# Is it possible to build a machine that generates more power than it uses?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-to-build-a-machine-that-generates-more-power-than-it-uses/805975>\
**Category:** Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports\
**Created:** [January 6, 2018, 9:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-to-build-a-machine-that-generates-more-power-than-it-uses/805975 "2018-01-06T09:43:43Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 8

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**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\
**Post date:** [April 4, 2019, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-to-build-a-machine-that-generates-more-power-than-it-uses/805975/141 "2019-04-04T01:18:06Z")

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> [@Czarcasm](#):
>
> I went to [his website](http://vinyasi.info/), read this
> 
> > [@](#):
> >
> > I took machine level, assembler at WLAC after first studying the theory section of the I Ching, or Chinese Book of Changes which led to an octal appreciation which helped to prepare me. Also, Maharishi Mahesh Yogi’s Science of Creative Intelligence had prepared me since he teaches sixteen principles which may be analogous to the 8 pairs of principles …

He’s on the right track, though. Most universities offer Octal Appreciation in the first or second year of computer science programs, usually involving trips to Octal Museums for a first-hand look at some of the great octal numbers in history. The British Museum is said to have an original 7777 on display and accessible to the general public. And of course the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi has aced this stuff: 16 principles is octal 20 principles, while 8 pairs of principles is octal 10 pairs – these are called “sacred” numbers, because they look great in octal and are guaranteed to have good Karma coming out the ying-yang.

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**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\
**Post date:** [April 4, 2019, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-to-build-a-machine-that-generates-more-power-than-it-uses/805975/142 "2019-04-04T01:20:18Z")

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> [@wolfpup](#):
>
> He’s on the right track, though. Most universities offer Octal Appreciation in the first or second year of computer science programs, usually involving trips to Octal Museums for a first-hand look at some of the great octal numbers in history. The British Museum is said to have an original 7777 on display and accessible to the general public. And of course the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi has aced this stuff: 16 principles is octal 20 principles, while 8 pairs of principles is octal 10 pairs – such powers of two are called “sacred” numbers, because they look great in octal and are guaranteed to have good Karma coming out the ying-yang.

I appreciate this, eightfold.

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**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\
**Post date:** [April 4, 2019, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-to-build-a-machine-that-generates-more-power-than-it-uses/805975/143 "2019-04-04T12:44:53Z")

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So Physicists 74 years ago using a _completely wrong_ model of the atom and primitive equipment by today’s standards were nonetheless able to deliberately achieve [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wki4hg9Om-k)?

And they didn’t even bother to test the Little Boy design ahead of time. It’s first use was in action. Their model and formulas told them it would work.

What, they just lucked into it? And all the subsequent devices, reactors, and on and on? All just blind luck?

If someones models work so amazingly perfectly like this, the errors in the model have to be almost unimaginably tiny.

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**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\
**Post date:** [April 4, 2019, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-to-build-a-machine-that-generates-more-power-than-it-uses/805975/144 "2019-04-04T14:19:00Z")

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Steorn Ltd was a small, private technology development company based in Dublin, Ireland. In August 2006, it announced that it had developed a technology to provide “free, clean, and constant energy” via an apparent perpetual motion machine, something which is contrary to the law of conservation of energy, a fundamental principle of physics.  
Steorn challenged the scientific community to investigate their claim and, in December 2006, said that it had chosen a jury of scientists to do so. In June 2009 the jury gave its unanimous verdict that Steorn had not demonstrated the production of energy.  
Steorn gave two public demonstrations of their technology. In the first demonstration, in July 2007 at the Kinetica Museum in London, the device failed to work. The second demonstration, which ran from December 2009 to February 2010 at the Waterways Visitor Centre in Dublin, involved a motor powered by a battery and provided no independent evidence that excess energy was being generated.  
It was dismissed by the press as an attempt to build a perpetual motion machine, and a publicity stunt.

**In November 2016, the company laid off its staff, closed its facility, and prepared for liquidation.**

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**Author:** ![Vinyasi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/9dc877/32.png) [@Vinyasi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vinyasi)\
**Post date:** [April 6, 2019, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-to-build-a-machine-that-generates-more-power-than-it-uses/805975/145 "2019-04-06T01:38:48Z")

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It has come to my awareness that my simulations of Joseph Newman, along with my present endeavors, all point to one oversight evading me up until now…

That both devices require a high frequency input to _appear_ to function as overunity if we ignore the salient wisdom of our common sense concerning the electromagnetic spectrum…

> [@](#):
>
> Photon energy is directly proportional to the wave frequency, …snip — [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electromagnetic\_spectrum#Range](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electromagnetic_spectrum#Range)

The problem is what Newman has elected to share with us doesn’t jive with my simulations of his device…

[screenshot of HF input at the so-called bar magnet](http://vinyasi.info/circuitjs1/texts/Joseph%20Newman/The%20Energy%20Machine%20of%20Joseph%20Newman,%20v13%20-%20tightly%20coupled%20with%20neon%20bulb%20recharging%20the%20batteries.jpg)

[LTSpice circuit file of HF input at the so-called bar magnet](http://vinyasi.info/circuitjs1/texts/Joseph%20Newman/The%20Energy%20Machine%20of%20Joseph%20Newman,%20v13%20-%20tightly%20coupled%20with%20neon%20bulb%20recharging%20the%20batteries.asc)

[screenshot of LF input at the so-called bar magnet](http://vinyasi.info/circuitjs1/texts/Joseph%20Newman/The%20Energy%20Machine%20of%20Joseph%20Newman,%20v3b.jpg)

[LTSpice circuit file of LF input at the so-called bar magnet](http://vinyasi.info/circuitjs1/texts/Joseph%20Newman/The%20Energy%20Machine%20of%20Joseph%20Newman,%20v3b.asc)

A slow rotation of a bar magnet cannot possibly induce sufficient gain to recharge the batteries.

Frequency equals energy; the higher the frequency, the more the energy. This is standard knowledge.

But where is this extra frequency coming from if not from the rotating bar magnet in the center of the coil?

It is coming from the excitation of helium inside the canister wrapped with a coil masquerading as a bar magnet per our taking Newman at his word.

[Byron Brubaker](https://www.facebook.com/mx6maximus) is an electrical engineer who has had many a discussion with Newman spanning decades.

He has confided in me that he gave Newman the insight concerning the tendency for helium to exhibit an enhancement of its electromagnetics if this gas were to be enclosed in a glass bulb and surrounded by a coil (as an example).

What irked Byron for the longest time until now – having finally made his peace with Joseph – is that Newman never credited Byron. Joe decided, instead, to credit God for having given himself this insight.

So, there you have it. No overunity, but a hidden source of energy – hidden from our knowledge by an inventor wanting to keep his secret close to himself.

It makes sense that a little tickle should excite helium to add another tickle of its own at a much higher pitch serving as a HF input of low voltage and low resistance capable of blending its sine wave contribution with that of the HV and LF D/C square waves (chopped up by the commutator) and all of this combining inside the massive, highly resistive copper coil giving the benefit of a slow rotation and high torque as a mechanical gain and a slight recharge of its batteries (but no significant electrical gain; at least nothing to brag about).

No overunity; no free energy; plus a minor dose of secrecy.🆒

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Vinyasi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/9dc877/32.png) [@Vinyasi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vinyasi)\
**Post date:** [April 6, 2019, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-to-build-a-machine-that-generates-more-power-than-it-uses/805975/146 "2019-04-06T01:49:12Z")

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> [@ftg](#):
>
> So Physicists 74 years ago using a _completely wrong_ model of the atom and primitive equipment by today’s standards were nonetheless able to deliberately achieve [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wki4hg9Om-k)?
> 
> And they didn’t even bother to test the Little Boy design ahead of time. It’s first use was in action. Their model and formulas told them it would work.
> 
> What, they just lucked into it? And all the subsequent devices, reactors, and on and on? All just blind luck?
> 
> If someones models work so amazingly perfectly like this, the errors in the model have to be almost unimaginably tiny.

… we may still deny what we see in favor of what we believe. Doing is belief in action: the commitment to go further with our belief than its mere entertainment by our psyche.

What people say and what people do are two different things.

People are entitled to have any opinion they want when it comes to theorizing from their observations.

In the end, it’s what they do with their theories which matters the most since that is what will impact us - not their ideologies.

I give my own theories as an exercise in critical thinking. For I have to wonder “how is it that I succeed?” But does it really matter what I think?

Something is allowing me to succeed. And when that something is not a free, open-source electronic software, but a robust, industry standard worth over two grand at the checkout counter, I have to wonder whether or not I should be asking - nay, demanding - a refund if (as you guys claim) I’m wrong.

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**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\
**Post date:** [April 6, 2019, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-to-build-a-machine-that-generates-more-power-than-it-uses/805975/147 "2019-04-06T01:49:56Z")

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Since you’ve just admitted it’s all bullshit, shouldn’t your book be marked down a bit more than $15.74?

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**Author:** ![Vinyasi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/9dc877/32.png) [@Vinyasi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vinyasi)\
**Post date:** [April 6, 2019, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-to-build-a-machine-that-generates-more-power-than-it-uses/805975/148 "2019-04-06T03:02:52Z")

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> [@running\_coach](#):
>
> Since you’ve just admitted it’s all bullshit, shouldn’t your book be marked down a bit more than $15.74?

Does “it’s” refer to HF? How can HF be bs? Now that I’ve uncovered Joe’s secret, wouldn’t it be more appropriate to get all excited and want to build it the way he did it and succeed instead of the way he told us to do it and fail?

I don’t understand the relevancy of your point. If you had bothered to buy my text (assuming you don’t trust my admission that I base my present design on my successful simulation of his), you would have seen its schematic is using a HF input just like I’m telling you Newman needed to use despite his hiding it from us.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Vinyasi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/9dc877/32.png) [@Vinyasi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vinyasi)\
**Post date:** [April 6, 2019, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-to-build-a-machine-that-generates-more-power-than-it-uses/805975/149 "2019-04-06T12:42:23Z")

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> [@running\_coach](#):
>
> $150???  
> That’ll certainly pay off a lot of utility bills.  
> Which makes the book a source of free energy.

I took your hinted criticism and reduced the price at the same time as reposting the text with a new title more accurate for its content…

> **[Using Transients as a Renewable Source of Pollution-Free Energy: Transients are...](https://www.amazon.com/Transients-Renewable-Source-Pollution-Free-Energy/dp/1092576983)**
>
> Using Transients as a Renewable Source of Pollution-Free Energy: Transients are an opportunity waiting to be commercialized. \[Vinyasi\] on Amazon.com. \*FREE\* shipping on qualifying offers. Using Transients as a Renewable Source of Pollution-Free...

and  
[http://is.gd/etranpow](http://is.gd/etranpow)

I was doing searches on Amazon to see what came up when I plugged in: “free energy” only to find books on diets free of gluten. I’m no Steinmetz. Yet, transients are what this book is about - despite my tendency to call them surges since I don’t like what the term of transient implies: a tenuous lifespan, which is only true if we allow a transient to eat up a circuit. My job has been to simulate that prevention so as to lengthen their lifespan long enough to maybe get some use out of them.

Free energy is not appropriate as a title since that is merely the intended effect - not its cause. And since I spend over two-thirds of the text discussing theoretical causation, you’d think I’d steer away from whatever benefit a transient may bring to its user and title the book likewise? Well, I’m slow to learn.:smack:

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**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\
**Post date:** [April 6, 2019, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-to-build-a-machine-that-generates-more-power-than-it-uses/805975/150 "2019-04-06T15:35:31Z")

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They write themselves.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\
**Post date:** [April 6, 2019, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-to-build-a-machine-that-generates-more-power-than-it-uses/805975/151 "2019-04-06T23:05:27Z")

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> [@Exapno\_Mapcase](#):
>
> They write themselves.

They literally do, due to the posts being inside a massive, highly resistive copper coil. Basically a little tickle excites the verbiage of a previous post to add another tickle of its own at a much higher pitch serving as a HF input of low voltage and low resistance capable of blending its sine wave contribution with that of the HV and LF D/C square waves (chopped up by the commutator), and voila! A new post has written itself, generating free energy in the process.

Someone should put this thread out of its misery before it starts some sort of energetic uncontrolled chain reaction.

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**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\
**Post date:** [April 7, 2019, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-to-build-a-machine-that-generates-more-power-than-it-uses/805975/152 "2019-04-07T12:26:56Z")

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I’ve seen quite a few threads here in which posters state that they have discovered the way to create ‘free’ energy.  
Of course it would be interesting to discuss their theories, but sadly the same pattern emerges every time:

- the poster ignores scientific discussion of their idea
- the poster keeps giving Internet links as if they were evidence
- the poster declines to actually build a working machine, since they don’t like publicity, fame or a billion dollars 😕:smack:

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**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\
**Post date:** [April 7, 2019, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-to-build-a-machine-that-generates-more-power-than-it-uses/805975/153 "2019-04-07T14:09:26Z")

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I think we passed a milestone a few years back. AI can generate “Scientific” papers that make more sense and are more enjoyable to read than crank gibberish.

That’s how I know these recent posts aren’t an AI someone is testing.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Vinyasi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/9dc877/32.png) [@Vinyasi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vinyasi)\
**Post date:** [April 10, 2019, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-to-build-a-machine-that-generates-more-power-than-it-uses/805975/154 "2019-04-10T20:30:22Z")

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[https://vimeo.com/vinyasi/pitchdeck](https://vimeo.com/vinyasi/pitchdeck)

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**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\
**Post date:** [April 10, 2019, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-to-build-a-machine-that-generates-more-power-than-it-uses/805975/155 "2019-04-10T21:26:53Z")

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> [@Vinyasi](#):
>
> [https://vimeo.com/vinyasi/pitchdeck](https://vimeo.com/vinyasi/pitchdeck)

Well, at least it’s not a bare Youtube video link, so that’s progress.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Vinyasi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/9dc877/32.png) [@Vinyasi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vinyasi)\
**Post date:** [May 1, 2019, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-to-build-a-machine-that-generates-more-power-than-it-uses/805975/156 "2019-05-01T00:48:04Z")

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> [@ftg](#):
>
> And thank you for this!
> 
> Yep, Physicists have been conspiring for over a hundred years to prevent people from using a new energy source. Since all Physicists are clearly in the pocket of … [Big Atom](https://xkcd.com/2130/)?? (Obl. XKCD reference.)
> 
> Why does an image of starting an old-timey car spring to mind?

Old time cars prior to 1920 were not defying any precious laws of physics since physics hadn’t begun its campaign, yet, of obliterating novel thoughts and the devices which spring from them.

[http://vinyasi.info/energy/Ammann%20Brothers,%20Newspaper%20Article.jpg](http://vinyasi.info/energy/Ammann%20Brothers,%20Newspaper%20Article.jpg)

> [@](#):
>
> We’ve been lied to by physicists. It’s not energy which is conserved; it’s force. Energy is recreated all the time to compensate for energy being destroyed by the passage of time whether or not we make use of energy. But forces cannot be created, nor can they be destroyed. Furthermore, forces are the ingredients of energy. And the word: “atom” designates the final frontier of breaking down matter. But electrical energy is _not_ atomic. It can be broken down into forces which we can easily manipulate in a simple circuit without having to use atom smashers funded by huge government grants. Electrical energy is constantly being renewed from eternal forces which are conserved. By knowing how to manipulate electrical energy, it is possible to recreate electrical energy by reusing enough of its constituent forces to prevent running out of electrical energy. To explain this phenomenon, people entering a movie theater may help… Let’s say we need to distribute 100 tickets for a show, but we have only 50 people who are willing to see this show. So, we ask each person to enter the theater twice and be counted twice. This analogy breaks down since paying for a ticket does not consume anyone’s financial resources if we consider that a force cannot be consumed by its use since only time consumes energy; we cannot consume energy. So in this analogy, it’s as if each person is not charged money for buying a ticket, but is merely tabulated and then credited for having paid for each time that he or she enters the theater without depleting anyone’s wallet. This is how electrical energy at the atomic level actually works. But chemistry is different. In particular, the chemistry of a battery is different. Chemistry and nuclear fusion and fission are limited to the mass of material supplying those forms of energy, such as: batteries and nuclear warheads. In contrast, electricity is not tied to the mass of copper material carrying that electricity through a circuit. It’s tied to merely two forces: the magnetomotive force and the electromotive force plus time.

> [@](#):
>
> Nos han mentido los físicos. La energía no se conserva. La fuerza se conserva. La energía se recrea todo el tiempo para compensar la energía destruida por el paso del tiempo, ya sea que hagamos uso de la energía o no. Pero las fuerzas no pueden ser creadas, ni pueden ser destruidas. Además, las fuerzas son los ingredientes de la energía. Y la palabra: “átomo” designa la frontera final de descomponer la materia. Pero la energía eléctrica _no_ es atómica. Se puede dividir en fuerzas que podemos manipular fácilmente en un circuito simple sin tener que usar destructores de átomos financiados por enormes subvenciones gubernamentales. La energía eléctrica se renueva constantemente de las fuerzas eternas que se conservan. Al saber cómo manipular la energía eléctrica, es posible recrear la energía eléctrica reutilizando una cantidad suficiente de sus fuerzas constituyentes para evitar que se quede sin energía eléctrica. Para explicar este fenómeno, las personas que entran en una sala de cine pueden ayudar … Digamos que necesitamos distribuir 100 entradas para un espectáculo, pero solo tenemos 50 personas que están dispuestas a ver este espectáculo. Entonces, le pedimos a cada persona que ingrese al teatro dos veces y que se los tabular dos veces. Esta analogía se rompe porque el pago de un boleto no consume los recursos financieros de nadie si consideramos que el uso de una fuerza no puede ser consumido ya que solo el tiempo consume energía. No podemos consumir energía. Entonces, en esta analogía, es como si a cada persona no se le cobrara dinero por comprar un boleto, sino que simplemente se tabula y luego se le acredita por haber pagado cada vez que ingresa al teatro sin agotar la billetera de nadie. Así es como funciona realmente la energía eléctrica a nivel atómico. Pero la química es diferente. En particular, la química de una batería es diferente. La química, la fusión nuclear y la fisión se limitan a la masa de material que suministra esas formas de energía, tales como: baterías y ojivas nucleares. En contraste, la electricidad no está ligada a la masa de material de cobre que lleva esa electricidad a través de un circuito. Está ligado a solo dos fuerzas: la fuerza magnetomotriz y la fuerza electromotriz más el tiempo.

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**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\
**Post date:** [May 1, 2019, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-to-build-a-machine-that-generates-more-power-than-it-uses/805975/157 "2019-05-01T03:38:45Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> Electrical energy is constantly being renewed from eternal forces which are conserved.

Prove it.

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**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\
**Post date:** [May 1, 2019, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-to-build-a-machine-that-generates-more-power-than-it-uses/805975/158 "2019-05-01T03:53:27Z")

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Do you know what any of those words mean?

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**Author:** ![Triskadecamus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@Triskadecamus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Triskadecamus)\
**Post date:** [May 1, 2019, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-to-build-a-machine-that-generates-more-power-than-it-uses/805975/159 "2019-05-01T04:10:12Z")

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The only thing this thread needs is popcorn.

No, wait, the only two things this thread needs are popcorn, and beer!

No, wait the only three things this thread needs are popcorn, beer, and hot young people in revealing swimwear!

Tris

* * *

I got noting to add, so I felt obliged to speak up.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\
**Post date:** [May 1, 2019, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-possible-to-build-a-machine-that-generates-more-power-than-it-uses/805975/160 "2019-05-01T06:00:54Z")

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> [@Triskadecamus](#):
>
> The only thing this thread needs is popcorn.
> 
> No, wait, the only two things this thread needs are popcorn, and beer!
> 
> No, wait the only three things this thread needs are popcorn, beer, and hot young people in revealing swimwear!

Take away the “thread” part, and I’m in.

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