# Is it offensive to call someone a "tard" or a "retard"? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 15, 2016, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-offensive-to-call-someone-a-tard-or-a-retard/743270 "2016-01-15T20:19:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2016, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-offensive-to-call-someone-a-tard-or-a-retard/743270/61 "2016-01-16T19:01:01Z")
What is that ‘rather long list’? ---
**Author:** ![Briny\_Deep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/briny_deep/32/17188_2.png) [@Briny\_Deep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briny_Deep)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2016, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-offensive-to-call-someone-a-tard-or-a-retard/743270/62 "2016-01-16T19:14:50Z")
> [@madsircool](#): > > What is that ‘rather long list’? Aha! Excellent question! I’ve never seen it enumerated but you can think of some words that are on it. Racial slurs, specifically, when directed at a person as an insult. “Faggot,” probably. “Tard,” I wish (but not yet). Et cetera. I understand the moderators are reluctant to publish an actual list, which is sensible. Moderation calls are made case-to-case. Oh, and edited to add: the sexual slurs listed here: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=508858](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=508858) ---
**Author:** ![\_Raven](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/_raven/32/20435_2.png) [@\_Raven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_Raven)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2016, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-offensive-to-call-someone-a-tard-or-a-retard/743270/63 "2016-01-16T19:43:55Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > I used to use “retarded” all the time. Even that was only the adjectival form, not the noun; see my earlier remarks about which one is more insulting. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2016, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-offensive-to-call-someone-a-tard-or-a-retard/743270/64 "2016-01-16T20:03:47Z")
I hate the word. I even call flame retardant clothing combustably challenged. Or I did until that became unacceptable. Now it’s threads with special heats. ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2016, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-offensive-to-call-someone-a-tard-or-a-retard/743270/65 "2016-01-16T20:13:42Z")
> [@Briny\_Deep](#): > > Aha! Excellent question! I’ve never seen it enumerated but you can think of some words that are on it. Racial slurs, specifically, when directed at a person as an insult. “Faggot,” probably. “Tard,” I wish (but not yet). Et cetera. I understand the moderators are reluctant to publish an actual list, which is sensible. Moderation calls are made case-to-case. > > Oh, and edited to add: the sexual slurs listed here: [Restricted language in the Pit - The BBQ Pit - Straight Dope Message Board](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=508858) Those words usually arent modded in the Pit despite the sticky. Its a judgment call by the Mods. ---
**Author:** ![chizzuk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@chizzuk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chizzuk)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2016, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-offensive-to-call-someone-a-tard-or-a-retard/743270/66 "2016-01-17T05:45:30Z")
I don’t think it should be banned on an internet message board, but I work in elementary special ed and I never ever ever use that word. Because I’m terrified that if I get careless and utter it even once, that there will be chinks in my mental fence around it and it might slip out at work. Which could devastate a student and/or my professional position, depending on who heard it. Never ever. ---
**Author:** ![Robert163](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/4af34b/32.png) [@Robert163](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robert163)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2016, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-offensive-to-call-someone-a-tard-or-a-retard/743270/67 "2016-01-17T05:56:05Z")
> [@chizzuk](#): > > I don’t think it should be banned on an internet message board, but I work in elementary special ed and I never ever ever use that word. Because I’m terrified that if I get careless and utter it even once, that there will be chinks in my mental fence around it and it might slip out at work. Which could devastate a student and/or my professional position, depending on who heard it. Never ever. what is the correct/polite term? ---
**Author:** ![PatrickLondon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/patricklondon/32/4422_2.png) [@PatrickLondon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatrickLondon)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2016, 10:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-offensive-to-call-someone-a-tard-or-a-retard/743270/68 "2016-01-17T10:45:43Z")
> [@Richard\_Pearse](#): > > It doesn’t offend me though I’m sure it offends some people. I would not use tard or retard in front of someone who I thought might take offense but don’t have a problem with it on these boards. But why would anyone use it anywhere? Ad hominem argument is an acknowledgement of defeat. You might as well say “Nar nar ne nar nar, you smell and so does your ma”. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2016, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-offensive-to-call-someone-a-tard-or-a-retard/743270/69 "2016-01-17T10:53:30Z")
> [@PatrickLondon](#): > > But why would anyone use it anywhere? Ad hominem argument is an acknowledgement of defeat. You might as well say “Nar nar ne nar nar, you smell and so does your ma”. Well, I use it for fun, e.g., “my cat is retarded”. I don’t make a habit of insulting anyone to their face. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2016, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-offensive-to-call-someone-a-tard-or-a-retard/743270/70 "2016-01-17T14:16:25Z")
> [@PatrickLondon](#): > > But why would anyone use it anywhere? Ad hominem argument is an acknowledgement of defeat. You might as well say “Nar nar ne nar nar, you smell and so does your ma”. Self-deprecating humor hasn’t gone out of style yet. Sometimes I’ll set up a story by saying something like, “You know how I’m kind of tetched, right?” I’d never call someone “tetched” to their face. But it’s alright if I do it to myself. ---
**Author:** ![arseNal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@arseNal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/arseNal)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2016, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-offensive-to-call-someone-a-tard-or-a-retard/743270/71 "2016-01-17T16:14:13Z")
> [@Lowdown](#): > > I prefer “mongoloid” myself. I don’t remember the last time I used “retard”. I don’t find it offensive. It’s just super lame. If you’re going to take the time to insult something or somebody, put some effort into it. I can’t take you seriously if you display the put-down proficiency of a third grader. > [@Bill\_Door](#): > > You’ve got to love it when a poster can’t take someone seriously because that person used a “super lame” insult. Also, “mongoloid” is much better, is it? A term that implies that the facial features of people of certain ethnicities make them look mentally disabled is just fine, I guess? Unless I’m being whooshed. ---
**Author:** ![\_Raven](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/_raven/32/20435_2.png) [@\_Raven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_Raven)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2016, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-offensive-to-call-someone-a-tard-or-a-retard/743270/72 "2016-01-17T17:24:14Z")
> [@arseNal](#): > > Also, “mongoloid” is much better, is it? A term that implies that the facial features of people of certain ethnicities make them look mentally disabled is just fine, I guess? Unless I’m being whooshed. Rather the reverse: the disability is a syndrome (collected set of symptoms) among which is that the patient, even if Caucasian, develops a stereotypically Asian look about the face, notably the eyes. But this was felt an uncomfortable way to refer to it, and is now accordingly discouraged. ---
**Author:** ![chizzuk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@chizzuk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chizzuk)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2016, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-offensive-to-call-someone-a-tard-or-a-retard/743270/73 "2016-01-17T17:43:38Z")
> [@Robert163](#): > > what is the correct/polite term? Intellectually disabled. ---
**Author:** ![Channing\_Idaho\_Banks](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/channing_idaho_banks/32/250_2.png) [@Channing\_Idaho\_Banks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Channing_Idaho_Banks)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2016, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-offensive-to-call-someone-a-tard-or-a-retard/743270/74 "2016-01-17T18:02:10Z")
I think retard is a kind of word that you use when you talk about people behind their backs or when you’re talking about that driver that keeps tapping his brakes on the freeway. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2016, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-offensive-to-call-someone-a-tard-or-a-retard/743270/75 "2016-01-17T19:26:47Z")
I’m a free speech kind of girl but I chose the third option. This board is not “public” it’s more or less privately operated. Therefore the operators can set the rules to suit themselves or the posters. I dislike seeing arguments(well, in 99% of the cases) devolve into name calling, so since those words are offensive I wouldn’t mind seeing them banned. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Lebodnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/fbc32d/32.png) [@Mr.Lebodnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Lebodnik)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2016, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-offensive-to-call-someone-a-tard-or-a-retard/743270/76 "2016-01-17T21:20:37Z")
> [@chizzuk](#): > > I don’t think it should be banned on an internet message board, but I work in elementary special ed and I never ever ever use that word. Because I’m terrified that if I get careless and utter it even once, that there will be chinks in my mental fence around it and it might slip out at work. Which could devastate a student and/or my professional position, depending on who heard it. Never ever. We clearly have a racist here. Obviously I’m kidding, but yeah, these days it seems whatever you say someones going to be offended. ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2016, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-offensive-to-call-someone-a-tard-or-a-retard/743270/77 "2016-01-17T21:38:27Z")
I find it more offensive to use an obsolete term that has developed a pejorative connotation to describe the intellectually disabled. ---
**Author:** ![BeeGee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5a626/32.png) [@BeeGee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BeeGee)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2016, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-offensive-to-call-someone-a-tard-or-a-retard/743270/78 "2016-01-17T21:48:13Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > I think the issue is that you’re taking a term that has a neutral meaning and turning it into a derogatory term. The fact that the term is derogatory then reflects back on the people who it was neutrally applied to. > > Consider the term gay. In a neutral sense, it means somebody is homosexual. But you hear people using it as a general term of derision, as in “this homework is so gay.” The speaker is obviously not claiming that their homework is homosexual, they’re saying their homework is bad. But once you establish the connection gay=bad, it goes on to promote the idea that gay people ie homosexuals are bad people. > > The same thing can happen with the use of retarded as a general derogatory term. If you promote the use of retarded to mean something bad, it leads to the idea that retarded people are bad people. I couldn’t have put it better. As a former special ed teacher and the former stepmother of a kid with neuroblastoma, terms that contain “tard” in any way, shape, or form annoy the hell out of me. That and any reference to a short bus anger me to the point that I will immediately terminate the conversation. Though I might end it with the medical definition of retardation or the information that a loved one did in fact ride the short bus. I did not vote for banning it. As noted earlier, it’s such a handy way to spot the jackasses. Really, try and get a little more creative with your insults. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-offensive-to-call-someone-a-tard-or-a-retard/743270.md?page=3)