# Is it possible to be too offended? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [October 4, 2000, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-to-be-too-offended/35689 "2000-10-04T22:38:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2000, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-to-be-too-offended/35689/1 "2000-10-04T22:38:23Z")
I have a friend who gets offended at quite a lot of things. She reads sociology books on slavery, on woman’s oppression, on culture bias, and on racial prejudice and takes all their history to heart, almost as if they personally happened to her. She objects to casinos because they target and exploit the poor. I tell her that people choose to go there, no one forces them. She objects to any joke that has any racial overtones. It doesn’t matter if the joke is being told with no malicious intent to the group of people the joke is about and they have no objection to it. We ask her what right she has to be upset about a joke dealing with group X when she isn’t group X and group X is laughing at the joke! She recently told me that the word Oriental is a slur word. Hey, new one on me, but ok, I won’t use that word around her. I once asked her if she found blond jokes offensive. She said no. What if some of your best friends were blond and they told you it was offensive to them? Well then, I’d probably find it offensive. But a second ago you said it wasn’t offensive! That was before I learned it hurt someone. Look, everything, EVERYTHING, is offensive to someone, somewhere. There’s probably someone who thinks the word “and” killed their parents, so they refuse to use it in writing. My questions are, 1) at what point have you become too offended at the things around you and 2) what right do you have to be offended for a group you don’t belong to? Oh yeah, anyone here think my sig is offensive? ---
**Author:** ![Sterra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Sterra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sterra)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2000, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-to-be-too-offended/35689/2 "2000-10-04T22:44:44Z")
Yes I hate coffee because of its caffinated death machine. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2000, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-to-be-too-offended/35689/3 "2000-10-04T22:45:55Z")
I am offended by this thread! ---
**Author:** ![jmullaney](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/85e7bf/32.png) [@jmullaney](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jmullaney)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2000, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-to-be-too-offended/35689/4 "2000-10-04T22:51:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Enderw23 \* > There’s probably someone who thinks the word “and” killed their parents, Thanks for bringing that up **you bastard!** 😉 [That’s not funny – my Brother Died that Way!](http://www.theonion.com/onion3527/thats_not_funny.html) ---
**Author:** ![DonnaAE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ea666f/32.png) [@DonnaAE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DonnaAE)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2000, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-to-be-too-offended/35689/5 "2000-10-05T01:21:37Z")
I’m not, I drink office coffee. Whoring sounds just as offensive and disqusting as that mud at work. and, I suppose, some gotta do what some gotta do! me, its drink coffee. ---
**Author:** ![sveglio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@sveglio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sveglio)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2000, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-to-be-too-offended/35689/6 "2000-10-05T01:39:37Z")
Two conclusions: 1 ) The person is 100% sincere. 2 ) Some people try too hard to prove how unprejudiced they are. And, what it is, actually, is a facade for their own prejudice. Why? I think it’s fear. Fear of conflict? Fear of getting beat-up? 🙂 I’m not positive if this applies to your friend, but these are the kind of people I’ve had experience with. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2000, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-to-be-too-offended/35689/7 "2000-10-05T02:30:51Z")
Anyone who owns or works in a whorehouse would be offended by being equated with bad coffee. ---
**Author:** ![Sterra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Sterra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sterra)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2000, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-to-be-too-offended/35689/8 "2000-10-05T02:40:50Z")
Im also offended at people who are offended. ---
**Author:** ![sailor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@sailor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sailor)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2000, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-to-be-too-offended/35689/9 "2000-10-05T05:06:09Z")
I’ve dated a few women like that. It seems they are eager to show how much they know about why things are offensive that would never occur to normal people. Ten minutes after meeting them I am thinking of how to get out ASAP. ---
**Author:** ![David\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/51bf81/32.png) [@David\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/David_B)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2000, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-to-be-too-offended/35689/10 "2000-10-05T11:58:09Z")
To answer the question of the thread title: Yes. I know a woman who is very much like the person you describe. She has a book on what words to use in place of “he” or “she” on her desk at work. She takes offense at pretty much everything. But even she’s not as bad as one I encountered at sexual harassment training (you didn’t know we had to be trained to do that, didja?). We were all sitting there, bored to tears and wanting to get the hell out after two hours of dreck. The lawyers giving the training were pretty much done and asked if there were any questions. Well, earlier they had explained that harassment is based on the standard of what a “reasonable person” would find offensive. There was one woman in the back who just couldn’t get this through her head. She wanted it to be based on what _she_ considered offensive, and to hell with the “reasonable person”! She went on and on, and everybody there wanted to lynch her at that point (including the lawyers giving the training, I suspect). She pretty much admitted that she was an unreasonable person and would be offended by pretty much anything. I’m just glad she doesn’t work anywhere near me. ---
**Author:** ![Myron\_Van\_Horowitzski](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@Myron\_Van\_Horowitzski](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myron_Van_Horowitzski)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2000, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-to-be-too-offended/35689/11 "2000-10-05T15:17:43Z")
1. Hi Opal! 2. (Worst of all) This person has no sense of humor. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Zambezi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7cd45c/32.png) [@Mr.Zambezi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Zambezi)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2000, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-to-be-too-offended/35689/12 "2000-10-05T15:57:41Z")
Beiing easily offended can bring one rewards at work. I have worked with such people and they were treated with kid gloves. And let’s face it, if you are easily offended, you come off to many as being a sincere, caring, empathetic person. ---
**Author:** ![Freedom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Freedom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freedom)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2000, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-to-be-too-offended/35689/13 "2000-10-05T16:18:30Z")
This article seems a perfect fit for this thread: [Potato Head Article](http://web.centredaily.com/content/centredaily/2000/10/05/opinion/pitts.htm) > [@](#): > > ``` > Thursday, October 5, 2000 > > ``` > > Column / Leonard Pitts > A Mr. Potato Head becomes a reminder of bigotry > > Maybe you’ve already heard about the racist potato. > > If not, let me fill you in. It seems that in an effort to drum up tourism, Rhode Island has dotted its landscape with 6-foot statues of Potato Head wearing various guises and going by various pun-filled names. > > “Edgar Allen Poe-tato” and things of that nature. > > And all was well in the smallest of the United States until a woman named Onna Moniz-John caught sight of “Tourist Tater” in the local paper. He’s wearing a Hawaiian shirt, a hat, sunglasses, and has blackened skin. Kathy Szarko, the artist who created him, says she was not trying to offend anyone. The potato’s skin was meant simply as an indication that he had been sunbathing. But for Moniz-John, Potato Head came across as less a tanned tourist than a racist reminder, an echo of the offensive images of African Americans with which our cultural history is riddled. Click link for full article. This is what they were doing: [http://www.visitrhodeisland.com/potato](http://www.visitrhodeisland.com/potato) And here is a link to pictures of the offending head: [Scroll down](http://www.freerepublic.com/forum/a39dc87ff7ed3.htm) I found the original link to the picture on the official website, but they have it listed as “under repair” and there is no picture available there. Btw…I find this to be a strange trend. In a nearby town, West Orange, NJ, they have life sized cow statues all over the town. They are painted by different artists all sorts of different ways. They have even painted many of the fences around town white with black cow spots. Well, I looked for a link to the West Orange Cows and was surprised to find out that a TON of towns are doing the cow statue thing. [Pictures](http://www.cowparade.net/pages/thecows_westorange.cfm) ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2000, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-to-be-too-offended/35689/14 "2000-10-05T16:33:48Z")
From the “My brother died that way” article on “The Onion”, link post by jmullany: > [@](#): > > ``` > Hey, listen, guys. Listen up. This is a great party and everything, and it's cool you invited me and all, but I have to speak up about that scene in Police Academy you were just talking about. > > You know that part where the guy flies off the motorcycle handlebars, and he flies right at the horse's ass and gets his head stuck in it? Remember how funny you said that was? Well, I just want to say I didn't appreciate that too much, because my brother died that way. > > ``` Talk about hitting the nail right on the head! I get mad at stuff that affects or offends me, but not at every potential offending action. I mean, you only have so much energy. Why waste it? Zette ---
**Author:** ![MJH2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@MJH2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MJH2)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2000, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-to-be-too-offended/35689/15 "2000-10-05T20:16:28Z")
To answer the OP: yes. Because there is a big difference between finding certain jokes un-funny and finding them offensive. Your friend seems to have confused the two ideas. If she wants to find blonde jokes un-funny because she has blonde friends who find such jokes hurtful, so be it; but in order for a joke about ‘group X’ to be offensive, she must feel that the joke is hurtful _to her_ – which she cannot unless she is an X, too. Although she might have a little too much time to ponder such things, she probably means well, even if she’s overdoing it. ---
**Author:** ![User\_10K](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@User\_10K](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/User_10K)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2000, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-to-be-too-offended/35689/16 "2000-10-07T01:58:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Enderw23 \* > [BOh yeah, anyone here think my sig is offensive? \*\* If I understood it, I’m sure I’d disagree with it. But be offended? Not an option. I don’t get offended except by personal remarks. The ladies who act like your friend tend to drone on and I usually can distract myself with something in the room and interrupt them. “Is this a picture of your father?” Then they realize they’ve been talking to themselves. ---
**Author:** ![jb\_farley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9d8465/32.png) [@jb\_farley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jb_farley)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2000, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-to-be-too-offended/35689/17 "2000-10-07T23:27:54Z")
mjh2- you have my total agreement. where’s homer when you need him? jb p.s.- interpretation ha ha ha -p.p.s.-listen to radiohead’s kid a! ---
**Author:** ![lucwarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e19adc/32.png) [@lucwarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lucwarm)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2000, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-to-be-too-offended/35689/18 "2000-10-08T02:31:03Z")
It’s fascinating what’s offensive and what isn’t. I remember driving blissfuly for years, never noticing or caring about tailgaters. Now I notice them and get all mad. In some ways it’s better not to notice all of the little slights annoyances and assaults we face every day. I remember in college there were certain people who seemed to almost take pleasure in being offended. They were always running around trying to have pictures taken down or painted over; speech codes passed; and so on. It’s interesting how you can come to “love to hate” certain things. Not to belittle anyone - there’s plenty of things that are offensive to most reasonable people. It just seems like it can be easy to get carried away. ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2000, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-to-be-too-offended/35689/19 "2000-10-08T05:49:35Z")
I know tons of Italians with very legitimate businesses. Okay, there are no Puerto Ricans with velvet paintings hanging on their walls. I have Jewish friends who are constantly picking up the check. All my Irish friends hate beer. I don’t know any good black basketball players. Mensa is full of Polish members. I don’t discriminate, I offend everyone. 🙂 You know you’re not a racist if: You go up to black people and tell black jokes.