# Is it morally wrong to think of a friends spouse/significant other naked? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 13, 2021, 10:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-morally-wrong-to-think-of-a-friends-spouse-significant-other-naked/930431 "2021-01-13T10:01:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2021, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-morally-wrong-to-think-of-a-friends-spouse-significant-other-naked/930431/21 "2021-01-13T16:34:31Z")
> [@gnoitall](#): > > Your avatar is naked. And glistening. - > > And a hippo. 🤷‍♂️ > > Back to the original question, I don’t think “morally wrong” maps well to “offensive to the insecure and easily triggered”. You can’t see the very back end. Maybe it’s wearing a thong. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2021, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-morally-wrong-to-think-of-a-friends-spouse-significant-other-naked/930431/22 "2021-01-13T17:15:23Z")
Not exactly the same thing, but in college, going for a Fine Arts degree in pursuit of a graphic design career, there was a girl in one of my classes that I would often imagine naked. The arts program held after-class life drawing practice sessions once or twice a week for people who wanted extra practice with their life drawing skills. Anyone could volunteer as a model, artists who showed up were charged $5, and the money collected was used to pay the model. Since I was taking a life drawing class, enjoyed it and wanted to get better at it, I attended several of these pick-up sessions. In one class the girl who I had imagined naked was the volunteer model. After that I’d imagine what it would be like to have millions of dollars, but that never materialized (yet). ---
**Author:** ![Fotheringay-Phipps](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d9b06d/32.png) [@Fotheringay-Phipps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fotheringay-Phipps)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2021, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-morally-wrong-to-think-of-a-friends-spouse-significant-other-naked/930431/23 "2021-01-13T17:23:19Z")
Leaving aside any moral issues in thinking of friends’ spouses naked, it might not be a good idea for practical reasons, in that it has the potential to lead to stronger feelings or worse, and complicate life and relationships considerably. While this doesn’t address the OP’s question, I would disagree with the position of many posters in this thread who seem to be saying that “everyone does it”. I think quite a lot of people deliberately refrain from thinking thoughts along those lines (or squelch any which might arise), for such reasons. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2021, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-morally-wrong-to-think-of-a-friends-spouse-significant-other-naked/930431/24 "2021-01-13T17:28:26Z")
Is “thinking of someone naked” a euphemism for something like having sex with them? Or are people actually just picturing these people sitting around naked? ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2021, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-morally-wrong-to-think-of-a-friends-spouse-significant-other-naked/930431/25 "2021-01-13T17:30:53Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > Is “thinking of someone naked” a euphemism for something like having sex with them? Or are people actually just picturing these people sitting around naked? - Sometimes they’re doing aerobics. ---
**Author:** ![Asuka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dec6dc/32.png) [@Asuka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asuka)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2021, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-morally-wrong-to-think-of-a-friends-spouse-significant-other-naked/930431/26 "2021-01-13T17:33:24Z")
I mean when I do it usually I’m absentmindedly thinking “I wonder how big her breasts really are” or “I wonder if she shaves down there” and I briefly imagine what it would look like under their clothes. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2021, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-morally-wrong-to-think-of-a-friends-spouse-significant-other-naked/930431/27 "2021-01-13T17:37:41Z")
Why would it be wrong to think about other people when I’m naked? ---
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2021, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-morally-wrong-to-think-of-a-friends-spouse-significant-other-naked/930431/28 "2021-01-13T17:39:59Z")
The corrct answer is … “well, i _didn’t_ 'til you mentioned it…” ---
**Author:** ![Baal\_Houtham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baal_houtham/32/13604_2.png) [@Baal\_Houtham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baal_Houtham)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2021, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-morally-wrong-to-think-of-a-friends-spouse-significant-other-naked/930431/29 "2021-01-13T17:43:45Z")
Best way to handle that is to quickly point at the players one by one and say Yes, No, No, Yes, Yes, Yes. Or…Yes, but only from the neck up. ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2021, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-morally-wrong-to-think-of-a-friends-spouse-significant-other-naked/930431/30 "2021-01-13T17:49:26Z")
Yes, but always with black bars across their naughty bits. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2021, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-morally-wrong-to-think-of-a-friends-spouse-significant-other-naked/930431/31 "2021-01-13T18:02:04Z")
> [@Machine\_Elf](#): > > Your friends are very weird. I’m pretty sure the only mature adult who doesn’t think of things like that is one with no imagination whatsoever. Gotta admit, I think of my friends naked a lot more than I think of their spouses naked. I usually know my friends a lot better than I know their spouses. (And while I suppose I have had the fleeting thought, “what would he look like without those clothes?”, it’s not really something I think about often. Maybe I lack imagination.) ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2021, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-morally-wrong-to-think-of-a-friends-spouse-significant-other-naked/930431/32 "2021-01-13T18:02:46Z")
Not if your friend is married to Alyson Hannigan. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2021, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-morally-wrong-to-think-of-a-friends-spouse-significant-other-naked/930431/33 "2021-01-13T18:05:36Z")
> [@Asuka](#): > > “Have you ever thought of someone’s in the room’s spouse naked?” It occurs to me that the answer to this question must be _yes_ if you have thought of your _own_ spouse naked. ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2021, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-morally-wrong-to-think-of-a-friends-spouse-significant-other-naked/930431/34 "2021-01-13T18:07:25Z")
When I think of “morally wrong”, I think first of consequences. As I see it, there’s no sin in thinking what you want, but if speaking the thought would cause unnecessary discord or disturbance, then it’s a sin to say it. That’s where OP went wrong. NB: I’m agnostic and I use “sin” as shorthand for “morally wrong”, not as relates to any holy book. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2021, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-morally-wrong-to-think-of-a-friends-spouse-significant-other-naked/930431/35 "2021-01-13T18:09:03Z")
Presumably your friends think their spouses are attractive. It’s foolish of them to think they are the only person who does so. It’s normal to think of people you know as sexual prospects. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/nq_-Lqs22UE/maxresdefault.jpg "Viewing Each Other As Sexual Prospects - Community") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nq_-Lqs22UE) > [@Icarus](#): > > To me, the bigger issue is the party game itself. If these yahoos wanted to play this “truth or dare” variation, then they should be accepting of the answers - full stop. This nonsense of asking the question (titter tee hee), and then feigning outrage at the answer is the immature stance. I agree. If playing the game is going to offend you, don’t play it. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2021, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-morally-wrong-to-think-of-a-friends-spouse-significant-other-naked/930431/36 "2021-01-13T18:55:40Z")
That clip alone is more perfectly written and acted than any single part of the vast majority of sitcoms. (sorry to derail, it had to be said) mmm ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2021, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-morally-wrong-to-think-of-a-friends-spouse-significant-other-naked/930431/37 "2021-01-13T18:59:49Z")
At my age, it is so very, very wrong. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2021, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-morally-wrong-to-think-of-a-friends-spouse-significant-other-naked/930431/38 "2021-01-13T19:20:57Z")
I mean, the very fact they asked the question would make it true even if it hadn’t been previously. Not even the Bible makes that out to be a sin. It’s “to look at another man’s wife lustfully,” which most seem to interpret as some sort of sexual fantasy (though I note the word used for lust is the same as covet). It’s not merely imagining them naked. And, as someone with OCD, I know all about automatic thoughts. I’m not sure anything involuntary can be immoral. Down that path lies scrupulosity and religiosity. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2021, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-morally-wrong-to-think-of-a-friends-spouse-significant-other-naked/930431/39 "2021-01-13T19:51:57Z")
> [@HMS\_Irruncible](#): > > As I see it, there’s no sin in thinking what you want, but if speaking the thought would cause unnecessary discord or disturbance, then it’s a sin to say it. That’s where OP went wrong. This. People can think whatever sexual thoughts they want, but when the actual object of your fantasy is in the room, they may feel uncomfortable or even humiliated to know the truth. ---
**Author:** ![cormac262](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f14d63/32.png) [@cormac262](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cormac262)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2021, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-morally-wrong-to-think-of-a-friends-spouse-significant-other-naked/930431/40 "2021-01-13T20:10:47Z")
> [@Icarus](#): > > To me, the bigger issue is the party game itself. If these yahoos wanted to play this “truth or dare” variation, then they should be accepting of the answers - full stop. This nonsense of asking the question (titter tee hee), and then feigning outrage at the answer is the immature stance. Absolutely agree. I think answering honestly was not only the right thing to do, but also that you should not have been berated for doing so. If these friends were willing to play such a game, then they need to be ready to handle the truth. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-morally-wrong-to-think-of-a-friends-spouse-significant-other-naked/930431.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-morally-wrong-to-think-of-a-friends-spouse-significant-other-naked/930431.md?page=3)