# Is it rude to call an old woman "Young lady" **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 3, 2009, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-call-an-old-woman-young-lady/508791 "2009-09-03T20:14:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Brainiac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8797f3/32.png) [@Brainiac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brainiac)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2009, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-call-an-old-woman-young-lady/508791/1 "2009-09-03T20:14:55Z")
I know a clerk that does this all the time. She thinks it’s clever. Is it? ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2009, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-call-an-old-woman-young-lady/508791/2 "2009-09-03T20:16:16Z")
I’m only 38, but when I get old, I’ll bash anybody who calls me “young lady” over the head with my walker. It’s condescending as hell. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2009, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-call-an-old-woman-young-lady/508791/3 "2009-09-03T20:23:48Z")
Maybe not rude, but patronizing. And corny as hell. Like if you were saying, “Oh, so you’re eighty years YOUNG?!” and expecting the other person to laugh uproariously. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2009, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-call-an-old-woman-young-lady/508791/4 "2009-09-03T20:34:20Z")
> [@Brainiac](#): > > I know a clerk that does this all the time. She thinks it’s clever. Is it? No. Annoying! I’m sure the clerk should be referred to as peon or worker drone by the young ladies. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2009, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-call-an-old-woman-young-lady/508791/5 "2009-09-03T20:38:21Z")
It’s patronizing, but it beats “old, dried-up crone.” ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2009, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-call-an-old-woman-young-lady/508791/6 "2009-09-03T20:39:12Z")
I don’t think it’s anything to get bent out of shape about, but it’s definitely annoying. It’s right up there with guys (like my father) who ask older waitstaff, “Where’ve you been all my life? Will you run away with me?” Well, actually it’s not quite that annoying, but it’s close. ---
**Author:** ![Brainiac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8797f3/32.png) [@Brainiac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brainiac)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2009, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-call-an-old-woman-young-lady/508791/7 "2009-09-03T20:45:42Z")
> [@overlyverbose](#): > > I don’t think it’s anything to get bent out of shape about, but it’s definitely annoying. It’s right up there with guys (like my father) who ask older waitstaff, “Where’ve you been all my life? Will you run away with me?” Well, actually it’s not quite that annoying, but it’s close. My grandfather would use that same line on my young classmates tending the refreshment booth at high school football games. They always just stared like he was from Mars. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2009, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-call-an-old-woman-young-lady/508791/8 "2009-09-03T20:48:17Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > It’s patronizing, but it beats “old, dried-up crone.” You mispelled “Ma’am”. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2009, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-call-an-old-woman-young-lady/508791/9 "2009-09-03T20:49:02Z")
It’s not rude or anything. Just a clerk trying to be friendly. ---
**Author:** ![PatriotGrrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9dc877/32.png) [@PatriotGrrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatriotGrrrl)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2009, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-call-an-old-woman-young-lady/508791/10 "2009-09-03T21:13:49Z")
I think it’s very rude. It’s saying “You’re not a person. You’re just a girl.” ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2009, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-call-an-old-woman-young-lady/508791/11 "2009-09-03T21:24:51Z")
I’m 64, and one of the instructors at the college where I work calls me “Young lady”, as in “How are you today, young lady?”. He might think it’s a compliment but it’s not – I look my age and more. Maybe he thinks I need cheering up or something. I don’t see it as rude, just socially clueless. He’s Indian, if that makes a difference. It’s like that TV morning show guy who says “Happy birthday to Bertha in Wisconsin! 100 years young today!” Bertha’s probably very proud of those 100 years, and calling her “young” is IMHO patronizing. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2009, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-call-an-old-woman-young-lady/508791/12 "2009-09-03T21:35:44Z")
Who ever started calling people 100 years young should have been throttled the day they started that. Nothing draws attention to a person as being old more than saying 100 years young. ---
**Author:** ![11811](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/9d8465/32.png) [@11811](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/11811)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2009, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-call-an-old-woman-young-lady/508791/13 "2009-09-03T21:51:52Z")
Gee, if it’s possible to be patronizing without being rude, then maybe it’s not rude. Nah, it’s rude. ---
**Author:** ![JuliaSqueezer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/82dd89/32.png) [@JuliaSqueezer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JuliaSqueezer)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2009, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-call-an-old-woman-young-lady/508791/14 "2009-09-03T21:56:08Z")
I’m the same age as Auntie Pam and I find such greetings to be cringe-inducing and awkward. I’d practice making a withering, sneering half-smile in the mirror, but most people who’d talk to me that way are probably just too socially clueless to recognize the meaning of that kind of facial expression. They’d probably think I’d had a stroke. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2009, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-call-an-old-woman-young-lady/508791/15 "2009-09-03T22:01:58Z")
> [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](#): > > You mispelled “Ma’am”. Yes, Ma’am. My apologies. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2009, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-call-an-old-woman-young-lady/508791/16 "2009-09-03T22:17:43Z")
I think it’s smarmy and patronizing as hell. At a nearby new restaurant, the young maitre d’ always greets 53-year-old me with some sort of smarmy flirty compliment on my looks, as he does every female that comes in the door. I know that some marketing Einstein decided that this might sell more food or something, but it just pisses me off. I know that I’m 53 and look it! The fume that it puts me into usually lessens my appreciation of lunch, and come to think of it, I haven’t gone back there in awhile. Don’t think I will. ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2009, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-call-an-old-woman-young-lady/508791/17 "2009-09-03T22:24:41Z")
I find it irritatingly patronizing to call anybody who is out of the single digits age-wise “young lady.” ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2009, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-call-an-old-woman-young-lady/508791/18 "2009-09-03T22:56:24Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > Yes, Ma’am. My apologies. > 😃 Don’t you be getting smart with me, whippersnapper! 😃 Seriously, as the oldest and wisest of the followers of Dionysus, wouldn’t it bother you if people a generation younger than you called you “boy” or “dude”? Obviously, being older than the Devil, I might be able to call you “boy” and pinch your cheek with immunity, but that’s different. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2009, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-call-an-old-woman-young-lady/508791/19 "2009-09-03T22:58:30Z")
“Boy” - yes “Dude” - no I’m from California. We call **everybody** “Dude.” And it really pisses my principal off. She says it’s disrespectful, or something… ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2009, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-call-an-old-woman-young-lady/508791/20 "2009-09-04T01:56:15Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > I’m only 38, but when I get old, I’ll bash anybody who calls me “young lady” over the head with my walker. > > It’s condescending as hell. I’m almost 52, and I use a stick or cane to get around. So far, I haven’t hit anyone with it yet (my husband doesn’t count), though the next person who calls me “young lady” might get to be the first. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-call-an-old-woman-young-lady/508791.md?page=2)