# Is it ok to ask out a girl at the grocery store? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 18, 2017, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-ask-out-a-girl-at-the-grocery-store/791591 "2017-07-18T19:40:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![jaycat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jaycat/32/3015_2.png) [@jaycat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jaycat)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2017, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-ask-out-a-girl-at-the-grocery-store/791591/21 "2017-07-19T03:50:42Z")
I met my girlfriend at the grocery store. She had lima beans and I had corn. When our carts collided… Succotash! (apologies to Redd Foxx.) ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2017, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-ask-out-a-girl-at-the-grocery-store/791591/22 "2017-07-19T03:54:27Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > Just remember that vegetables are sensual. People are sensuous. **Food fight!!!** ---
**Author:** ![Biotop](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biotop/32/321_2.png) [@Biotop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biotop)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2017, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-ask-out-a-girl-at-the-grocery-store/791591/23 "2017-07-19T04:53:26Z")
The Produce Department is a good place to get dates. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2017, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-ask-out-a-girl-at-the-grocery-store/791591/24 "2017-07-19T05:47:33Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > You aren’t supposed to shit in the grocery store. It irritates the other customers. I don’t eat at the grocery store, so it’s perfectly OK to shit there. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2017, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-ask-out-a-girl-at-the-grocery-store/791591/25 "2017-07-19T05:50:23Z")
> [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > Super markets are one of the best places to meet girls as far as I am concerned. Gas stations with mini marts are up there as well. I’ve heard this my whole life. Yet, I’ve never met a couple who have met this way. Nor do I understand how “so many” people are hooking up this way. Frankly, I think it’s a myth stated by 70’s sitcoms. (There are exceptions, sure. But for the most part, I think it’s rare at best.) ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2017, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-ask-out-a-girl-at-the-grocery-store/791591/26 "2017-07-19T06:06:42Z")
> [@Biotop](#): > > The Produce Department is a good place to get dates. OK but I’ve got a question; if you meet women in the Produce Department, and they suggest dates, should they pay? ---
**Author:** ![Biotop](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biotop/32/321_2.png) [@Biotop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biotop)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2017, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-ask-out-a-girl-at-the-grocery-store/791591/27 "2017-07-19T06:14:58Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > OK but I’ve got a question; if you meet women in the Produce Department, and they suggest dates, should they pay? I once asked a pretty girl to help me find the canned tomatoes. Before I knew what was happening we were walking down the aisle. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2017, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-ask-out-a-girl-at-the-grocery-store/791591/28 "2017-07-19T07:17:51Z")
> [@Grrr](#): > > I’ve heard this my whole life. Yet, I’ve never met a couple who have met this way. Nor do I understand how “so many” people are hooking up this way. > Frankly, I think it’s a myth stated by 70’s sitcoms. (There are exceptions, sure. But for the most part, I think it’s rare at best.) I had one long term relationship with a girl I met while I was buying gas. To be honest most of the phone numbers I picked up while grocery shopping never turned into dates but several did. Talking about how to cook things is an easy conversation to start. If I had been single longer I am pretty sure I would have had a lot more super market dates. I get flirted with more while shopping than anywhere else I go. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2017, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-ask-out-a-girl-at-the-grocery-store/791591/29 "2017-07-19T09:27:45Z")
> [@Biotop](#): > > I once asked a pretty girl to help me find the canned tomatoes. Before I knew what was happening we were walking down the aisle. Once I was in a hurry but there was a huge wait at the deli counter. I guess I must have looked anxious because a girl took pity on me and gave me her number. ---
**Author:** ![anchie33](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dec6dc/32.png) [@anchie33](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anchie33)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2017, 10:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-ask-out-a-girl-at-the-grocery-store/791591/30 "2017-07-19T10:44:55Z")
Of course, it is ok! 🙂 If you are introvert, maybe read some of the [guides on how to approach women](https://www.cardportal.com/Login.aspx?ln=en/), but maybe you can just be normal and be what you are. Women expect from you to know what you want, be relaxed and just ask her to go out, very simple 🙂 Tell us did she accepted … ---
**Author:** ![Shalmanese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shalmanese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shalmanese)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2017, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-ask-out-a-girl-at-the-grocery-store/791591/31 "2017-07-19T11:08:18Z")
I’m going to disagree with most of the other people in the thread and say that it’s not ok. If the sole basis of you wanting to approach her is that you’ve noticed that she’s pretty, you’re probably not the first person in her life to have made that observation. Unfortunately, in the society we live in now, women who are approached by random men are expected to engage in 2 - 3 minutes of pleasant conversation or be labeled a “bitch” or “stuck up”. You’re basically asserting that, on the basis of this single observation of your own desire, women around you are obligated to give you coerced emotional labor, uncompensated. Each individual interaction might not add up to much but, added up over the lifetime of a woman who draws attention, the pattern of interactions significantly affects who she is and how she interacts with the world. Is it unfortunate that it is this way? Sure. You’re not (necessarily) responsible for perpetuating a misogynistic culture but you do have to acknowledge that you live inside of one and that your actions can have unintended consequences. Does this mean nobody should talk to anybody at grocery stores ever? No, but it should be on the basis of more than just appearance. Think about it this way, if she were just an average looking woman or a man (assuming you’re straight), would you still consider talking to her? She could have an interesting ingredient in your cart that you’ve always wondered how to cook, or she could be looking confusedly between two products that you have expertise in. There are plenty of legitimate reasons to strike up conversation that stem from a desire for genuine connection rather than you seeing a complete stranger and needing her to fill some relationship sized hole in your heart that she never consented to. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2017, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-ask-out-a-girl-at-the-grocery-store/791591/32 "2017-07-19T11:43:29Z")
> [@Shalmanese](#): > > I’m going to disagree with most of the other people in the thread and say that it’s not ok. If the sole basis of you wanting to approach her is that you’ve noticed that she’s pretty, you’re probably not the first person in her life to have made that observation. > > Unfortunately, in the society we live in now, women who are approached by random men are expected to engage in 2 - 3 minutes of pleasant conversation or be labeled a “bitch” or “stuck up”. You’re basically asserting that, on the basis of this single observation of your own desire, women around you are obligated to give you coerced emotional labor, uncompensated. Each individual interaction might not add up to much but, added up over the lifetime of a woman who draws attention, the pattern of interactions significantly affects who she is and how she interacts with the world. > > Is it unfortunate that it is this way? Sure. You’re not (necessarily) responsible for perpetuating a misogynistic culture but you do have to acknowledge that you live inside of one and that your actions can have unintended consequences. > > Does this mean nobody should talk to anybody at grocery stores ever? No, but it should be on the basis of more than just appearance. Think about it this way, if she were just an average looking woman or a man (assuming you’re straight), would you still consider talking to her? She could have an interesting ingredient in your cart that you’ve always wondered how to cook, or she could be looking confusedly between two products that you have expertise in. There are plenty of legitimate reasons to strike up conversation that stem from a desire for genuine connection rather than you seeing a complete stranger and needing her to fill some relationship sized hole in your heart that she never consented to. This is an excellent post! ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2017, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-ask-out-a-girl-at-the-grocery-store/791591/33 "2017-07-19T11:57:31Z")
> [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > I had one long term relationship with a girl I met while I was buying gas. To be honest most of the phone numbers I picked up while grocery shopping never turned into dates but several did. Talking about how to cook things is an easy conversation to start. If I had been single longer I am pretty sure I would have had a lot more super market dates. I get flirted with more while shopping than anywhere else I go. > [@Shalmanese](#): > > I’m going to disagree with most of the other people in the thread and say that it’s not ok. If the sole basis of you wanting to approach her is that you’ve noticed that she’s pretty, you’re probably not the first person in her life to have made that observation. > > Unfortunately, in the society we live in now, women who are approached by random men are expected to engage in 2 - 3 minutes of pleasant conversation or be labeled a “bitch” or “stuck up”. You’re basically asserting that, on the basis of this single observation of your own desire, women around you are obligated to give you coerced emotional labor, uncompensated. Each individual interaction might not add up to much but, added up over the lifetime of a woman who draws attention, the pattern of interactions significantly affects who she is and how she interacts with the world. > > Is it unfortunate that it is this way? Sure. You’re not (necessarily) responsible for perpetuating a misogynistic culture but you do have to acknowledge that you live inside of one and that your actions can have unintended consequences. > > Does this mean nobody should talk to anybody at grocery stores ever? No, but it should be on the basis of more than just appearance. Think about it this way, if she were just an average looking woman or a man (assuming you’re straight), would you still consider talking to her? She could have an interesting ingredient in your cart that you’ve always wondered how to cook, or she could be looking confusedly between two products that you have expertise in. There are plenty of legitimate reasons to strike up conversation that stem from a desire for genuine connection rather than you seeing a complete stranger and needing her to fill some relationship sized hole in your heart that she never consented to. I want to point out that these posts don’t contradict each other. Honeybadger is, near as I can tell, a friendly old guy. Someone that talks to people–not just pretty girls–everywhere, especially places like in line in the gas station and in the grocery store. If you like to talk to people, you end up in situations where asking for someone’s number is a pretty obvious next step sometimes–not because a girl was pretty, but because you hit it off. But if you never talk to people at the grocery store, you probably shouldn’t have the sole exception be “pretty girls”. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2017, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-ask-out-a-girl-at-the-grocery-store/791591/34 "2017-07-19T12:03:13Z")
> [@TheSundial](#): > > Today at the grocery store I met the eyes of a pretty African-American girl I got nothing. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2017, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-ask-out-a-girl-at-the-grocery-store/791591/35 "2017-07-19T12:50:13Z")
I think the OP means “pretty” in the sense of “to a moderately high degree”. She was rather African-American. But not totally. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2017, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-ask-out-a-girl-at-the-grocery-store/791591/36 "2017-07-19T13:42:22Z")
> [@MandaJo](#): > > I want to point out that these posts don’t contradict each other. Honeybadger is, near as I can tell, a friendly old guy. Someone that talks to people–not just pretty girls–everywhere, especially places like in line in the gas station and in the grocery store. If you like to talk to people, you end up in situations where asking for someone’s number is a pretty obvious next step sometimes–not because a girl was pretty, but because you hit it off. > > But if you never talk to people at the grocery store, you probably shouldn’t have the sole exception be “pretty girls”. ``` I think you accurately summed it up. I do tend to fall into conversations quite easiy. And the other thing you mentioned was the attractive scale. After my divorce I was much more concerned with personality than being hot. I think I tended to avoid hot women for several years opting more for a much more conservative easy going look. ``` ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2017, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-ask-out-a-girl-at-the-grocery-store/791591/37 "2017-07-19T13:51:19Z")
Assuming you are referring to a woman, and not jailbait: I would suggest first nodding and smiling at her. Next time, say hello and see if she responds. Third time, ask her if she would like to get a cup of coffee and have a talk. If at any time she doesn’t indicate interest, drop it like a hot rock. I’ve been on the receiving end of unwanted attention and guys who don’t take NO for an answer. It’s annoying to have to say “I said NO” very loudly five or six times to get the message across, and it does attract other people’s attention. ---
**Author:** ![Surreal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@Surreal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surreal)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2017, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-ask-out-a-girl-at-the-grocery-store/791591/38 "2017-07-19T14:54:51Z")
Hang out in the cucumber aisle. ---
**Author:** ![Trancephalic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trancephalic/32/380_2.png) [@Trancephalic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trancephalic)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2017, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-ask-out-a-girl-at-the-grocery-store/791591/39 "2017-07-19T16:10:55Z")
> [@Biotop](#): > > The Produce Department is a good place to get dates. Tart and pruny! ---
**Author:** ![PastTense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pasttense/32/14550_2.png) [@PastTense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PastTense)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2017, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-ask-out-a-girl-at-the-grocery-store/791591/40 "2017-07-19T16:37:01Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > I’ve been on the receiving end of unwanted attention and guys who don’t take NO for an answer. It’s annoying to have to say “I said NO” very loudly five or six times to get the message across, and it does attract other people’s attention. The guy could simply be thinking you are “playing hard to get”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-ask-out-a-girl-at-the-grocery-store/791591.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-ask-out-a-girl-at-the-grocery-store/791591.md?page=3)