# Is it offensive to call someone a "tard" or a "retard"? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 15, 2016, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-offensive-to-call-someone-a-tard-or-a-retard/743270 "2016-01-15T20:19:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Max\_the\_Immortal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Max\_the\_Immortal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_the_Immortal)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2016, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-offensive-to-call-someone-a-tard-or-a-retard/743270/21 "2016-01-16T00:41:51Z")
I wonder if there are parallels to blindness or deafness. It seems relatively fine to use expressions like “How can you be so blind?” or “What are you, deaf?”, insofar as it’s understood that the speaker isn’t hating on blind or deaf people. If someone dismisses a harebrained idea with “That’s just retarded.”, is it similarly understood that the speaker isn’t hating on the developmentally disabled? ---
**Author:** ![Robert163](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/4af34b/32.png) [@Robert163](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robert163)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2016, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-offensive-to-call-someone-a-tard-or-a-retard/743270/22 "2016-01-16T00:58:34Z")
> [@Max\_the\_Immortal](#): > > I wonder if there are parallels to blindness or deafness. It seems relatively fine to use expressions like “How can you be so blind?” or “What are you, deaf?”, insofar as it’s understood that the speaker isn’t hating on blind or deaf people. If someone dismisses a harebrained idea with “That’s just retarded.”, is it similarly understood that the speaker isn’t hating on the developmentally disabled? good point except, being blind, while a disability, is not necessarily a insult/derogatory term ---
**Author:** ![scootergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e99b99/32.png) [@scootergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scootergirl)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2016, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-offensive-to-call-someone-a-tard-or-a-retard/743270/23 "2016-01-16T01:17:58Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > As a general rule, I don’t think the use of any word should be banned. > > And you know, there are legitimate uses of the word, and not just in reference to someone’s mental capabilities. This. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2016, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-offensive-to-call-someone-a-tard-or-a-retard/743270/24 "2016-01-16T01:26:10Z")
I went in the middle. In real life, call some politician a “tard” in front of me and I may or may not think less of you. Call someone with actual learning disabilities a “tard” and not only will I surely think less of you I may just kick you in the nuts to emphasize my objection. For me some depends on the target and intent/tone of the speaker. ---
**Author:** ![prettydorky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f04885/32.png) [@prettydorky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/prettydorky)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2016, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-offensive-to-call-someone-a-tard-or-a-retard/743270/25 "2016-01-16T01:29:04Z")
The thing is, retarded people grow up hearing that it sucks to be the way they are. We use retarded to describe things we don’t like. Perhaps retarded people would like to be part of a world where there is nothing wrong with being retarded, just like there is nothing wrong with being black, or gay, or deaf. Yes, you can argue that it is by definition a wrongness, that they were born a way they weren’t supposed to be, but that doesn’t matter to the person who has to live his or her (often very short) life that way, and it stings to the people that love them too. Better to set the example of accepting people just exactly the way they are instead of cluttering up the world with extra negativity, since we have enough of that already. ---
**Author:** ![GrumpyBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc8723/32.png) [@GrumpyBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrumpyBunny)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2016, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-offensive-to-call-someone-a-tard-or-a-retard/743270/26 "2016-01-16T01:29:25Z")
I don’t use the term at all, but after moving to Massachusetts, I’ve heard it more than I’d heard in the previous 15 years. When you add in the accent, it comes out as “reTAHdid”, which is really hilarious. Wrong and probably offensive, but hilarious. I’m a terrible person for giggling at this word. At least I thought so until my colleague, who has a developmentally disabled brother, used the term. Then I felt less terrible. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2016, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-offensive-to-call-someone-a-tard-or-a-retard/743270/27 "2016-01-16T01:49:27Z")
No, it should not be banned; it’s such a handy way of identifying the real assholes. > [@Rushgeekgirl](#): > > Idiot, imbecile, moron, retard… none of these should be allowed if they’re used against other people on this forum. Namecalling should not be allowed. Maybe in the pit. It seems rather popular there, but I think they even have to be careful with certain slurs. We are not children. We can handle a little name-calling. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Nylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/77aa72/32.png) [@Mr.Nylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Nylock)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2016, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-offensive-to-call-someone-a-tard-or-a-retard/743270/28 "2016-01-16T02:09:46Z")
I am a retard and am not offended by the term. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2016, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-offensive-to-call-someone-a-tard-or-a-retard/743270/29 "2016-01-16T02:25:12Z")
I despise the Voldemorting of words. Words have more power when we’re not allowed to say them, not less. I don’t actually \*say \*“retarded” to mean foolish or silly or unintelligent, I just want to reserve the right to do so should I wish. Which I don’t. So it’s purely an academic argument from me. > [@BubbaDog](#): > > Is anyone correctly called retarded anymore, or imbecile, or idiot? > > In my childhood, mentally challenged people were called retarded by doctors, teachers etc but is that term medically used anymore? Medically speaking, “mental retardation” is still a diagnosis group in the ICD 10 system that we just adopted (F70-F79). It’s being discussed that maybe it should be changed for ICD 11. [http://www.who.int/mental\_health/media/en/69.pdf](http://www.who.int/mental_health/media/en/69.pdf) But, just as we’re discouraged from referring to people as “diabetics” and encouraged to refer to them as “people with diabetes”, we don’t generally refer to people with mental retardation as “retards” in medical circles. We don’t usually use “mentally retarded,” even, and “mental retardation” is very formal and usually reserved for coding. In conversation or report, you’re more likely to hear “developmentally delayed,” which is in fact a whole different ICD 10 code, reserved for a developmental disorder of motor function, not intellect (F82). > [@Lowdown](#): > > I prefer “mongoloid” myself. I don’t remember the last time I used “retard”. I don’t find it offensive. It’s just super lame. And (while I agree with you) whenever I read something like this, I wonder if anyone gives a thought as to where “lame” came from. :dubious: > [@Chefguy](#): > > I have to say that one of my favorite words is still “fucktard”. It’s got punch. Retard, not so much. Fuck yeah. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2016, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-offensive-to-call-someone-a-tard-or-a-retard/743270/30 "2016-01-16T03:39:36Z")
I’m of two minds on this one. I’m about sick of the ultra PC world in which we now find ourselves. When someone says “that’s just retarded” I know damn well what they mean and I also know they are not disparaging the mentally challenged among us. It’s just a handy, descriptive phrase. On the other hand, since it’s been widely pointed out that it hurts some peoples’ feelings, I feel like one has to be kind of a jerk and possibly not socially savvy to use it. There are plenty of other words to describe a situation that is just stupid. Why be unkind if one can help it? Frankly I feel the same way about a lot of terms that are verboten by “polite society” and certainly among a lot of folks here. ---
**Author:** ![Robert163](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/4af34b/32.png) [@Robert163](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robert163)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2016, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-offensive-to-call-someone-a-tard-or-a-retard/743270/31 "2016-01-16T03:43:08Z")
> [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > I’m about sick of the ultra PC world in which we now find ourselves. Try being a minority in 1966… 50 years ago. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2016, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-offensive-to-call-someone-a-tard-or-a-retard/743270/32 "2016-01-16T04:15:17Z")
> [@Robert163](#): > > Try being a minority in 1966… 50 years ago. Not trying to start a fight, but what’s your point? This thread is about the term “retard” , an unkind term that can refer to a group whom I’m assuming has always been and will always be a minority. If I’m reading you right, what you’re really challenging me on is my comment about the “other terms” that I alluded to. If you’re trying to ask me if I use or condone the term “nigger”; no I do not. Not because it has some magical power and must not be uttered, but because it doesn’t come up in any conversation I would ever have, it being the expression of a stupid, hateful concept that I don’t ascribe to. That being said, it also doesn’t give me the vapors. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2016, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-offensive-to-call-someone-a-tard-or-a-retard/743270/33 "2016-01-16T04:24:54Z")
I think the issue is that you’re taking a term that has a neutral meaning and turning it into a derogatory term. The fact that the term is derogatory then reflects back on the people who it was neutrally applied to. Consider the term gay. In a neutral sense, it means somebody is homosexual. But you hear people using it as a general term of derision, as in “this homework is so gay.” The speaker is obviously not claiming that their homework is homosexual, they’re saying their homework is bad. But once you establish the connection gay=bad, it goes on to promote the idea that gay people ie homosexuals are bad people. The same thing can happen with the use of retarded as a general derogatory term. If you promote the use of retarded to mean something bad, it leads to the idea that retarded people are bad people. ---
**Author:** ![Robert163](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/4af34b/32.png) [@Robert163](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robert163)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2016, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-offensive-to-call-someone-a-tard-or-a-retard/743270/34 "2016-01-16T04:25:58Z")
> [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > Not trying to start a fight, but what’s your point? This thread is about the term “retard” , an unkind term that can refer to a group whom I’m assuming has always been and will always be a minority. If I’m reading you right, what you’re really challenging me on is my comment about the “other terms” that I alluded to. If you’re trying to ask me if I use or condone the term “nigger”; no I do not. Not because it has some magical power and must not be uttered, but because it doesn’t come up in any conversation I would ever have, it being the expression of a stupid, hateful concept that I don’t ascribe to. That being said, it also doesn’t give me the vapors. I was referring to your dislike for political correctness. I agree that PC has gone too far. I think that people who say the wrong thing and get fired or crucified in public media, that is probably a bit too far. (Though not if they have repeatedly made racist etc remarks). But the general idea that nigger and retard are not acceptable parts of everyday speech, I support that 100%. (You did admit how excessively rude the term retard is). As to my remark about 1966… I am pointing out that society tends to go to extremes. If it takes some time (one or two decades) to correct the rampant racism and sexism of the previous decades… that is fine with me. I’d rather have it too PC than not PC enough. ---
**Author:** ![Robert163](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/4af34b/32.png) [@Robert163](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robert163)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2016, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-offensive-to-call-someone-a-tard-or-a-retard/743270/35 "2016-01-16T04:27:28Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > I think the issue is that you’re taking a term that has a neutral meaning and turning it into a derogatory term. The fact that the term is derogatory then reflects back on the people who it was neutrally applied to. > > Consider the term gay. In a neutral sense, it means somebody is homosexual. But you hear people using it as a general term of derision, as in “this homework is so gay.” The speaker is obviously not claiming that their homework is homosexual, they’re saying their homework is bad. But once you establish the connection gay=bad, it goes on to promote the idea that gay people ie homosexuals are bad people. > > The same thing can happen with the use of retarded as a general derogatory term. If you promote the use of retarded to mean something bad, it leads to the idea that retarded people are bad people. It’s been a long long time since mentally retarded was a neutral term. I’m 43 and for as long as I can remember it has had a very negative connotation. ---
**Author:** ![delphica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2016, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-offensive-to-call-someone-a-tard-or-a-retard/743270/36 "2016-01-16T04:28:02Z")
I went with offensive, but should be allowed, because I like having metrics by which to judge other people. It’s not even so much, to me, that it’s offensive … it’s just _unnecessary_ most of the time. There’s a pretty decent base of people who find it hurtful, it’s easy not to say it, why be a jackass about it? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2016, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-offensive-to-call-someone-a-tard-or-a-retard/743270/37 "2016-01-16T04:28:53Z")
> [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > I’m of two minds on this one. I’m about sick of the ultra PC world in which we now find ourselves. > [@Robert163](#): > > Try being a minority in 1966… 50 years ago. > [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > Not trying to start a fight, but what’s your point? I think his point is that society was worse off before political correctness was a concept. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2016, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-offensive-to-call-someone-a-tard-or-a-retard/743270/38 "2016-01-16T04:32:03Z")
> [@Robert163](#): > > It’s been a long long time since mentally retarded was a neutral term. I’m 43 and for as long as I can remember it has had a very negative connotation. I agree. The train has left the station on the word and it’s not going to go back to being a neutral term. But I was trying to explain why using retarded as a derogatory term is wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Robert163](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/4af34b/32.png) [@Robert163](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robert163)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2016, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-offensive-to-call-someone-a-tard-or-a-retard/743270/39 "2016-01-16T04:35:15Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > I agree. The train has left the station on the word and it’s not going to go back to being a neutral term. But I was trying to explain why using retarded as a derogatory term is wrong. Ah, yes, OK. Yeah, I was going to maybe mention it before… I assume that mentally retarded started off as a medical/diagnostic term that was neutral and was turned into a negative term sometime after it became a common everyday word… due to what it represented/referred too. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2016, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-offensive-to-call-someone-a-tard-or-a-retard/743270/40 "2016-01-16T04:50:55Z")
**Robert163** , thank you for clarifying. I may be misremembering because I’m old! (born in '66) but it doesn’t \*feel \*to me like it’s been that long since “mentally retarded” was a valid, non offensive term, bit I’ll take you’re word for it. It would take too long for me to expound on why I don’t think society is necessarily better off being more PC; it’s not that cut and dried, IMO. I do think it’s always better that people be kinder if they know that their choice of words can hurt someone else. And I’m just talking on a person to person level; not on the level where people of power oppress others. Obviously that is a huge problem and not what my response or what this thread is about. **delphica** , I’m with you as far as it being a yard stick by which to measure people. I cannot tell you the instances in which I’ve heard adult, supposedly educated people use the term and I just think “what the fuck?” I’m not offended per se, but I think the person lacks class and self awareness. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-offensive-to-call-someone-a-tard-or-a-retard/743270.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-offensive-to-call-someone-a-tard-or-a-retard/743270.md?page=3)