# Is it OK if I wear my late father's military pin? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 16, 2004, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-if-i-wear-my-late-fathers-military-pin/264620 "2004-09-16T00:14:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![katie1341](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/91b2a8/32.png) [@katie1341](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/katie1341)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2004, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-if-i-wear-my-late-fathers-military-pin/264620/1 "2004-09-16T00:14:39Z")
My dad diead a few weeks ago, and my mom divied up the few items of jewelry he kept among my sibs and me. He didn’t keep a lot of stuff, and what he did was clearly important to him. The two things that I got are a tie tack that is a tiny lump of coal (he was a lung doctor and treated a lot of coal miners, one of his regulars gave it to him) and one of his Navy pins. It is a caduceaus- I think that’s what it’s called, the medical snake around the staff thing- over an anchor. He was a ship’s doctor in the navy. ``` I'd like to wear the pin, but I've never served in the military, and I'm not sure whenther it would be disrespectful for me to wear it. I'd like to- it's a nice little pin, and it obviously meant a lot to my dad,- but I don't want to if I shouldn't. Are there rules on this kind of thing? Is it OK for me to wear it, or am I risking having my ass kicked by a sailor? ``` ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2004, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-if-i-wear-my-late-fathers-military-pin/264620/2 "2004-09-16T01:57:16Z")
IANAMD (I Am Not A Military Doper), but I think that if you were to wear the pin as reminder and tribute to your father, no one in the military would take offense at it. If, however, you only want to wear it because it looks “cool” in your nipple piercing, they might have a problem with that. What you could do is put a small, yellow ribbon under the pin. That way you’d be saying that you were wearing the pin in rememberance of your father. ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2004, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-if-i-wear-my-late-fathers-military-pin/264620/3 "2004-09-16T02:28:29Z")
> [@Tuckerfan](#): > > What you could do is put a small, yellow ribbon under the pin. That way you’d be saying that you were wearing the pin in rememberance of your father. Is this a standard way of indicating such a situation? (I don’t want to be awkward, it’s just that the majority of comments I can find online involving the yellow ribbon are of a distinctly political bent - and maybe using a symbol so politicised, whatever its origins, isn’t a good idea) ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2004, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-if-i-wear-my-late-fathers-military-pin/264620/4 "2004-09-16T02:49:00Z")
> [@GorillaMan](#): > > Is this a standard way of indicating such a situation? (I don’t want to be awkward, it’s just that the majority of comments I can find online involving the yellow ribbon are of a distinctly political bent - and maybe using a symbol so politicised, whatever its origins, isn’t a good idea) It’s pretty common around here, and I think that the main politicizing of it has to do with people wrapping yellow ribbons around things that are next to a giant Elect Bush or Die! type sign. Just wearing her father’s pin with a yellow ribbon behind it, without any political slogans affixed to her person, wouldn’t be taken as support for Bush or the Iraq war. After all, even people _opposed_ to the war, have stated that they want the soldiers to come home safe. And anyone who would launch into a political tirade against someone wearing a pin as a rememberance of their recently departed father, is a Grade-A jerk who deserves a swift kick to the genitals. ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2004, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-if-i-wear-my-late-fathers-military-pin/264620/5 "2004-09-16T02:56:43Z")
Fair enough. I’ve never fully understood the historical context or meaning of the yellow ribbons - and further google shows that few others do, either 🙂 FWIW, we have our own constant misunderstandings which reappear when a reporter is feeling lazy (such as white poppies, or the Red Cross being atheist). In none of these situations is a relgious lecture appropriate. (I’ll save it for later 😉 ) ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2004, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-if-i-wear-my-late-fathers-military-pin/264620/6 "2004-09-16T03:02:16Z")
> [@GorillaMan](#): > > Fair enough. I’ve never fully understood the historical context or meaning of the yellow ribbons - and further google shows that few others do, either 🙂 > > FWIW, we have our own constant misunderstandings which reappear when a reporter is feeling lazy (such as white poppies, or the Red Cross being atheist). In none of these situations is a relgious lecture appropriate. (I’ll save it for later 😉 ) Screw Google, [just ask **Cecil**](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3_008.html). > [@](#): > > Yellow ribbons first emerged as a national symbol in January 1981, when they sprouted like weeds to welcome home the Americans held hostage in Iran. The whole thing was started by Penelope (Penne) Laingen, wife of Bruce Laingen, U.S. charge d’affaires in Teheran. Ms. Laingen says she was inspired by two things: (1) the song “Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Ole Oak Tree,” written in 1972 by Irwin Levine and Larry Brown and made famous by Tony Orlando and Dawn, and (2) the prior example of one Gail Magruder. ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2004, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-if-i-wear-my-late-fathers-military-pin/264620/7 "2004-09-16T03:08:58Z")
Dammit, I wish Cecil was in league with Google, it’d make things much easier… ---
**Author:** ![David\_Simmons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9de053/32.png) [@David\_Simmons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/David_Simmons)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2004, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-if-i-wear-my-late-fathers-military-pin/264620/8 "2004-09-16T03:44:53Z")
There is no question that the popularity of yellow ribbons soared in the 1980’s but the idea goes back a lot [further than that.](http://www.hood.army.mil/1stcavdiv/soldier%20and%20family%20readiness%20center/yellow%20ribbon%20history.htm). Here is a version similar to the one [we used to sing](http://ingeb.org/songs/aroundhe.html%5B/url) as Aviation Cadets. It was particularly popular when sung while marching through the residential parts of Beloit, WI during College Training. PS. Go ahead and wear the pin. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2004, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-if-i-wear-my-late-fathers-military-pin/264620/9 "2004-09-16T03:53:22Z")
I _am_ a military doper. You can wear the pin. There is no law that applies to a civilian that says you _can’t_. Some may delve into debate over the “fraudulent wear of pins you didn’t earn”, but I say that anyone who dares offer that argument also deserves a swift kick to the nads. You’re not trying to pass yourself off as a real doctor, you are wearing a pin in rememberance of your father. Wear that pin, and wear it proudly. Tripler I am truly sorry to hear of his passing. My condolences. ::salute:: ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2004, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-if-i-wear-my-late-fathers-military-pin/264620/10 "2004-09-16T03:55:45Z")
> [@David Simmons](#): > > There is no question that the popularity of yellow ribbons soared in the 1980’s but the idea goes back a lot [further than that.](http://www.hood.army.mil/1stcavdiv/soldier%20and%20family%20readiness%20center/yellow%20ribbon%20history.htm). The _mythology_ goes back further. A simple Google for ‘yellow ribbon’ will show some of it’s history . BTW all I could find from **David Simmons** ’s link was a a determination to sownload software… ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2004, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-if-i-wear-my-late-fathers-military-pin/264620/11 "2004-09-16T03:59:41Z")
There you have it, **Tripler** , an active member of the military, says it’s okay, and **David Simmons** , a WW II vet, says it’s okay. Anybody gives you any lip, you tell 'em to get bent. ---
**Author:** ![David\_Simmons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9de053/32.png) [@David\_Simmons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/David_Simmons)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2004, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-if-i-wear-my-late-fathers-military-pin/264620/12 "2004-09-16T06:31:06Z")
> [@GorillaMan](#): > > BTW all I could find from **David Simmons** ’s link was a a determination to sownload software… I don’t know what happened to the song link in my previous post. It knocks me off line for some reason. [Here it is again](http://ingeb.org/songs/aroundhe.html) and this one works for me. Of course the other one did too, for a while at least. ---
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2004, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-if-i-wear-my-late-fathers-military-pin/264620/13 "2004-09-16T07:26:08Z")
I can’t see how it would be illegal or immoral in any way, unless you were wearing it to make some kind of political point based on his service instead of as a rememberence. The only thing I would suggest is you find a way to draw attention to it to make clear it’s in honor. (Otherwise it’s a fashion statement) My dad left me all his medals and pins from Nam and I have them displayed on felt “push boards” and mounted in framed cases. Most of his were the type that had 2-4 bendable studs that were usually only worn on his Dress Uniform. Any active or retired US military can probably beter describe the pins. I trust you’ll know what I’m talking about. ---
**Author:** ![six\_personalities](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3da27b/32.png) [@six\_personalities](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/six_personalities)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2004, 9:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-if-i-wear-my-late-fathers-military-pin/264620/14 "2004-09-16T09:41:09Z")
Yep.I’d say wear it.As long as you’re not trying to pass it off that it’s YOUR pin that you’ve earned,but in memory of your father ☹ Commiserations on Dad’s passing. ---
**Author:** ![Sean\_Factotum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Sean\_Factotum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sean_Factotum)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2004, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-if-i-wear-my-late-fathers-military-pin/264620/15 "2004-09-17T00:06:18Z")
> [@duffer](#): > > My dad left me all his medals and pins from Nam and I have them displayed on felt “push boards” and mounted in framed cases. Most of his were the type that had 2-4 bendable studs that were usually only worn on his Dress Uniform. > > Any active or retired US military can probably beter describe the pins. I trust you’ll know what I’m talking about. If you, or anyone else wants to identify the medals and ribbons you have, try looking here first. > **[U.S. Department of Defense](https://www.defense.gov/)** > > The Department of Defense is America's largest government agency. With our military tracing its roots back to pre-Revolutionary times, the department has grown and evolved with our nation. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2004, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-if-i-wear-my-late-fathers-military-pin/264620/16 "2004-09-16T20:44:19Z")
Ex military Doper. My gut reaction to nonmilitary types wearing military stuff is an inward, “no no no no no no no…” I damn near slugged my anti-military brother when I caught him wearing bits of my uniform as casual attire and I tend to be pretty understanding about most things. :: covers 'nads :: Mixing up with a yellow ribbon suggests that you are anticipating the return of someone from a deployment–certainly not the case. (condolences, etc. for your loss by the way). Of course, your father’s pin is now in your possession and you can do what you like with it, but if your intentions of wearing it are purely for rememberance purposes, might I suggest an alternative of displaying it to yourself in a location where you hang out (office at home or work, adorning a framed photo of Dad, etc.) My reservation about you wearing it is not based on your character, but instead on what others might think it means. I would hate for someone to find adorning themselves with military eye candy as cool fashion statement, and to think that your doing so is a neat idea. Just my opinion, y’unnnerstand. ---
**Author:** ![katie1341](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/91b2a8/32.png) [@katie1341](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/katie1341)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2004, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-if-i-wear-my-late-fathers-military-pin/264620/17 "2004-09-16T21:37:07Z")
I don’t have any political agenda in mind, I just thought it would be a nice rememberance of my dad. I do have a watch and a ratty old cardigan as well as the coal pin, so it’s not like the military pin is the only thing I have, and I really don’t want to offend members of the military by wearing it. I do have a nice photo of him in uniform, and I could attach the pin to it- great idea! ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2004, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-if-i-wear-my-late-fathers-military-pin/264620/18 "2004-09-17T02:06:13Z")
> [@Inigo Montoya](#): > > Mixing up with a yellow ribbon suggests that you are anticipating the return of someone from a deployment–certainly not the case. (condolences, etc. for your loss by the way). Good point. May I suggest a black ribbon?