# Is it possible for a Human to be non-sexual? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [June 5, 2004, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-for-a-human-to-be-non-sexual/248880 "2004-06-05T23:50:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Teelo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@Teelo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Teelo)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2004, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-for-a-human-to-be-non-sexual/248880/1 "2004-06-05T23:50:04Z")
Alright, it is common knowledge to anyone out side of very religions German couples that sex is an instinct. You are either attracted to the Female sex, the Male Sex, or both. Has there been ANY recorded cases of having NO sexual preference? Like, not being attracted to either sex? (This does not include celibates.) ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2004, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-for-a-human-to-be-non-sexual/248880/2 "2004-06-06T00:00:38Z")
There was a person who appeared on one of those usually tasteless daytime talk shows (Montel?) who was born without genitalia (or any gender-specific parts) and claimed to not be sexually attracted to either sex. The person did admit to have strong emotions towards others of both genders, but in equal amounts. ---
**Author:** ![Pablito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ed655f/32.png) [@Pablito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pablito)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2004, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-for-a-human-to-be-non-sexual/248880/3 "2004-06-06T00:06:39Z")
“Is it possible to be non-sexual?” Allow me to introduce you to my ex-wife. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2004, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-for-a-human-to-be-non-sexual/248880/4 "2004-06-06T00:09:17Z")
It was actually Sally Jesse Raphael. [Here’s an essay about Toby](http://www.studyworld.com/newsite/ReportEssay/Science/Social%5CGender_Socialization-32139.htm). (note: the webpage is poorly designed and difficult to read) ---
**Author:** ![bizzwire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/958977/32.png) [@bizzwire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bizzwire)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2004, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-for-a-human-to-be-non-sexual/248880/5 "2004-06-06T00:11:37Z")
> [@Pablito](#): > > “Is it possible to be non-sexual?” > > Allow me to introduce you to my ex-wife. 😉 Allow _me_ to introduce you to my _present_ wife! ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2004, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-for-a-human-to-be-non-sexual/248880/6 "2004-06-06T00:34:39Z")
> [@Mr. Blue Sky](#): > > It was actually Sally Jesse Raphael. > > [Here’s an essay about Toby](http://www.studyworld.com/newsite/ReportEssay/Science/Social%5CGender_Socialization-32139.htm). > > (note: the webpage is poorly designed and difficult to read) It also attempted to download spyware when I clicked on the link ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2004, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-for-a-human-to-be-non-sexual/248880/7 "2004-06-06T06:11:38Z")
Given the endless variations humans are capable of, I have no doubt whatsoever that there are people for whom sexual activity seems unpleasant, if not downright nauseating. Not me, thank God, but some people. ---
**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2004, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-for-a-human-to-be-non-sexual/248880/8 "2004-06-06T06:30:26Z")
Isn’t it odd that you never see **bizzwire’s** and **Pablito’s** wives in the same place at the same time? It’s almost as if… nah. ---
**Author:** ![Gamaliel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b487fb/32.png) [@Gamaliel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gamaliel)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2004, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-for-a-human-to-be-non-sexual/248880/9 "2004-06-06T07:05:03Z")
I spent part of an evening flirting with a woman who turned out to be a member of the [Organization for Antisexualism](http://ofa.cjb.net) ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2004, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-for-a-human-to-be-non-sexual/248880/10 "2004-06-06T07:21:44Z")
Think what great sexual passion all Angels must have for mankind. Posessed of both organs. Impregnation through spirit and body. Many Angels have had intercourse with the daughters and sons of man. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2004, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-for-a-human-to-be-non-sexual/248880/11 "2004-06-06T07:43:00Z")
Yes, it’s possible for people to be asexual. They just have no libido at all. I’ve known a few people that I think are probably asexual or damn close to it. They’re capable of forming romantic attachments, but the sex thing just doesn’t appeal to them at all. ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2004, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-for-a-human-to-be-non-sexual/248880/12 "2004-06-06T07:53:30Z")
I’m hard up, I want an angel to rape me. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Zagna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d2c977/32.png) [@El\_Zagna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Zagna)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2004, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-for-a-human-to-be-non-sexual/248880/13 "2004-06-06T15:58:30Z")
My guess is that if you plotted sexual interest with age you would see a bell curve that peaks in the 20’s and approaches zero for the very young and very old. I can also remember someone on this board stating that he or she was essentially asexual and had virtually no interest in sex one way or the other. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2004, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-for-a-human-to-be-non-sexual/248880/14 "2004-06-06T16:29:07Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > It also attempted to download spyware when I clicked on the link Hmmm…that’s weird. It didn’t do that to me. I’m using Mozilla w/Zone Alarm Pro. Sorry 'bout that, Chief. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2004, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-for-a-human-to-be-non-sexual/248880/15 "2004-06-06T18:13:06Z")
> [@bizzwire](#): > > Allow _me_ to introduce you to my _present_ wife! Allow me to introduce you to me! Though in my case, it’s not by choice… ---
**Author:** ![biqu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7feea3/32.png) [@biqu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/biqu)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2004, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-for-a-human-to-be-non-sexual/248880/16 "2004-06-06T18:48:35Z")
According to the first reply in [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=255155), T. E. Lawrence (as in _Lawrence of Arabia_) “just wasn’t interested in the whole idea of sex.” ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2004, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-for-a-human-to-be-non-sexual/248880/17 "2004-06-06T21:56:06Z")
As far as “Toby” goes, couldn’t Toby have a chromosome test done to determine whether Toby has XX or XY? It wouldn’t necessarily CHANGE things, but it would be interesting to see. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2004, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-for-a-human-to-be-non-sexual/248880/18 "2004-06-07T05:27:45Z")
About six months after **DesertWife** and I got married, her best friend of some twenty-odd years and I were driving somewhere and she asked if I’d mind a very personal question. I said go ahead and ask, the worst I’d do is refuse to answer. She hemmed and hawed a bit, then finally blurted out, “How often do you and **DW** ‘do it?’” I mulled it over and said it varied widely depending on circumstances, anywhere from twice a day to twice a month. Mostly, though it was three or four times a week. She said, “Really?” somewhat sadly, and changed the topic. Later, when I saw **DW** again, I asked her what _that_ was all about. She replied that her husband’s libido was just about zip; they had sex only two or three times a _year_. I don’t think it was a control issue, and he did love her–they’d even managed to have a son, somehow–his sexual fires were just practically non-existent. I’ve also referred from time to time to **DesertRoomie**. The **Roomie** part is deliberate because I can’t in truth call her **Lover** or even **Girlfriend** since in the ten years we’ve lived together we’ve never slept in the same bed or had sex. At age 44 she is a virgin–she was raped at age 28 but never had voluntary intercourse. Now, getting raped did not help, but she had no interest in sex before that or even getting close enough to anyone to have a normal male/female or female/female relationship. I’ve probed a bit but she’s reluctant to talk about her feelings. I asked point blank if she’d ever had a climax and she said that she’d masturbated and described what sounded like an orgasm. She said that it felt good but she’d felt sad afterwards and never felt the urge to repeat the experiment. I wouldn’t mind taking her to bed but, to be honest, I don’t love her the way I did **DesertWife** , at least in part because I don’t dare love someone who can’t love me back. I’ve seen her parents and both of them seemed like a pair of cold fish. Perhaps growing up with them made her that way–neither her older brother or younger sister have had a marriage that lasted. I myself have not had sex with anyone in the twelve years since I lost **DW**. I do masturbate, though. DD ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2004, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-for-a-human-to-be-non-sexual/248880/19 "2004-06-07T06:29:42Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > As far as “Toby” goes, couldn’t Toby have a chromosome test done to determine whether Toby has XX or XY? It wouldn’t necessarily CHANGE things, but it would be interesting to see. You could, but it might or might not clear things up. There are different ways something like that could happen. Still, a genetic study would probably be interesting. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2004, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-for-a-human-to-be-non-sexual/248880/20 "2004-06-07T06:35:08Z")
There’s even an [asexuality.org, complete with links page.](http://www.asexuality.org/Links.htm) And, [according to Wikipedia](http://216.239.53.104/search?q=cache:-jloJywn6RQJ:en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asexuality+asexuality&hl=en&ie=UTF-8)… > [@](#): > > Asexuality, as a sexual orientation, is divided into four types, A through D. > > - Type As do not experience romantic attraction, but experience arousal. They are aware that sex might feel good on a purely biochemical level, but have no drive to engage in it with others. > - Type Bs experience romantic attraction, but have no sex drives. In other words, they are interested in “normal” relationships, but would not want to participate in sexual activities with the person they are in a relationship with. > - Type Cs are capable of both arousal and romantic attraction, but have no drive to put the two together. > - Type Ds feel neither attraction nor arousal, and are probably closest to what society would deem asexual. > > [However,] Asexuals tend to discourage the use of “typing oneself,” and only use it to distinguish the range of feelings asexuals can feel. Asexuals are not expected to fit exclusively into one type And then, of course, there is Type E…the “Confirmed Old Bachelor.” (Seen [here, at left and right.](http://www.kinomaniak.com/filmy/1/grafika/16.jpg)) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-for-a-human-to-be-non-sexual/248880.md?page=2)