# Is it okay to tell a restaurant you're allergic to oysters if you aren't? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 24, 2019, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-okay-to-tell-a-restaurant-youre-allergic-to-oysters-if-you-arent/840759 "2019-09-24T16:56:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Wrenching\_Spanners](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ecb155/32.png) [@Wrenching\_Spanners](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wrenching_Spanners)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2019, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-okay-to-tell-a-restaurant-youre-allergic-to-oysters-if-you-arent/840759/1 "2019-09-24T16:56:21Z")
**Is it okay to tell a restaurant you’re allergic to oysters if you aren’t?** This question is primarily aimed at Dopers who have worked in restaurant kitchens, but is of course open to anybody. My wife can’t stand oysters. I sometimes like them and sometimes don’t, and generally don’t mind if they’re substituted from a menu. When booking at a restaurant with a seasonal, chef’s choice menu, I’ve been tempted to say that my wife is allergic to oysters so they’ll have a good substitute ready. However, I don’t want to make the kitchen go through a lot of extra hygienic steps for what is actually a taste preference, not a mortal risk. I’ve tried explaining the situation a couple of times when booking, but have been met with bewilderment at what I was requesting. Therefore I usually just leave it to my wife to request a substitute if oysters happen to be on the menu once we’re in the restaurant. So is it a big deal for a restaurant to deal with allergies such that they’d prefer the truth and not have to worry about contamination, or is it no big deal where there’s no difference in preparing a substitute whether it’s due to a preference or an allergy? ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2019, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-okay-to-tell-a-restaurant-youre-allergic-to-oysters-if-you-arent/840759/2 "2019-09-24T17:37:57Z")
No, it’s NOT okay. If you don’t like something then don’t freaking order it, that’s what grownups do. If oysters are an integral part of a dish then get something else that doesn’t need oysters in it. If you don’t have control over the menu and the oysters can’t be avoided then that’s a great time to NOT visit that particular restaurant. People faking allergies to mask simple preferences leads to a widespread belief that allergies aren’t real or dangerous and tempts staff to just sneak 'em on by which can result in illness and death for some unlucky person who really IS allergic. Just don’t do it. When booking the reservation, ask if oysters are substitutable and if they aren’t then go somewhere else. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2019, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-okay-to-tell-a-restaurant-youre-allergic-to-oysters-if-you-arent/840759/3 "2019-09-24T17:40:47Z")
You mean I can’t order oysters Rockefeller if I just want to scrape the sauce off and eat it out of the spoon? ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2019, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-okay-to-tell-a-restaurant-youre-allergic-to-oysters-if-you-arent/840759/4 "2019-09-24T17:48:11Z")
> [@SmartAleq](#): > > \*\*People faking allergies to mask simple preferences leads to a widespread belief that allergies aren’t real or dangerous and tempts staff to just sneak 'em on by which can result in illness and death for some unlucky person who really IS allergic. \*\* QFT. Please, PLEASE _do not do this!_ You are making life so much more difficult for those of us for whom avoiding a particular food is a literal matter of life or death (I have twice landed in the ER for ingesting hidden tomato). If your wife doesn’t like oysters _don’t order anything with oysters_. If the restaurant is willing to make a substitution great. If not, order something else. Seriously, why is this rocket science? The other thing is that if you say you have an allergy a conscientious kitchen staff will have to very carefully clean and sanitize their work station, tools, dishes, etc. to clean every potential particle of an allergen off the work space. This is time-consuming for a situation (kitchen and cooking) where time is valuable. It is disruptive to the work environment. And then they have to worry about potentially calling 911 if something was overlooked or accidentally cross-contaminated, which is also disruptive and can scare off other customers, because some people get freaky when an ambulance pulls up to a restaurant. See, if the chef is leaving the oysters out of your wife’s meal but didn’t quite wipe every particle of oyster off a knife or spoon you likely won’t ever notice or know. If someone is _allergic_, though, even a small particle is enough to set off a reaction. In severe cases it could kill someone. That’s the difference between “preference” and “allergy”. Screwing up a preference doesn’t put your life in danger. So DON’T make life harder for the restaurant staff. DON’T make life harder for people with a real medical condition. DON’T lie about having allergies you don’t have. ---
**Author:** ![Xema](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9de053/32.png) [@Xema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xema)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2019, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-okay-to-tell-a-restaurant-youre-allergic-to-oysters-if-you-arent/840759/5 "2019-09-24T18:02:30Z")
> [@Wrenching\_Spanners](#): > > When booking at a restaurant with a seasonal, chef’s choice menu, I’ve been tempted to say that my wife is allergic to oysters so they’ll have a good substitute ready. This seems to imply that the restaurant has a sort of “Oysters R Us” menu scheme. Even at restaurants that feature oysters, it’s normal that lots of non-oyster options are available, and the amount of oyster DNA in these should be inconsequential. There should thus be no need for any special warning to the kitchen. I’ll add that anyone troubled by a few parts per million of any food should probably not enter any restaurant where that food is offered. ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2019, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-okay-to-tell-a-restaurant-youre-allergic-to-oysters-if-you-arent/840759/6 "2019-09-24T18:13:14Z")
Yeah, don’t. In a decent kitchen, getting a note that someone has an allergy to something on the menu means multiple people have to stop what they’re doing, wash stuff, sanitise counters, maybe do a double check of the ingredients just to make sure it’s OK (sometimes someone got a different brand of sauce to usual or it’s a new recipe), while trying not to get behind on anyone else’s food. It’s a pain to do, frankly; a well run kitchen feels almost like a dance, and now someone’s told you all to stop, come over here a minute, then carry on exactly from where you were. Doing all that when it’s needed, well, allergies are a pain, so… _shrug_ fair enough. Doing that only to see the person to whom the allergy note referred happily trying a bit of their table mate’s food, containing the item you just scrupulously cleaned off everything, because normally they really don’t like it but it’s cooked really well, so ooh go on just this once? That makes the kitchen staff feel in a way you don’t want the people with the knives to feel. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2019, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-okay-to-tell-a-restaurant-youre-allergic-to-oysters-if-you-arent/840759/7 "2019-09-24T18:32:17Z")
As one who is indeed allergic to oysters, don’t do this. If your wife doesn’t like oysters, she should tell them so, or don’t eat anything with oysters. Faking a food allergy make things worse for those who have one. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2019, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-okay-to-tell-a-restaurant-youre-allergic-to-oysters-if-you-arent/840759/8 "2019-09-24T18:36:30Z")
First answer is the right answer. Claiming allergy when not allergic is a dick move, plain and simple. Don’t be a dick. Order dishes without oysters; they don’t migrate from one dish to another in the restaurant kitchen. ---
**Author:** ![Tired\_and\_Cranky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@Tired\_and\_Cranky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tired_and_Cranky)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2019, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-okay-to-tell-a-restaurant-youre-allergic-to-oysters-if-you-arent/840759/9 "2019-09-24T18:46:56Z")
My friend worked at a snooty, nationally famous restaurant. The only customers she really hated were the people who faked allergies. The hygiene steps disrupted the whole kitchen and slowed down service for everyone in the restaurant. If the kitchen was already half a step behind, this would push them further behind and would mean that people with longstanding reservations might still be left waiting for a table. How did she know they were faking? Servers are almost invisible to the entitled so often they would start talk about how they were so clever to fake an allergy. Alternatively, they would decide after the meals were served to just try that stir-fried shrimp salad to see if maybe this time they loved it. People with real allergies don’t play Russian roulette like that. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2019, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-okay-to-tell-a-restaurant-youre-allergic-to-oysters-if-you-arent/840759/10 "2019-09-24T18:50:05Z")
> [@D\_Odds](#): > > First answer is the right answer. Claiming allergy when not allergic is a dick move, plain and simple. Don’t be a dick. Order dishes without oysters; they don’t migrate from one dish to another in the restaurant kitchen. All of this. ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2019, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-okay-to-tell-a-restaurant-youre-allergic-to-oysters-if-you-arent/840759/11 "2019-09-24T18:51:07Z")
> [@Xema](#): > > This seems to imply that the restaurant has a sort of “Oysters R Us” menu scheme. > > Even at restaurants that feature oysters, it’s normal that lots of non-oyster options are available, and the amount of oyster DNA in these should be inconsequential. There should thus be no need for any special warning to the kitchen. > > I’ll add that anyone troubled by a few parts per million of any food should probably not enter any restaurant where that food is offered. Maybe she could try the oyster, oyster, spam, oyster and oyster sandwich- that doesn’t have much oyster in it. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2019, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-okay-to-tell-a-restaurant-youre-allergic-to-oysters-if-you-arent/840759/12 "2019-09-24T19:46:43Z")
You risk having to backtrack on your lie also if the staff comes out and says they apologize but they can’t guarantee there would be zero cross contamination in their kitchen and therefore recommend you eat elsewhere. “Well, when I say she’s allergic I don’t mean she’s thaaaat allergic.” ---
**Author:** ![AlsoNamedBort](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alsonamedbort/32/3213_2.png) [@AlsoNamedBort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlsoNamedBort)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2019, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-okay-to-tell-a-restaurant-youre-allergic-to-oysters-if-you-arent/840759/13 "2019-09-24T19:58:43Z")
> [@Xema](#): > > This seems to imply that the restaurant has a sort of “Oysters R Us” menu scheme. > > Even at restaurants that feature oysters, it’s normal that lots of non-oyster options are available, and the amount of oyster DNA in these should be inconsequential. There should thus be no need for any special warning to the kitchen. Not OP, but I’m assuming by “seasonal, chef’s choice menu” he means a tasting menu, where you don’t choose what you get. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2019, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-okay-to-tell-a-restaurant-youre-allergic-to-oysters-if-you-arent/840759/14 "2019-09-24T20:03:24Z")
If it’s a good restaurant, tell them “No oysters, please; I really don’t like them”, and they’ll honor that. If it’s not a good enough restaurant that you can trust them to cooperate with that, then don’t eat there. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2019, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-okay-to-tell-a-restaurant-youre-allergic-to-oysters-if-you-arent/840759/15 "2019-09-24T21:38:30Z")
There are restaurants where it’s mandatory to eat oysters unless you have an allergy? ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2019, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-okay-to-tell-a-restaurant-youre-allergic-to-oysters-if-you-arent/840759/16 "2019-09-24T22:08:23Z")
> [@AlsoNamedBort](#): > > Not OP, but I’m assuming by “seasonal, chef’s choice menu” he means a tasting menu, where you don’t choose what you get. … and because I have allergies I likely will never, ever opt for one of those. Because it’s not fair to me, the chef, or the first responders. Also, might put other guests off their feed. A full-on anaphylatic reaction is scary to watch. My nephew is a BIG fan of those sorts of things, and I think it’s because, due to his sister’s severe, life-threatening allergies at home the kitchen was constrained to what would not make her ill. So for him it’s something he didn’t get at home growing up that he and his long-term girlfriend really enjoy. Sometimes they get something they don’t like but it seems they enjoy the discovery process. But when his sister comes over he cleans/sanitizes everything, carefully reads all labels, and is very protective of her. My niece and I can never, ever eat causally outside our own kitchens. EXTRA fun when we both go out to the same restaurant, because even though we both have food allergies we have _completely different_ allergies. I remember one time we were both standing in a kitchen in Chicago scrutinizing labels on ingredients and bless the restaurant/kitchen staff for putting up with that. The upside, though, is that we both safely enjoyed a fantastic meal, lavishly praised the staff, and no one had to call 911. Yeah, people who really do have food allergies will do things like that. I tip well because I know I’m a bit more of a bother than the other customers, but if you treat me well I’ll treat you well. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2019, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-okay-to-tell-a-restaurant-youre-allergic-to-oysters-if-you-arent/840759/17 "2019-09-24T23:38:14Z")
> [@AlsoNamedBort](#): > > Not OP, but I’m assuming by “seasonal, chef’s choice menu” he means a tasting menu, where you don’t choose what you get. I have eaten many, many tasting menus and I have always been asked about preferences. Lots of people don’t like seafood or other items, or are vegetarian and they will do their best to honor that. Don’t avoid a tasting menu because you’re afraid you’ll be served something you really dislike. If it’s allergy, of course, use your own best judgement. Faking an allergy, for all the reasons stated, is a nonstarter. Don’t do it. ---
**Author:** ![carrps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carrps/32/2957_2.png) [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2019, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-okay-to-tell-a-restaurant-youre-allergic-to-oysters-if-you-arent/840759/18 "2019-09-24T23:56:42Z")
I love tasting menus and chef’s tables. I swear some of the courses that I thought I’d like the least were the ones I liked the best and were most memorable. We went to eat at the Langham in Pasadena when Michael Voltaggio was still there (right after he won Top Chef) and ordered the tasting menu. It wasn’t a surprise…it’s all planned ahead of time and you see what the courses will be…and I was iffy about the _foie gras_ and bone marrow courses. Those are the two that I most remember. Mmmmmmmmmm. And if you’re going some place like that work with your waiterstaff. The sommelier was awesome, very informative, helpful and amusing. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2019, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-okay-to-tell-a-restaurant-youre-allergic-to-oysters-if-you-arent/840759/19 "2019-09-25T02:30:52Z")
> [@](#): > > Therefore I usually just leave it to my wife to request a substitute if oysters happen to be on the menu once we’re in the restaurant. What about your wife’'s strategy isn’t working, or requires you to do anything different? ---
**Author:** ![Spud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spud/32/347_2.png) [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2019, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-okay-to-tell-a-restaurant-youre-allergic-to-oysters-if-you-arent/840759/20 "2019-09-25T03:07:24Z")
I can’t believe nobody else has said this yet, but this is a really bad… stupid… dangerous… jerkish thing to do. I’ll share the secret code… “My wife doesn’t like oysters. Can you substitute or make another recommendation for her?” I know that is a lot of words to remember but magic spells often are complected. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-okay-to-tell-a-restaurant-youre-allergic-to-oysters-if-you-arent/840759.md?page=2)