# Is it rude to keep my seat in a bar when women are standing?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-keep-my-seat-in-a-bar-when-women-are-standing/575100>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [March 18, 2011, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-keep-my-seat-in-a-bar-when-women-are-standing/575100 "2011-03-18T01:37:03Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 12\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\
**Post date:** [March 20, 2011, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-keep-my-seat-in-a-bar-when-women-are-standing/575100/41 "2011-03-20T08:11:51Z")

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I offer my seat to the elderly or infirm; I do not believe being a woman is in and of itself a disability.

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**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\
**Post date:** [March 20, 2011, 9:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-keep-my-seat-in-a-bar-when-women-are-standing/575100/42 "2011-03-20T09:15:33Z")

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A gentleman offers his seat. A lady doesn’t accept unless she really needs it.\*

\*Or thinks he’s cute

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**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\
**Post date:** [March 20, 2011, 10:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-keep-my-seat-in-a-bar-when-women-are-standing/575100/43 "2011-03-20T10:20:51Z")

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Never. Women usually go to bars in pairs or groups, one seat is not enough for them. Standing, they can remain as part of their group. If one of them sits, it creates a new awkward situation.

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**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\
**Post date:** [March 20, 2011, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-keep-my-seat-in-a-bar-when-women-are-standing/575100/44 "2011-03-20T22:19:34Z")

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> [@Anaamika](#):
>
> Good heavens, Cat Fight, you are a rabid Fayminayst? Why didn’t you tell me? I joined the club last week!

I don’t care what people say. I worship at the altar of Fay Wray.

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**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\
**Post date:** [March 20, 2011, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-keep-my-seat-in-a-bar-when-women-are-standing/575100/45 "2011-03-20T22:33:09Z")

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> [@Cat\_Fight](#):
>
> I don’t care what people say. I worship at the altar of Fay Wray.

I would like to state for the record that King Kong may keep his seat when I’m standing. Or running away. Whichever.

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**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\
**Post date:** [March 20, 2011, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-keep-my-seat-in-a-bar-when-women-are-standing/575100/46 "2011-03-20T23:08:36Z")

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If I’m with a lady at the bar (be it wife, daughter, friend, or other family member), I will offer her the seat. If I see someone of either gender who has some physical impairment–or is simply old and frail–I will generally offer the seat. Otherwise, I’ll stay there.

I am _very_ rarely in a bar alone. Generally, I’m there with friends. If we’re all together at the bar, I’m not breaking up the group to give my seat to an “outsider.”

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**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\
**Post date:** [March 21, 2011, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-keep-my-seat-in-a-bar-when-women-are-standing/575100/47 "2011-03-21T00:06:13Z")

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> [@madmonk28](#):
>
> I offer my seat to the elderly or infirm; I do not believe being a woman is in and of itself a disability.

OTOH, women are the only ones who voluntarily wear high heels… 😃

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**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\
**Post date:** [March 21, 2011, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-keep-my-seat-in-a-bar-when-women-are-standing/575100/48 "2011-03-21T18:18:09Z")

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> [@Taomist](#):
>
> Any woman ‘old-fashioned’ enough to expect a man to give up his seat for her wouldn’t be in a bar alone anyway. Stay put.
> 
> Unless you want to score points. 😉
> 
> \<—female…old enough to not be TOO surprised if a man offers his seat, but young enough to not accept it unless I’m stupid enough to wear high heels in a crowded bar.

I agree with this; and to add on to it… if you’re there with a date, and you snag the last seat and don’t offer it to your date, THEN you’re being rude. Otherwise no.

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**Author:** ![Jaledin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Jaledin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaledin)\
**Post date:** [March 22, 2011, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-keep-my-seat-in-a-bar-when-women-are-standing/575100/49 "2011-03-22T05:37:14Z")

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I give a barstool to an acquaintance or a friend, male or female, all the time. Especially if, when I smoked, I’d be going outside, I’d say to a male acquaintance, “keep my seat warm, would you!” just as likely to a woman whom I knew.

It sounds bizarre to cede your seat to a “lady” – well. Have I missed the reason some barfly dude would stand up and say, “Milady, something something dorky”? It’s just not done, IME.

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**Author:** ![TheWhoToTheWhatNow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a88e4f/32.png) [@TheWhoToTheWhatNow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheWhoToTheWhatNow)\
**Post date:** [March 22, 2011, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-keep-my-seat-in-a-bar-when-women-are-standing/575100/50 "2011-03-22T06:06:10Z")

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She can sit on your lap while you sit on the stool. Win/win for all involved!

- TWTTWN

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**Author:** ![Ostrya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/35a633/32.png) [@Ostrya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ostrya)\
**Post date:** [March 22, 2011, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-keep-my-seat-in-a-bar-when-women-are-standing/575100/51 "2011-03-22T08:48:41Z")

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Kindly offering a seat could result in sex later? Is it really that easy? (Somehow I don’t think it would be wise to boink someone who wanted me simply because they didn’t have to remain standing.)

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**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\
**Post date:** [March 22, 2011, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-keep-my-seat-in-a-bar-when-women-are-standing/575100/52 "2011-03-22T10:47:34Z")

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> [@Leaper](#):
>
> OTOH, women are the only ones who voluntarily wear high heels… 😃

That’s simply not true, you just haven’t been to the right bars.

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