# Is it rude to NOT do the polite laugh? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 16, 2015, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-not-do-the-polite-laugh/709984 "2015-01-16T15:41:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2015, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-not-do-the-polite-laugh/709984/1 "2015-01-16T15:41:09Z")
You know, when somebody makes a lame joke and then people respond with a fake polite laugh to acknowledge the person making the joke? Yeah, I don’t do that. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2015, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-not-do-the-polite-laugh/709984/2 "2015-01-16T15:49:17Z")
Yeah, not doing a sensible chuckle is a bit of a snub. But it depends on who is telling the lame joke. If it’s your daughter’s boyfriend, feel free to revel in your stony silence. If it’s your boss or mother-in-law, a little chuckle might be in order to keep things smooth. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2015, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-not-do-the-polite-laugh/709984/3 "2015-01-16T15:55:06Z")
I’m going to say yes. Politeness and rudeness are tied up with ‘the way we expect people to behave here’. If you aren’t following the social norm, then people will wonder why, and will ascribe their own interpretation to your behaviour (or lack of behaviour). ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2015, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-not-do-the-polite-laugh/709984/4 "2015-01-16T15:57:50Z")
Rude it is but I’m guilty of it too. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2015, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-not-do-the-polite-laugh/709984/5 "2015-01-16T16:21:09Z")
No acknowledgment whatsoever is a bit rude. Sometimes that’s okay–like if a person is telling an offensive joke, or is joking at an inappropriate time. But a total non-reaction carries a subtext like, “I heard you tell a joke, and I think you’re wrong to tell that joke.” If you’re okay sending that message, knock yourself out with your stony face. ---
**Author:** ![Orwell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/dfb087/32.png) [@Orwell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orwell)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2015, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-not-do-the-polite-laugh/709984/6 "2015-01-16T16:29:15Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > No acknowledgment whatsoever is a bit rude. Sometimes that’s okay–like if a person is telling an offensive joke, or is joking at an inappropriate time. But a total non-reaction carries a subtext like, “I heard you tell a joke, and I think you’re wrong to tell that joke.” If you’re okay sending that message, knock yourself out with your stony face. Yeah, it’s rude to not react, even if you think it’s not a funny joke. If not a chuckle, at least respond with a groan or smile that acknowledges someone was making an effort. ---
**Author:** ![Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a183cd/32.png) [@Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barkis_is_Willin)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2015, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-not-do-the-polite-laugh/709984/7 "2015-01-16T16:43:23Z")
I participated in a conversation last week where I wondered the same thing. Within about 30 minutes, one person ripped off a continuous string of horrible attempts to be funny that it actually became very difficult to keep up the fake chuckle. I think it weakened to a faint smile by the end, but yeah I made some kind of effort because not to do so would be, if not rude, at least socially awkward. I should note the person was an executive at my company, otherwise my reaction may have been a different story. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2015, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-not-do-the-polite-laugh/709984/8 "2015-01-16T16:45:46Z")
Sometimes I can’t fake laugh without it being obvious that it’s a fake laugh. So in that case, I’ll put on the biggest smile I can muster. Sometimes I’ll put my hand over my mouth and lower my head to make it seem like I’m doing the “silent laugh” thing. It’s a challenge. I like to laugh, but most people’s attempts at humor don’t do it for me. Some people try too hard (which detracts from the humor) or I just don’t get what’s so funny. A few times I’ve been called out for my stony silences–“I know I’m not that funny, **monstro** , but you could laugh anyway!” So I’ve tried to “do better” in this department so that people will enjoy talking to me. But I agree, sometimes it’s annoying to have to be “fake”. I don’t think “rude” is quite the right word, though. Employing a polite laugh is just good social practice, just like being able to tell a good joke. If you care about making friends and influencing people, you’ll throw out a polite laugh now and then, and you’ll try to be funny too. But if you don’t care about being “sociable”, why care? Chances are, people won’t remember you as the “rude guy who doesn’t laugh”. It will be more like “he can be hard to socialize with for some reason. I just can’t describe why though.” ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2015, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-not-do-the-polite-laugh/709984/9 "2015-01-16T17:57:55Z")
Doing so is a social lubricant. Gritty or smooth, your choice, always. Enjoy the ride! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2015, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-not-do-the-polite-laugh/709984/10 "2015-01-16T18:24:17Z")
I prefer that you not laugh at my lame jokes. Silence, or groaning it just fine. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2015, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-not-do-the-polite-laugh/709984/11 "2015-01-16T18:50:00Z")
A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar. The Rabbi ordered iced tea. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2015, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-not-do-the-polite-laugh/709984/12 "2015-01-16T18:51:09Z")
I’m trying to learn that startling fake-laugh thing that Sheldon does on Big Bang Theory. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Kane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de053/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Kane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Kane)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2015, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-not-do-the-polite-laugh/709984/13 "2015-01-16T19:08:42Z")
I don’t think so. I don’t mind when people don’t laugh at my lame jokes and then I get to say something like “Wow. That bombed!” and get a laugh that way. It’s good to be able to feel somebody out and establish what their sense of humour is. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2015, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-not-do-the-polite-laugh/709984/14 "2015-01-16T19:37:02Z")
So, **Shakes** …did you really not know that not faking a polite laugh was usually considered rude, or is this thread a back-handed way of complaining about that social custom? ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2015, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-not-do-the-polite-laugh/709984/15 "2015-01-16T19:45:31Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > So, **Shakes** …did you really not know that not faking a polite laugh was usually considered rude, or is this thread a back-handed way of complaining about that social custom? Eh, I was just trying to gauge where it lands on the Rude-O-Meter… To be honest, I don’t do the stony silence thing 100% of the time. I do do it quite often though. It’s usually when I’m tired or my mind wonders and I’m not really into the conversation with said lame joke teller. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2015, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-not-do-the-polite-laugh/709984/16 "2015-01-16T22:41:16Z")
My son got this before he could talk. I’d do something silly and he’d laugh. I’d do it again later and he’d do a polite laugh, to let me know he recognized I was being silly. It’s unnatural to squelch the polite laugh. ---
**Author:** ![River\_Hippie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/river_hippie/32/26_2.png) [@River\_Hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/River_Hippie)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2015, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-not-do-the-polite-laugh/709984/17 "2015-01-16T23:15:05Z")
If somebody tells me a lame joke, especially an anti-Obama joke, I look at them stone faced and reply " So…that’s a joke then?..Oh." I don’t often hear a second one. ---
**Author:** ![Orwell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/dfb087/32.png) [@Orwell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orwell)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2015, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-not-do-the-polite-laugh/709984/18 "2015-01-16T23:28:23Z")
> [@River\_Hippie](#): > > If somebody tells me a lame joke, especially an anti-Obama joke, I look at them stone faced and reply " So…that’s a joke then?..Oh." > I don’t often hear a second one. Cool story, bro. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2015, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-not-do-the-polite-laugh/709984/19 "2015-01-17T01:29:35Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar. The Rabbi ordered iced tea. And the gorilla tending bar said “What is this – some kind of joke?” ---
**Author:** ![River\_Hippie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/river_hippie/32/26_2.png) [@River\_Hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/River_Hippie)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2015, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-not-do-the-polite-laugh/709984/20 "2015-01-17T02:42:44Z")
> [@Orwell](#): > > Cool story, bro. So…that’s a joke? Oh…OK. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-not-do-the-polite-laugh/709984.md?page=2)