# Is it OK for men to cry in public? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 29, 2003, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-for-men-to-cry-in-public/204398 "2003-09-29T00:58:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 15
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2003, 7:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-for-men-to-cry-in-public/204398/281 "2003-10-13T07:50:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scumpup \* > \*\*Zenster, > You are a pompous, sneering little man with an ugly way about you, and you really aren’t the least bit likable; but, I expect you hear that all the time. > If I were the emotional sort, I’d feel bad for you because of the sad, grubby little life you must lead. \*\* **Zenster** is actually very likeable. And, unlike you, he can actually be funny. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2003, 9:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-for-men-to-cry-in-public/204398/282 "2003-10-13T09:17:56Z")
I don’t remember where this thread started life—was it Great Debates? Or somewhere else? In either case, posting inflamatory tripe in an attempt to stir up reactions has a particular name attached to it, and the connotations of that name are not good. **Uzi,** if you think that kind of crap is humorous, that’s your problem, not mine. In any event, fuck you. ---
**Author:** ![EllisDee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellisdee/32/4531_2.png) [@EllisDee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EllisDee)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2003, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-for-men-to-cry-in-public/204398/283 "2003-10-13T12:26:04Z")
IMHO, I believe. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2003, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-for-men-to-cry-in-public/204398/284 "2003-10-13T17:06:19Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by **Uzi** _ > > When I first read his posts in this thread I recognized it as humour. That you didn’t isn’t Scumpup’s problem. It’s yours. Message sent is message received. If he was trying to be funny, he’s not very good at it. Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2003, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-for-men-to-cry-in-public/204398/285 "2003-10-13T19:21:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Uzi \* > Zenster, try getting a sense of humor upgrade. Your’s seems to be lacking. Seeing as how I’ve performed my own written material on stage and at comedy clubs, your advice is about as useful as a burkha in a nudist camp. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Uzi \* > An upgrade usually expands the ability of a program, or removes a bug. In this case the bug is up Zenster’s butt and presumably up your’s, too. Maybe such ‘low brow’ humour is beyond you. Oh, well. **Uzi** , before you type a post, try loading up with a fresh clip sometime. When ‘low brow’ humor has connecting eyebrows it ceases to be ‘humor.’ If you think **Scumpup** ’s posts are all in “humor,” then you’re the one who is shooting blanks. I’m beginning to think that **Scumpup** and **Dirty Kash** are old fishing buddies on that long line boat moored underneath our least favorite bridge. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scumpup \* > Zenster, > You are a pompous, sneering little man with an ugly way about you, and you really aren’t the least bit likable; but, I expect you hear that all the time. > If I were the emotional sort, I’d feel bad for you because of the sad, grubby little life you must lead. **Scumpup** , here’s a sincere hope that your own personal quest for truth and beauty may someday lead you to warily peek out from under the lid of that philosophical dumpster you call home. Before chancing to emerge in broad daylight for the first time, I also strongly urge you to scan your wardrobe for something a little more contemporary than that moldering animal skin and wooden club you’re so handy with. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-for-men-to-cry-in-public/204398/286 "2003-10-14T02:20:39Z")
::finally checks into thread with stupid annoying title to see why it is not buried on page 19 by now:: ::shakes head:: the **OP** : > [@](#): > > I think not That much is obvious. ---
**Author:** ![hansel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6bbea6/32.png) [@hansel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hansel)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-for-men-to-cry-in-public/204398/287 "2003-10-14T02:48:14Z")
Have any men dropped in to say that they wish they could cry? I know I do. I haven’t since I was 18, and that was once since I was 12. I feel like I’m missing a great release. Man, I’d be much more relaxed if I could have a good, weeping wail once a month. ---
**Author:** ![Ryle\_Dup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Ryle\_Dup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ryle_Dup)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-for-men-to-cry-in-public/204398/288 "2003-10-14T03:04:46Z")
Ev’rybuh’ees goh proh’blems, yuh dah av’ta be uh li’il crrrry’bay-bay abow’tit . ---
**Author:** ![Uzi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/91b2a8/32.png) [@Uzi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uzi)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-for-men-to-cry-in-public/204398/289 "2003-10-14T03:24:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zenster \* > **Uzi, before you type a post, try loading up with a fresh clip sometime. When ‘low brow’ humor has connecting eyebrows it ceases to be ‘humor.’ If you think Scumpup’s posts are all in “humor,” then you’re the one who is shooting blanks.** If you look at my post a couple back you’ll see I said, “When I first read his posts…” I thought they were humourous. Afterwards it looked like he was responding to the strong negative reaction he got from it. ---
**Author:** ![Computer\_Guru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ed655f/32.png) [@Computer\_Guru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Computer_Guru)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-for-men-to-cry-in-public/204398/290 "2003-10-14T03:25:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DirtyKash \* > \*\*I was with my recently-divorced friend “Ryan” at the mall today, and at the food court, while munching on some cheeseburgers and downing a few sodas, he started sobbing (like a little girl, mind you) in front of everyone because of his recent divorce. > > I faked an excuse and pretended to go to the washrooms, just to avoid the humiliation of being seen with a man who cries. > > So I ask you, is it okay for men to cry in public? I think not. \*\* Of course it is. Depression, lost a loved one, etc. There is no written rule that a man is only tough if he is mean, holds all his pain inside, and is very bossy, and whatnot. It’s much better for a man to let his pain and anquish out. If he let it in, it can hurt him later in life. I have a question for you? What kind of friend would make up an excuse and leave his friend in time of need? I thought friends were supposed to be there for each other. I’m sorry for sounding a little rough. I was just answering your question. It’s JMO. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-for-men-to-cry-in-public/204398/291 "2003-10-14T15:20:36Z")
Since I’m the uncouth caveman, I thought it might be interesting to point out that if you review the thread, you will find that Loo E.B used the expressions “fuck you”, “fuck off”, or other profanity directly at other members (not just me either) 4 times and Zenster did so once. Loo wished harm upon another member 1 time and Zenster did so twice. I chose these two because they are the two most vocal members of my fan club. (Whose your daddy, Looey? _Whose_ your daddy?) Go back and review the entire thread and count up the number of times I did those things for comparison. After you compare the numbers, you will understand why I find it laughable that these two, in particular, should take it upon themselves to castigate me. Not only do you not have control of your tears, gentlemen, it would appear you have no control of your anger either. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-for-men-to-cry-in-public/204398/292 "2003-10-14T15:23:11Z")
Aargh. What a careless grammatical error on my part. That should read "Who’s your daddy, Looey? _Who’s_ your daddy? That’s what I get for being in a hurry. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-for-men-to-cry-in-public/204398/293 "2003-10-14T15:42:56Z")
I don’t understand the question. Nor do I understand why you would want to know. Nor do I understand why you would post what you now claim were lies in an attempt at humor. An attempt that failed miserably, IMHO. Liars tell lies, trolls post inflamatory bullshit in the hope of stirring up a shit storm. Which category do you fall into? ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-for-men-to-cry-in-public/204398/294 "2003-10-14T15:47:04Z")
I don’t understand the question. Nor do I understand why you would want to know. Nor do I understand why you would post what you now claim were lies in an attempt at humor. An attempt that failed miserably, IMHO. Liars tell lies; trolls post inflamatory bullshit in the hope of stirring up a shit storm. To which category do you belong? ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-for-men-to-cry-in-public/204398/295 "2003-10-14T17:09:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by LouisB \* > \*\*I don’t understand the question. \*\* The sheer tonnage of things you don’t understand boggles the mind. For the record, nothing I posted was not a fact. I phrased it in an over-the-top fashion, but it is all correct. I was involved in a largish number of physical altercations in my teens and 20’s. I did work as a bouncer. I was, and am, employed part-time in law enforcement. Why you have trouble believing that is your problem, not mine. Such a personal history is pretty far from unique or unbelieveable. You can probably find thousands of people wearing badges with virtually the same history. Lots of cops even work as bouncers on their nights off from police work. I think you are simply so choked with impotent rage, that whatever I say, your are going to call me a liar or a troll, or curse at me some more, or sit there fulminating at your keyboard wishing you could post all the horrible things that you wish would happen to me. That, too, is your problem, not mine. You like that “troll” label and keep trying to hang it on me, but review the thread yourself. You are the potty-mouth wishing death on others, not me. When you can control your own bad behavior, I’ll give a picosecond of consideration to your opinion of my behavior. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-for-men-to-cry-in-public/204398/296 "2003-10-14T17:46:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Uzi \* > If you look at my post a couple back you’ll see I said, “When I first read his posts…” I thought they were humourous. Afterwards it looked like he was responding to the strong negative reaction he got from it. You’re one of the few who thought they were humorous. Glad to see you’ve reloaded. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-for-men-to-cry-in-public/204398/297 "2003-10-14T18:02:40Z")
**Scumpup** , I’ll purchase you a clue at no extra charge. Phrasing stuff in an “over-the-top fashion” in order to elicit a greater response is also known as provoking people. I’ve seen more than one person banned for similar activity at these boards. You may wish to take this under consideration in your future posts. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-for-men-to-cry-in-public/204398/298 "2003-10-14T18:27:51Z")
I retracted my death statement, with apologies for making it in the first place. I doubt many people would consider “fuck off and die” a serious death wish, but I did say it and I did retract it. In case you missed it, I hereby retract it again, and with full apologies to all concerned. As to the rest, I quit. I surrender. I give up. You win. Go and beat your chest while issuing loud cries of supremacy. ---
**Author:** ![KellyM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/57b2e6/32.png) [@KellyM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KellyM)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-for-men-to-cry-in-public/204398/299 "2003-10-14T18:43:05Z")
**Zenster** is being charitable. The correct term for that is “trolling”. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-for-men-to-cry-in-public/204398/300 "2003-10-14T18:55:59Z")
And since when was being a “potty mouth” a bad thing in the Pit? Esprix [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-for-men-to-cry-in-public/204398.md?page=14) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-for-men-to-cry-in-public/204398.md?page=16)