I gotta look up the official meaning. ---
**Author:** ![nuggz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/278dde/32.png) [@nuggz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nuggz)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ever-acceptable-to-use-the-term-retarded-when-referring-to-a-dumb-person/549264/65 "2010-08-06T03:00:45Z")
I’m surprised no one else has pointed out that the PC term “Special Needs” has already spawned an insult. Someone does something laughably dumb, and someone else says, “Oh, John is _special_ ha ha”. Words DO carry meaning (obviously), but there are two sides of that. The person speaking has his meaning, and the listener gleans their own meaning. Often times, these meanings are the same, or similar. But when they are not the same, who’s to blame? I believe that we are all responsible for ourselves. We can only fully control ourselves. I can choose to be offended by the term “retarded” or I can choose to realize that the person using the term may not have meant it in a derrogatory fashion, and not be offended. Or I can realize that the speaker probably didn’t mean the term in a derrogatory fashion, yet STILL BE OFFENDED. Or I can believe that the speaker meant to offend. And be offended. Or not. Life is hard enough (even more so with people who are dealing with “special needs” children, I’m sure) without worrying about what other people think, what they may mean, what they may not mean. In the case of the OP from the first thread, it’s obvious (to me) that he did not intend for the use of the word “retarded” to offend anyone who has or knows people with disabilities. Therefore I am not offended. Had he used the word retarded to refer to someone with a mental handicap, I would have thought he was being ignorant and rude, but I still wouldn’t be offended. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ever-acceptable-to-use-the-term-retarded-when-referring-to-a-dumb-person/549264/66 "2010-08-06T03:14:35Z")
I think some people are just too touchy. ---
**Author:** ![Tequila\_Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/41988e/32.png) [@Tequila\_Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tequila_Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ever-acceptable-to-use-the-term-retarded-when-referring-to-a-dumb-person/549264/67 "2010-08-06T04:18:42Z")
You all make a compelling arguement. I can almost see your point. But not entirely. My big problem is…you are setting an example for people around you. Whether you want to or not, you do. What you say and what you post influences others you may not even realize. Please consider that. The English language is rich and varied and I am sure you can find a word that better conveys your intent. I have heard my kid called a retard to her face. I know she’s been called that and worse by other kids to her older brother. I have heard short bus jokes made in front of her…when the regular bus broke down and they sent the special school bus for my daughter because the replacement didn’t have seatbelts. (The joke was made by another Mom to her kid and her kids friends, “heyuck heyuck, here comes your bus…”) And, yes, a Mom who cries for the hurts her own child hears or endures…who could have imagined such a thing, huh? ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ever-acceptable-to-use-the-term-retarded-when-referring-to-a-dumb-person/549264/68 "2010-08-06T10:41:36Z")
Tequila, is your daughter actually developmentally delayed or otherwise handicapped? Because here’s the thing: anyone who makes fun of actually disabled people to their faces is a complete asshole who will just find a new word, one that won’t hurt your daughter’s feelings any less, I’m pretty sure. I mean, would “stupid” be better? Context is important. When I say “Move it, gimpy.” to my friend with the sprained ankle, that’s funny. If I say it to the one-legged homeless guy at the train station, that’s less funny, you know? ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ever-acceptable-to-use-the-term-retarded-when-referring-to-a-dumb-person/549264/69 "2010-08-06T13:24:05Z")
I had an aunt who was born to my Grandmother when she (my Grandmother) was almost 50. We were always told that my aunt was “sub-normal”. To us she was always just a large kid and we played with her as such.It would never have occurred to us that sub-normal was a bad term, although we knew of course that he said aunt was different. I would never be able to use the term now to describe a person. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ever-acceptable-to-use-the-term-retarded-when-referring-to-a-dumb-person/549264/70 "2010-08-06T13:42:42Z")
> [@nuggz](#): > > I’m surprised no one else has pointed out that the PC term “Special Needs” has already spawned an insult. I did. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ever-acceptable-to-use-the-term-retarded-when-referring-to-a-dumb-person/549264/71 "2010-08-06T16:04:45Z")
> [@Tequila\_Mockingbird](#): > > I have heard my kid called a retard to her face. I know she’s been called that and worse by other kids to her older brother. I have heard short bus jokes made in front of her…when the regular bus broke down and they sent the special school bus for my daughter because the replacement didn’t have seatbelts. People who mock others for limitations they have no control over are fucking assholes. However, that doesn’t change the fact that your daughter does have limitations, and that those limitations are, I’m sure, something you wish she didn’t have. All the bright and sunny euphemisms in the world (“special needs,” “differently abled,” etc.) aren’t going to change that. So why are you so surprised that the disabilities themselves–separate from your daughter–are considered to be a negative thing? There is a difference between mocking a \*person \*and mocking a _disability_. Somebody who calls your daughter a retard or refers to her as retarded is an asshole and should be beaten with bats. Someone who applies the term to someone who doesn’t actually have the disability in question… It’s not remotely the same thing. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ever-acceptable-to-use-the-term-retarded-when-referring-to-a-dumb-person/549264/72 "2010-08-06T16:28:14Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > Now, I have a story to tell. > > At my first summer job there was this Dominican dude, very dark skinned. He had issues with race where he comes from, and he has told our boss stories about how he was called black and put down in his hometown neighborhood. He confessed to my ex-boss that one of the things that made him feel a bit better was that he was at least not ‘_black_ black’, meaning Black American, or of African descent. > > My ex boss probably shouldn’t have, but she ran that gossip right back to the rest of us. Right away, we started busting his balls and calling him ‘brother’ all the time in that way that black folks can when they are being extra annoying 'excuse me, brrrrothaaaa" Hahaa! He would get so mad! “I’m not your brother! I’m not even BLACK!!” But, we just kept right on, brotha this, brotha that. > > Obviously, that shit was unprofessional. We got called on it, and we were ordered to cut it out, stat. > > After that, this dude would still freak out whenever we said ‘brother’, even though we were using it innocently amongst ourselves. “hand me that paper, Shawn? Thanks, brotha”. I mean, that is something we do all the time, anyways! But even months later, he would go bananas when we said it to eachother. Our boss instructed us that we aren’t to say it anymore at all. (although I guess it was cool for them to call me ‘sista’, still). Now, this was very relaxed atmosphere. We were always saying ‘bro’ or ‘buddy’ or ‘asshole’ or whatever. But my boss was very serious about no more ‘brother’. > > I think that story speaks to how weird we all can get about words. That word ‘brother’ had morphed and flipped and switched until we were all actin’ nutty. He was offended not only at what the word meant when we hurled it at him with a bad intention…he was now offended by the letters b-r-o-t-h-e-r. Fascinating to me. Interesting story, **Nzinga**. It sounds like he developed a Pavlovian-conditioning type reaction to the word. Which may explain why **Tequila** had such an emotional reaction to seeing a word in a thread title. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ever-acceptable-to-use-the-term-retarded-when-referring-to-a-dumb-person/549264/73 "2010-08-06T16:38:31Z")
> [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](#): > > It’s just that we’ve had this conversation before, **Chessic** , you and I. I think it was about calling things gay or something. When people quote me to tell me I’m wrong, ordinarily I assume they want a response, but in this case we’ve already been down that road. So I’m just saying, yeah, I know that you think I’m full of shit for saying a particular word has a particular connotation whether or not you want it to. Oh. Then I apologize. I thought you were trying to tell me to STFU in a “not in the Pit” way. > [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](#): > > It’s not the fact that there’s a physical disability, it’s the fact that people with that disability get shit on pretty regularly for having it. > [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](#): > > Maybe I just grew up around (and have only in adulthood encountered) especially vicious people when it comes to dealing with mental incapacity; I don’t know. Maybe that’s the difference, then. I’ve never seen or heard someone shit on anybody with a disability. At least, not to their face. > [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > At my first summer job there was this Dominican dude, very dark skinned. He had issues with race where he comes from, and he has told our boss stories about how he was called black and put down in his hometown neighborhood. He confessed to my ex-boss that one of the things that made him feel a bit better was that he was at least not ‘_black_ black’, meaning Black American, or of African descent. > > My ex boss probably shouldn’t have, but she ran that gossip right back to the rest of us. Right away, we started busting his balls and calling him ‘brother’ all the time in that way that black folks can when they are being extra annoying 'excuse me, brrrrothaaaa" Hahaa! He would get so mad! “I’m not your brother! I’m not even BLACK!!” But, we just kept right on, brotha this, brotha that. Actual conversation with friend in a bar last week: Him: “Buy me a beer!” Me: “It’s your turn to buy me one.” “Consider it reparations for what your people did to my people.” “But…you’re…Indian.” [pause] “Shhhh.” > [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > he would go bananas You might want to say THAT to his face either. 🙂 > [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > I think that story speaks to how weird we all can get about words. That word ‘brother’ had morphed and flipped and switched until we were all actin’ nutty. He was offended not only at what the word meant when we hurled it at him with a bad intention…he was now offended by the letters b-r-o-t-h-e-r. Fascinating to me. I once made the mistake of calling a black guy “brother”. He flipped out on me. Funny thing is, though, I picked it up from watching Arrested Development with my friends, with Buster always going “Heeey, brothers” to his actual, y’know, brothers. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ever-acceptable-to-use-the-term-retarded-when-referring-to-a-dumb-person/549264/74 "2010-08-06T17:54:03Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > > [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](#): > > > > Because being in special ed meant we were subhuman retards who didn’t deserve to use the same half of the playground > > I know this is going to sound dumb, but I would have never guessed you were ever in special ed. Sounds dumb, because of course people can need special ed classes for all kinds of reasons, but I guess I still have a very stereotypical idea in my head of what special ed means. Thanks. I was in the ‘special’ classes for behavioral and emotional issues more than strict “learning disbilities”. I’m borderline Asperger’s, among other things; so I may know how to spell ‘floccinaucinihilipilification’ from memory, but I have trouble carrying on a conversation. Come to think of it, I have no problem ironically using “special” about myself; I’ll joke about how we were special little children in a very special little way. Then again, the playground jerks didn’t use that word. ---
**Author:** ![Stratocaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stratocaster/32/16393_2.png) [@Stratocaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stratocaster)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ever-acceptable-to-use-the-term-retarded-when-referring-to-a-dumb-person/549264/75 "2010-08-06T19:32:02Z")
> [@Tequila\_Mockingbird](#): > > **My big problem is…you are setting an example for people around you.** Whether you want to or not, you do. What you say and what you post influences others you may not even realize. Please consider that. The English language is rich and varied and I am sure you can find a word that better conveys your intent. > > I have heard my kid called a retard to her face. I know she’s been called that and worse by other kids to her older brother. I have heard short bus jokes made in front of her…when the regular bus broke down and they sent the special school bus for my daughter because the replacement didn’t have seatbelts. (The joke was made by another Mom to her kid and her kids friends, “heyuck heyuck, here comes your bus…”) > > And, yes, a Mom who cries for the hurts her own child hears or endures..who could have imagined such a thing, huh? Tequila, I understand completely. Anyone who has not had to live with and witness the sort of abusive shit that the mentally retarded have to has the luxury of hand-waving away “hypersensitivity.” It’s not hypersensitivity. And “don’t be so touchy” is a diificult lesson to convey to someone with the challenges someone like my brother Bill has. It is heartbreaking, and I simply cannot fathom how this isn’t obvious. I posted this in another thread, and I’m pasting it because I don’t have the energy to type this again, for the umpteenth time. > [@](#): > > I can’t understand the passion some people have in defending the slang use of words like “retarded” and “retard.” As I said in another live thread: > > > [@](#): > > > > My brother Bill is mentally retarded. He’s a sweet guy, if a bit fearful. He can’t walk down the street of our community when the local high school lets out because the kids get a kick out of tormenting him, and he does not stand up for himself. He might run, or he might cry, but he won’t fight back. I have witnessed many people who had no problem calling him a retard to his face (I, on the other hand, am not reluctant to stick up for him, but I’m not always there). Most people aren’t so aggressively, directly cruel. But if you accept using people like my brother as a handy way to show your contempt, you’re contributing to such an environment, whether you mean to or not. > > > > I don’t buy that people aren’t using retarded people as the reference point when they use such phrases, in the vast majority of such instances. And I’ve actually had people justify it by offering some form of “but retards are stupid,” as if that should remove any offense taken. “Imbecile” may have lost its clinical connotation, but “mentally retarded” has not. It means something. It refers to a group of people who most need our protection. It refers to people who are viewed and treated by many as subhuman. It refers to my brother Bill. I know that makes it subjective and personal for me. So be it. Please don’t use such phrases, and don’t trivialize them. For some of us, when it’s used as a derisive phrase, it is no different than “nigger” or “kike.” > > Later in that thread: > > > [@](#): > > > > … using such terms is hurtful to the mentally retarded and their families \ Does every other phrase pale in comparison to the simple elegance of “fucking retarded”? Why is there such passionate devotion to this wording? It hurts a group of people who don’t need any more hurt. Why does it need more explanation than that? > > …which is basically what you’ve concluded. I don’t know why the debate is more complicated than that. And I am NOT a supporter of most things PC–quite the contrary. But if most others could see the tears and pain I have seen over such things, from a group of people who are weak and most need our protection, I believe they’d change their minds. It really is such a “WTF?” issue for me. Just use a different word, man. Does anyone really want to take a position of “fuck the pain the mentally retarded and their families feel about this, I really like that word”? Unfortunately, some do. There are those who have argued that no other phrase could possibly do the job that “fucking retarded” does. None. > > “Retard” and “retarded” (as Emanuel used it) use the mentally retarded as a frame of reference for contempt. The word isn’t insulting unless we are to understand that the mentally retarded are benchmarks for a certain type of ridicule. Whether or not anyone thinks the comparison apt in a given situation, does anyone disagree that this would feel hurtful, that it sucks to be a touchstone for ridicule? Use a different word. You cannot understand how marginalized the mentally retarded feel. People won’t shake their hands, won’t speak to them, don’t know what to make of them when they encounter them. It’s like a friggin’ Martian just walked into the room. Use a different word, for Pete’s sake. > > I do take exception with your notion that mental retardation is an equation with stupidity, which I mention because you seem like a reasonable guy. No one denies that the mentally retarded, by definition, have cognitive challenges. But I have known many with remarkably consistent common sense. Certainly there are borderline mentally retarded people who you might have trouble detecting. My point is that beliefs such as, “Well, of course they are all stupid” are bigoted and contribute to the abusive culture that the mentally retarded suffer. And believe me, it’s real. Take a cruise through some of the threads on this very board to see the value some people assign to “the 'tards.” These attitudes don’t develop in a vacuum. There is a connection with how my brother is treated and the general acceptance of terms like “retard.” But nobody gives a shit because it’s a group of people who are by and large powerless. “Well, those people, the ones who would directly insult your brother, they’re real assholes. Not me, though. I simply use him and people like him as a frame of reference for ridicule.” Oh, that’s okay then. It’s mind-boggling to me. God almighty, just use a different word. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ever-acceptable-to-use-the-term-retarded-when-referring-to-a-dumb-person/549264/76 "2010-08-06T20:59:15Z")
Why do you get to speak for everybody with a mental disability? For every person who knows or cares for someone who’s developmentally disabled who hates the word “retard,” there’s one who knows or cares for someone who’s developmentally disabled who doesn’t have a problem with the word. (Outside the obvious case of using it to mock someone who actually has a disability.) And why does using one word magically change everything? What does it matter if the word is retarded, or stupid, or moronic, or idiotic? They all mean the same thing: that something or someone is behaving in the manner of a person with below-normal cognitive functions. Period. Full stop. Until sub-average cognitive function becomes a desirable characteristic, the words used to describe it will always be used in a pejorative way. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Bith\_Shuffle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce73a5/32.png) [@The\_Bith\_Shuffle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Bith_Shuffle)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ever-acceptable-to-use-the-term-retarded-when-referring-to-a-dumb-person/549264/77 "2010-08-06T21:41:19Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > Why do you get to speak for everybody with a mental disability? For every person who knows or cares for someone who’s developmentally disabled who hates the word “retard,” there’s one who knows or cares for someone who’s developmentally disabled who doesn’t have a problem with the word. (Outside the obvious case of using it to mock someone who actually has a disability.) Quite right. My brother is in the Asperger spectrum. I see him at least once a week and I don’t have a problem with “retard”. His condition worsens his life: he has very little empathy or intuitive social sense. At twenty-three he has never had any close friends and has had very few acquaintances. Granted, like many in the Asperger spectrum, his raw information-processing abilities are actually better than normal; his memory and logical reasoning abilities are strong. But it’s nevertheless true that he is mentally disabled and that it has a serious negative impact on his life. > [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > And why does using one word magically change everything? What does it matter if the word is retarded, or stupid, or moronic, or idiotic? They all mean the same thing: that something or someone is behaving in the manner of a person with below-normal cognitive functions. Period. Full stop. Until sub-average cognitive function becomes a desirable characteristic, the words used to describe it will always be used in a pejorative way. This is where it pays to distinguish between mental retardation/cognitive impairment and the general pantheon of mental disabilities. Technically, my brother’s autistic impairment is a mental disability, whereas it is not technically a cognitive impairment, because it impacts his empathy but not his thinking ability. And he’s certainly not mentally retarded: he scored higher than I did on the SAT. “retard” is used in the vernacular to refer to those with reduced thinking ability, but not those with other disabilities. I’ve never heard somebody with low empathy called “retard” because of their deficiency in that particular mental sphere. ---
**Author:** ![Stratocaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stratocaster/32/16393_2.png) [@Stratocaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stratocaster)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 9:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ever-acceptable-to-use-the-term-retarded-when-referring-to-a-dumb-person/549264/78 "2010-08-07T09:50:00Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > Why do you get to speak for everybody with a mental disability? For every person who knows or cares for someone who’s developmentally disabled who hates the word “retard,” there’s one who knows or cares for someone who’s developmentally disabled who doesn’t have a problem with the word. (Outside the obvious case of using it to mock someone who actually has a disability.) I’m not. I’m speaking for those who find the word hurtful, which is obvious. But we still need to find some tortuous way to justify this–“hey, not everybody who loves a mentally retarded person cares. So it’s okay then.” Yeah, right. ---
**Author:** ![jasonh300](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/46a35a/32.png) [@jasonh300](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jasonh300)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ever-acceptable-to-use-the-term-retarded-when-referring-to-a-dumb-person/549264/79 "2010-08-07T20:37:22Z")
> [@Justin\_Bailey](#): > > Parents with retarded/mentally challenged/differently abled kids want to have it both ways. They’ve mostly abandoned retarded as a medical diagnosis because it’s used as a synonym for stupid, but they also turn around and act all offended when someone uses retarded as a synonym for stupid. “Retarded” is the opposite of “advanced”. It’s a perfectly good word unless you’re using it as an insult. In the spirit of being sensitive to mentally-retarded people and their families, one should probably be very careful in using the word (when my engine was knocking from using low-octane gas, I _ **retarded** _ the timing a couple of degrees to get it to stop), just like you’re careful about using the word “fat” around obese people, “bald” around those with no hair, etc. “Mentally Challenged” is also used as a synonym for stupid. I’ve heard kids say that about other kids as a put-down (probably because they were reprimanded for calling them “retards”). Any word that is used as a diagnosis for mental retardation is going to eventually be used by kids as a synonym for stupid. This includes obsolete medical terms such as “idiot”, “imbecile” and “moron”. ---
**Author:** ![be\_bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a5b964/32.png) [@be\_bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/be_bright)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ever-acceptable-to-use-the-term-retarded-when-referring-to-a-dumb-person/549264/80 "2010-08-08T00:29:34Z")
> [@asterion](#): > > > [@MeanOldLady](#): > > > > What of all the retards outside of America? > > Well, you need to tell me the country and the name of a politician that is as stupid as Sarah Palin. I will. I’ll _refutiate_ you…just wait and see. – I used “retarded” and “gay” quite a lot…in middle school. Both thankfully slipped out of my vocabulary (in that context) when middle school was done. I just try not to call anyone or anything retarded when it doesn’t matter because I don’t want to let it slip when it does (same with aforementioned juvenile use of “gay”). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ever-acceptable-to-use-the-term-retarded-when-referring-to-a-dumb-person/549264.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ever-acceptable-to-use-the-term-retarded-when-referring-to-a-dumb-person/549264.md?page=5)