# Is it okay to encourage a child who chooses to be transexual? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [May 19, 2009, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-okay-to-encourage-a-child-who-chooses-to-be-transexual/497021 "2009-05-19T22:55:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2009, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-okay-to-encourage-a-child-who-chooses-to-be-transexual/497021/101 "2009-05-20T05:32:55Z")
> [@Lacunae\_Quell](#): > > …so some men may feel like they are women, or may have a biological condition where they actually believe they are a woman in a man’s body… but no matter what is done they ARE NOT a woman. It is impossible for a woman to be stuck inside a man’s body. Any man who believes he is a woman and lives life as a woman (vice-versa) is living a lie. READ YOUR OWN FUCKING THREAD. Stop promoting ignorance. See, here’s the thing. You’re allowed to have your beliefs, however crazy they maybe (and are). You’re not allowed to impose them on other people. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2009, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-okay-to-encourage-a-child-who-chooses-to-be-transexual/497021/102 "2009-05-20T05:39:47Z")
> [@Lacunae\_Quell](#): > > I am Christian. I believe the Word of God to be absolute truth and final authority. What the Word of God says goes and no one has greater authority than God. According to you. However, you have no evidence for any such God, much less any reason why it should be given any authority. > [@Lacunae\_Quell](#): > > Christians don’t accept a third gender because they CANNOT because it goes against God’s Word. God created Male and Female. One. Two. I don’t see a third. Regardless of what Science has proven, regardless of what transgenders believe or feel, there is NO such thing as a man in a woman’s body or a woman in a man’s body, and even IF there is such a thing then tough cookies… live life as God intended a male or female to live. Why should anyone do what God says, assuming he actually existed ? And, the fact is that transsexuals are exactly what they say they are, which means that “God’s Word” is wrong. Wrong is wrong, whether or not your pet myth says otherwise. > [@Lacunae\_Quell](#): > > Transgenders may have a biological condition where their minds are “like” or “similar” to or “speckled” like a females mind… but that does NOT make them a female. The biological condition that all the children of God have is testimony to God’s Word and to God’s authority, and there is nothing greater than God’s authority… > > …so some men may feel like they are women, or may have a biological condition where they actually believe they are a woman in a man’s body… but no matter what is done they ARE NOT a woman. It is impossible for a woman to be stuck inside a man’s body. Any man who believes he is a woman and lives life as a woman (vice-versa) is living a lie. > > If you are a man and want to live life as a woman, that’s your choice, but nothing can physically or mentally or emotionally make you a natural woman. I think women are a beautiful creation… quite frankly because I think women are a more perfect creature than men, and women are one of God’s greatest gift to a men. I guarantee that if I dated each and every transgendered man in this world (and was completely unaware he was born a natural man), not one of them could or would compare to a naturally born woman… not physically, mentally, or emotionally. Sure, I admit that I could have a romance or attraction or relationship or friendship with a transgendered man… but whatever I had with that would NOT in any way, shape, or form, be anything equal to having said relationship to a natural born woman. But you don’t hate them at all. Nope, not even the tiniest little bit. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2009, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-okay-to-encourage-a-child-who-chooses-to-be-transexual/497021/103 "2009-05-20T05:58:34Z")
> [@Lacunae\_Quell](#): > > If he was actually paranoid of government conspiracies or being drugged by the police, why didn’t he just go to the nearest police station and kill police officers? > > think about it. Because he was a lunatic? But hey, congratulations, you found one story, from ten years back, about a paranoid schizophrenic who killed people because they were Christians, and he thought Christians were framing him as a serial killer. And it only took you, what - five? six hours to find that one site? [Here’s](http://www.gaylesbiantimes.com/?id=13770) a report on the number of attacks on gays, lesbians, and transgendered people in 2008. There were over 1200 reports last year along. The article specifically mentions four separate murders, one brutal gang rape, as well as several non-fatal assaults. It took me five minutes to find that. Do you still want to imply that Christians are at equal risk for assault as gays? Or are you willing to drop that particular line of bullshit? ---
**Author:** ![AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2009, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-okay-to-encourage-a-child-who-chooses-to-be-transexual/497021/104 "2009-05-20T05:58:40Z")
> [@](#): > > Christians don’t accept a third gender because they CANNOT because it goes against God’s Word. God created Male and Female. One. Two. I don’t see a third. Regardless of what Science has proven, regardless of what transgenders believe or feel, What about folks with XXX syndrome or Turner’s Syndrome or whatever? ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2009, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-okay-to-encourage-a-child-who-chooses-to-be-transexual/497021/105 "2009-05-20T06:06:19Z")
> [@AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet](#): > > What about folks with XXX syndrome or Turner’s Syndrome or whatever? They don’t actually exist, I guess. Because **Lacunae Quell** ’s interpretation of a book of myths written by primitives couldn’t POSSIBLY be wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2009, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-okay-to-encourage-a-child-who-chooses-to-be-transexual/497021/106 "2009-05-20T06:17:14Z")
> [@Lacunae\_Quell](#): > > In response to the “third” gender… > > I am Christian. I believe the Word of God to be absolute truth and final authority. What the Word of God says goes and no one has greater authority than God. > > Genesis 1:27 > > “So God created man in his own image, > in the image of God he created him; > **male and female** he created them”. I notice that it also mentions he created them in his own image. So, tell me. Does God have a [hare lip](http://www.stichtingkidsurvivors.com/afbeeldingen/HarelipDilmerbeforeoperationjpg)? What about a [club foot](http://hdpodiatry.com/yahoo_site_admin/assets/images/clubfoot.40172705.jpg)? How about [spina bifada](http://www.wesleyjsmith.com/blog/uploaded_images/spina-755685.jpg)? These are all examples of ways humans can be born with bodies that don’t work the way God intended them to work. So why is it so impossible that a person can be born with the wrong body? And why is it wrong to try to correct that birth defect, the same way we try to correct any other birth defect? > [@](#): > > Christians don’t accept a third gender because they CANNOT because it goes against God’s Word. The parents of the child you’re so concerned about are Christians, and they seem to have no trouble accepting it. Are they not “real” Christians? > [@](#): > > The biological condition that all the children of God have is testimony to God’s Word and to God’s authority, and there is nothing greater than God’s authority… I’m assuming that you are not attempting to argue that only medical conditions that are listed in the Bible are “real” medical conditions. I’m pretty sure the Bible doesn’t mention, say, diabetes. Does that mean that diabetics are living a lie? That they’re disease isn’t real? That instead of treating it, they should just live with it, because doing otherwise is against God’s plan? No? Then why should transgenderism be considered any different? What makes it so necessary to suffer this particular medical condition, when we are allowed to treat all of the other afflictions of this fallen world? > [@](#): > > I think women are a beautiful creation… quite frankly because I think women are a more perfect creature than men, and women are one of God’s greatest gift to a men. If they are a more perfect creation than men, why does the Bible make such a point of how women are meant to be subservient to men? If they’re superior, shouldn’t it be men who are subservient? Sounds to me a bit like you’re putting your feelings about women above God’s authority. Guess that only applies when it’s things you personally dislike, eh? ---
**Author:** ![Seranvali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ba8739/32.png) [@Seranvali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seranvali)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2009, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-okay-to-encourage-a-child-who-chooses-to-be-transexual/497021/107 "2009-05-20T06:58:45Z")
> [@Lacunae\_Quell](#): > > But these people just need to accept what their body was born as and what their sexual parts were intended for. A man may feel like a woman on the inside, but you’re not a man on the outside, and your body is intended to live life as a male. > Alcoholics have a genetic and biological problem… yet they are told to resist what their mind and body craves because if they don’t then it could seriously complicate and destroy their life. > > I won’t argue against this being a biological condition… but there are plenty of biological conditions that people need to learn to overcome and live with and not give into (like alcoholism) or it is going to seriously damage their body (like when people have surgery to reassign their genders… they are damaging and mutilating their bodies). > > I believe that a transsexual would be much happier and healthier if they did not give into what their body and mind desired, and if they just tried their absolute best to live the way God and nature intended for men and women to live. > > Really this gets into the issue of sin and whatnot… but I won’t go there… except that I believe each and every person has a major mental and biological problem that they need to learn to overcome through the power of God and His Son Jesus and His Holy Spirit. Laugh if you will… mock me if you must… don’t believe me at all… but this is what I believe to be true… so I (along with those who believe like me) must have some part of my brain that’s speckled differently… because if transsexualism is a biological condition then Christianity or similar moral beliefs must be a biological condition too that not everyone has. > > So what is it? I don’t see this at all. Why would anyone choose to live with a sexual identity they were unhappy with? I see no virtue in it. If they can live another identity and be perfectly healthy and happy then surely self-responsibility would suggest that they should do so. I don’t think you can compare following a course of action that will make you more comfortable, if not happier, with a potentially life-threatening addiction. I have quite a few transgender friends who seemed much happier and better adjusted after their surgery. Several of them had been suicidal on and off for years beforehand, so frankly I’m happy for them and glad that they had the resources and support that enabled them to get the treatment they needed. The question of sin only matters if you’re a Christian. It’s completely irrelevant if you aren’t. It might also be worth pointing out that it’s perfectly possible to have a strong sense of morality and have no religious convictions at all. ---
**Author:** ![Seranvali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ba8739/32.png) [@Seranvali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seranvali)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2009, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-okay-to-encourage-a-child-who-chooses-to-be-transexual/497021/108 "2009-05-20T07:02:40Z")
> [@Lacunae\_Quell](#): > > I’m just trying to make a point… just about everything a person chooses is because of some mental function because of the way their mind is built… if transgenderism is a biological condition that many people have, then maybe a belief in a higher power is a biological condition that people have. > > The point was that people are willing to let boys be girls because of a mental condition… meaning that the person’s true gender is based on what their mind says they are… so if belief in a higher power is a biological condition, then those who believe they are going to Heaven and are a child of God know they are truly going to Heaven and are truly a child of God because it’s what their mind tells them. > > So if you’re going to believe a male when he says he’s a female, and acknowledge him as a female… then why not believe a Christian when they say that their mind and their biological condition is telling them that God is real and He sent Jesus to redeem mankind from death and that all who believe in Him will have eternal life? That doesn’t make an atom of sense. ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2009, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-okay-to-encourage-a-child-who-chooses-to-be-transexual/497021/109 "2009-05-20T07:06:25Z")
> [@AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet](#): > > What about folks with XXX syndrome or Turner’s Syndrome or whatever? [Klienfelters](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Klinefelter%27s_syndrome)is XXY, and Turner’s girls are 0X. They usually do appear though as the gender of whichever they are (usually the presence of the Y gene if functional is enough to try to create male characteristics, but usually in diminished forms (micropenis/hypogonadism are common traits)). The ones that would be screwed by this guy’s definitions are the people who are actually just XY but have faulty receptors. **[Swyer’s Syndrome](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swyer_syndrome)** And [Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Androgen_insensitivity_syndrome) (Which I believe was a POTW on House in the early seasons). If the OP honestly wishes to fight his ignorance, here’s a good place to start: [Intersexuality](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ambiguous_genitalia). If you read the Wiki article be warned, there are 3 pictures at the bottom that could be considered **NSFW**. Also I believe the AIS has an image there of hypogonadism on it as well towards the bottom. ---
**Author:** ![Seranvali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ba8739/32.png) [@Seranvali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seranvali)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2009, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-okay-to-encourage-a-child-who-chooses-to-be-transexual/497021/110 "2009-05-20T07:07:27Z")
> [@Lacunae\_Quell](#): > > In response to the links to the FBI files… > > was anyone in the FBI an eyewitness testimony? I remember the day it happened and I remember watching it on the news… and I remember seeing a girl in tears talk about how she saw the killers walk up to certain people asking them if they believed in God and when the said yes that person was shot. THAT WAS AN EYEWITNESS!!! I DON’T CARE WHAT THE EFFIN’-BI FILE SAYS! THE MEDIA IS FABRICATED! I’m going to believe what I heard on the news with my own ears from someone who was in the same room as all that on the very day it happened… And how, exactly, does this relate to your original point? ---
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2009, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-okay-to-encourage-a-child-who-chooses-to-be-transexual/497021/111 "2009-05-20T07:15:42Z")
> [@Lacunae\_Quell](#): > > …so some men may feel like they are women, or may have a biological condition where they actually believe they are a woman in a man’s body… but no matter what is done they ARE NOT a woman. It is impossible for a woman to be stuck inside a man’s body. Any man who believes he is a woman and lives life as a woman (vice-versa) is living a lie. Out of interest, were we to take the brain of a male, unplug all the connections, and stick it into a female, what would that make them? Obviously this is something of a hypothetical. 😉 The question raised upthread is really a pretty good one. People are born with all kinds of unfortunate physical or mental issues. Why is it so hard to believe that a human can be born with a cornucopia of varied defects or abnormalities, yet this specific point it’s a no go on? Is God perfectly happy with kids with Down’s syndrome, holes in the heart, or limbs missing, kids who’ll die before they’re even born or slightly after it, natural miscarriages - but a man’s brain in a woman’s body, _there’s_ where he draws the line. It’s probably not the priority i’d pick, in all honesty. ---
**Author:** ![Seranvali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ba8739/32.png) [@Seranvali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seranvali)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2009, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-okay-to-encourage-a-child-who-chooses-to-be-transexual/497021/112 "2009-05-20T07:28:37Z")
> [@Lacunae\_Quell](#): > > I’m sure if I combed through millions of articles on the internet long enough I could find an article about a child (I consider anyone under 18 a child) being murdered because they were a Christian… > > …but… are you all seriously going to sit here and say with absolute certainty, that at no time within the past 15-50 years, no person under the age of 18 has been murdered because of their Christian faith? You’re the one making the claim, it’s up to you to bring some evidence to the table. > [@Lacunae\_Quell](#): > > point is… people kill people for the stupidest reasons… and sometimes for reasons that can’t be explained… and a lot of times for reasons that will always remain unknown to those who investigate, report, and see it on the 6 o’ clock evening news. And you still haven’t provided a shred of evidence. America has one of the highest numbers of practising Christians in the world. You hold most of the power and yet you claim you’re being persecuted? Give me a break! [quote=“Lacunae\_Quell, post:77, topic:497021”] So please… just because you haven’t seen or heard from any media source that a Christian child was murdered for being a Christian doesn’t mean it’s never happened. It has. [/QUOTE=Lacunae Quell;11158943] So if it wasn’t reported in the media, how do you know it happened? > [@Lacunae\_Quell](#): > > One last thing… not every murder case is solved like the media leads the masses to believe with such television shows as CSI, CSI: New York, CSI: Miami, NCIS, The Mentalist, Criminal Minds, The Unit, Flashpoint, Cold Case and so on and so forth with all crime shows on all networks (I pretty much just watch CBS, as some of you may have noticed). There are more unsolved murders than there are solved murders. What kind of world do you think we live in? Candy Land? Full House? America!? THINK ABOUT IT! So you have no evidence that it happened, but you say it must have because nobody said it didn’t? ---
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2009, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-okay-to-encourage-a-child-who-chooses-to-be-transexual/497021/113 "2009-05-20T07:33:05Z")
> [@Lacunae Quell](#): > > …personally and honestly, homosexuality is something I have a tendency for and can be aroused by, but I choose not to involve myself with it… besides that… I really like the pussy… I can’t even begin explain to you how much I love to look at the body of a naked woman… Let me guess, you have a girlfriend who lives in Canada? [Here’s a study](http://jcem.endojournals.org/cgi/content/full/85/5/2034) that shows that your God creates people who are physiologically one gender, and cerebrally a different gender. It’s real. It happens. Biological evidence can be found, as I said, and as others have said, in the hypothalamus. This isn’t the study that I had alluded to on page one; I’ll have to go digging deeper to find that one. This will do for starters. Transgenderism isn’t just something that people CHOOSE to become. They’re not choosing it to spite you. They’re not choosing it at all; it’s biofuckinglogical. Now ask yourself: why did God create people such as this? My answer: to test your ability to love and accept your fellow man. So far … well, the results aren’t in, but it’s not looking good for you. You can stick your head in the sand and pretend that the Bible is right, and that this isn’t happening. Or you can accept the fact that the Bibles are all written, printed, and read by fallible humans, and literal interpretations of the words therin may sometimes not match Observable Reality. ---
**Author:** ![Weedy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/weedy/32/301_2.png) [@Weedy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weedy)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2009, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-okay-to-encourage-a-child-who-chooses-to-be-transexual/497021/114 "2009-05-20T07:38:48Z")
The tricky part for me is how far should the parents go in letting the child present as female? It’s one thing to give a child gender-neutral, or feminine/masculine, toys to play with. Do you let them pass in society, e.g. enrol them at school, as their preferred gender? A lot of kids at that age could pass as either sex, with the right clothes and haircut. Do they have one gender at home and a different gender at school? Which one do they use for going to the mall? Or do they go for an androgynous look? People who deal with the child are going to want to know their gender. It’s a basic question you ask about someone. ---
**Author:** ![Bridget\_Burke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7cd45c/32.png) [@Bridget\_Burke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bridget_Burke)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2009, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-okay-to-encourage-a-child-who-chooses-to-be-transexual/497021/115 "2009-05-20T08:05:07Z")
> [@Weedy](#): > > The tricky part for me is how far should the parents go in letting the child present as female? It’s one thing to give a child gender-neutral, or feminine/masculine, toys to play with. Do you let them pass in society, e.g. enrol them at school, as their preferred gender? A lot of kids at that age could pass as either sex, with the right clothes and haircut. Do they have one gender at home and a different gender at school? Which one do they use for going to the mall? Or do they go for an androgynous look? People who deal with the child are going to want to know their gender. It’s a basic question you ask about someone. Well, start quizzing all the parents you know for details about their child’s sexuality. I’m sure your interest will be rewarded! ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2009, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-okay-to-encourage-a-child-who-chooses-to-be-transexual/497021/116 "2009-05-20T08:21:39Z")
I wouldn’t let him choose surgery, but I’d let him choose everything else without batting an eye. If SHE is a genuine transexual, then SHE needs support and love and to feel like SHE is ok. If it’s a phase, no harm done he’ll get over it. ---
**Author:** ![NoJustice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecb155/32.png) [@NoJustice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NoJustice)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2009, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-okay-to-encourage-a-child-who-chooses-to-be-transexual/497021/117 "2009-05-20T08:41:49Z")
Late to the thread… man I just can’t catch up. It’s expanding faster than I can read… (at least faster than I can read while laughing) _skips to the end…_ Faster than anyone else can as well it appears, everyone’s responding to the nonsense he wrote a page back. I suppose **Lacunae Quell** has the advantage as all he does is write and write, and isn’t burdened by the desire to read anything. I’m only at #97 now but well… you know. All right, who else called homo in denial back at post #30? _high-five_ Now he’s conflating transsexuals with homosexuals… We’re approaching [buffalo bill](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jame_Gumb) territory here folks. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2009, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-okay-to-encourage-a-child-who-chooses-to-be-transexual/497021/118 "2009-05-20T09:27:21Z")
> [@NoJustice](#): > > I’m only at #97 now but well… you know. > > All right, who else called homo in denial back at post #30? I gave him the benefit of the doubt until #97 but yeah, the signs are there. On another topic, Larry Gene Ashbrook may have been anti-Baptist but anyone know what his own religion was? A dollar says he wasn’t Jewish… ---
**Author:** ![Lisa\_Harney](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/df788c/32.png) [@Lisa\_Harney](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lisa_Harney)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2009, 9:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-okay-to-encourage-a-child-who-chooses-to-be-transexual/497021/119 "2009-05-20T09:32:40Z")
To answer the question in the title: Yes, it’s okay to encourage a child who is transsexual. It’s much healthier for the child than preventing her from transitioning. However, the “chooses to be” part needs unpacking. It’s no more a choice to be transsexual than it is a choice to _not_ be transsexual (that is, to be cissexual). ---
**Author:** ![Lisa\_Harney](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/df788c/32.png) [@Lisa\_Harney](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lisa_Harney)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2009, 9:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-okay-to-encourage-a-child-who-chooses-to-be-transexual/497021/120 "2009-05-20T09:37:24Z")
> [@Weedy](#): > > The tricky part for me is how far should the parents go in letting the child present as female? It’s one thing to give a child gender-neutral, or feminine/masculine, toys to play with. Do you let them pass in society, e.g. enrol them at school, as their preferred gender? A lot of kids at that age could pass as either sex, with the right clothes and haircut. Do they have one gender at home and a different gender at school? Which one do they use for going to the mall? Or do they go for an androgynous look? People who deal with the child are going to want to know their gender. It’s a basic question you ask about someone. Honestly? Let children tell you whether they’re girls or boys. Let them live as they say they are - home or school. Don’t force androgyny on children who don’t identify that way. Don’t force kids to swap back and forth. Don’t force the kids to be someone they are not, it’s harmful and traumatizing. Take action to protect children from bullying so we don’t have more [Lawrence Kings](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/E.O._Green_School_shooting) Society doesn’t need to be protected from trans people - especially not from trans children, but trans children need to be protected from transphobic and homophobic violence. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-okay-to-encourage-a-child-who-chooses-to-be-transexual/497021.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-okay-to-encourage-a-child-who-chooses-to-be-transexual/497021.md?page=7)