# Is it impolite to refuse to share your umbrella with a stranger when it's raining? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 13, 2013, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-impolite-to-refuse-to-share-your-umbrella-with-a-stranger-when-its-raining/660930 "2013-06-13T21:29:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-impolite-to-refuse-to-share-your-umbrella-with-a-stranger-when-its-raining/660930/41 "2013-06-14T17:52:36Z")
Did everybody stare as though you were both quite insane? Or maybe just you? ---
**Author:** ![MegaBee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f0a364/32.png) [@MegaBee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MegaBee)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-impolite-to-refuse-to-share-your-umbrella-with-a-stranger-when-its-raining/660930/42 "2013-06-14T18:11:03Z")
Impolite to ask, not impolite to refuse. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-impolite-to-refuse-to-share-your-umbrella-with-a-stranger-when-its-raining/660930/43 "2013-06-14T18:25:55Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > I was waiting at the bus stop this morning and it started raining. I asked a person if I could stand under her umbrella. > > NO! > > WTF? > > So I decided to take a poll on the subject. I’d share if a strange woman asked me (or I’d just give her my umbrella) but I would be surprised and wonder what her motives were as we pressed close beneath the nylon curtain, personal spaces crushed together, making small talk, her breasts brush against my arm as she says “Nice weather for Ducks … eh?” .. “Eh”? Is she Canadian? Does she need to marry a man… any man, for a green card? I’m alarmed and confused. What do you feed a Canadian woman? Are they high maintenance? Why is this happening… Why!!! ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-impolite-to-refuse-to-share-your-umbrella-with-a-stranger-when-its-raining/660930/44 "2013-06-14T18:35:47Z")
Put me down as “impolite to ask, not impolite to refuse” as well. Asking to share puts the umbrella holder in an awkward position. I also think that it’s not required to offer to share. The asker is asking to get way too close to me, way too soon, at the very least. The asker might be a perfectly nice person. The asker might also not have bathed in the past week, and/or used cologne or Axe as a substitute. The asker might decide that I don’t really need my wallet. Worse, the asker might decide that I am dying to hear his/her religious beliefs or poetry. Truly, a fate worse than death. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-impolite-to-refuse-to-share-your-umbrella-with-a-stranger-when-its-raining/660930/45 "2013-06-14T18:47:58Z")
I’d have probably invited you before you asked. I was raised a Southern Gentleman, I was. > [@Mathematics](#): > > You’re pretty much forcing them into an awkward position. Why does everything always have to come back to sex?😛 ---
**Author:** ![randomface](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/5fc32e/32.png) [@randomface](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/randomface)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-impolite-to-refuse-to-share-your-umbrella-with-a-stranger-when-its-raining/660930/46 "2013-06-14T19:01:47Z")
I only carry an umbrella when it’s supposed to be pouring and I expect to be outside longer than to simply run to my car. In those cases, I carry a large golf umbrella, since smaller ones still let my feet and legs get rained on in any sort of breeze. I wouldn’t mind sharing one with someone if they asked, since me walking somewhere with a five foot wide umbrella already covers some people on a sidewalk. If it was a normal sized umbrella, then no, I’m not asking to share nor sharing. ---
**Author:** ![jali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecae2f/32.png) [@jali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jali)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-impolite-to-refuse-to-share-your-umbrella-with-a-stranger-when-its-raining/660930/47 "2013-06-14T19:10:57Z")
You said this yesterday: > [@Dropping By To Visit - Unannounced](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dropping-by-to-visit-unannounced/660564/58): > > Absolutely nobody better drop by me unannounced. They will not be let in unless it’s a dire emergency. I didn’t even call my best friend when I was in a bus accident two blocks from her house. Your friends can’t invade your space, but you feel that a stranger should allow you access to their space because it’s raining. ---
**Author:** ![JerrySTL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e274bd/32.png) [@JerrySTL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JerrySTL)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-impolite-to-refuse-to-share-your-umbrella-with-a-stranger-when-its-raining/660930/48 "2013-06-14T19:20:57Z")
Maybe if you asked a person of the opposite sex, you’d have better luck. That and sing Bus Stop by The Hollies. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-impolite-to-refuse-to-share-your-umbrella-with-a-stranger-when-its-raining/660930/49 "2013-06-14T19:30:05Z")
> [@Anonymous User](#): > > Why are you so afraid of capitalization? why are you so afraid of letting people be different from you? ---
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-impolite-to-refuse-to-share-your-umbrella-with-a-stranger-when-its-raining/660930/50 "2013-06-14T19:32:02Z")
Weird to ask, but I’d share and make you hold it. Then I’d be free to run away if standing next to you became unpleasant, plus most people are taller than me. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-impolite-to-refuse-to-share-your-umbrella-with-a-stranger-when-its-raining/660930/51 "2013-06-14T20:03:11Z")
> [@astro](#): > > I’d share if a strange woman asked me (or I’d just give her my umbrella) but I would be surprised and wonder what her motives were as we pressed close beneath the nylon curtain, personal spaces crushed together, making small talk, her breasts brush against my arm as she says “Nice weather for Ducks … eh?” .. > > “Eh”? Is she Canadian? Does she need to marry a man… any man, for a green card? I’m alarmed and confused. What do you feed a Canadian woman? Are they high maintenance? Why is this happening… Why!!! I assume you feed them Canadian bacon and maple syrup and milk from a bag. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-impolite-to-refuse-to-share-your-umbrella-with-a-stranger-when-its-raining/660930/52 "2013-06-14T20:04:20Z")
I guess it would be rude if you refused rudely, but it’s not inherently rude. It’s not inherently rude to ask, but you’d better have a good reason, just like any other request of a stranger. (With a friend or even acquaintance, it wouldn’t be rude at all unless you asked rudely.) There are some situations where you offer, but only if you have a rather big umbrella and thus there is enough space for both people to be comfortable. Most of the time, sharing an umbrella means you’re going to wind up touching other person or being really really close to doing so. And, unlike in an elevator, you can’t really turn yourself away to lessen the effect. I am curious where you are and in what social circles you travel that you think that asking a stranger to share an umbrella is _de rigueur_, as you seem to assume. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-impolite-to-refuse-to-share-your-umbrella-with-a-stranger-when-its-raining/660930/53 "2013-06-14T20:06:53Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > why are you so afraid of letting people be different from you? I don’t see how this follows from anything he said. I’m also not entirely sure how you can “let” someone be different than you. Everyone _is_ different than you. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-impolite-to-refuse-to-share-your-umbrella-with-a-stranger-when-its-raining/660930/54 "2013-06-14T20:12:40Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > Unless you’re Sofia Vergara, you wont be sharing my umbrella. You realize, of course, that you’ll need a HUGE umbrella to keep all of her dry. ---
**Author:** ![CookingWithGas](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cookingwithgas/32/485_2.png) [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-impolite-to-refuse-to-share-your-umbrella-with-a-stranger-when-its-raining/660930/55 "2013-06-14T20:42:58Z")
It would be very nice to \*offer \*to share but a little forward to \*ask \*to share. Some people are just not comfortable with a stranger getting into their personal space and it’s not rude to decline the request. I answered “maybe” because if you had been having a 15-mninute conversation while waiting for a bus then it started to rain, it might be impolite to refuse. ---
**Author:** ![voltaire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voltaire/32/313_2.png) [@voltaire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voltaire)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-impolite-to-refuse-to-share-your-umbrella-with-a-stranger-when-its-raining/660930/56 "2013-06-14T22:28:24Z")
If it’s raining more than ever, you can stand under my umbrella-ella-ella-ay-ay-ay. But I’ll probably annoy you into leaving with my incessant Rihanna-anna-anna-ay-ay-ay rendition. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-impolite-to-refuse-to-share-your-umbrella-with-a-stranger-when-its-raining/660930/57 "2013-06-14T23:04:05Z")
I always lose umbrellas so I only buy the cheap ones, which are barely sufficient to keep me dry. If I was with a close friend I could see huddling together to try to keep as dry as possible, but a stranger? No way. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-impolite-to-refuse-to-share-your-umbrella-with-a-stranger-when-its-raining/660930/58 "2013-06-14T23:26:56Z")
60’s lyrics can only steer us in the right direction. - Bus stop, wet day, she’s there, I say “Please share my umbrella” Bus stop, bus goes, she stays, love grows Under my umbrella All that summer we enjoyed it Wind and rain and shine That umbrella, we employed it By August, she was mine\* The revealed truth is the line "she’s there I say "Please share my umbrella. He offered (polite) and she didn’t ask (weird, creepy behavior). Same with ‘50s musicals, where umbrella-sharing is common. At the end of the "Singin’ In The Rain" number, Kelly gives his umbrella to the guy trying to use a newspaper to cover himself. Kelly giving it away? Polite. Newspaper-guy asking for it? Would have been disturbing and weird. We have so much to learn from pop culture. Kidding aside, to me, asking to share someone’s umbrella would be like a stranger at a restaurant coming over to your table and saying “Hey, that appetizer looks really, _really_ good. Mind if I have a bite?” It’s the same sort of personal-space, hyper-entitled, weird behavior to me. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-impolite-to-refuse-to-share-your-umbrella-with-a-stranger-when-its-raining/660930/59 "2013-06-14T23:48:33Z")
> [@Fenris](#): > > Same with ‘50s musicals, where umbrella-sharing is common. At the end of the "Singin’ In The Rain" number, Kelly gives his umbrella to the guy trying to use a newspaper to cover himself. That’s funny. I did that once. Walking home from the train station in pouring rain I passed a woman with no umbrella as I got to my front gate. I offered her my umbrella to use on her walk home. She thought it was weird but I insisted, telling her she could drop it off on my front step any time later as I had other umbrellas. So she happily took it. I had never realized that I got the idea from Gene Kelly. ---
**Author:** ![expectopatronum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/expectopatronum/32/173_2.png) [@expectopatronum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/expectopatronum)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-impolite-to-refuse-to-share-your-umbrella-with-a-stranger-when-its-raining/660930/60 "2013-06-14T23:56:52Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > I was waiting at the bus stop this morning and it started raining. I asked a person if I could stand under her umbrella. > > NO! > > WTF? > > So I decided to take a poll on the subject. do you have any sense of boundaries when it comes to interacting with people? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-impolite-to-refuse-to-share-your-umbrella-with-a-stranger-when-its-raining/660930.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-impolite-to-refuse-to-share-your-umbrella-with-a-stranger-when-its-raining/660930.md?page=4)