# Is it rude to scoop someone else's litterboxes? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 27, 2013, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-scoop-someone-elses-litterboxes/648503 "2013-01-27T01:43:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2013, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-scoop-someone-elses-litterboxes/648503/21 "2013-01-27T17:25:36Z")
I’d only consider it rude if someone walked into my house, said “OMG, your house stinks - don’t you ever clean your litter box???” the proceeded to do just that. No, my house does not stink, and yes, I do my best to keep the litter box clean, plus it’s in the basement stairwell, so unless you’re actually on the stairs, you probably wouldn’t even know we have cats. Well, except for the cats in the living room. 😃 But, no I wouldn’t consider it to be rude, just odd, considering where our litter box sits. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2013, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-scoop-someone-elses-litterboxes/648503/22 "2013-01-27T17:42:44Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > No, my house does not stink, and yes, I do my best to keep the litter box clean, plus it’s in the basement stairwell, so unless you’re actually on the stairs, you probably wouldn’t even know we have cats. Well, except for the cats in the living room. 😃 That’s a dead giveaway! ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2013, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-scoop-someone-elses-litterboxes/648503/23 "2013-01-27T17:54:02Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > I don’t think that my friend even noticed, it was someone that I had never met that told me that I was rude. Scooping someone else’s litter box may or may not be rude, depending on the relationship, the condition of the litter box, the timing of the poo, etc. I don’t think what you did, in a friend’s house, with a relatively clean box (you don’t mention that it was atrocious or took you long to clean, so it sounds like a clean box with a fresh deuce) and the cat doing her deposit right there in front of you…yeah, that doesn’t sound rude. On the other hand, commenting on the rudeness of stranger’s actions in a social setting…I have trouble coming up with ANY scenario in which \*that \*is not rude! :eek: So consider the utility of letting a rude person’s advice on manners get under your skin. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_T](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Gary\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_T)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2013, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-scoop-someone-elses-litterboxes/648503/24 "2013-01-27T19:18:38Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > …someone else [that I had never met] told me that I had been very rude and thoughtless by doing that. She said that me scooping the box was making a judgement on how clean my friend keeps her home. Makes me wonder if this “someone else” has been subject to such judgment. > [@WhyNot](#): > > Scooping someone else’s litter box…doesn’t sound rude. > > On the other hand, commenting on the rudeness of stranger’s actions in a social setting…I have trouble coming up with ANY scenario in which that is not rude! Agreed. Maybe “someone else” needs to learn both effective housekeeping and good manners. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Fluffy\_PickleSniffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/77aa72/32.png) [@Fluffy\_PickleSniffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fluffy_PickleSniffer)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2013, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-scoop-someone-elses-litterboxes/648503/25 "2013-01-27T19:26:09Z")
I think you did a good thing, though I did have to think a minute when you came back and said you had just peed so you scooped the box. 😛 You’re welcome to scoop the FIVE litterboxes at my house anytime. 🙂 [I wonder if kitty was confused at all though](http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Someone+stole+my+poop_73330a_3121921.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2013, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-scoop-someone-elses-litterboxes/648503/26 "2013-01-27T21:45:21Z")
> [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](#): > > Why did you bother with the plastic bag when you could have just dropped it in the toilet? Kitty litter isn’t good for septic systems. **Fluffy PickleSniffer** that was cute, thank you. Thank you all for your replies. I wish I could tell you that I had a fast witty reply for the person, but I’m such a smart cookie that all I could do was give her a deer in the headlights look and mumble OK. I’m not going to bring it up to my friend, she has other more important things to worry about right now. I’m pretty sure that if anyone mentioned to her that I had scooped 1 deposit out of an otherwise pristine litter box, she would just shrug and wonder why anyone expected anything less from me. So, going by the replies I’ve gotten I will restrain myself if I’m at a home where I don’t know the people well. If I’m at a friend’s house, they already know how involved I am in rescue…and there are a couple of them who would scoop my boxes if I had one in the bathrooms as well. While I did use the toilet, I have a friend who’s toddler liked to pee in the litter box, so she made him scoop it (big punishment for a little boy who already liked to dig in the litter), and then wash his hands. So there 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimmy_Gibbler)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2013, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-scoop-someone-elses-litterboxes/648503/27 "2013-01-27T22:20:23Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > I’m on my phone and can’t figure out how to set up a poll, so I’m going to just ask for opinions. > > Today, I was at my best friend’s house and while I was using the restroom, I noticed that their kitteh had recently used the litterbox. I do cat rescue, cleaning litterboxes is habit for me, so I scooped the poop into a plastic bag, washed my hands and took the bag out to the trash can. > > When I came back in, someone else told me that I had been very rude and thoughtless by doing that. She said that me scooping the box was making a judgement on how clean my friend keeps her home. Of course, I didn’t think that at all, I thought I was just helping out. > > I’m all confused and not in the very best of moods, so I thought I’d put the question to you folks. Yes. Do not go through your host’s (literal) shit. It’s a basic rule. ---
**Author:** ![Arrendajo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Arrendajo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arrendajo)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2013, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-scoop-someone-elses-litterboxes/648503/28 "2013-01-28T00:02:17Z")
> [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](#): > > Why did you bother with the plastic bag when you could have just dropped it in the toilet? Clumping kitty litter will clog up a toilet fast. I do sometimes throw Spooky’s turds in the toilet and flush them, if there’s no litter attached. IMHO not rude, but a tad bit odd. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2013, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-scoop-someone-elses-litterboxes/648503/29 "2013-01-28T00:18:20Z")
It was their Almond Roca and you weren’t offered any. Seriously, it was the cat’s litter box, and the cat didn’t complain. The “person” was just worried that you were usurping her position as house human. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2013, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-scoop-someone-elses-litterboxes/648503/30 "2013-01-29T19:22:54Z")
Not rude. Really weird, though. ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2013, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-scoop-someone-elses-litterboxes/648503/31 "2013-01-29T19:28:22Z")
> [@Thylacine](#): > > If I knew I might find it a bit odd but not rude, however if I don’t know about it I will be looking for vomit under the bed because that is usually what is found when no deposits are made in the box. That’s a key thing, IMO; if the cat is prone to be ill, and the owner watches out for this kind of thing, it could send the wrong message. Overall though, I agree it isn’t _rude_, per se, but does make you look a little… OCD-ish? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2013, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-scoop-someone-elses-litterboxes/648503/32 "2013-01-29T19:44:45Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > Kitty litter isn’t good for septic systems. Says you.If the cat owner flushes cat feces, they might be puzzled by the odor in their garbage can. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2013, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-scoop-someone-elses-litterboxes/648503/33 "2013-01-30T04:17:20Z")
Well today’s paper has caused me to reconsider my answer: [Man stabs neighbours who tidied up his home when they fed his cat for him](http://www.news.com.au/world/man-stabs-neighbours-who-tidied-up-his-home-when-they-fed-his-cat-for-him/story-fndir2ev-1226564938881). > [@](#): > > Nigel Gibbs, 66, and wife Marjorie, 67, helpfully cleared mouldy food from the fridge, \*\*emptied the cat litter \*\*and even did some vacuuming as well. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2013, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-scoop-someone-elses-litterboxes/648503/34 "2013-01-30T15:00:55Z")
These are the situations that Miss Manners works wonders for! When you get a crazy lady like this you turn to her and coldly say “How kind of you to take an interest.” And then SHUT UP - don’t say anything else, just look at her. If she continues yakking on, then you say, “I’ll be sure not to do the same if I am ever at your house.” I would never have a cat, but if I did, I certainly wouldn’t mind you cleaning the litter box! ---
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2013, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-scoop-someone-elses-litterboxes/648503/35 "2013-01-30T17:26:03Z")
Not rude, but risky if you don’t know how the owner disposes of the scoopables. Some of that supposedly flushable litter can cause extremely expensive damage to the pipes, yet others get upset to have stinky stuff in the trash. Trying to help can be harmful, and it’s not fair to make an executive decision and leave others to deal with the aftermath. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2013, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-scoop-someone-elses-litterboxes/648503/36 "2013-01-30T22:20:59Z")
You are free to scoop our litter boxes at any time they seem to need it. In fact, between the scooping and the compulsive need to organize, how’s about you move in with me? I’ve got a spare bedroom, four cats, and a lot of books to organize. Plus a guy named Bill. What more can you ask for? ---
**Author:** ![Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimmy_Gibbler)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2013, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-scoop-someone-elses-litterboxes/648503/37 "2013-01-30T23:24:54Z")
> [@Rachellelogram](#): > > Not rude. Really weird, though. > [@Leaper](#): > > Overall though, I agree it isn’t _rude_, per se, but does make you look a little… OCD-ish? I’m afraid I disagree. Suppose it were a guest who volunteered to make up your unmade bed one afternoon? Or if you say, “Well, guests aren’t supposed to be in my bedroom,” suppose they decided to organize your mail stack in the living room? I think you find it odd but not rude because unlike canonical rudeness, this doesn’t seem to come from malice. But you can also be rude by being thoughtless, as when you fail to consider “Will my host find this to be an unwelcome intrusion on my personal/living space/effects?” It’s not rude-insulting, but it is rude-intrusive. One might even say overbearing. So, I recapitulate: Don’t go through your host’s shit. It’s a basic rule. > [@Anaamika](#): > > These are the situations that Miss Manners works wonders for! When you get a crazy lady like this you turn to her and coldly say “How kind of you to take an interest.” And then SHUT UP - don’t say anything else, just look at her. If she continues yakking on, then you say, “I’ll be sure not to do the same if I am ever at your house.” This is my favorite because it is so unhinged. MM recommends the non sequitur answer in response to intrusive questions. Like when a distant acquaintance’s first question about your new baby is “Oh, she looks nothing like you, is she adopted?” (Non sequitur answer: “I think she’s just lovely too.”) The non sequitur is never appropriate to the advisement that one probably shouldn’t have done whatever one just did. “I think Emmaline was a little taken aback by your remark just now.” “Oh! I do so love the autumn!” This comes across less as unflappable savior-faire and more as stone-cold bitch. Or autism spectrum. And I think you know this because what else could your proposed follow-up, “Well, now I know not to do it at your house,” be other than a passive-aggressive half-apology? Is that latter repartee meant to be a burn? Because the whole point of bringing the incident up in the first place was to get it through the poop scoop perpetrator’s head that _this is not something your supposed to do when visiting other people’s houses!_ So, seen in this light, protesting you won’t do it again isn’t really the sick burn you seem to think. It’s not really an apology either though. It’s kind of the worst of all possible worlds: a begrudging acknowledgement of error coupled with a gratuitous spirit of recrimination. The kind of thing that inspires responses like “You won’t get the chance not to do it at my house, 'cause you’re never getting an invitation, poop freak.” ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2013, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-scoop-someone-elses-litterboxes/648503/38 "2013-02-01T04:27:15Z")
> [@Leaper](#): > > That’s a key thing, IMO; if the cat is prone to be ill, and the owner watches out for this kind of thing, it could send the wrong message. > > Overall though, I agree it isn’t _rude_, per se, but does make you look a little… OCD-ish? > [@kayaker](#): > > Says you.If the cat owner flushes cat feces, they might be puzzled by the odor in their garbage can. Good point about the illness, but I was at my best friend’s house. I know about kitteh’s health because I make a point to ask. I also know that she puts her litter in the garbage can, but even if I didn’t, the fabric tube full of plastic bags on a hook was kind of a give away. We talked today (friend and I), and she mentioned that Jane had complained to her about me cleaning the litterbox. She thought it was very funny because I’ve been doing that for years. She also mentioned that she wasn’t sure about me when we first met, because I was one of her husband’s friends and they all tend to be strange. She said that she knew that we would be friends when her cat started horking up a hairball on the rug and I instantly jumped up and grabbed kitteh and put her on the tile floor. While I don’t usually travel with my heavy duty pooper scooper, there are some Doper’s I’d like to meet. I can bring it with me 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-scoop-someone-elses-litterboxes/648503.md?page=1)