# Is it inappropriate to use the f-word when you miss a 3-foot putt playing with a mixed foursome? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 27, 2012, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-use-the-f-word-when-you-miss-a-3-foot-putt-playing-with-a-mixed-foursome/632777 "2012-08-27T01:50:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-use-the-f-word-when-you-miss-a-3-foot-putt-playing-with-a-mixed-foursome/632777/21 "2012-08-27T17:19:01Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > What one person describes as being “honest about your emotions”, someone else might see as “throwing a tantrum”. Yeah, now that I pay closer attention to this rationalization, it totally falls through. There’s no need to be honest about your emotions to a group you’re playing golf with. If you miss a shot, they know how you’re feeling. If you make a shot, they know how you’re feeling. It’s no great mystery; they don’t require any mindreading powers beyond the basic empathy module we’ve mostly all got. (If you’re playing with a sociopath, it may be helpful for you to explain: “I feel sad and angry when I miss a shot, and now I am sad and angry”). If you want to respect your group, respect them enough to assume they’ll know what any three-year-old could figure out. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-use-the-f-word-when-you-miss-a-3-foot-putt-playing-with-a-mixed-foursome/632777/22 "2012-08-27T17:22:04Z")
Well, did you miss it to the right or to the left? ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Doom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Dr\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Doom)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-use-the-f-word-when-you-miss-a-3-foot-putt-playing-with-a-mixed-foursome/632777/23 "2012-08-27T17:23:24Z")
> [@TokyoBayer](#): > > If you miss a three-foot putt, anything short of flinging your putter into the lake is a remarkable show of control over your emotions. > > Anyone who doesn’t understand that shouldn’t be golfing. > > Fuck. This. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-use-the-f-word-when-you-miss-a-3-foot-putt-playing-with-a-mixed-foursome/632777/24 "2012-08-27T17:23:50Z")
Yeah, depends on the 4-some. You could get away with saying ‘fuck’, depending on the context, too. Acceptable: Miss a short putt, look up at the sky, drop the putter and say ‘Fuuuuuuuck.’ Unacceptable: While walking off the green following said missed putt, asking your buddy’s wife if she wants to get together after the round and fuck. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Doom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Dr\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Doom)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-use-the-f-word-when-you-miss-a-3-foot-putt-playing-with-a-mixed-foursome/632777/25 "2012-08-27T17:25:55Z")
> [@denquixote](#): > > Were these women your SO and M-I-L? Probably better to wait and let them curse first. Alternatively you could just learn how to putt or maybe act like an adult when you miss one. Where is the handbook to which one may refer, as regards the proper behaviour of an adult? I sorely need one of those fuckers. ---
**Author:** ![Baracus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/2bfe46/32.png) [@Baracus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baracus)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-use-the-f-word-when-you-miss-a-3-foot-putt-playing-with-a-mixed-foursome/632777/26 "2012-08-27T17:51:59Z")
> [@Dr\_Doom](#): > > Where is the handbook to which one may refer, as regards the proper behaviour of an adult? Fuck if I know. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-use-the-f-word-when-you-miss-a-3-foot-putt-playing-with-a-mixed-foursome/632777/27 "2012-08-27T19:07:21Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > \ > 3. It’s not just about you and your group. If there was a family with kids close enough to overhear you, watch your language for their sake even if you don’t know them. If kids aren’t going to learn bad language on a golf course, where the hell _are_ they going to learn it?!? ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-use-the-f-word-when-you-miss-a-3-foot-putt-playing-with-a-mixed-foursome/632777/28 "2012-08-27T19:08:09Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > If kids aren’t going to learn bad language on a golf course, where the hell _are_ they going to learn it?!? _golf clap_ ---
**Author:** ![Arrendajo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Arrendajo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arrendajo)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-use-the-f-word-when-you-miss-a-3-foot-putt-playing-with-a-mixed-foursome/632777/29 "2012-08-27T19:22:39Z")
If you knew the other players would be offended by your expletive, would you still believe it respectful to deliberately offend them? Is saying “fuck” the only way you can be emotionally honest? It sounds like you need to expand your repertoire. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-use-the-f-word-when-you-miss-a-3-foot-putt-playing-with-a-mixed-foursome/632777/30 "2012-08-27T19:43:51Z")
If one of the females in the foursome says it first, then it’s ok. Otherwise, no. ---
**Author:** ![pancakes3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba9def/32.png) [@pancakes3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pancakes3)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-use-the-f-word-when-you-miss-a-3-foot-putt-playing-with-a-mixed-foursome/632777/31 "2012-08-27T20:05:40Z")
Drop it if you want. Either way, you’ll set expectations for yourself as the guy/girl who does/doesn’t drop fbombs while missing a 3 foot putt. Depends on if you want to be “that guy/girl” or not. Personally I don’t curse a lot when playing sports. If I rim out a putt or blow a layup the most upset I get is a “dangit”. Same for watching sports. However if I blow past an exit on the highway or hit something with the mower, a low but prolonged and pronounced “fuuuuuuuuuuuck” usually ensues. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-use-the-f-word-when-you-miss-a-3-foot-putt-playing-with-a-mixed-foursome/632777/32 "2012-08-27T20:20:24Z")
If you have to yell “Fore” on the green, you’re doing something wrong. ---
**Author:** ![perfectparanoia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a5b964/32.png) [@perfectparanoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/perfectparanoia)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-use-the-f-word-when-you-miss-a-3-foot-putt-playing-with-a-mixed-foursome/632777/33 "2012-08-27T20:22:04Z")
I will agree with the majority and say ‘it depends.’ However, usually when I object to people using foul language (which is rare since I am, myeslf, a potty mouth), it is because the person has lost their shit not because of the language involved. For example, when I coached tenpin bowling, if a kid kicked the return or threw something out of frustration, I explained that it was inappropriate. The second time they were done for the day. Some coaches put up with it but, to me, sportsmanship and everyone’s enjoyment of the game is important (and throwing what amounts to a temper tantrum when you are above kindergarten is inappropriate). Is it possible that you lost your shit as well as cursing? ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Doom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Dr\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Doom)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-use-the-f-word-when-you-miss-a-3-foot-putt-playing-with-a-mixed-foursome/632777/34 "2012-08-27T20:23:16Z")
I highly doubt I am the only person to have heard of a pastime affectionately, and aptly, called “Whack-Fuck”. ---
**Author:** ![Eureka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/74df32/32.png) [@Eureka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eureka)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-use-the-f-word-when-you-miss-a-3-foot-putt-playing-with-a-mixed-foursome/632777/35 "2012-08-27T21:17:03Z")
A similar topic came up on Sunday in the Sermon I listened to. According to the guy preaching, if you are a retired pastor, playing golf with other retired pastors, using words like the f-word is inappropriate, embarassing, and entirely reflexive. The infuriating part is that you can’t even apologize for poor sportsmanship or bad language, because your opponents will be crying from laughter, between the missed putt, the bad language, and your self-evident frustration. ---
**Author:** ![Shark\_Sandwich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Shark\_Sandwich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shark_Sandwich)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-use-the-f-word-when-you-miss-a-3-foot-putt-playing-with-a-mixed-foursome/632777/36 "2012-08-27T21:20:43Z")
Putting for double-bogey? No. Birdie? Yes. Eagle? FUCK yes. ---
**Author:** ![Eureka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/74df32/32.png) [@Eureka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eureka)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-use-the-f-word-when-you-miss-a-3-foot-putt-playing-with-a-mixed-foursome/632777/37 "2012-08-27T21:20:56Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > If kids aren’t going to learn bad language on a golf course, where the hell _are_ they going to learn it?!? I don’t know–but they are not supposed to learn bad language while visiting Mammoth Cave. Much better to learn from Aunt Eureka. (Dinner table discussion: people with southern or Hillbilly accents–like my co-worker who says “Hailfire and Damnations” when she misses a 3-foot putt or in similarly frustrating work situations.) ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2012, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-use-the-f-word-when-you-miss-a-3-foot-putt-playing-with-a-mixed-foursome/632777/38 "2012-08-28T14:33:19Z")
If you have to ask you probably already know it’s inappropriate. Yeah freedom of speech is a wonderful thing but civility and class are great too. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2012, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-use-the-f-word-when-you-miss-a-3-foot-putt-playing-with-a-mixed-foursome/632777/39 "2012-08-28T15:00:24Z")
Reading everyone else’s response is helping convince me that it depends on the circumstances. So, after your missed putt, if you leave the ball at a greater distance to the hole, with a downhill lie on fast grass, there _never_ is an inappropriate time to say fuck. ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2012, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-use-the-f-word-when-you-miss-a-3-foot-putt-playing-with-a-mixed-foursome/632777/40 "2012-08-28T17:33:08Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Yeah, now that I pay closer attention to this rationalization, it totally falls through. There’s no need to be honest about your emotions to a group you’re playing golf with. If you miss a shot, they know how you’re feeling. If you make a shot, they know how you’re feeling. It’s no great mystery; they don’t require any mindreading powers beyond the basic empathy module we’ve mostly all got. (If you’re playing with a sociopath, it may be helpful for you to explain: “I feel sad and angry when I miss a shot, and now I am sad and angry”). If you want to respect your group, respect them enough to assume they’ll know what any three-year-old could figure out. Totally seconded. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-use-the-f-word-when-you-miss-a-3-foot-putt-playing-with-a-mixed-foursome/632777.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-inappropriate-to-use-the-f-word-when-you-miss-a-3-foot-putt-playing-with-a-mixed-foursome/632777.md?page=3)