# Is it OK to lie to vegetarians about what they are eating? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 17, 2005, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-lie-to-vegetarians-about-what-they-are-eating/331537 "2005-11-17T20:09:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-lie-to-vegetarians-about-what-they-are-eating/331537/21 "2005-11-17T20:48:14Z")
If you lie about using lard instead of sesame oil and bring the dish to a kosher/Muslim dinner, you will be punished with the wrath of G-d or Allah. Seriously, that is a strict no-no. ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-lie-to-vegetarians-about-what-they-are-eating/331537/22 "2005-11-17T20:51:23Z")
I’m a contrarian, but I can only get along with all other posters on this issue. Nope, it’s not OK to lie. If you screwed up, just say so. It’s not like your guests are going to hate you forever because they had to pass on a dish in which you mistakenly put something they don’t want to eat… ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-lie-to-vegetarians-about-what-they-are-eating/331537/23 "2005-11-17T21:00:40Z")
Don’t lie to anyone about anything. A pretty easy maxim to live by and one that will serve you well. ---
**Author:** ![Amaranta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Amaranta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amaranta)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-lie-to-vegetarians-about-what-they-are-eating/331537/24 "2005-11-17T21:25:29Z")
I’d say no, it’s not ok. Sometimes people do forget; as a vegetarian, I’m overly cautious. My grandmother, for instance, will do things like add chicken stock to rice without even thinking about it. There’s no malice or “let’s trick her into getting some protein” there, she’s just been cooking a certain way for over 60 years, and I totally understand that. So if I’m going to a dinner at her house, I’ll call before hand and mention that I can bring something for myself, and that she doesn’t need to make anything for me. No problem there, I get to make something yummy for me and I don’t have to worry about lard in the potatoes, and such. If I go to a restaurant, I’ll look for the things that the cooks/servers wouldn’t lie or get confused about. There’s really no way for me to tell if a soup has meat or veggie broth, and sometimes there’s lack of communication between staff, or outright lying to save time. So I just don’t order soup, easy. I’m not going to make myself a pain in the ass by demanding to see ingredients books. I just look for easily adaptable things that really couldn’t have meat slipped into them. With friends, again, I don’t want someone making a whole separate meal for me if I’m invited for dinner, and I do think it’s rude to show up and refuse to eat anything. If we have, say, a wine and cheese party, I’ll talk to the host before hand and mention I’d like to bring my own appy, like hummus and pita, if that’s okay with them. People do make mistakes, and I realise that. If you’re not vegetarian or vegan, you probably never think about the fact that there’s anchovies in Worchestershire sauce, or that you always put a bit of cheese into your salad dressing, or that certain breads have eggs in them. I’m not going to make anyone else responsible for accomodating me or watching out for foods I don’t eat. Yes, there are the kind of people who think it’s amusing to feed eggs or milk to vegans. I’d like to think that no one in my circle of friends would do that, and I don’t currently have any reason to think that. My point? No, you shouldn’t lie to people about what they’re eating, and why on earth would you? ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-lie-to-vegetarians-about-what-they-are-eating/331537/25 "2005-11-17T21:35:08Z")
Slightly differnet note to the OP. If someone you know as a vegitarian is eating something you know to be non-vegitarian but not obviously so (like a sweet that contains gelitine for instance) should you point this out to them? ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-lie-to-vegetarians-about-what-they-are-eating/331537/26 "2005-11-17T21:42:22Z")
> [@power sawyer](#): > > You forgot the rules and made the hash browns with lard instead of sesame oil. > You thought all vegetables were organic, didn’t know about the herbicide-free business until that discussion just before dinner was served. > You ran out of soy milk and put cow’s milk into the fruit frappe. The first two are not lies, but mistakes. You still need to own up to it. On the third one, if you knowingly put cow’s milk in that’s a lie. If you panic, thinking OMG I’m running out of time and I have no soy milk! that’s another mistake. But I thought some vegetarians do drink cow’s milk? I’m not for tricking either way. I’ve loathed eggs all my life, and my Horrible Grandmother would try to “trick” me into eating eggs, like making a quiche before I knew what a quiche was, or mixing up scrambled eggs in noodles and calling it Chinese spaghetti. Then she’d lord it over me that see! I really did like eggs?? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-lie-to-vegetarians-about-what-they-are-eating/331537/27 "2005-11-17T21:52:35Z")
No. It’s really, really not. When I’ve been lied to about food items, I have spat stuff out on the floor of the offending person, and left their house. If you don’t want to be an asshole, why would you ever try to boobietrap someone elses food. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-lie-to-vegetarians-about-what-they-are-eating/331537/28 "2005-11-17T21:53:26Z")
**Ferret Herder** , I was actually thinking of you when I first posted to this thread. I keep remembering that time you pitted your in-laws for sneaking meat and such into your food on purpose. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-lie-to-vegetarians-about-what-they-are-eating/331537/29 "2005-11-17T21:58:35Z")
As a slight hijack, notmilkman Robert Cohen once gave someone at Burger King a hard time because the “Veggie Burger” had a secret sauce that included—gasp, mayonnaise. “That has unborn baby chickens (i.e. egg whites) in it. It’s not vegan.” They didn’t say it was vegan; they said it was “veggie.” ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-lie-to-vegetarians-about-what-they-are-eating/331537/30 "2005-11-17T22:03:25Z")
I am definitely an omnivore, but I am also a picky one. There are things I simply Will. Not. Eat. If anybody tried to sneak those things into my food, I would be beyond angry. I am 29, I decide what I eat, you don’t. If you fixed it, and I don’t like it, I won’t make a scene, I’ll just pass on it. The same principle goes for vegetarians or vegans. I wouldn’t dream of trying to sneak meat or animal products at you if I know you don’t eat them. It’d be beyond rude. If I screw up, I will tell you, and we’ll figure a way around it. Having my own food issues, I have no problem accomodating yours whatever the reasons for them. I think it’s pretty rude to be on the “Betcha didn’t know those were veggie burgers!” side too. People should be able to know what they’re eating. ---
**Author:** ![Audrey\_Levins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Audrey\_Levins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Audrey_Levins)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-lie-to-vegetarians-about-what-they-are-eating/331537/31 "2005-11-17T22:38:29Z")
> [@Bippy the Beardless](#): > > Slightly differnet note to the OP. > If someone you know as a vegitarian is eating something you know to be non-vegitarian but not obviously so (like a sweet that contains gelitine for instance) should you point this out to them? One of my best girlfriends is a vegetarian; she doesn’t “eat anything with a face.” She does eat dairy and egg products, but it still limits where we can eat when we want to go out to dinner. And when we eat Mexican food, she knows there’s lard in the refried beans and she says “that’s okay.” She eats them with gusto. Which I find totally absurd. She’s eating pig fat. But somehow she can’t eat the pig? But she’s a vegetarian? Why are the refried beans an exception? Because they’re so tasty she’s going to “cheat?” This kind of means her whole vegetarianism doesn’t “count.” I don’t confront her about it, because what she wants to eat is her choice, but I do find it annoying, mainly b/c of all the places we can’t eat b/c of her vegetarianism…so in my mind, I’ve classified her as a “picky eater” vs. a “vegetarian,” b/c that makes more sense to me. I can deal logically with a picky eater a lot better than I can deal with a “vegetarian” who eats animal products. I’ve never cooked for her (other than snacks like chips and dip) so telling her what’s in a dish has never been an issue; if I see her eating something that I think may have animal products in it (when we’re out to eat or whatever) she’s the one who ordered it so it’s up to her to know what’s in it. I’m not going to be the Vegetarian Police. ---
**Author:** ![eviladam\_part\_2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/da6949/32.png) [@eviladam\_part\_2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eviladam_part_2)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-lie-to-vegetarians-about-what-they-are-eating/331537/32 "2005-11-17T22:39:18Z")
when i was a kid, my mom intentionally put meat in everything when my vegetarian uncle came to visit, because he asked for a vegetarian option ahead of time. “oh, he’ll never notice”. ---
**Author:** ![Corii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/aeb1de/32.png) [@Corii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corii)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-lie-to-vegetarians-about-what-they-are-eating/331537/33 "2005-11-17T22:43:18Z")
> [@Audrey Levins](#): > > And when we eat Mexican food, she knows there’s lard in the refried beans and she says “that’s okay.” She eats them with gusto. That’s really strange, especially because in my experience it’s very easy to get vegetarian refried beans or black beans instead of lardy-beans at any Mexican restaurant. Not to slam your friend but she sounds more like a fussy eater than a vegetarian for ethical reasons. ---
**Author:** ![Audrey\_Levins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Audrey\_Levins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Audrey_Levins)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-lie-to-vegetarians-about-what-they-are-eating/331537/34 "2005-11-17T23:13:03Z")
> [@Corii](#): > > That’s really strange, especially because in my experience it’s very easy to get vegetarian refried beans or black beans instead of lardy-beans at any Mexican restaurant. Not to slam your friend but she sounds more like a fussy eater than a vegetarian for ethical reasons. I know; our favorite Mexican place has a vegetarian menu with veggie beans and white rice. Instead of ordering off that menu, she’ll just order the cheese enchiladas with ranchero sauce instead of the meat sauce. And the regular beans and rice. (The rice being made with chicken broth, I would assume.) So again, why not have the meat sauce? There’s animal on your plate already! Like I said, as a vegetarian she fails miserably, so I classify her as a picky eater instead or otherwise the lack of logic would just drive me bananas. I have no problems with vegetarians; it’s just “vegetarians” who restrict where we can eat, and then eat animal products, that irk me. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-lie-to-vegetarians-about-what-they-are-eating/331537/35 "2005-11-17T23:17:24Z")
I have a friend who is a vegetarian except when his wife is on vacation. Then he reverts to being a meat eater. It takes the lightest twisting of his arm. “How would you like your steak cook?” That is usually enough. Jim ---
**Author:** ![Martin\_Hyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/47e85d/32.png) [@Martin\_Hyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martin_Hyde)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-lie-to-vegetarians-about-what-they-are-eating/331537/36 "2005-11-18T00:03:23Z")
I wouldn’t lie about it. But anytime I cook (and I am a pretty good cook and do have dinner parties somewhat regularly) I’m not going to give any advance warning about meat being in the meal. Meat eating is socially mainstream, so my policy is you need to assume that whoever is cooking for you isn’t a vegetarian, and you need to plan accordingly. If someone is a vegetarian it’s on them to tell me, I could care less, and I’m never going to alter a recipe because of someone’s dietary habits, but I have made special dishes if people tell me in advance that they would prefer Kosher food, when it comes to vegetarians I usually ask them to supply me a recipe or bring something because I don’t have the requisite experience with cooking vegetarian entrees. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-lie-to-vegetarians-about-what-they-are-eating/331537/37 "2005-11-18T00:12:57Z")
No, it’s not OK, but I understand the temptation. I am not a short order cook. If you don’t like the entree I am serving, fill up on rolls and butter or the green beans or whatever. Please don’t pull a face and say, “I don’t eat meat/pork/shellfish” as if anyone who does is a trogdolyte (spelling?). I have a friend who is a wee bit controlled by her kids and -get this-she is having her mother make the turkey and then bring it to their house on Thanksgiving because vegetarian daughter doesn’t want to 1. see the dead bird (her words), 2. watch while the “ritual of defiling a bird is done” (I assume this means stuffing the turkey) and 3. smell the “dead bird roasting”. These kind of people, I am tempted to puree liver and serve it in their tofu. Sorry, a bit OT, but I think the door swings both ways. ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-lie-to-vegetarians-about-what-they-are-eating/331537/38 "2005-11-18T00:23:19Z")
It’s definitely wrong to intentionally lie about the food. As pointed out by others, it could actually be dangerous for the person eating the food unknowingly. Of course, I do understand the urge. My father has always been a somewhat picky eater and on a couple of occasions my mom fixed something and then tried to avoid telling him what was in it until after he’d tried it. Obviously she could then say “I knew you’d like it and wouldn’t even be able to tell what was in it.” He was never happy about that. As far as I know she doesn’t do it anymore except as an occasional prank. Once I had invited some friends over for dinner and was preparing pork chops. As my friends arrived I remembered that one of them was Jewish and apologized. I offered to fix her something else instead but she just waved it off. She didn’t keep kosher so it was no problem. Of course, it’s not like I could have _hidden_ the fact that it was pork, I mean, they were _chops_, it wasn’t ground pork, but it could have just as easily been something containing ground or chopped pork and I still would have warned her. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-lie-to-vegetarians-about-what-they-are-eating/331537/39 "2005-11-18T00:31:00Z")
> [@photopat](#): > > It’s definitely wrong to intentionally lie about the food. As pointed out by others, it could actually be dangerous for the person eating the food unknowingly. Not to mention [dangerous for the person serving the food](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tantalus). Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Corii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/aeb1de/32.png) [@Corii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corii)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-lie-to-vegetarians-about-what-they-are-eating/331537/40 "2005-11-18T00:37:09Z")
> [@photopat](#): > > Of course, it’s not like I could have _hidden_ the fact that it was pork, I mean, they were _chops_, it wasn’t ground pork, but it could have just as easily been something containing ground or chopped pork and I still would have warned her. They’re umm, unicorn filets, yeah… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-lie-to-vegetarians-about-what-they-are-eating/331537.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-ok-to-lie-to-vegetarians-about-what-they-are-eating/331537.md?page=3)