# Is it rude not to include a person's name in a greeting card? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 24, 2003, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-not-to-include-a-persons-name-in-a-greeting-card/203600 "2003-09-24T18:15:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2003, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-not-to-include-a-persons-name-in-a-greeting-card/203600/21 "2003-09-24T21:01:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by auntie em \* > \*\*Ooops. Sorry I misunderstood. When you said, “Perhaps you missed this part of the OP” to Otto, I thought you were being sarcastic. :o \*\* Not at all. I genuinely thought he may have skimmed past that part and it seemed relevant enough to bring it to his attention, in case he overlooked it. No apology necessary – I’m glad to have had the opportunity to clear that up, since others may have misunderstood, as well. 🙂 **CrazyCatLady** , you crack me up! And **Flamsterette\_X** , it takes a special someone to ask for advice and opinions of people and then harbor ill thoughts towards those who express opinions that don’t prop up your erroneous and self-centered attitude. _Sure_, you “have a right to be a touch dismayed,” but it says quite a lot about you that you are. Those feelings are inappropriate, given the circumstances. My final words to you with regard to that are, get over it. ---
**Author:** ![Tiburon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e36b37/32.png) [@Tiburon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tiburon)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2003, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-not-to-include-a-persons-name-in-a-greeting-card/203600/22 "2003-09-24T21:06:14Z")
I’m damn near fuming but will keep this brief. IT IS NOT RUDE. This friggin’ OP, however, IS. Talk about selfish. I know John and _never_ in a million years would he slight a friend intentionally. Even if it _is_ proper decorum to put someone’s name inside a card, which I don’t think there is _any_ definitive answer on thus far, it is _incredibly_ tacky and rude of you to post this with the off chance of making him feel badly about it. I think you’re being petty, inconsiderate, rude and really, a horrible friend. ---
**Author:** ![porcupine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ac91a4/32.png) [@porcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/porcupine)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2003, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-not-to-include-a-persons-name-in-a-greeting-card/203600/23 "2003-09-24T21:10:15Z")
Pity when a thread doesn’t goes as hoped, isn’t it? You did ask for opinions, though. For the record, if any of you would like to send me a birthday card, I’d like my name written in caligraphy. Also, please send a cashier’s check made out in my name. And be sure to spell it correctly. ---
**Author:** ![Tiburon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e36b37/32.png) [@Tiburon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tiburon)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2003, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-not-to-include-a-persons-name-in-a-greeting-card/203600/24 "2003-09-24T21:36:04Z")
Just to be sure - do I have to start a Pit thread to call someone a bitch or can I do it here? Like, can I say, “IMHO, you are a bitch.” or do I need to do that elsewhere? Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2003, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-not-to-include-a-persons-name-in-a-greeting-card/203600/25 "2003-09-24T21:44:53Z")
Not that I care bouta degenerate’s opinion, anyhow… but I’m sure it’s not intentional. ---
**Author:** ![JoeyHemlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7ba0ec/32.png) [@JoeyHemlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoeyHemlock)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2003, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-not-to-include-a-persons-name-in-a-greeting-card/203600/26 "2003-09-24T21:47:22Z")
So, the card was a total surprise. But you weren’t happy with it because he didn’t mention you by name. Hmm. I guess beggars _can_ be choosers. I’ve read a lot of stupid complaints on the boards, but this might be a cake-taker. ---
**Author:** ![Dragonblink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Dragonblink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragonblink)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2003, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-not-to-include-a-persons-name-in-a-greeting-card/203600/27 "2003-09-24T21:54:01Z")
Considering the gentleman in question, I’m with the “not rude” camp as well as with **Shayna** and **Tiburon**. He took the trouble to send you a card with a written message in it, and you’re offended because he didn’t write your name? Color me confused. From what I know of John, he is 100% class and the epitome of gentlemanliness. You know there is no way he meant the slightest insult. Thank him for the card, and move on. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2003, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-not-to-include-a-persons-name-in-a-greeting-card/203600/28 "2003-09-24T21:57:03Z")
I once caught a fish! THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS BIG! ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2003, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-not-to-include-a-persons-name-in-a-greeting-card/203600/29 "2003-09-24T21:57:28Z")
Jesus mary and the lord. What got to me the most was “can’t he make the special effort for ME?” Who are you? Goddess Juno? He sent you a birthday card. Ever hear of ‘it’s the thought that counts’? Cripes almighty, no good deed shall go unpunished I guess. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2003, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-not-to-include-a-persons-name-in-a-greeting-card/203600/30 "2003-09-24T21:58:01Z")
I can not believe that you would post an OP like this. Not only does it speak of rudeness, but my God, HE READS THIS. And you’re calling **Tiburon** a degenerate? This is insane. ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2003, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-not-to-include-a-persons-name-in-a-greeting-card/203600/31 "2003-09-24T22:03:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Flamsterette\_X \* > \*\*Not that I care bouta degenerate’s opinion, anyhow… but I’m sure it’s not intentional. \*\* Excuse me, are you calling **Tiburon** a _degenerate_? **Flamsterette** , this is the first time I have ever considered pitting another person. Am I biased because **Tiburon** is a good friend of mine and I happen to know that she is an all-round super human being? Hell yes. Explain yourself, please. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2003, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-not-to-include-a-persons-name-in-a-greeting-card/203600/32 "2003-09-24T22:06:20Z")
Wow. I had no idea this sort of thing was even _noticed_ let alone fretted about. But it’s good to know. Now I can go back and take a look at all of the thoughtful cards that my so called “friends” sent me for no reason whatsoever except to be nice to me and see if they included my name inside of them. I’ll bet they didn’t, the rat bastards. Who in the hell do they think they are anyway? ---
**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2003, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-not-to-include-a-persons-name-in-a-greeting-card/203600/33 "2003-09-24T22:08:30Z")
I’ll say to you what I say to my four year old daughter when she doesn’t get everything exactly her way: “WAAAHHHHHHH. I’M ACTING LIKE A WHINEY LITTLE BABY, WAHHHHHHH!” ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2003, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-not-to-include-a-persons-name-in-a-greeting-card/203600/34 "2003-09-24T22:12:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\*but I was a bit more disappointed that he hadn’t taken the time to at least include my name in the card. (yes, I _know_ his MS makes it very difficult to write things… especially as he has only one working hand… but couldn’t he have made that special effort for me?) \*\*I just had to see that in writing again, and I tried to think of a more self-centered, I-am-the-center-of-the-known-universe statement, and I could not. ---
**Author:** ![Futile\_Gesture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f05b48/32.png) [@Futile\_Gesture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Futile_Gesture)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2003, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-not-to-include-a-persons-name-in-a-greeting-card/203600/35 "2003-09-24T22:12:12Z")
Yous lot just don’t know what it’s like to forget your name. Having it written there on your birthday cards is the one of the few things left to remind you. And he could have made the effort to make the card himself, and deliver it by hand, walking the whole way whistling ‘Happy Birthday’. And once he got there, he could have at least sung the greeting. And what’s with the biro, what’s wrong with a proper quill, and couldn’t he have written it in blood? Was he in a rush of something? If he’s not going to take the time to do it properly, well, I don’t know. It’s a wonder you didn’t just throw it straight in the trash. ---
**Author:** ![CanadianSue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@CanadianSue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanadianSue)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2003, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-not-to-include-a-persons-name-in-a-greeting-card/203600/36 "2003-09-24T22:12:31Z")
It’s not the sender that is rude and you aren’t disappointed, you are truly ungrateful and in my opinion, totally undeserving of receiving anything thoughtful from anyone after pulling a stunt like this. To even consider bringing it up to him, or anyone else for that matter is school yard brat behaviour. ---
**Author:** ![Doobieous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/da6949/32.png) [@Doobieous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doobieous)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2003, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-not-to-include-a-persons-name-in-a-greeting-card/203600/37 "2003-09-24T22:29:33Z")
I’ll refrain from calling you what i really think you are, but you really are inconsiderate and rude to get pissy and then POST on a message board about how he omitted your name. You should be damn grateful he took the time to SEND you the card and even WRITE you a note, especially since he has MS. And don’t give any of us that BS how you are grateful. Someone who is gracious and polite takes kind gestures and leaves them at that, they do NOT post what you did. Quit crying like an ungrateful spoiled brat and move on. Wah wah wah, _plays tiny violin_. Oh and i hope you get flamed if you indeed did call Tiburon a degenerate. ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2003, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-not-to-include-a-persons-name-in-a-greeting-card/203600/38 "2003-09-24T22:32:14Z")
What’s rude is to get upset over something so utterly petty, and to post about it here when the sender is also a member of this board. Furthermore, you insult the people who respond when you don’t get the answer you wanted. Frankly, I can’t say anything more that’s not Pit-worthy. ---
**Author:** ![Francesca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2003, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-not-to-include-a-persons-name-in-a-greeting-card/203600/39 "2003-09-24T22:37:28Z")
I am almost speachless at your response to the fact that he didn’t write your name on the card. You _don’t_ have a right to be a touch dismayed. You may well feel that way, but it isn’t your god-given right to express that on a public message board (whih it seems he does read). The man has MS and the use of one working hand! Listen to yourself! And Tibby’s a “degenerate”? Would you like to explain yourself on that one? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2003, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-not-to-include-a-persons-name-in-a-greeting-card/203600/40 "2003-09-24T22:37:28Z")
You do realize that you forgot to include the little smiley face that let’s everyone know you were joking, right? Well since you asked a question, I’ll provide an answer. Abso-fucking-lutely not. Not only is putting the recipient’s name on the inside of the card redundant, it is a bit odd. The name goes on the envelope, a personalized message goes on the inside of the card. I also don’t think you should rewrite “happy birthday” directly under the printed Happy Birthday either but maybe that’s just me. I just so happen to have a whole stack of Happy Anniversary cards given to my husband and I a couple of weeks ago. You know what, not a single Thom or Cindi inside any of them. As for your “degenerate” comment to Tibby, Fuck you. Tibby is one of the smartest, sweetest and most tolerant people on the boards or on LJ. Where in the world do _you_ get off calling _her_ names you ignorant, ungrateful ass. You owe her, John, Shayna I wouldn’t worry too much about anyone forgetting to personalize any additonal cards for you in the precise manner you seem to require because I predict that won’t be a problem in the future. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-not-to-include-a-persons-name-in-a-greeting-card/203600.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-not-to-include-a-persons-name-in-a-greeting-card/203600.md?page=3)