# Is it important to the story of your life who you had sex with? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 4, 2013, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-important-to-the-story-of-your-life-who-you-had-sex-with/652027 "2013-03-04T18:42:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![carlotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@carlotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carlotta)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2013, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-important-to-the-story-of-your-life-who-you-had-sex-with/652027/1 "2013-03-04T18:42:55Z")
Over in Cafe Society they’re talking about [whether it’s offensive to portray Leonardo DaVinci as straight](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=683919). This gets asked: > [@Da Vinci's Demons: Is it offensive that Leonardo isn't gay?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/da-vincis-demons-is-it-offensive-that-leonardo-isnt-gay/651767/14): > > And Da Vinci’s sexuality one way or the other should be included because…? > > Is it important to the story of your life who you had sex with? And it made me wonder, is it? If your biography gets written is who you slept with important? If my biography gets written (surely the most boring biography ever. Nice to live, pointless to document), then it’s important to include my husband. And it’s also important to include that he’s not the only person I ever slept with, if only to make it clear I had options. What say you? ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2013, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-important-to-the-story-of-your-life-who-you-had-sex-with/652027/2 "2013-03-04T18:49:18Z")
Only if my wife is going to read the story. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2013, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-important-to-the-story-of-your-life-who-you-had-sex-with/652027/3 "2013-03-04T18:50:59Z")
I wouldn’t say it’s important, unless the sheer numbers are remarkable, or they were part of a relationship that was somehow formative or that marked a particular period in a person’s life. I mean, some of the women I’ve been with are definitely worth mentioning in a biography of me- my wife and a longtime girlfriend before she came along, but there are others who were merely flings and/or short-term relationships that wouldn’t be interesting to anyone reading the biography. Hell, I’d probably leave them out of an autobiography! ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2013, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-important-to-the-story-of-your-life-who-you-had-sex-with/652027/4 "2013-03-04T18:54:03Z")
It is if your name is _O_. ---
**Author:** ![Mrs.Cake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2acd7d/32.png) [@Mrs.Cake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs.Cake)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2013, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-important-to-the-story-of-your-life-who-you-had-sex-with/652027/5 "2013-03-04T19:01:15Z")
The two men I lived with (not concurrently) before marrying my husband are probably important, but none of the others meant a thing to me, I swear. ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2013, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-important-to-the-story-of-your-life-who-you-had-sex-with/652027/6 "2013-03-04T19:03:33Z")
It is important to your personal life story. It may or may not be important to your life story as it relates to history or your contributions or notability. Henry VIII sex life= very important. Cleopatra’s bed mates. Relevant. Oscar Wilde or Alan Turing? Peripheral, but needed for completeness sake. Michaelangelo, Da Vinci, Christopher Wren, Duke of Wellington? Irrelevant. ---
**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2013, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-important-to-the-story-of-your-life-who-you-had-sex-with/652027/7 "2013-03-04T19:05:34Z")
I hope they don’t include everyone I slept with in my biography. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2013, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-important-to-the-story-of-your-life-who-you-had-sex-with/652027/8 "2013-03-04T19:30:05Z")
> [@Ibanez](#): > > I hope they don’t include everyone I slept with in my biography. :eek: It would make one hell of a pamphlet though. ---
**Author:** ![FrankJBN](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@FrankJBN](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FrankJBN)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2013, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-important-to-the-story-of-your-life-who-you-had-sex-with/652027/9 "2013-03-04T19:39:50Z")
As Osacr Wilde’s sexuality caused him to end up in prison and generally ruined his career and life, in his case I would say far from merely perpheral. For those who note their spouse - is it of import that you were having sex with your spouse or is it other considerations that make them an important part of your life? ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2013, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-important-to-the-story-of-your-life-who-you-had-sex-with/652027/10 "2013-03-04T19:48:49Z")
In some ways, it’d be the near-misses that would be as interesting as the women with whom I’ve actually had sex. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![saje](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saje/32/3631_2.png) [@saje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saje)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2013, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-important-to-the-story-of-your-life-who-you-had-sex-with/652027/11 "2013-03-04T19:52:51Z")
> [@carlotta](#): > > And it made me wonder, is it? If your biography gets written is who you slept with important? No. ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2013, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-important-to-the-story-of-your-life-who-you-had-sex-with/652027/12 "2013-03-04T19:57:26Z")
there were some eye popping events. ---
**Author:** ![harmonicamoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/65b543/32.png) [@harmonicamoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmonicamoon)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2013, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-important-to-the-story-of-your-life-who-you-had-sex-with/652027/13 "2013-03-04T20:14:58Z")
Not really important the “who” part. But the fact that it happened was very important! ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2013, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-important-to-the-story-of-your-life-who-you-had-sex-with/652027/14 "2013-03-04T20:21:33Z")
Well, how to put this… it wouldn’t add anything beyond titillation value to \*my \*life story to include one name, but it would have significant repercussions were it to be included in hers. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2013, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-important-to-the-story-of-your-life-who-you-had-sex-with/652027/15 "2013-03-04T20:33:30Z")
That Helen Hunt can’t keep her mouth shut about me, and it’s getting tiresome. I mean… no. Unless there’s some further relevance to what happens in your life. ---
**Author:** ![KermitTheFrig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/47e85d/32.png) [@KermitTheFrig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KermitTheFrig)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2013, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-important-to-the-story-of-your-life-who-you-had-sex-with/652027/16 "2013-03-04T20:38:17Z")
Wouldn’t matter much in mine up the the present time, but nobody is ever going to write my biography based on anything I’ve ever done so far. However, among those people who are actually worthy of having biographies written, who they did (or didn’t) have sex with could be key in the development of their lives. ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2013, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-important-to-the-story-of-your-life-who-you-had-sex-with/652027/17 "2013-03-04T20:43:07Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > In some ways, it’d be the near-misses that would be as interesting as the women with whom I’ve actually had sex. 🙂 For their sakes, just turn on the light already. ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2013, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-important-to-the-story-of-your-life-who-you-had-sex-with/652027/18 "2013-03-04T20:43:08Z")
It would be if only to show that I’ve only been with two men sexually. My husband has only ever been with me. Makes for a relevent factoid about the dynamics of our relationship and lives. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2013, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-important-to-the-story-of-your-life-who-you-had-sex-with/652027/19 "2013-03-04T20:45:06Z")
> [@NitroPress](#): > > Well, how to put this… it wouldn’t add anything beyond titillation value to \*my \*life story to include one name, but it would have significant repercussions were it to be included in hers. Come on, man! You can’t throw that out there, and at least hint at who it was! ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2013, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-important-to-the-story-of-your-life-who-you-had-sex-with/652027/20 "2013-03-04T21:19:31Z")
> [@drastic\_quench](#): > > For their sakes, just turn on the light already. Snort! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-important-to-the-story-of-your-life-who-you-had-sex-with/652027.md?page=2)