# Is it OK to be homophobic ? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [April 5, 2002, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-be-homophobic/102086 "2002-04-05T22:41:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-be-homophobic/102086/21 "2002-04-05T23:31:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by POWER\_station \* > \*\*My policy is however that what two adults do in their privacy are their own business and not mine. But I don’t have to like what they do. \*\* while you’re coming up with an explanation of what exactly is a ‘gay lifestyle’, please explain this little part, as well. “I don’t have to liek what they do”. Again, as far as I can tell, human sexuality is generally covered by the concept of touching (in some way) some ones genetalia. Now the touching can be with hands, your own genetalia, tongue, nose, objects, feathers, silk sc arv es (oops, got sidetracked there for a moment). But, again, it’s people touching ‘naughty bits’. And, in case you weren’t aware, heterosexual couples engage in the same sorts of activities. The **only** real difference that I can glimmer on (other than perhaps frequency of various combinations or styles), is the genetalia of the other person. IOW, if you’re male (and you seem to be), it’s likely that you’ve engaged in at least **some** of the behavior that homosexual males do. Probably, tho, with some one with opposite parts. So, it doesn’t seem to be the **acts** themselves that bothers you, it’s with whom they’re done, eh? and, of course, unless they’re forcing you to watch, I"m really quite unclear how this becomes a ‘lifestyle’ or issue that permeates the rest of their lives to the extent that you feel comfortable/correct in determining things like their ability to marry, adopt, work, etc. PUtting it bluntly, ‘what’s your damage here?’ ---
**Author:** ![Newton\_meter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/57b2e6/32.png) [@Newton\_meter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Newton_meter)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-be-homophobic/102086/22 "2002-04-05T23:51:27Z")
> [@](#): > > _Binarydrone:_ > **Another trend that I see a lot is that you will have a person defending gay rights preface the statement by establishing their own heterosexuality. As if this somehow add weight or credibility to their statements.** Well, I’m not homosexual, but… Nevermind. Don’t be so hard on people who say that. I think some of us might have just a touch of homophobia, and wouldn’t want anyone to think that we were, you know, not that there’s anything wrong with that. But some of us just want to immediately deflect the criticism “you only say that because you’re gay”. And some of us are probably a little wistful for what we’re missing. Personally, I figure it would be hypocritical of me to be homophobic and still masturbate so damn much. Ooops, did I just say that out loud? ---
**Author:** ![hansel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6bbea6/32.png) [@hansel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hansel)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2002, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-be-homophobic/102086/23 "2002-04-06T00:06:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Binarydrone \*\*\* > Another trend that I see a lot is that you will have a person defending gay rights preface the statement by establishing their own heterosexuality. As if this somehow add weight or credibility to their statements. > \*\* It does add credibility for the speaker to establish that they’re not gay, because it establishes that they have no immediate self-interest in defending gay rights. Their view is (presumably) a particular moral view about the universe, and not naked self-preservation or advancement. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2002, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-be-homophobic/102086/24 "2002-04-06T00:31:11Z")
I suppose if you look at it as a lifestyle, the case of my brother and me is illustrative. He’s got a family, a house in the suburbs, is raising two up-and-coming baseball players, and occasionally coaches the team. For a living, he runs his own swimming pool business. In his other leisure hours he likes to go surfing, dirt-biking, and watching shows like South Park. I’m very different. I’m married with a step-daughter who’s almost out of the house, and utterly interested in any of the activities listed above, except surfing, which I may now try, since I have had my eyes lasered and can see. I work as a computer programmer. Brother and I are as different as can be, but I still respect his life choices, even though I would not have made the same choices. And I think it’s about the same with gay guys. I really DO NOT want to hear about how they do it, what I can imagine is more than I want to know. But even so, I’ve often encountered gays who were witty, intelligent, or in some other way brought somethine very positive to the group. So…I can certainly accept gay guys as friends, although there are aspects of their lives in which I have no interest. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2002, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-be-homophobic/102086/25 "2002-04-06T00:35:09Z")
> [@](#): > > My policy is however that what two adults do in their privacy are their own business and not mine. But I don’t have to like what they do. If you correctly recognize that it’s none of your business, then why do you have to have an opinion about it at all? Just as you don’t have to “like” it, you don’t have to “dislike” it, either. You can just live your life without reference to it, because they’re in their bedroom, not in yours, and you correctly note that what they do there is none of their business. It’s like you’re saying “It’s not my business but I’ll judge it anyway.” Why not spend your energy judging or worrying about something that _is_ your business instead? I would refuse to allow gay people to get married and have children for the same reasons I would refuse to allow straight people to do so – lack of capacity, irresponsibility, a history of abusive behavior, etc. etc. But in the absence of any evidence tending to show that gay people are inherently unsuitable to be spouses and parents – and make no mistake, there is no such evidence – I see no defensible rationale for denying them the right to do those things – or any other thing that any responsible member of society has the right to do. ---
**Author:** ![POWER\_station](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@POWER\_station](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/POWER_station)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2002, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-be-homophobic/102086/26 "2002-04-06T00:42:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jodi \* > **If you correctly recognize that it’s none of your business, then why do you have to have an opinion about it at all** because I like to keep it that way. That it remains in the privacy. ---
**Author:** ![Newton\_meter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/57b2e6/32.png) [@Newton\_meter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Newton_meter)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2002, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-be-homophobic/102086/27 "2002-04-06T00:46:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by javaman \* > **I really DO NOT want to hear about how they do it, what I can imagine is more than I want to know.** I’ve heard it’s kind of like sword fighting. Oh, you _don’t_ want to know. Forget I mentioned it. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2002, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-be-homophobic/102086/28 "2002-04-06T00:46:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by POWER\_station \* > The problem is that people that are very liberal and “tolerant” tend to be very intolerant toward people that don’t have the same opinion as them in this issue. That’s because (generally speaking) liberals tend to be repulsed by intolerance and intolerant ideas, such as “I don’t approve of their [homosexual] lifestyle.” Generally speaking, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2002, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-be-homophobic/102086/29 "2002-04-06T00:48:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by POWER\_station \* > \*\* > > because I like to keep it that way. That it remains in the privacy. \*\* huh? Are gay folks grabbing you off the streets to tell you details about their sexual habits? (are straight people?) If they’re not, then what’s happening is happening in your own head, presumably you’d have control over that. Don’t want to ‘imagine’ what they do to and for each other? then don’t. simple as that. ---
**Author:** ![Newton\_meter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/57b2e6/32.png) [@Newton\_meter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Newton_meter)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2002, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-be-homophobic/102086/30 "2002-04-06T00:48:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by POWER\_station \* > \*\*because I like to keep it that way. That it remains in the privacy. \*\* But you’re not talking about homosexuals doing it in the road, are you? It really is private, except that every time you see them, it makes you think about them, and what they do. Yuck, huh? Too damn bad. ---
**Author:** ![ITR\_champion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c67d28/32.png) [@ITR\_champion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ITR_champion)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2002, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-be-homophobic/102086/31 "2002-04-06T00:50:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by POWER\_station \* > \*\* > My policy is however that what two adults do in their privacy are their own business and not mine. But I don’t have to like what they do. > > Being a bit homophobic doesn’t mean the same as a person that are attacking gays on the street. > > I’m against that gays should be allowed to marry and adopt children and don’t see upon my self as a liberal on these matters. > \*\* Something is legal if the government doesn’t impose a punishment for it. Currently, gays can not get married or adopt children (in most states). In my opinion, this amounts to a punishment, so in other words, homosexuality is still illegal. If you want to believe that homosexuality is “abnormal”, that’s fine, but the government in the United States isn’t supposed to enforce belief about what’s normal and what’s abnormal. The government is supposed to protect the people, so there’s no justification for legally punishing people for being homosexual. Now I personally I don’t have any problems with homosexuality. There are many sexual behaviors that I view as abnormal, but I wouldn’t want to punish people who engage in those behaviors by taking away their marriage and adoption rights. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2002, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-be-homophobic/102086/32 "2002-04-06T00:55:49Z")
> [@](#): > > Because I like to keep it that way. That it remains in the privacy. So you think if you _did_ like it, it would not “remain in the privacy”? Surely you see that this makes no sense. Presumably, if you are not gay, you do not dislike straight sex. Do you have trouble with many people not keeping their straight sex “in the privacy,” just because you like it or approve of it? In an ideal world, what we do in our bedrooms, and with whom, is your bidness and nobody else’s. It’s _all_ “in the privacy;” that’s the point: If it doesn’t affect you, you have no reason to care. You do not make sex more or less private by announcing you dislike it – as if you’d have that power anyway – nor does it become more private if it is gay or straight. It’s _all_ private. And all none of your business. (Unless it’s you having it.) ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2002, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-be-homophobic/102086/33 "2002-04-06T00:57:37Z")
> [@](#): > > In an ideal world, what we do in our bedrooms, and with whom, is your bidness and nobody else’s. Sheesh. Make that “_our_ bidness.” It pretty clearly isn’t your bidness, which is actually my point. ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2002, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-be-homophobic/102086/34 "2002-04-06T01:00:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jodi \* > Fiat Justitia > \*\* Jodi, You’re back!🙂 ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2002, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-be-homophobic/102086/35 "2002-04-06T01:08:49Z")
Hey, it’s a free country (here in the US, that is). If you are repulsed by gay people, the thought police will not drag you away in the middle of the night. You’ll be cheating yourself of getting to know decent, warm people, but it’s your loss, not ours. If you don’t like homosexuality, don’t engage in it, is my advice. At the risk of blowing my image as a heartless SOB… {{{{{Jodi}}}}}}} WB! ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2002, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-be-homophobic/102086/36 "2002-04-06T01:17:02Z")
Hugs? Is that a come on? Are you harassing me with – _gay sex_??? But wait. You’re smart, level-headed, funny, and built like a brick shithouse. Heck, hug me again! Better keep holding me – though I am _not enjoying it at all_ – until I can get over the ickiness of being in very close proximity to a big warm strong guy. I warn you: This may take a while. 🙂 Thanks, GB and AMARINTH. I didn’t think anybody knew I’d been gone. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2002, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-be-homophobic/102086/37 "2002-04-06T01:23:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jodi \* > \*\*Thanks, GB and AMARINTH. I didn’t think anybody knew I’d been gone. 🙂 \*\* sniff. of course _somebody else_ stepped in to a PIT thread just to say "Hi, welcome back’ but does **she** get noticed, hugged, acknowledged??? hmmmm?? sigh. always the bridesmaid, never the bride. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2002, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-be-homophobic/102086/38 "2002-04-06T01:31:57Z")
WRING, you I hug until your stuffing comes out. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2002, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-be-homophobic/102086/39 "2002-04-06T01:54:25Z")
Well Mr. Powerstation, it sounds to me like maybe you’re misusing the word “homphobic.” If you find the image of two guys boinking each other to be somewhat icky, that’s not homophobia, that’s personal taste. Nothing’s wrong with having preferences. If you think less of people because they feel differently or don’t share your preferences, that’s something else. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2002, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-be-homophobic/102086/40 "2002-04-06T02:54:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Esprix \* > **Please, tell me more about this lifestyle I lead. It sounds exciting!** First, you have to wear plaid flannel shirts the bulk of the time. Or tutus. But never the two together. Next, you may enjoy early '60s female Motown musicians, Barbara Streisand, show tunes and bad '70s disco. Nothing else. Ever. You have your choice of big hairy macho guys in leather or smaller, svelte Asian guys. Or both. You may recruit all sorts of people to this lifestyle using orbital mind-control lasers. You must keep your lifestyle secret, lest you cause emotional trauma to delicate wilting flowers like the OP. HOWEVER: In return, you get 3 superpowers, a spandex costume and the ability to fight crime in all it’s myriad forms! Your bonus super-power will be to make delicate wilting flowers like the OP get the vapors should you show even the barest _hint_ of affection towards another male. You want to show your dad your undying affection so you give him a firm handshake? **POWER\_station** ’ll faint and have to be revived with sal volitale(sp). A hug could stun an ENTIRE CITY BLOCK! AND A KISS ON THE CHEEK COULD DOOM US ALL! YOU FOOL! YOU’RE PLAYING WITH FORCES YOU CANNOT COMPREH…ahem. I’m ok now that that’s out of my system (Plus the Asian guys or Bears thing. That should be a plus) Fenris, lifestyle arbiter supreme! [sub]who notes that OTHER people get hugs[/sub] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-be-homophobic/102086.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-be-homophobic/102086.md?page=3)