I wouldn’t consider rarely/never using the stove or oven to be too weird. But never using a microwave? that is odd.
I’m a lazy bachelor, and about 85% of my cooking is in the microwave. Another 10% is in the rice cooker, and 4% is using the oven or stove (the other 1% is the grill). I use the stove a couple times a month, I use the microwave daily.
Anyway, I could live without a stove and oven. I can cook in them, but choose not to because prep work and clean up are time consuming compared to the microwave. But living w/o a microwave would be very difficult. And I always considered myself lazy in the kitchen, so I have no idea how someone lives w/o a microwave.
Unless they never eat frozen or canned foods. Then I guess its possible.
Yes, it’s very odd – and I should know, because I am similarly odd. I use my stove only to boil water for tea, and to make Cream of Wheat maybe once a month. I use my microwave only rarely to heat up a can of soup. I never use my oven.
I have taken cooking classes in the distant past, and have gone through periods when I cooked regular meals. But over time I have found that for budget and health reasons, not cooking works best for me.
I had a distant relative - a medical doctor, no less - who literally couldn’t make a cup of tea. He was a weird guy in general, and worked for a medical insurance company, not with patients.
My father was visiting once, and the ladies went out for some reason. “Why don’t we have some tea?”, said my dad, who drank about 8 cups a day. “Okay, but I hope you know how to make it, because I don’t.” My dad was highly shocked.
He had been totally spoiled his whole life by his mother and his wife, and never did anything himself at home. I don’t think he ever prepared food for himself in his life.
When I lived in Los Angeles, I rarely cooked an actual meal. Fixed snacks, sandwiches, etc., but almost all food was from restaurants and fast-food outlets. You can get almost anything delivered in L.A., and I was surrounded by food offerings, some of which were open 24 hours. I could walk or bike to at least 30 restaurants within a 6-block radius even though I wasn’t in a great walking district. Every job I had was similarly situated. So why cook?
Obviously not American, but I’ve heard of the same thing in London- apartments with no kitchen, maybe just a little fridge and an electric kettle for drinks.
Thinking about it, again not American, but I wouldn’t be surprised if my uncle has never used an oven or stove; my aunt does all the cooking. It’s to the point she’s not able to go away for more than 3 days without him. First day he’ll eat what she left in the fridge for him (dunno if he warms stuff up or just eats it cold, I don’t remember if they have a microwave) day two he’ll get fish and chips, day three its a cheese sandwich maybe or a pot noodle, but that’s the limit. He used to just go round his mother’s when my aunt was away, but now his mum’s in her 90s and lives in a home.
When they married, his mother honestly provided my aunt with a written set of care instructions; how he likes his eggs, what foods he likes, what not to give him… I don’t think he’s actually mentally capable of learning to feed himself now, it’s so firmly ‘not his job’.
A couple I know own and operate a restaurant, and live upstairs from their business. I’ve asked them how they handle feeding themselves. They both enjoy cooking, so they prepare meals not offered downstairs. They also “test” meals that then may get added to the menu or specials rotation. They also will raid the restaurant when they are tired, do not feel like cooking, or just to be efficient (consuming leftover food).
I enjoy cooking/preparing a meal. If I had a pass allowing me to dine for free in any local restaurant, I don’t think I’d eat out more often than my current 2-3 evenings a week.
I’m a bachelor, and I’m pretty much the same way. The work and trouble is part of it, but also the fact that fresh food spoils. Since I’m only making meals for myself, it’s actually difficult for me to use all of the fresh ingredients in a package before it spoils. When I’ve tried buying a bag of greens, a container of cherry tomatoes, and maybe an onion (I don’t like cucumbers), I almost invariably wind up throwing away a good bit of it because it spoils before I can eat it. If I buy a premade salad (or use a salad bar), I get exactly the amount I’m going to eat for that meal, and nothing goes to waste.
For the OP, I’ve been in my current house for about 10 years. I’ve used my oven a handful of times. I’ve used my stove quite a bit, and my microwave a LOT. But I also eat a LOT of takeout (my local grocery store has fresh food and salad takeout, so I can actually eat a pretty healthy, balanced diet just on takeout). For a bachelor, I wouldn’t find it at all odd for him to never use an oven; I would find it a bit unusual, but not particularly odd, for him to never use a stove; I do agree not even using a microwave is definitely odd.
I do the same thing (buy the pre-made salads) and am also a bachelor. I recognize that it’s not the cheapest way to eat but it’s a good thing if I’m eating salad.
Actually, if there’s anyone to teach a boy/man that cooking isn’t a “girl thing” wouldn’t it be his father? Blaming their mother, not the parents, seems to be an extension of the underlying problem.
It is odd to never use any method of heating up food in one’s home. Even people who don’t cook much tend to use the microwave and stovetop from time to time.
I had an uncle by marriage who until his death, NEVER served his own food. My aunt or one of his daughters would put food on his plate, either from the stove or from a serving dish. I’m sure he never know how to turn on the stove, use a microwave or toaster, etc.
My own father has probably never used the stove. He does use the microwave to re-heat food, but he probably wouldn’t be able (willing?) to take a frozen dinner, puncture the plastic wrap, zap it for three minutes, then unwrap stir and zap for another three. That would be “cooking”.
Neither of these guys has/had any disability. They both are perfectly competent and in fact ran large organizations in their professions (insurance and accounting). In their generation and culture, men just didn’t cook.
A German friend here in Panama I think didn’t own a refrigerator for the first 10 years or so he lived here. (For that matter, I don’t know that he has one now.) I would think you would want one if only to keep your beer cold.
AFAIK, he eats out for every meal, but he lives in a tourist district with several restaurants on every block.
This used to be entirely common in cities. Living space was so costly in cities and the tenements so packed that the poor didn’t have kitchens. They ate out all the time. Thus things like workplace canteens and school lunches were actually important reforms. In ancient times, cookhouses were a thing - you dropped off your pot of stew or whatever in the morning and you picked up the cooked meal in the evening or at lunchtime. And the cookhouse charged you for it, of course.
As a practical matter, if the Dad doesn’t cook and doesn’t believe he should, the onus of breaking the cycle falls on the mother.
My father who can’t boil an egg, has four sons who do most of the cooking in their homes. Now my father professes to be really proud of us, but for many years he clearly found this very strange.
I used to work for a guy who never cooked. He bought a condo in a development that was being built “to order”, and considered having them put in no kitchen at all, since he knew he wouldn’t use it. He decided that would make it harder to sell the place down the line, so he got all the cheapest choices. I think he kept some orange juice in his fridge, but I know he said he never heated anything.
My SIL sort of did this. The kitchen was mostly for show. The important part of it was the “pantry”, a drawer full of take-out menus. My brother cooks more now that he’s divorced.
Honestly, between the high cost of ingredients in Manhattan (at least when I was there, there weren’t any regular supermarkets, in large part because they didn’t allow 18-wheelers on the island) and the low cost of take-out (frequently subsidized by underpaid illegal workers) it’s often cheaper to buy pre-made food than to cook. We did cook in Manhattan, and I suppose if you whip up a pot of lentils, that costs less than dining out. But I think the excellent local chicken schwarma was cheaper than buying raw chicken to cook it.
Nah, I still say both parents share equal blame (in the case of their son having zero ability to, say, fix a bowl of cereal) since dad is setting this example and modeling the behavior for his son.
Putting all of the onus on mom IS the underlying problem - she is responsible for everything, and he doesn’t lift a finger.
Personally, I’d never feel comfortable if a basic survival necessity was entirely out of my hands. Do these guys think women are immortal? If mom/wife gets sick, hospitalized, breaks both arms, what have you … what, you just sit there and starve?
Or else have to leave your own home just to eat? What’s next, having to go out just to poop? Naaaah, fuck all that noise.
I could see not using an Oven. It’s not typical and probably not even common but even for myself until a few years ago I could count on the fingers of both hands how many times used an oven.
A stove is one level from oven in “What?!” Even I used a stove many many times when I never used ovens t make eggs and grilled cheeses and minute steaks and things. I find strange but possible.
Now, a Microwave? That’s where I draw the line and say there is no way someone could be an adult of normal health and not once have used a Microwave. Even if you order in every single day there are left overs. Lots of Microwave food is literally shove it in the oven and then into your mouth. Unless they are disabled in some way, I think every single person has had to use a Microwave at some point.
Yeah, I think my boss with no (need for a) kitchen never ate at home. He picked up a breakfast sandwich on the way to work. He never had leftovers because he never brought food into his house.
Weird, but the guy was an otherwise competent adult.