# Is it inappropriate to ask a work colleague what their religion is? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 5, 2010, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-ask-a-work-colleague-what-their-religion-is/556180 "2010-10-05T22:06:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-ask-a-work-colleague-what-their-religion-is/556180/1 "2010-10-05T22:06:18Z")
A work colleague of mine was wondering (for various reasons unrelated to my question) what the religion of her new neighour is. I said, why don’t you just ask her? She thought it might be an intrusive question. I said that IMHO it wasn’t, and that I would be perfectly comfortable asking a co-worker about their religious beliefs. Another co-worker said it would be inappropriate in the workplace. So is it, or not? I assume there is more than one answer: the official, HR, work policy answer, and the “etiquette” answer. Would it depend on the type of employement you have? I’m not asking about what would be appropriate in a job interview, I’m asking about what would be appropriate to ask a work colleague of yours, someone who has already been hired. ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-ask-a-work-colleague-what-their-religion-is/556180/2 "2010-10-05T22:17:55Z")
I wouldn’t. ---
**Author:** ![redtail23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/3e96dc/32.png) [@redtail23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/redtail23)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-ask-a-work-colleague-what-their-religion-is/556180/3 "2010-10-05T22:24:05Z")
That’s something I would only ask if it were relevant - like we were having a conversation about something to do with religion. Even then I tend to acknowledge that it’s really none of my business. I know the religion of a few co-workers because of conversations we’ve had (usually starting with some current event and wandering from there). The vast majority I have no idea, nor do I care. I wouldn’t ask a neighbor unless I had some reason other than pure curiosity. I’d be somewhat put off if a neighbor asked my religion just out-of-the-blue. ---
**Author:** ![Chicken\_Fingers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Chicken\_Fingers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chicken_Fingers)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-ask-a-work-colleague-what-their-religion-is/556180/4 "2010-10-05T22:32:01Z")
I think it’s almost always inappropriate. ---
**Author:** ![missred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missred/32/14096_2.png) [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-ask-a-work-colleague-what-their-religion-is/556180/5 "2010-10-05T22:32:37Z")
I live at the buckle of the bible belt. Sooner or later, most of my Christian coworkers will make mention of it. It’s usually fairly obvious with the Muslims that I work with; their dress gives them away. The Buddhists are a bit trickier. Some of the Pagans wear jewelry or tats that indicate their beliefs. Even if none of the above gives me a clue, it’s none of my business. I don’t ask. ---
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-ask-a-work-colleague-what-their-religion-is/556180/6 "2010-10-05T22:36:30Z")
Since missred can practically see my house from her workplace, this answer is coming from the same Bible belt buckle, and it is a big HELL, NO. I hate it when people ask me, and I don’t ask them, either. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-ask-a-work-colleague-what-their-religion-is/556180/7 "2010-10-05T22:37:27Z")
If you are religious, you might try casually mentioning where you attend services or something very distinct about your own faith that could lead to them volunteering information. Or you could ask politeness hedge questions (i.e., would it offend you if . . . ?) ---
**Author:** ![Cunctator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/43a26b/32.png) [@Cunctator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cunctator)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-ask-a-work-colleague-what-their-religion-is/556180/8 "2010-10-05T22:44:21Z")
It seems a perfectly reasonable question to ask. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-ask-a-work-colleague-what-their-religion-is/556180/9 "2010-10-05T22:45:13Z")
Yes, unless you’re especially friendly with the person (as in, friends outside of work). Even then it could be inappropriate though depending on your relationship. ---
**Author:** ![Otara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a88e4f/32.png) [@Otara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otara)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-ask-a-work-colleague-what-their-religion-is/556180/10 "2010-10-05T22:48:57Z")
It should be a perfectly reasonable question to ask, but unfortunately the followup questions that occur tends to mean it isnt. ‘Dont talk about religion or politics’ exists as an etiquette rule for a reason. Otara ---
**Author:** ![Balthisar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/balthisar/32/2825_2.png) [@Balthisar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balthisar)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-ask-a-work-colleague-what-their-religion-is/556180/11 "2010-10-05T22:54:07Z")
We’re a multicultural workplace, and so it seems accepted that we ask the non-white guys what their religions are. I think there’s kind of taboo about asking other white guys, unless it naturally comes up. For the purposes of the previous statement, I include American black guys amongst the white guys, but not non-American black guys. ---
**Author:** ![Surly\_Chick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Surly\_Chick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surly_Chick)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-ask-a-work-colleague-what-their-religion-is/556180/12 "2010-10-05T22:54:57Z")
I don’t think I would ever ask but I wouldn’t be offended if someone asked me. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-ask-a-work-colleague-what-their-religion-is/556180/13 "2010-10-05T22:55:18Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > If you are religious, you might try casually mentioning where you attend services or something very distinct about your own faith that could lead to them volunteering information. Or you could ask politeness hedge questions (i.e., would it offend you if . . . ?) I concur. You can also pull it off if you notice something interesting about how they act or something they wear, etc. Talk about how cool it is, and, if it is religious, most people seem to volunteer that information. Whatever you do, try to seem positive and upbeat about it. That will often change something that is offensive into something that is merely annoying. What I mean is, it helps people realize that your intentions are good. ---
**Author:** ![Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carol_the_Impaler)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-ask-a-work-colleague-what-their-religion-is/556180/14 "2010-10-05T23:02:27Z")
IMO, the HR policy answer and the etiquette answer are the same. None of your business and inappropriate. I wouldn’t be thrilled to be asked that question and, absent appropriate context, would wonder what that has to do with anything. Actually, in Omaha, it’s common to be asked what (Catholic) parish you were raised in. Presumes I’m Catholic and attempts to orient me to what kind of money/class I come from (because parish indicates what part of town you were raised in). ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-ask-a-work-colleague-what-their-religion-is/556180/15 "2010-10-05T23:06:53Z")
> [@Balthisar](#): > > We’re a multicultural workplace, and so it seems accepted that we ask the non-white guys what their religions are. I think there’s kind of taboo about asking other white guys, unless it naturally comes up. For the purposes of the previous statement, I include American black guys amongst the white guys, but not non-American black guys. Why is it okay to ask the non-white guys and not the white guys? I seem to be missing some subtle something. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-ask-a-work-colleague-what-their-religion-is/556180/16 "2010-10-05T23:07:58Z")
Yes, but not at work. If you have established a friendship with the person that has extended outside the workplace, ask under those conditions. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-ask-a-work-colleague-what-their-religion-is/556180/17 "2010-10-05T23:09:55Z")
> [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](#): > > Why is it okay to ask the non-white guys and not the white guys? I seem to be missing some subtle something. Assuming the person with that stricture is himself/herself white, I would guess it’s because asking the question of non-white persons might be seen as a coded “Are you a Muslim/Hindu/Ba’hai/something else distressing?” ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-ask-a-work-colleague-what-their-religion-is/556180/18 "2010-10-05T23:31:47Z")
\*\*Is it inappropriate to ask a work colleague what their religion is? \*\* Yes. Incredibly so. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-ask-a-work-colleague-what-their-religion-is/556180/19 "2010-10-05T23:34:34Z")
Very inappropriate, unless the coworker happens to be talking about his/her religious practices, then it’s all right to politely inquire. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-ask-a-work-colleague-what-their-religion-is/556180/20 "2010-10-05T23:35:54Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > Very inappropriate, unless the coworker happens to be talking about his/her religious practices, then it’s all right to politely inquire. Or if the coworker is discussion a religion that happens to involve human sacrifice and has just asked you if you are a virgin or can vouch for anyone else’s virginity. then you pretty much have to. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-ask-a-work-colleague-what-their-religion-is/556180.md?page=2)