# Is it rude to ask a vegetarian why they are so? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 16, 2006, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-ask-a-vegetarian-why-they-are-so/384361 "2006-12-16T02:12:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2006, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-ask-a-vegetarian-why-they-are-so/384361/81 "2006-12-20T19:15:06Z")
The funniest are the people that try and figure out why my SO doesn’t eat beef. It has nothing to do with religion, culture or anything else…he just doesn’t like beef. They usually start in with “what about chicken, or fish, or lamb or insert other meat product here?” It’s really odd, people don’t seem to get that he just doesn’t like beef. ---
**Author:** ![fluiddruid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@fluiddruid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fluiddruid)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2006, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-ask-a-vegetarian-why-they-are-so/384361/82 "2006-12-20T21:23:29Z")
[QUOTE=Antinor01] The funniest are the people that try and figure out why my SO doesn’t eat beef. It has nothing to do with religion, culture or anything else…he just doesn’t like beef. They usually start in with “what about chicken, or fish, or lamb or insert other meat product here?” It’s really odd, people don’t seem to get that he just doesn’t like beef. [/QUOTE] People usually ask these questions anyway! At my old job, our hiring practices were quite lax, so I used to deal with dimwitted people all the time. I would try to not tell them I was vegetarian just to avoid the long IQ-draining conversation. (Note: I am not exaggerating this conversation.) “Do you want some Li’l Smokies?” “No, thanks.” “But they’re really good!” “That’s ok.” “No really, they are soooo good!” “No thank you.” “But so-and-so made them, aren’t you going to at least try them?” “I’m vegetarian.” “Oh… [long pause] So, you don’t eat any meat?” “That’s right.” “No meat at all?” “Nope.” “Never?” “Never.” “Don’t you miss it?” “Not really.” “What about fish?” “No fish.” “Chicken?” “No.” “Beef?” “No.” “Ham?” “No.” “Not even _bacon_?” “…No.” Yes, seriously, this person started asking about fish but then worked their way up to pork and beef. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2006, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-ask-a-vegetarian-why-they-are-so/384361/83 "2006-12-20T21:52:11Z")
[QUOTE=fluiddruid] People usually ask these questions anyway! At my old job, our hiring practices were quite lax, so I used to deal with dimwitted people all the time. I would try to not tell them I was vegetarian just to avoid the long IQ-draining conversation. (Note: I am not exaggerating this conversation. Yes, seriously, this person started asking about fish but then worked their way up to pork and beef. [/QUOTE] (quote snipped for brevity) Oh, I totally understand that. I just find it amusing because he is not a vegetarian, far from it..he just doesn’t like beef. For whatever reason people find that very strange. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2006, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-ask-a-vegetarian-why-they-are-so/384361/84 "2006-12-20T22:11:41Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > Fish-eaters who call themselves vegetarians piss me off. Why? You can label yourself anything you want. They can label themselves anything they want. It just shows that labelling proves nothing. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2006, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-ask-a-vegetarian-why-they-are-so/384361/85 "2006-12-20T23:23:54Z")
[QUOTE=Otto] Someone who eats animals is, by definition, not a vegetarian. Fish are not plants. Fish-eaters who call themselves vegetarians piss me off. “Pesco-vegetarian” is horseshit. [/QUOTE] I’m not trying to start a fight over this ('cause in fact I generally agree with this), but I thought of something today that made me think about this again. All other food choice styles we define by what they **do** eat, not what they don’t: carnivores do eat meat. Herbivores do eat plants, Omnivores do eat practically “everything”, or at least we can. Fruitarians eat fruit, breatharians are delusional, so their heads are full of air, if not their bellies! So why is “vegetarian” the only one defined by what they **don’t** eat? That doesn’t make sense. A “vegetarian” is one who eats vegetables (or plant matter), and “octo-lavo vegetarian” eats milk, eggs and plant matter. So of course a “pesco-vegetarian” eats fish and plant matter. What they _don’t_ eat shouldn’t enter into it, logically. They aren’t “omnivores”, because they won’t eat large categories of what their culture deems edible. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2006, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-ask-a-vegetarian-why-they-are-so/384361/86 "2006-12-21T02:12:32Z")
[QUOTE=WhyNot] So why is “vegetarian” the only one defined by what they **don’t** eat? That doesn’t make sense. A “vegetarian” is one who eats vegetables (or plant matter), and “octo-lavo vegetarian” eats milk, eggs and plant matter. So of course a “pesco-vegetarian” eats fish and plant matter. What they _don’t_ eat shouldn’t enter into it, logically. They aren’t “omnivores”, because they won’t eat large categories of what their culture deems edible. [/QUOTE] I don’t follow you. Vegetarians are defined by what they DO eat-- vegetable matter. Lacto-ovo DO eat milk and eggs, in addition to vegetables. Pescatarians DO eat fish. What is this about defining by what they DON’T eat? They don’t eat animal’s bodies. It’s as simple as that. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2006, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-ask-a-vegetarian-why-they-are-so/384361/87 "2006-12-21T02:16:44Z")
[QUOTE=Rubystreak] I don’t follow you. Vegetarians are defined by what they DO eat-- vegetable matter. Lacto-ovo DO eat milk and eggs, in addition to vegetables. Pescatarians DO eat fish. What is this about defining by what they DON’T eat? They don’t eat animal’s bodies. It’s as simple as that. [/QUOTE] It was in response to **Otto** ’s assertion that “pesco-vegetarian” is horseshit because vegetarians, by definition, do \*\*not \*\*eat meat. I’m saying that, by definition, they DO eat vegetation, but that can be modified any way the individual cares to with other descriptive words. ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2006, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-ask-a-vegetarian-why-they-are-so/384361/88 "2006-12-21T02:52:53Z")
**WhyNot** , I see what you’re saying, and it makes sense in terms of definition of what you choose to eat or not. And absolute sense in terms of those who choose dietary restrictions of flesh eating for purely health reasons, as opposed to ethical concerns over killing any creature. This could be by opposition to the cruel practices of modern technique of raising animals, or an opposition to eating another creature absolutely. For **Otto** and **Rubystreak** , the offense is that vegetarian means just that: one who eats only vegetables, and “Pescatarian” serves fine for those who eat fish. They don’t deserve the Veg distinction, because a Fish is still a life taken. Ovo-Lacto isn’t in the same league, because no distinct life is taken by eating eggs or milk. Does this help with the distinctions? I’ll add, I’m a decades ovo-lacto vegetarian, for ethical reasons,(ovos less and less often), and used to back-in-the-day when it was not so accepted, and had to explain it over and over and over… As I get older, I get looser about distinctions. Do the best you can, think a good bit about where your food comes from, how lucky you are to have it, try to avoid another’s suffering, and be gracious. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2006, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-ask-a-vegetarian-why-they-are-so/384361/89 "2006-12-21T04:06:30Z")
[QUOTE=elelle] They don’t deserve the Veg distinction, because a Fish is still a life taken. [/QUOTE] I wasn’t aware plants weren’t alive. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2006, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-ask-a-vegetarian-why-they-are-so/384361/90 "2006-12-21T04:08:37Z")
[QUOTE=Bryan Ekers] I wasn’t aware plants weren’t alive. [/QUOTE] Here we go… :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2006, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-ask-a-vegetarian-why-they-are-so/384361/91 "2006-12-21T05:09:17Z")
[QUOTE=Rubystreak] Here we go… :rolleyes: [/QUOTE] Well, if “a life taken” is the criterion between a vegetarian and non-vegetarian, then by that standard, vegetarians live on inorganic matter. If elelle modifies the statement to “an animal life taken”, fine. And be careful about rolling your eyes. They might fall out and someone’ll eat 'em. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2006, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-ask-a-vegetarian-why-they-are-so/384361/92 "2006-12-21T05:11:38Z")
And besides, if we’re going to label people by what they DO eat, why is “pesco-vegetarian” inaccurate? I’m a likotarian, in that I eat what I like. ---
**Author:** ![SurrenderDorothy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/surrenderdorothy/32/1221_2.png) [@SurrenderDorothy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SurrenderDorothy)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2006, 9:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-ask-a-vegetarian-why-they-are-so/384361/93 "2006-12-21T09:21:47Z")
As far as I’m concerned, pescotarian and pesco-vegetarian are okay terms for fish eaters. The problem arises when they call themselves vegetarians and the real vegetarians do things like… go to weddings after making it known they’re veg and being assured their food will be meat-free, and getting a lovely plate of fish. (which usually goes to waste and ends up being a fish killed for no reason, which just sucks.) Or asking a waiter if the salad is meatless only to find when you get it that there are nasty little anchovies in it. And then, once you learn to specify, everyone suddenly gets that fish=meat, so everyone’s insulted or confused when you say “no meat, no fish” It’s not the end of the world, but it certainly does create some hassle for real vegetarians. So it isn’t that we (or I, at least) care what people call themselves just because of MYOB problems. It does actually have an effect. ---
**Author:** ![Mellivora\_capensis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Mellivora\_capensis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mellivora_capensis)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2006, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-ask-a-vegetarian-why-they-are-so/384361/94 "2006-12-21T14:50:58Z")
[QUOTE=Bryan Ekers] Well, if “a life taken” is the criterion between a vegetarian and non-vegetarian, then by that standard, vegetarians live on inorganic matter. If elelle modifies the statement to “an animal life taken”, fine. … [/QUOTE] Or as a Buddhist would say, a sentient life. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2006, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-ask-a-vegetarian-why-they-are-so/384361/95 "2006-12-21T16:04:18Z")
[QUOTE=Bryan Ekers] Well, if “a life taken” is the criterion between a vegetarian and non-vegetarian, then by that standard, vegetarians live on inorganic matter. [/quote] You’re being a disingenuous nitpicker. I think you know full well what ellele meant and you’re doing that thing that many people said they don’t like. Finding fault, pointing out flaws in people’s belief system. I hardly think precision in language is the goal of your post. > [@](#): > > If elelle modifies the statement to “an animal life taken”, fine. And be careful about rolling your eyes. They might fall out and someone’ll eat 'em. But you know what she meant. Why be so uptight about it? My eyes are practically permanently rolled back on this issue. I’m really tired, after 15 years, of the same digs, the same questions, the same snotty attitude. Since this is not the Pit, I’ll just use this. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2006, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-ask-a-vegetarian-why-they-are-so/384361/96 "2006-12-21T16:21:47Z")
Ignoring the sidetrack the thread has taken, can I just say, this thread has opened my eyes, too. I know that I do NOT ask in an offensive way at all “why are you a vegetarian”? My questioning is generally like this “I’m a vegetarian.” “Oh. Can I ask why?” “Because \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_.” “Oh. Cool. Can you find something to eat at the restaraunt we’re going to?” End of story. But it is rude to ask at all, isn’t it? It makes it seem like I’m calling attention to something different about them. And I hereby apologize to **Spatial Rift 47** , who was the last one I asked, and anyone else I’ve asked. And I’ll stop asking in the future. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2006, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-ask-a-vegetarian-why-they-are-so/384361/97 "2006-12-21T16:30:08Z")
[QUOTE=Anaamika] But it is rude to ask at all, isn’t it? [/QUOTE] It is in most social situations. It’d be like me asking you why you are a Hindu. It’s just a really personal question that is not necessary to ask before asking if a person can eat at a restaurant. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2006, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-ask-a-vegetarian-why-they-are-so/384361/98 "2006-12-21T18:38:23Z")
[QUOTE=Rubystreak] You’re being a disingenuous nitpicker. [/QUOTE] No, I’m asking that you be consistent. Why is it okay to say a person who eats fish cannot claim to be a “pesco-vegetarian” (in the interest of accuracy) and not “a vegetarian diet cannot claim to be free of the taking of life” (in the interest of accuracy)? The labels are pretty arbitrary but the fact that plants are alive (well, until someone picks and eats them) surely is not. I do know what elelle _meant_, but that doesn’t insulate him/her from having an inaccuracy in what he/she _said_ pointed out. And you’re splashing your drama-queen all over me. I don’t care and am certainly not “uptight” about what foods you eat. YOU came after ME, eyes-a-rolling, when I pointed out a minor flaw in elelle’s statement. If after 15 years your patience has worn that thin, you should probably stay out vegetarianism-related threads (or at least take a break from this one) because they get you all worked up. And in case you come back with more along these lines, I’d like to point out that at no time have I ever asked a vegetarian to justify his or her dietary choices. That _would_ be rude. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2006, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-ask-a-vegetarian-why-they-are-so/384361/99 "2006-12-21T19:21:21Z")
[QUOTE=Bryan Ekers] No, I’m asking that you be consistent. [/quote] I don’t think I’ve been inconsistent. > [@](#): > > Why is it okay to say a person who eats fish cannot claim to be a “pesco-vegetarian” (in the interest of accuracy) Wow, I’ve only said it about 50 times. Apparently making your point is more important than reading the thread. > [@](#): > > and not “a vegetarian diet cannot claim to be free of the taking of life” (in the interest of accuracy)? Because when pick a plant, it’s not referred to or discussed as “taking a life.” And harvesting vegetables often does not require killing the plant. Eating meat ALWAYS does. > [@](#): > > The labels are pretty arbitrary but the fact that plants are alive (well, until someone picks and eats them) surely is not. So when you pick an apple, you think something dies? Really? > [@](#): > > I do know what elelle _meant_, but that doesn’t insulate him/her from having an inaccuracy in what he/she _said_ pointed out. Does it make you feel good, that you pointed it out? > [@](#): > > And you’re splashing your drama-queen all over me. And again, because this isn’t the Pit, I won’t characterize what YOU are splashing all over. > [@](#): > > I don’t care and am certainly not “uptight” about what foods you eat. You’re nitpicking people and being disingenuous. Why do that if you don’t care? > [@](#): > > YOU came after ME, eyes-a-rolling, when I pointed out a minor flaw in elelle’s statement. Why did you feel the need to point it out? Was it not clear what she meant? Why did you need to call her to task on it? Are you a crusader for plants’ rights? > [@](#): > > If after 15 years your patience has worn that thin, you should probably stay out vegetarianism-related threads (or at least take a break from this one) because they get you all worked up. Please don’t characterize me as “worked up.” “Annoyed by you” would do fine. You are falling into the behaviors already described here as rude. I don’t understand why you’re doing it, except to make those little self-righteous points about how vegetarians who are so because they respect lifee are hypocrites, because plants are alive too, OMG!!!111!!1! It’s tired and old. > [@](#): > > And in case you come back with more along these lines, I’d like to point out that at no time have I ever asked a vegetarian to justify his or her dietary choices. That _would_ be rude. Passive-aggressively calling people’s beliefs hypocritical is also rude, you know. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2006, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-ask-a-vegetarian-why-they-are-so/384361/100 "2006-12-21T19:52:22Z")
[QUOTE=Rubystreak] Wow, I’ve only said it about 50 times. Apparently making your point is more important than reading the thread. [/quote] Hey, you chose to jump into a trivial quibble I had with elelle. The “you” in my statement is a generic one, referring to someone who feels as elelle does: > [@elelle](#): > > [Fish-eaters] don’t deserve the Veg distinction, because a Fish is still a life taken. If you _don’t_ agree with elelle, than what was the point of your involvement except to self-righteously overreact? > [@](#): > > Because when pick a plant, it’s not referred to or discussed as “taking a life.” Well, how convenient. > [@](#): > > And harvesting vegetables often does not require killing the plant. Eating meat ALWAYS does. > > So when you pick an apple, you think something dies? Really? It’s true one can pick apples and not kill the tree, but large-scale farming and harvesting typically involves combines and threshers and whatnot, chewing across the fields, leaving devastation in their wake. Farmers routinely buy seed because all the harvested plants are _dead_ and they have to start over. Apples would be analogous to eating eggs and milk, I gather. > [@](#): > > Does it make you feel good, that you pointed it out? Wait, are you asking me to justify why I like to correct inaccuracies? How rude! 😃 > [@](#): > > And again, because this isn’t the Pit, I won’t characterize what YOU are splashing all over. The fact you feel (or at least have expressed twice) that you have to hold yourself back is an even better sign that you should take a break from this thread. Or start a cathartic Pit thread, for that matter. No point giving yourself an ulcer. > [@](#): > > You’re nitpicking people and being disingenuous. Why do that if you don’t care? Plants being alive isn’t a nitpick - it’s a fact. I care about accuracy. > [@](#): > > Why did you feel the need to point it out? Was it not clear what she meant? Why did you need to call her to task on it? Are you a crusader for plants’ rights? How rude. 😃 > [@](#): > > I don’t understand why you’re doing it, except to make those little self-righteous points about how vegetarians who are so because they respect lifee are hypocrites, because plants are alive too, OMG!!!111!!1! It’s tired and old. I never accused anyone of hypocrisy (THAT’S tired and old). I implied elelle was guilty of inaccuracy and inconsistency. And I like eating plants, with Caesar dressing and bacon bits (though simulated soy bits will do). > [@](#): > > Passive-aggressively calling people’s beliefs hypocritical is also rude, you know. You’re projecting a motive onto me, I assume drawn from the conflicts you claim to have suffered for the last 15 years. Do you think I _want_ you to eat meat? Why would I care about that? I don’t even know you. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-ask-a-vegetarian-why-they-are-so/384361.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-ask-a-vegetarian-why-they-are-so/384361.md?page=6)