# Is it rude to ask a friend to delete bad photos of you? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 29, 2017, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-ask-a-friend-to-delete-bad-photos-of-you/790111 "2017-06-29T02:25:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![cdm17](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/73ab20/32.png) [@cdm17](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cdm17)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2017, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-ask-a-friend-to-delete-bad-photos-of-you/790111/1 "2017-06-29T02:25:39Z")
Recently my friend posted a photo of me on instagram that is very unflattering of me and where I feel like I look really overweight. I really want to ask her to delete it from Instagram but I am wondering if it is rude to or not. I am normally not someone to do this. I never really ask to remove pictures I think I look bad in and will simply untag myself and not say anything, however, this picture has really really been bothering me. I am struggling with an eating disorder and have been making it a point not to post or take pictures as much as possible because it triggers my eating disorder. (My friend doesn’t know I have an eating disorder. I’m a very private person and don’t like talking about it). Anyway, It may not seem like a big deal and I know its silly, but I have been thinking about this picture ever since it was posted (about a week ago) and it is making me feel horrible and really hurting my self confidence. I think if it was taken off and I couldnt see it, I could work more successfully on getting better and not obsess over it anymore. On the other hand though, there are about 4 other people it the picture. Granted these people do not even go on instagram often, but I still feel kind of selfish asking her to take it down. Do you think it would be rude of me to ask to take it down? ---
**Author:** ![UDS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecae2f/32.png) [@UDS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UDS)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2017, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-ask-a-friend-to-delete-bad-photos-of-you/790111/2 "2017-06-29T02:43:36Z")
No, it’s not rude. If I was your friend who had taken and posted the photograph and my actions were causing you the problems you describe, I would want to know about that. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2017, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-ask-a-friend-to-delete-bad-photos-of-you/790111/3 "2017-06-29T02:47:08Z")
Not at all. I do agree the other people are a bit of a complication, but you still have every right to ask. There may even be a compromise where they crop you out of the picture, if possible. Though, if they already have a bunch of photos of the other people in those photos, they may just be fine with removing it without a second thought. (And, if the photo is public, setting it to private where only their Instagram friends can see it might be a solution.) There’s also blurring people out and just flat out 'shopping you out of the photo, but those would depend on whether the other person knows how to do that and is willing to do so. Or if you know how, then you could do it and offer them the photo to put up instead. My point is, there’s nothing wrong with telling them you really don’t like the photo and would rather it not be up there. I’ve never had it done to me, as I don’t post many photos or get many taken of me, but I know it’s happened with Facebook friends. Also, I believe you’re new, so welcome! Just follow the “Don’t be a jerk” rule here and you’ll be fine. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2017, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-ask-a-friend-to-delete-bad-photos-of-you/790111/4 "2017-06-29T02:57:31Z")
It isn’t rude to ask. But don’t expect that they will actually take them down. They might, or might not. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2017, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-ask-a-friend-to-delete-bad-photos-of-you/790111/5 "2017-06-29T03:02:33Z")
No. Not rude. Please ask them. Every time I post a pic that has one of my friends in it, for some reason the idea that they might ask me to take it down crosses my mind. And I think to myself that I’d be ok with it. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2017, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-ask-a-friend-to-delete-bad-photos-of-you/790111/6 "2017-06-29T05:17:20Z")
A friend is someone you can say rude things to. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2017, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-ask-a-friend-to-delete-bad-photos-of-you/790111/7 "2017-06-29T07:58:42Z")
> [@jtur88](#): > > A friend is someone you can say rude things to. You have an interesting view of friendship. Normally, I’d say yeah, ask to have it taken down. You don’t even need to say anything more than “I really don’t like that picture of me. Could you do me a favor and take it down? I’d really appreciate it. Thanks!” But it’s not a picture of you. It’s a picture of you and some other people. You can still ask to have it taken down, but don’t expect it to be and don’t make a scene if your friend doesn’t want to. Not rude to ask. Rude to insist or to protest if the friend doesn’t want to take it down. ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2017, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-ask-a-friend-to-delete-bad-photos-of-you/790111/8 "2017-06-29T08:18:44Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > You have an interesting view of friendship. Or he lives in somewhere like the UK or Australia, where it can be OK (depending on your social circle and context) to call your friends a cunt. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2017, 9:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-ask-a-friend-to-delete-bad-photos-of-you/790111/9 "2017-06-29T09:42:26Z")
> [@Martini\_Enfield](#): > > Or he lives in somewhere like the UK or Australia, where it can be OK (depending on your social circle and context) to call your friends a cunt. Well, **jtur88** lives in Texas. It might even be OK there. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2017, 9:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-ask-a-friend-to-delete-bad-photos-of-you/790111/10 "2017-06-29T09:52:44Z")
If its just off you then no. If its a Group Photo, then yes. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2017, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-ask-a-friend-to-delete-bad-photos-of-you/790111/11 "2017-06-29T11:12:31Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > You have an interesting view of friendship. My friends don’t object. They often tell me if I’m doing something stupid, which would be rude if t hey were not friends. But then, my friends aren’t 900 strangers on Facebook, either. Which is an interesting view on friendship. ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2017, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-ask-a-friend-to-delete-bad-photos-of-you/790111/12 "2017-06-29T11:31:32Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > You have an interesting view of friendship. > . True Friends Stab You in the Front - Bring Me The Horizon ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2017, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-ask-a-friend-to-delete-bad-photos-of-you/790111/13 "2017-06-29T11:48:45Z")
Not rude at all. I would explain it as you did here so she fully understands. And if its a friend they will be happy to. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2017, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-ask-a-friend-to-delete-bad-photos-of-you/790111/14 "2017-06-29T12:34:49Z")
I checked in on Facebook at a bar a few years ago. In the picture I posted you could clearly see Mike, so I tagged him. Mrs Mike called Mike. He stepped outside and answered. She asked where he was and he said he was at work. Busted, big time. I felt bad, and have asked before posting pictures since then. ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2017, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-ask-a-friend-to-delete-bad-photos-of-you/790111/15 "2017-06-29T14:00:59Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > I checked in on Facebook at a bar a few years ago. In the picture I posted you could clearly see Mike, so I tagged him. > > Mrs Mike called Mike. He stepped outside and answered. She asked where he was and he said he was at work. Busted, big time. I felt bad, and have asked before posting pictures since then. This sort of thing is one of the many, many reasons I don’t like Facebook.