# Is it rude to ask a Viet Nam vet "How long were you there?" **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 5, 2011, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-ask-a-viet-nam-vet-how-long-were-you-there/580833 "2011-05-05T13:53:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 4\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Diver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@Diver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diver)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2011, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-ask-a-viet-nam-vet-how-long-were-you-there/580833/41 "2011-05-07T16:08:46Z")
I was there for a year and I wouldn’t mind answering the question. I don’t recall anyone ever asking me though. It’s pretty common to be asked when I was there. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2011, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-ask-a-viet-nam-vet-how-long-were-you-there/580833/42 "2011-05-07T19:52:26Z")
I am considered a Viet Nam vet, even though my “distant shore” was Amarillo TX. There are lots of Viet Nam _era_ vets out there that stayed behind in support roles. Some, mostly guys, felt left out (for want of a better phrase) or guilty because they spent their time in the US, Guam or Japan, never seeing battle. So, they say “I am a Viet Nam vet,” when they are really a Vet from that time period. ---
**Author:** ![SSgtBaloo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@SSgtBaloo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSgtBaloo)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2011, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-ask-a-viet-nam-vet-how-long-were-you-there/580833/43 "2011-05-07T21:08:41Z")
> [@picunurse](#): > > I am considered a Viet Nam vet, even though my “distant shore” was Amarillo TX. > > There are lots of Viet Nam _era_ vets out there that stayed behind in support roles. Some, mostly guys, felt left out (for want of a better phrase) or guilty because they spent their time in the US, Guam or Japan, never seeing battle. So, they say “I am a Viet Nam vet,” when they are really a Vet from that time period. I know what you mean. I was surprised to learn that _technically_ I’m a Gulf War Vet (according to the VA) but if asked I’m a Gulf War Era Vet (and if anyone can find an honest way for me to shorten that phrase, I’ll be obliged). The closest I ever was to the Gulf was during a deployment to Diego Garcia as part of a military exercise. I was there when Saddam Hussein invaded Kuwait. ---
**Author:** ![Philliam](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/philliam/32/3011_2.png) [@Philliam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philliam)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2011, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-ask-a-viet-nam-vet-how-long-were-you-there/580833/44 "2011-05-07T22:13:55Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Afghanistan is closely tied to the WTC destruction, so the military that were sent there were on a hero’s mission. There was relentless promoting of our folks in uniform which carried over to the Iraq War. One could condemn that war for any number of reasons, but the military by that point were above reproach. Vietnam was the first conflict that was extensively covered by embedded journalists, so the horror was on your TV set every night and in photos taken of people who were napalmed and maimed/killed. We’ve become inured to much of that over the years through repeated exposure, and probably even think that the means justifies the end. > > The military man in Vietnam may have been seen as the culprit by many, but I think the main reason Viet vets feel out in the cold is because the war was so hugely unpopular that nobody wanted to acknowledge the men when they came home. In WWI and WWII, the returning soldiers were met with brass bands and parades. With Vietnam, you got off the plane and went home and nobody really cared except your family. It was an embarrassment to Americans to admit that we got our asses handed to us, and the military men and women symbolized the failure. It’s tough to swallow when all you’ve done is what your country asked you to do. I think Chefguy has a great point here. Many Vietnam-era vets (myself included) felt we were thrust into a war with no purpose discernible by the average citizen and were later looked upon with distaste by some and guilt by others. I could not wait to be shut of the whole military experience, let alone ruminate on it. On a related note, I read an article about the declining membership of org’s like the American Legion and VFW. I can see why that might be, because those particular groups (at least in my home) actively refused to have anything to do with us - vets or not, we were all ‘damn hippie draft-dodgers’ to a lot of them. They had their comfy little club and were more than willing to keep us out. They succeeded, too - I have a lot of vet friends and don’t know of any who have joined in all the intervening years. The above comment is not meant to demean WW II/Korean War vets - I guess the Vietnam vets were just a different animal and hard to recognize as comrades , especially considering the vociferous ‘anti-war’ stance many of us had. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-ask-a-viet-nam-vet-how-long-were-you-there/580833.md?page=2)