# Is it rude to make toilet noises at work when you're not alone in the loo? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 21, 2007, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-make-toilet-noises-at-work-when-youre-not-alone-in-the-loo/430846 "2007-12-21T18:13:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Sublata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7cd45c/32.png) [@Sublata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublata)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2007, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-make-toilet-noises-at-work-when-youre-not-alone-in-the-loo/430846/61 "2007-12-23T16:55:41Z")
I believe Miss Manners has addressed the issue of [unacceptable noises](http://books.google.com/books?id=FOodocaTLsMC&pg=PA294&lpg=PA294&dq=%22miss+manners%22+sounds+do+not+exist+socially&source=web&ots=QeC4Q8VoW2&sig=zEcyUqkVGRfRnAxc8UcQOOENGNU#PPA294,M1): socially they do not exist. So if I interpet her correctly, the other guy was not rude for making the noises; **Wee Bairn** was rude for hearing them. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2007, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-make-toilet-noises-at-work-when-youre-not-alone-in-the-loo/430846/62 "2007-12-23T18:00:45Z")
Although Miss Manners makes it seem that passing gas occurs outside of and is therefore invisible to old-fashioned etiquette, there were oblique observances. Given the huge, multi-course dinners of the Edwardian era, and the understandable accumulation of post-prandial gas, no wonder there was the accepted practice where the gentlemen would retreat to the study for brandy & cigars and the women to the salon for sherry. The unspoken reason was to, in the words of Mark Twain “by consent of the whole company, when only males are present, it is still permissible, in good society, to remove the embargo on the fundamental sigh” Of course, for the middle and working classes this convention didn’t exist; therefore the Thanksgiving and Christmas day televised footbal game was invented. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2007, 9:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-make-toilet-noises-at-work-when-youre-not-alone-in-the-loo/430846/63 "2007-12-24T09:21:42Z")
[QUOTE=Emmy2635] Doesn’t anyone here feel embarassed to make small talk with coworkers at the sink after making all of these noises? I mean, I know it’s human nature and that’s what you’re there for, but…am I the only one??? [/QUOTE] I agree with that one - talking through the cubicle wall is just not right. Especially if the conversation is initiated by the person outside the cubicle (has only ever happened to me a couple of times, but I made sure to inject a fake strained tone in the middle of sentences). ---
**Author:** ![Chanteuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de053/32.png) [@Chanteuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chanteuse)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2007, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-make-toilet-noises-at-work-when-youre-not-alone-in-the-loo/430846/64 "2007-12-24T11:28:46Z")
[QUOTE=Jackmannii] “An excellent choice, sir. And for you, madam? I highly recommend the mixed fiber platter.” [/QUOTE] “Our Poo-Poo Platter comes with a variety of cranberry juice, prunes, and psyllium husks, arranged in an beautiful, artistic presentation that never fails to move our guests.” ---
**Author:** ![essell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/34f0e0/32.png) [@essell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/essell)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2007, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-make-toilet-noises-at-work-when-youre-not-alone-in-the-loo/430846/65 "2007-12-24T11:48:42Z")
Reminds me of an old trick. Smear peanut butter on a patch of tissue, slide it under the cubicle wall as if you dropped it then shout “Slide that back this way, would you pal?” I’m trying to picture **Wee Bain** ’s face if someone tried that. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2007, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-make-toilet-noises-at-work-when-youre-not-alone-in-the-loo/430846/66 "2007-12-24T12:45:48Z")
If I gotta take a loud shit and someone doesn’t like it, that’s their problem. I’m there to unload my ass, not cater to delicate sensibilities. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2007, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-make-toilet-noises-at-work-when-youre-not-alone-in-the-loo/430846/67 "2007-12-24T15:05:55Z")
My wife was commenting the other day on a public john where women always seem to be especially slow. She observed that that john always seems to be absolutely quiet, which she suspects might make a number of the users self conscious about any noises they might make. She thinks a noisier john might speed up things. Maybe that will be my path to my next million. Piped in sound effects wor women’s shitters. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2007, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-make-toilet-noises-at-work-when-youre-not-alone-in-the-loo/430846/68 "2007-12-24T16:31:37Z")
[QUOTE=Dinsdale] Maybe that will be my path to my next million. Piped in sound effects wor women’s shitters. [/QUOTE] I want in on that! How about New-Agey “Whale Songs?” It still qualifies as music so as to provide plausible deniability, but sounds like high-pitched flatus. This would drown out the human accompaniment, and also evoke bowel-loosening laughter. ---
**Author:** ![Wee\_Bairn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/90db22/32.png) [@Wee\_Bairn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wee_Bairn)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2007, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-make-toilet-noises-at-work-when-youre-not-alone-in-the-loo/430846/69 "2007-12-24T16:49:57Z")
[QUOTE=Tapioca Dextrin] One of these sentences does not belong with the other. [/QUOTE] I meant, even though I love the smell of my own brand, I can’t stand the smell of others, and will gladly wait five minutes and come back vs. holding my breath and trying not to breathe in- I’m no weirdo 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2007, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-make-toilet-noises-at-work-when-youre-not-alone-in-the-loo/430846/70 "2007-12-24T18:31:14Z")
[QUOTE=Wee Bairn] While I’m zipping up after flushing I hear a stream of loud disorienting farts and splashes- couldn’t this person have waited ten seconds until I had made it to the door? They had to have heard me flush, and know I should be in a matter of moments. I mean I don’t understand those who choose to make their daily BM at work, as some people at my job clearly do- I feel number two at work should be for emergencies only, but that’s another topic. On the rare occasion I have to go and someone walks in and they’re at the urinal and will probably be in there a minute tops, I have the common courtesy to hold off on the more voluminous plops and farts until they leave, and always thought this was the courteous thing to do- am I correct on this? [/QUOTE] Ah, to be young, regular, and continent! I’m happy for you that you have such control over your bodily functions but many people do not. Nervous colons, constipation, dietary intolerances, and just advancing age can makes timing of defecation more problematic. In other words, some of these people aren’t _choosing_ to crap, fart, or otherwise produce waste products, they might be desperately hurrying to reach the toilet before doing the unspeakable in their undershorts. Where else would they make “toilet noises” but in the toilet? Next to your desk? In the breakroom? Fact is, the lavatory is for depositing bodily wastes and I’m a big puzzled why you seem offended when it is put to intended use. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2007, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-make-toilet-noises-at-work-when-youre-not-alone-in-the-loo/430846/71 "2007-12-24T18:37:31Z")
[QUOTE=Wee Bairn] I’m a big feces fan, its just this particular event I took as a personal attack. And yes, under normal circumstances if I go in for a piss and see feet under a stall, I immediately make a beeline for another floor, but today I had to go really bad and wasn’t in the mood for stairs. [/QUOTE] So maybe the other party had to go really bad and wasn’t in the mood for waiting on your uptight self? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2007, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-make-toilet-noises-at-work-when-youre-not-alone-in-the-loo/430846/72 "2007-12-25T03:17:01Z")
Question-what happens if you go to an empty bathroom, and then someone enters and does his business? Or what if YOU happen to get sick to YOUR stomach, and the above situation happens? ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2007, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-make-toilet-noises-at-work-when-youre-not-alone-in-the-loo/430846/73 "2007-12-25T04:40:10Z")
[QUOTE=Slithy Tove] How about New-Agey “Whale Songs?” It still qualifies as music so as to provide plausible deniability, but sounds like high-pitched flatus. This would drown out the human accompaniment, and also evoke bowel-loosening laughter. [/QUOTE] For a soulful bowel strut, you can’t beat Screamin’ Jay Hawkins’ _Constipation Blues_: _UMM-UMMMH, aeoh UMM-UOOMH OOH! OH! UH UH Aaah UOH, aah Let it go! Let it go! Let it go! Let it go! I don’t believe I can take much more Let it go Aah Got a pain down inside Won’t be denied Yeah, every time I try I can’t be satisfied Let it go!_ There’s a happy ending though. > [@WeeBairn](#): > > under normal circumstances if I go in for a piss and see feet under a stall, I immediately make a beeline for another floor. That’s Senator Craig’s story and he’s sticking to it. ---
**Author:** ![ButtNut69xxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@ButtNut69xxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ButtNut69xxx)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2018, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-make-toilet-noises-at-work-when-youre-not-alone-in-the-loo/430846/74 "2018-01-14T02:48:43Z")
No. I do not think that this is rude. > [@Wee\_Bairn](#): > > I don’t mean if you work in a huge building with constant bathroom traffic- then you’d never finish- I mean in a small office bathroom. For example, I just went in for a quick pee, and there was someone in the stall. When I came in, no noises, so I do what I always do in that situation if I have to go real bad and don’t want to wait and come back- hold my breath and hurry through as quickly as possible. > > While I’m zipping up after flushing I hear a stream of loud disorienting farts and splashes- couldn’t this person have waited ten seconds until I had made it to the door? They had to have heard me flush, and know I should be in a matter of moments. I mean I don’t understand those who choose to make their daily BM at work, as some people at my job clearly do- I feel number two at work should be for emergencies only, but that’s another topic. On the rare occasion I have to go and someone walks in and they’re at the urinal and will probably be in there a minute tops, I have the common courtesy to hold off on the more voluminous plops and farts until they leave, and always thought this was the courteous thing to do- am I correct on this? ---
**Author:** ![OldGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/3bc359/32.png) [@OldGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OldGuy)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2018, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-make-toilet-noises-at-work-when-youre-not-alone-in-the-loo/430846/75 "2018-01-14T03:22:21Z")
> [@Wee\_Bairn](#): > > While I’m zipping up after flushing I hear a stream of loud disorienting farts and splashes- couldn’t this person have waited ten seconds until I had made it to the door? They had to have heard me flush… It seems to me the real issue is if you are still zipping up and intend to be out the door in ten seconds, then you are not washing your hands properly. And you then shake people’s hands or touch other public things with them. You should be ashamed. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2018, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-make-toilet-noises-at-work-when-youre-not-alone-in-the-loo/430846/76 "2018-01-14T03:32:42Z")
> [@OldGuy](#): > > It seems to me the real issue is if you are still zipping up and intend to be out the door in ten seconds, then you are not washing your hands properly. And you then shake people’s hands or touch other public things with them. You should be ashamed. I doubt if zombies worry about the personal hygiene of the person whose hand they’re shaking. Or whose brain they’re eating ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2018, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-make-toilet-noises-at-work-when-youre-not-alone-in-the-loo/430846/77 "2018-01-14T04:22:05Z")
> [@ButtNut69xxx](#): > > No. I do not think that this is rude. You may want to talk to the Mods about a name change-I think we already have a **ButtNut68xxx** , and there might be some confusion. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2018, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-make-toilet-noises-at-work-when-youre-not-alone-in-the-loo/430846/78 "2018-01-14T05:03:57Z")
> [@phungi](#): > > Heck, at 12:50 PM in any multi-floored office building with a multi-stalled/shared bathroom, you are likely to encounter the “Hall of Trumpeting Assholes”. The above remark, posted 10+ years ago, seems oddly prescient. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2018, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-make-toilet-noises-at-work-when-youre-not-alone-in-the-loo/430846/79 "2018-01-14T05:38:57Z")
It’s been over ten years and not one _Monty Python and the Holy Grail_ reference? **I fart in your general direction!** [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-make-toilet-noises-at-work-when-youre-not-alone-in-the-loo/430846.md?page=3)