# Is it just me, or does "Teemings" really suck ass?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-just-me-or-does-teemings-really-suck-ass/36126>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [October 8, 2000, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-just-me-or-does-teemings-really-suck-ass/36126 "2000-10-08T05:27:26Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 4

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**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\
**Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 8:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-just-me-or-does-teemings-really-suck-ass/36126/61 "2000-10-10T08:47:13Z")

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I just wonder what excellently thought-out report he’ll have for the next issue. Perhaps recipes on how to make biscuits using one’s own semen? Possibly even tips on how to woo bovines? Boy, whatever it is, it _shoooore_ must be smart… remember, he gets paid the big bucks for stuff like that.

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**Author:** ![theuglytruth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@theuglytruth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/theuglytruth)\
**Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-just-me-or-does-teemings-really-suck-ass/36126/62 "2000-10-10T17:49:20Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by David B \*  
> \*\*Nope, sorry. If he wants to post it here, he can. We’re not going to do it for him just because he’s (rightly) afraid it will get torn to shreds if posted on a message board rather than on a 'zine website. \*\*

That’s it. This morning I woke up in an unusually benevolent mood, and since I felt kind of bad that MAYBE a few of my comments on this thread might have been taken the wrong way, I was going to give ALL of you a special treat:

I was going to post my article.

And, I was even going to do it for FREE!

But, if this is going to be your attitude, and now that my No-Doz is wearing off, I’m back in my usual bad mood and I won’t do it now.

If you Dopers want to see my article, you have to prove to me that you deserve it.

So get on your knees in front of your computers RIGHT NOW . . .

AND BEG!!! BEG LIKE THE DOGS THAT YOU ARE!!!

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**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\
**Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-just-me-or-does-teemings-really-suck-ass/36126/63 "2000-10-10T17:52:35Z")

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yawn

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**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\
**Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-just-me-or-does-teemings-really-suck-ass/36126/64 "2000-10-10T18:22:23Z")

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So Leiberman spoke at the Human Rights Campaign dinner the other night and says he and Gore are committed to the Employment Non-Discrimination Act. Still, nothing on same-sex marriages.

Thoughts?

Esprix

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**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\
**Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-just-me-or-does-teemings-really-suck-ass/36126/65 "2000-10-10T18:27:05Z")

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Gee, I feel kind of guilty now.

I think at thist point it would probably be in his best interests if he paid David and I $1000 (each) just for the honor of publishing the dratted thing.

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**Author:** ![Archer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85f322/32.png) [@Archer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Archer)\
**Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-just-me-or-does-teemings-really-suck-ass/36126/66 "2000-10-10T18:48:08Z")

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Dang TUT! You have hurt all of our feelings! We can’t cope with this type of abuse from a superior life force.

Put up or shut up, post it, putz!!!

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**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\
**Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-just-me-or-does-teemings-really-suck-ass/36126/67 "2000-10-10T18:58:28Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by theuglytruth \*  
> \*\*So get on your knees in front of your computers RIGHT NOW . . .
> 
> AND BEG!!! BEG LIKE THE DOGS THAT YOU ARE!!! \*\*

Ok.

::gets down on knees:

I’m begging.  
PLEASE,  
PUH-LEAAAAAASE,

Please, **stop acting like a fucking dolt.**

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**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\
**Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-just-me-or-does-teemings-really-suck-ass/36126/68 "2000-10-10T19:07:59Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Esprix \*  
> \*\*So Leiberman spoke at the Human Rights Campaign dinner the other night and says he and Gore are committed to the Employment Non-Discrimination Act. Still, nothing on same-sex marriages.
> 
> Thoughts?
> 
> Esprix \*\*

\

I don’t believe the federal government has any constitutional authority to create or enforce marriage laws. Why would we want the gov’t to create more burdensome legislation? _Laissez-faire_, baby.

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**Author:** ![theuglytruth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@theuglytruth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/theuglytruth)\
**Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-just-me-or-does-teemings-really-suck-ass/36126/69 "2000-10-10T19:26:49Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Archer \*  
> \*\*Dang TUT! You have hurt all of our feelings! We can’t cope with this type of abuse from a superior life force.
> 
> Put up or shut up, post it, putz!!! \*\*

That’s not quite what I had in mind.

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**Author:** ![theuglytruth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@theuglytruth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/theuglytruth)\
**Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-just-me-or-does-teemings-really-suck-ass/36126/70 "2000-10-10T19:30:25Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by mouthbreather \*  
> \*\*
> 
> > [@](#):
> >
> > \*Originally posted by theuglytruth \*  
> > \*\*So get on your knees in front of your computers RIGHT NOW . . .
> > 
> > AND BEG!!! BEG LIKE THE DOGS THAT YOU ARE!!! \*\*
> 
> Ok.
> 
> ::gets down on knees:
> 
> I’m begging.  
> PLEASE,  
> PUH-LEAAAAAASE,
> 
> Please, **stop acting like a fucking dolt.** \*\*

No NO you people have it all wrong! That’s NOT what I meant by begging!

Fools!

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**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\
**Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-just-me-or-does-teemings-really-suck-ass/36126/71 "2000-10-10T19:47:07Z")

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What prompts people to act like this? Is it the anominity of the internet? would they be acting like this in real life? Why does he keep trying to provoke people, and why do they keep falling for it? What set off this apparent trollish behavior? I’m really quite curious. what makes otherwise sane people go off like this?

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**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\
**Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-just-me-or-does-teemings-really-suck-ass/36126/72 "2000-10-10T19:51:49Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by oldscratch \*  
> \*\*What makes otherwise sane people go off like this? \*\*

I really haven’t seen any evidence that he’s “otherwise sane.”

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**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\
**Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-just-me-or-does-teemings-really-suck-ass/36126/73 "2000-10-10T19:58:51Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> I don’t believe the federal government has any constitutional authority to create or enforce marriage laws.

Well, the Supremes disagree with you, **ChiefW**. The decision in _Loving v Virginia_ in 1967 was that state laws banning interracial marriage were in violation of the 14th amendment protections of equal protection and due process. From Warren’s opinion:

> [@](#):
>
> There can be no doubt that restricting the freedom to marry solely because of racial classifications violates the central meaning of the Equal Protection Clause.

Now, many people will argue that this ruling, and others like it, does not hold for homosexual marriage. Others look at the first section of the 14th and wonder why the legal contract of marriage is not considered a “privilege” or a liberty:

> [@](#):
>
> No state shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any state deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws

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**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\
**Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-just-me-or-does-teemings-really-suck-ass/36126/74 "2000-10-10T23:42:16Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> state laws banning interracial marriage were in violation of the 14th amendment protections of equal protection and due process.

Personally, I don’t believe there should be any laws restricting the actual process of getting married at all. I mean, as had been vehemently pointed out, marriage is a “time-honored” tradition, and traditions, IMOSHO, shouldn’t be regulated by law.

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**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\
**Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-just-me-or-does-teemings-really-suck-ass/36126/75 "2000-10-11T00:02:08Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by theuglytruth \*  
> \*\*That’s not quite what I had in mind. \*\*

Well, you aren’t exactly what we had in mind either. Buh-Bye now, dumb troll.

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**Author:** ![David\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/51bf81/32.png) [@David\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/David_B)\
**Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-just-me-or-does-teemings-really-suck-ass/36126/76 "2000-10-11T00:26:22Z")

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theuglywhiner said:

> [@](#):
>
> That’s not quite what I had in mind.

From what we’ve seen, you pretty much have _nothing_ in there…

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**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\
**Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-just-me-or-does-teemings-really-suck-ass/36126/77 "2000-10-11T02:34:05Z")

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Between the “sissypants”, the little red pillow fisties, and Coldie’s bjornified Yankee-go-home rant, this is the funniest pit thread I’ve ever read.

TUT my man, if nothing else, you’ve inspired some great humor at your expense.

I’m dyin’ over here.

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**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\
**Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-just-me-or-does-teemings-really-suck-ass/36126/78 "2000-10-11T04:13:40Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Esprix \*  
> \*\*So Leiberman spoke at the Human Rights Campaign dinner the other night and says he and Gore are committed to the Employment Non-Discrimination Act. Still, nothing on same-sex marriages.
> 
> Thoughts?
> 
> Esprix \*\*

That Paragon of Journalism, “USA Today”, had an article claiming that gay organizations were praising Cheney’s “very tolerant, accepting, and understanding” position on gay and lesbian rights and issues. I can’t find the article since I left my paper in the Atlanta airport in Concourse “D” by the Starbuck’s, nearby a man who was talking into his headset cell phone.

And did you ever notice when people use the earpiece and micropone-type cell phone headsets, they appear to be wandering around talking to no one, sorta like Rainman? Well, Rainman bothered me for at least 2 hours in the gate area.

If anyone finds my paper in Atlanta, can they mail it to me?  
🙂

And I’ve used the word “Paragon” at least twice in this thread now.

Have we hijacked this enough yet? 😃

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**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\
**Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-just-me-or-does-teemings-really-suck-ass/36126/79 "2000-10-11T04:19:47Z")

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**TheUglyTruth** , are you trying to win the coveted “Biggest Idiocy Quotient in a Single Thread” award? Your technique is excellent, and will be talked about for years to come. We’ll call it **TheUglyStrategy** :

1. In your OP, criticize the intelligence and work of others, while citing your own brilliance. If possible, provide a shining counter-example of said brilliance.

2. As various Pit posters strive to outdo each other in wittily mocking you, pretend you meant the whole thing as a joke, and everyone else is foolish for having been taken by it. Then simultaneously try to blame your stupidity on the fact that you’re too busy being cool to know things.

3. Let simmer for a few hours, until sufficient humorous commentary has ensued, at your expense.

4. Answer every single post individually, with clever bon mots ranging from “oh yeah?” to “nuh UH!” Occasionally slam people with a scathing “YOU are!”

5. If necessary, repeat steps 3 and 4.

Bravo! Bravo! You’ve truly set a new standard for, um, excellence. Take a bow. Backwards. Until your head touches your heels.

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**Author:** ![Byzantine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dfb087/32.png) [@Byzantine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Byzantine)\
**Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-just-me-or-does-teemings-really-suck-ass/36126/80 "2000-10-11T23:40:58Z")

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In the childish spirit of the OP let me just say, “I got published and you didn’t! Na na na na na!”

[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-just-me-or-does-teemings-really-suck-ass/36126.md?page=3)
