# Is it inappropriate to ask a work colleague what their religion is? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 5, 2010, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-ask-a-work-colleague-what-their-religion-is/556180 "2010-10-05T22:06:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-ask-a-work-colleague-what-their-religion-is/556180/41 "2010-10-06T11:36:34Z")
What I don’t get here is all the answers that are based on them finding out your religion. If you are not wanting to share it, why would they know? If they ask, and you don’t want to answer, then you can just not answer. It’s not impolite to say something like “I don’t like to discuss my beliefs at work” or whatever. And I seriously doubt Arnold would be the type to badger someone who obviously doesn’t want to tell. Getting offended by a question because you don’t want to answer it seems silly to me. But, as I said above, the way around it is to not directly ask. BTW, Arnold, for some reason I was under the impression you were (originally) French, not Swiss. I bring it up because of the stereotypical secularism of France, and I could imagine asking someone about their religion being no big deal there. All I know about Switzerland is how to find it on a map. ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-ask-a-work-colleague-what-their-religion-is/556180/42 "2010-10-06T11:42:39Z")
> [@missred](#): > > I live at the buckle of the bible belt. Sooner or later, most of my Christian coworkers will make mention of it. It’s usually fairly obvious with the Muslims that I work with; their dress gives them away. The Buddhists are a bit trickier. Some of the Pagans wear jewelry or tats that indicate their beliefs. Even if none of the above gives me a clue, it’s none of my business. I don’t ask. Muslim dress gives it away? How so? ---
**Author:** ![Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superfluous_Parentheses)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-ask-a-work-colleague-what-their-religion-is/556180/43 "2010-10-06T12:12:39Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > What I don’t get here is all the answers that are based on them finding out your religion. If you are not wanting to share it, why would they know? Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t see how it’s a relevant question to ask a colleague. In a social setting, say, you’re going for drinks or something after work, I wouldn’t mind much. But I’d be suspicious of anyone who’d wanted to know about my religious beliefs just because we’re coworkers. I don’t hide my atheism, but I don’t take it to work either. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-ask-a-work-colleague-what-their-religion-is/556180/44 "2010-10-06T12:17:22Z")
You have to know them pretty well for the question to come out of the blue, unless they are the type to put Bible quotes on the bottom of their email, in which case I think its fair to say they are open for the “which church do you attend?” question. It really isn’t a matter for casual curiosity. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-ask-a-work-colleague-what-their-religion-is/556180/45 "2010-10-06T12:20:49Z")
Assuming it is just part of a casual conversation, it seems fine to me. I don’t see why the subject is necessarily so touchy. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Balthisar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/balthisar/32/2825_2.png) [@Balthisar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balthisar)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-ask-a-work-colleague-what-their-religion-is/556180/46 "2010-10-06T12:47:48Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > So why, do you in the US, care so much about the religious status of your elected officials? > > It seems to me that you’re less open to asking about coworkers than the rest of the world, and more fanatical about the beliefs of your politicians. I’m not certain that the real majority _does_ care. But there’s a sizeable amount of the population _so far_ on the right that it gives us normal people on the right a bad reputation, and they’re the ones that typically care. So of course politicians on the far right have to pander to them, the normal right usually has to pander to the them, and lots of politicians on the left have to pander to them on the off-chance that one of two of them might vote for the left candidate. > [@Shodan](#): > > Assuming it is just part of a casual conversation, it seems fine to me. > > I don’t see why the subject is necessarily so touchy. Yeah, ^ this. Am I wrong in assuming that we’re talking about casual conversations, or all of you guys assuming that we’d walk up to someone out of the blue and ask, “Hey, you, what’s your religion?”? ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-ask-a-work-colleague-what-their-religion-is/556180/47 "2010-10-06T13:02:04Z")
I always ask because Xenu demands it. It’s a crime against Ron to refuse to answer. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-ask-a-work-colleague-what-their-religion-is/556180/48 "2010-10-06T13:12:29Z")
The case in the OP sounded like an encouragement to just go ask the coworker out if the blue. I occasionally find myself wondering what religions the vaccine-refusing workers at my hospital are, that they’d place belief over the health/lives of immunocompromised patients, but I don’t know of any and wouldn’t say anything unless someone said that it was their religious belief. At the last job I worked at, there was a lot of “Praise Jesus” being said so frequently and fervently, to the point where I’d expect you’d instead be asked what (assumed Christian) church you went to, and discovering anything outside of the expected responses would cause shock and dismay. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-ask-a-work-colleague-what-their-religion-is/556180/49 "2010-10-06T13:27:06Z")
Why do you want to know? That’s what I’d wonder. Why is it important? If it was important, you’d know already. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-ask-a-work-colleague-what-their-religion-is/556180/50 "2010-10-06T13:31:26Z")
> [@Balthisar](#): > > I think there’s kind of taboo about asking other white guys, unless it naturally comes up. For the purposes of the previous statement, I include American black guys amongst the white guys, but not non-American black guys. We have officially reached the bottom of the rabbit hole. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-ask-a-work-colleague-what-their-religion-is/556180/51 "2010-10-06T13:35:20Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Why do you want to know? That’s what I’d wonder. > > Why is it important? If it was important, you’d know already. ding ding ding. This, exactly. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-ask-a-work-colleague-what-their-religion-is/556180/52 "2010-10-06T13:37:26Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Why do you want to know? That’s what I’d wonder. > > Why is it important? If it was important, you’d know already. Maybe not - I have a couple coworkers who are Muslim, something I didn’t bother to find out until we had to start planning meals to be brought in and working project plans around religious holidays I’m not terribly familiar with. Now, there isn’t a huge reason to know why they needed to take a day off a few weeks ago (Eid) but when three of your team members take the same day off - sometimes its just easier to know “oh, that’s a day that some of my team are likely to be gone.” (As well as by the end of Ramadan, I have some exhausted team members that I try and be a little sensitive to.). ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-ask-a-work-colleague-what-their-religion-is/556180/53 "2010-10-06T13:42:19Z")
> [@missred](#): > > I live at the buckle of the bible belt. Sooner or later, most of my Christian coworkers will make mention of it. It’s usually fairly obvious with the Muslims that I work with; their dress gives them away. The Buddhists are a bit trickier. Some of the Pagans wear jewelry or tats that indicate their beliefs. Even if none of the above gives me a clue, it’s none of my business. I don’t ask. > [@Brynda](#): > > Since missred can practically see my house from her workplace, this answer is coming from the same Bible belt buckle, and it is a big HELL, NO. I hate it when people ask me, and I don’t ask them, either. I live in the same buckle and the more common question is not “what religion are you?” but “where do you go to church?” But I don’t think it’s appropriate to bring up, out of the blue. I don’t think it’s taboo to _talk_ about religion, but I think you need an opening beyond idle curiosity because if they’re non-religious, they might take offense at the assumption that they are religious at all. But if they are wearing a headscarf or turban or have distinctive tattoos or jewelry I think it’s fine to ask them about that. If it for a religious purpose and they’re comfortable talking about it they’ll let you know. ---
**Author:** ![Balthisar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/balthisar/32/2825_2.png) [@Balthisar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balthisar)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-ask-a-work-colleague-what-their-religion-is/556180/54 "2010-10-06T13:57:37Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > > [@Balthisar](#): > > > > I think there’s kind of taboo about asking other white guys, unless it naturally comes up. For the purposes of the previous statement, I include American black guys amongst the white guys, but not non-American black guys. > > We have officially reached the bottom of the rabbit hole. Oh, and I forgot to add that for the purposes of that whole paragraph, I was including women amongst the guys. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-ask-a-work-colleague-what-their-religion-is/556180/55 "2010-10-06T14:03:44Z")
> [@Balthisar](#): > > > [@Contrapuntal](#): > > > > We have officially reached the bottom of the rabbit hole. > > Oh, and I forgot to add that for the purposes of that whole paragraph, I was including women amongst the guys. All the gringos do tend to stick together. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-ask-a-work-colleague-what-their-religion-is/556180/56 "2010-10-06T14:08:08Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > > [@Anaamika](#): > > > > Why do you want to know? That’s what I’d wonder. > > > > Why is it important? If it was important, you’d know already. > > Maybe not - I have a couple coworkers who are Muslim, something I didn’t bother to find out until we had to start planning meals to be brought in and working project plans around religious holidays I’m not terribly familiar with. Now, there isn’t a huge reason to know why they needed to take a day off a few weeks ago (Eid) but when three of your team members take the same day off - sometimes its just easier to know “oh, that’s a day that some of my team are likely to be gone.” (As well as by the end of Ramadan, I have some exhausted team members that I try and be a little sensitive to.). That is their responsibility to tell you, and quite frankly, they should have. See? This is a perfectly legit reason. Like when we were having a farewell lunch for someone, told him about it, and he didn’t bother to mention he was fasting for Ramadan. His boss should have been a bit more aware, knowing he was muslim, but honestly, sometimes we just dont’ think about it! He should have said something. I still want to know why the OP’s wife wants to know, though. Because I never take extra days off for religious holidays - whatever I get for Xmas, etc., is sufficient. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-ask-a-work-colleague-what-their-religion-is/556180/57 "2010-10-06T14:11:20Z")
If it involves potential discriminatory action, it’s probably not appropriate to ask. ---
**Author:** ![Desert\_Nomad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desert_nomad/32/177_2.png) [@Desert\_Nomad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Desert_Nomad)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-ask-a-work-colleague-what-their-religion-is/556180/58 "2010-10-06T14:12:38Z")
> [@AK84](#): > > > [@missred](#): > > > > I live at the buckle of the bible belt. Sooner or later, most of my Christian coworkers will make mention of it. It’s usually fairly obvious with the Muslims that I work with; their dress gives them away. The Buddhists are a bit trickier. Some of the Pagans wear jewelry or tats that indicate their beliefs. Even if none of the above gives me a clue, it’s none of my business. I don’t ask. > > Muslim dress gives it away? > > How so? My thoughts exactly. I am Muslim and currently wearing blue jeans and a T-shirt from a university in Lebanon. With my blonde hair and blue eyes, I doubt you’d assume I was Muslim. ---
**Author:** ![Glory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7cd45c/32.png) [@Glory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glory)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-ask-a-work-colleague-what-their-religion-is/556180/59 "2010-10-06T14:23:02Z")
Always inappropriate. In the case of catered lunches, the right question would be “do you have any preferences.” ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-ask-a-work-colleague-what-their-religion-is/556180/60 "2010-10-06T14:25:37Z")
> [@Desert\_Nomad](#): > > > [@AK84](#): > > > > Muslim dress gives it away? > > > > How so? > > My thoughts exactly. I am Muslim and currently wearing blue jeans and a T-shirt from a university in Lebanon. With my blonde hair and blue eyes, I doubt you’d assume I was Muslim. Not to mention I have been thought of as Muslim because of my dress and I most definitely am not. I don’t cover my head, so I’m not sure how they thought of it, just because I have worn a salwar kameez is not a good enough reason! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-ask-a-work-colleague-what-their-religion-is/556180.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-ask-a-work-colleague-what-their-religion-is/556180.md?page=4)