Since a lot of people are questioning eating only the top, I guess I should explain.
The top is where the muffin breaks free of the pan. It gets those thin edges, which get a little crunchy. It’s like a little crunchy UFO of yum. And if it has sugar or frosting on the top, you get that too. The stump? That’s just cake. Boring.
Damn. It’s like I’m visiting another planet.
I’ve never even heard of such a thing. This must be one of those weird big-city decadences mama warned me about.
Why not just get scones, then? Easy to make, actually. And they have nice crusts on them if you make 'em right.
Huh, muffin top.
Isn’t he a comedian?
I think the reason most people are mystified as to why you leave the stump of the muffin is that muffins are pretty much a single-serving item, like donuts or bagels.
To repeat Manduck’s question: Are these muffins the size of volleyballs or something?
It’s basically the continuing the decline of western culture and society. Soon, we will see single people buying vehicles that seat 12 because they’re “roomy,” and people eating only the toppings off of pizza because the bread makes them fat . . . wait . . .
Seriously though, while I am normally not the world’s biggest anti-consumerism activist, something about discarding the stump does bug me. It just seems so wasteful and grossly hedonistic.
Etiquette would dictate that you take and eat it all, not be wasteful.
mo·ral·i·ty Pronunciation Key (m-rl-t, mô-)
n. pl. mo·ral·i·ties
Some folks would say you feel superiors to others and can do as you please, taking the top, ‘best’ for yourself, and leaving the ‘stump’ for those not as good as you are.
IMHO there is no debate, just an attitude, good or bad, peculiar to each individual.
It irks me when people do this or similar things (like taking half a doughnut). The problem is anyone so gauche is probably covered in festering boils and so the other half must be covered in more cooties than Courtney Love’s bed spread.
:eek: that’s a lot of cooties!
Yeah, I don’t normally get upset over things like this, but something about it seems so wrong.
Seeing I don’t know how the stump got there (did the stump leaver eat off the top of the muffin? I don’t know. But there are people in my office that I certainly wouldn’t put that past and my bet is they don’t wash their hands) or your general level of hygene, the stump is garbage. Not only that, but it’s garbage left among good food - which makes the good food also suspect.
If you absolutely must, separate it from the pack and leave the aforementioned note. But really, take the whole muffin. Eat the stump for lunch.
Really? Never? I guess you missed that episode of Seinfeld, then. Which inspired numerous coffee houses to market muffin tops.
I’d eat a stump - unless there’s obvious drool or bite marks all over it.
Isn’t there any real work to do around the office? Methinks some company needs to downsize. You all have too much time on your hands.
I wouldn’t eat a stump someone left behind, but I usually don’t eat any unwrapped food that’s been set out, just because I’ve worked with some scuzzy people and I don’t trust them to not put their dirty hands all over the stuff before I have a chance to see it. But I eat the whole muffin anyway, and think it’s really wasteful to do otherwise. Would you pick chocolate chips out of a cookie? Scrape the icing off a piece of cake? I don’t care how sanitary it is, it’s the wastefulness that gets me. Eat your cake-stump and STFU.
It seems kind of offensive to me because the messege seems to be “Oh, I’ll just take the good parts. The rest of you guys can have the crap I don’t want to eat.” Even if you arn’t eating more muffin than you would if you ate the whole thing, it still leaves the impression that you are a bit greedy and childish.
Stump Removal - Quick and Easy:
Problem solved.
Yes, I think circumcision is reprehensible! 
Didn’t I see this on Seinfeld? Paging Elaine, Miss Elaine Benes.
Next time, just order scones and avoid the entire moral conundrum. Problem solved.
If you like, you can subscribe to my newsletter, but then I’d have to put one together. In lieu of that, just re-read the Principia Discordia, or How I Found Goddess And What I Did To Her When I Found Her: The Magnum Opiate Of Malaclypse The Younger, Wherein is Explained Absolutely Everything Worth Knowing About Absolutely Anything.
All hail Eris.
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