# Is it OK for a man to cry ? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 14, 2003, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-for-a-man-to-cry/148503 "2003-01-14T13:26:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-for-a-man-to-cry/148503/41 "2003-01-15T00:25:31Z")
Crying is just not a reaction to pain that occurs to me. Part of it is that I’m a clutz I guess, and there are regularly at least three moderate injuries on my body at any time. And when I seriously hurt myself my brain just kicks into practical mode. Maybe my body is so used to pain that the adrenaline and endorphines are always just standing at the ready or something. I just kinda stand there and look at the injury and plan to deal with it. “Hmm there is a large nail sticking all the way through my hand, that really hurts, I wonder what is the best way to get rid to the pain. I could grab a codiene or something. but then I would still have a huge nail stuck in my hand. I should deffinately pull the nail out now while the pain is still horrible, rather than just relive the pain if I do it later. I wonder if pulling it out is gonna start bleeding real bad, like an artery or something. I wonder if there are big arteries in the hand? Well anyway the nail got torqued as it went through so the hole isn’t air tight, and if it had hit an artery then it would already be bleeding like crazy. When I do pull it out it is still gonna bleed pretty bad though, I wonder what I have in the way of bandages. No, crap, I looked last time, I have no bandages But I have ass-loads of gauze I can cover both side with a huge wad of gauze, and wrap duck tape around it, that works pretty well. I sure all hell don’t want to drive to the store with a nail in my hand to by more big bandages, cause they will probably make me go to the hospital. … Okay so I’m ready, got my gauze, my ducktape, my vice-grips, and codiene at the ready, On the count of three I do it. I wonder when my last tetanus shot was, oh yeah just last year, I’m cool” That is a near accurate account of an internal conversation I had with myself once, and with all that crap going on in my mind there is no time to consider crying. ---
**Author:** ![Toddly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/22d042/32.png) [@Toddly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toddly)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-for-a-man-to-cry/148503/42 "2003-01-15T00:34:23Z")
It sure is OK with me if a man cries. It does depend upon the severity of the injury. If I lost a finger I do believe that I would be pretty upset and lose it. Heck I have cried more in the last year than in all my prior years in total. 2002 was a very bad year. ---
**Author:** ![0887](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/0/977dab/32.png) [@0887](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/0887)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-for-a-man-to-cry/148503/43 "2003-01-15T01:55:53Z")
Heck yes Toddly you cry you will feel better for it. I encourage Men to cry. If you hurt you cry, thats my motto. 0887 ---
**Author:** ![DAVEW0071](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e19b73/32.png) [@DAVEW0071](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DAVEW0071)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-for-a-man-to-cry/148503/44 "2003-01-15T02:00:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by monica \* > \*\*It is definately ok for a guy to cry. The only limit on that is when a guy cries at every single little thing…but then, it would annoy me coming from a girl, too. Basically, I think guys have the same right to cry as everyone else. \*\* There ya go. Equality to the max. Well said, **monica**. I couldn’t agree more. ---
**Author:** ![Tony\_Montana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/278dde/32.png) [@Tony\_Montana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tony_Montana)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-for-a-man-to-cry/148503/45 "2003-01-15T02:18:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DAVEW0071 \* > \*\*There ya go. Equality to the max. Well said, **monica**. I couldn’t agree more. \*\* ::sniffle::: I agree :::sniffle::: That was **beautiful** man!::sniffle:::honk:::… ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-for-a-man-to-cry/148503/46 "2003-01-15T02:44:49Z")
HEY! If Genral shwartzcoff (I know I murdered the sp) can cry on national tv then So can I!. Becuase hes about as manly as they come! Also I might like to add that _in a traditional sense_ I don’t think your hubby was really crying. That was more or less the body’s reaction to extreme pain. Now if somebody slaps him accross the face and _then_ he starts to cry… Well thats just wrong.😉 ---
**Author:** ![0887](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/0/977dab/32.png) [@0887](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/0887)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-for-a-man-to-cry/148503/47 "2003-01-15T02:53:56Z")
🙂 Crying for all the right reasons shows sensitivity. I think to cry just because you are having a bad day is a real sissy or panty waist thing to do. Crying can be a form of release for the man as well as the woman. Nothing wrong with crying if it is for the right reasons. Crying about anything and everything is repulsive where it is a man or woman. There is a fine line here. 0887:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angel_of_the_lord/32/2949_2.png) [@Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_the_Lord)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-for-a-man-to-cry/148503/48 "2003-01-15T03:04:00Z")
Hell yes it’s okay for a man to cry! I mean, sheesh, he lost his finger. I’d be scared bodily-function-less if that’d happened to me, and I’m a fairly stoic chick when it comes to that sort of thing. I’d probably be crying, too. Not 'cause of the pain, but because of the, “Omigod, am I going to be counting in base nine from here on out?!” factor. The people giving your husband grief were assholes. And, hey, remember, sensitivity gets chicks. Assholery, in general, does not. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-for-a-man-to-cry/148503/49 "2003-01-15T03:27:27Z")
My Dad died a few days ago and I’ve been crying every day since. I was sobbing openly in the airports and on the plane rides to go help my mother. If someone though less of me for that, then they are perfectly free suck my shit. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-for-a-man-to-cry/148503/50 "2003-01-15T05:14:33Z")
Of course it was okay! The guy cut his finger OFF!!! Plus, being teary eyed and having a shaky voice sound more like the shock of what happened. Plus, they say crying is good for one’s eyes-tears wash out any dirt that gets in your eyes. I, however, blubber like a baby. I cry so easily. But that’s okay cuz I’m a chick, right? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![cart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3ec8ea/32.png) [@cart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cart)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-for-a-man-to-cry/148503/51 "2003-01-15T11:19:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Angel of the Lord \* > **And, hey, remember, sensitivity gets chicks.** There’s a difference between crying and sensitivity. And there’s a much bigger difference between being sensitive about yourself and being sensitive about others. > [@](#): > > \*\*Assholery, in general, does not. \*\* On the other hand, sometimes it seems you can’t move on here for threads that say exactly the opposite. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-for-a-man-to-cry/148503/52 "2003-01-15T13:23:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by auntie em \* > **Hell, he thinks my 18-month old nephew is a wuss because he (the nephew) has not yet learned that boys don’t cry.** > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RickJay \* > **That, too, is kind of psycho.** Tongue-in-cheek, ya’ crybabies! It was said as a tongue-in-cheek comment. 😛 ::SNIFF!:: That said… the kid really _is_ kind of a pussy. You’d almost think that, by 18 months, his backbone would, you know, be there. 🙂 Besides, I shed a tear a couple of years back when my seven month-old puppy died with her head in my lap. And I wasn’t even holding my Care Bear to give me strength, either. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-for-a-man-to-cry/148503/53 "2003-01-15T13:41:09Z")
😛 You know, one of these days, your kid is gonna find this message board and he’s really never gonna forgive you for that one. Take my word for it. I’ve never been badly injured so I can’t say how I’d react to it. I haven’t cried in response to a wound since I was a young child. Not going to any great lengths to suppress it, Goddess knows, but simply because I don’t have the impulse. My mom doesn’t cry either when she hurts herself, fwiw. On the other hand, I cry (or at least get choked up) at wistful songs, beautiful architecture, political rallies, and thoughts of my city when I’m far away. And when I’m talking to my boyfriend, that part of the universe for whom I’m more grateful than for anything else, I cry a great deal. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-for-a-man-to-cry/148503/54 "2003-01-15T13:59:03Z")
I’ve broken many bones, and didn’t cry at the pain, but I do get teary in the following situations: sentimental movie; beautiful piece of music; hangover (don’t know why); post-migraine; post-physical shock; sad thing happening to someone close to me. I reckon the poor guy was crying because of the post-physical shock state, and also reacting to the loss of a limb, which is a fairly big thing to cope with, emotionally. The guys who bugged him were simply assholes. ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-for-a-man-to-cry/148503/55 "2003-01-15T19:49:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > **😛 You know, one of these days, your kid is gonna find this message board and he’s really never gonna forgive you for that one. Take my word for it.** Him, I’m not worried about. Dude, it’s his _MOM_ that has me regretting that I said anything. Hell, if she finds out, you’re going to be reading somewhere that “…and SkipMagic is now paralyzed from the cowlick down…” :eek: And then I won’t be able to cry. ---
**Author:** ![Tomcat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Tomcat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tomcat)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-for-a-man-to-cry/148503/56 "2003-01-15T19:56:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by 0887 \* > \*\*You Tomcat are a real man. 0887 \*\* No, I’m a [Manly man](http://tmontague.homeip.net/manlymain.htm#top) . Be manly, and good-day! -Tcat ---
**Author:** ![0887](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/0/977dab/32.png) [@0887](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/0887)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-for-a-man-to-cry/148503/57 "2003-01-15T20:04:31Z")
Hey Tomcat I can’t be manly. I have not a manly bone in my body. 0887;) ---
**Author:** ![Tomcat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Tomcat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tomcat)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-for-a-man-to-cry/148503/58 "2003-01-15T20:25:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by 0887 \* > \*\*Hey Tomcat I can’t be manly. > I have not a manly bone in my body. 0887;) \*\* [extremely sexist commentary]Well, I can give you a manly bone in your body if you want.[/extremely sexist commentary] Listen to a few of those clips, they are funny. Totally tongue-in-cheek humor on being a man. -Tcat ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-for-a-man-to-cry/148503/59 "2003-01-15T22:30:26Z")
> [@](#): > > _ **Tomcat** said:_ > No, I’m a Manly man . > > Be manly, and good-day! Waitaminnit! But… but… [Manly](http://www.manlyweb.com.au/)’s a suburb of Sydney, Australia! Doesn’t that leave all us Canucks, Yanks, etc, kinda out in the cold? ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-for-a-man-to-cry/148503/60 "2003-01-16T03:07:00Z")
Although I am not a man, I have to admit, crying is a situational thing for me. Fer instance, I cried hysterically when I cut the tip of my finger damn near off–not b/c it hurt, but b/c I knew I was screwed. Also, not for nothing, the sight of it was a bit much. Fortunately, it healed nicely. Today at work, my boss cried after a very intense face-off with a large, violent, and insane student. He said things to her that would have tried the patience of a saint. Afterward, she cried-- not b/c she was sad, b/c she was hella goddamn pissed off. I understood; sometimes the same thing happens to me. I’ve read that tears shed in excess of emotion are chemically different from the tears your eye makes when you get dust in them. The hormones that make you sad exit your body via your tears. It’s healthy to cry if you need to. Men who never cry are a little scary. On the other hand, seeing my father cry at his mother and my mother’s funerals was heartwrenching. It distressed me on a primal level. I’m glad he did it, though, b/c he needed it. All this talk of crying brought this poem to mind: I tell you, Chickadee I am afraid of people who cannot cry Tears left unshed turn to poison in the ducts Ask the next soldier you see enjoying a massacre if this is not so. People who do not cry are victims of soul mutilation paid for in Marlboros and trucks. Resist. Violence does not work except for the man who pays your salary Who knows if you could still weep you would not take the job. ~Alice Walker [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-for-a-man-to-cry/148503.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-for-a-man-to-cry/148503.md?page=4)