# Is it rude to tell someone to feel better? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 8, 2013, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-tell-someone-to-feel-better/646543 "2013-01-08T21:49:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2013, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-tell-someone-to-feel-better/646543/1 "2013-01-08T21:49:18Z")
This is about as pointless and frivolous as it gets. It’s customary when someone is sick to say “I hope you feel better.” But in the past 25 years or so a lot of people are saying “Feel better” instead. It comes out as an order, making me want to say “Oh, yes sir! Whatever you say, your majesty. Putz.” Of course when people say it to me, I’m pretty grumpy anyway so there’s that. And on a scale of 1-10 in annoyingness, it rates about a 1.2. Does this bother anyone else? ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2013, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-tell-someone-to-feel-better/646543/2 "2013-01-08T21:53:59Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Does this bother anyone else? Why would it? “Feel better” is not an order, it’s an empathetic suggestion. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2013, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-tell-someone-to-feel-better/646543/3 "2013-01-08T21:55:01Z")
It’s “I hope you feel better soon” in txt spk. ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2013, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-tell-someone-to-feel-better/646543/4 "2013-01-08T21:55:04Z")
Do you also object to “Get Well Soon”? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2013, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-tell-someone-to-feel-better/646543/5 "2013-01-08T21:57:57Z")
> [@amarinth](#): > > Do you also object to “Get Well Soon”? No. For some reason “feel better” pushes my buttons though. I’m not sure why. ---
**Author:** ![Ghost\_of\_6\_80](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/94ad74/32.png) [@Ghost\_of\_6\_80](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghost_of_6_80)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2013, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-tell-someone-to-feel-better/646543/6 "2013-01-08T22:05:08Z")
How dare someone order you to feel better, the nerve. Or maybe people should being so ridiculously politically correct. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2013, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-tell-someone-to-feel-better/646543/7 "2013-01-08T22:10:30Z")
What? No. Not any more rude than telling someone to ‘‘have a nice day.’’ ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2013, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-tell-someone-to-feel-better/646543/8 "2013-01-08T23:43:21Z")
I admit to feeling weird when I catch myself saying “Get better soon”. ---
**Author:** ![Small\_Hen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ad7895/32.png) [@Small\_Hen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Small_Hen)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2013, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-tell-someone-to-feel-better/646543/9 "2013-01-09T00:03:02Z")
It bugs me a bit when people tell me to smile, but “feel better” doesn’t, which seems odd now that I think of it. Maybe because “feel better” seems more like wishing someone well, where as “C’mon! Smile!” insinuates that it doesn’t matter how a person feels, so long as they look pleasant. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2013, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-tell-someone-to-feel-better/646543/10 "2013-01-09T00:09:16Z")
I roll with, “Look after yourself.” Feel better? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2013, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-tell-someone-to-feel-better/646543/11 "2013-01-09T02:05:03Z")
I will admit to being mildly annoyed when someone utters this type of phrase and I strongly suspect that they do not actually care even the tiniest bit whether I have a “nice day” or “feel better” or whatever, but are only saying it out of politeness or obligation, snaring me into this ritual of exchanged insincerity. If you have no reason to suspect that the person does not genuinely wish you well though, it seems pretty picky and small to interpret the specific phrasing of someone’s good wishes as rude. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2013, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-tell-someone-to-feel-better/646543/12 "2013-01-09T02:22:29Z")
I can see it. I don’t suppose I’d react that way myself, because I grok what is actually meant. But I always make the extra effort to make myself clear, and say, “I hope you feel better.” No ambiguity there, I hope! ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2013, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-tell-someone-to-feel-better/646543/13 "2013-01-09T02:33:18Z")
If someone tells me, “Feel better,” I’m going to die. Just to spite them. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2013, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-tell-someone-to-feel-better/646543/14 "2013-01-09T13:30:32Z")
I agree with the OP. It’s a little annoying to be _told_ to get better rather than just expressing a wish that I get better. And yeah, it’s no big deal, just a little grating. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2013, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-tell-someone-to-feel-better/646543/15 "2013-01-09T13:56:30Z")
Yesterday I told a friend to get better, which is what prompted me to start this thread. Then last night I told another friend to take care of herself. Bitches better comply. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2013, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-tell-someone-to-feel-better/646543/16 "2013-01-09T14:08:38Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Bitches better comply. 😛 I always say “I hope you feel better.” I have friends who say things like “You take care of that baby!” to new moms and I have an absolute horror of sounding that inane. “No, I thought I’d tie her to a rope and let her bump along behind the car for ballast.” Yes, I realize it’s perfectly understood that I’m not “ordering” my friends to feel better, but I’d rather express my good wishes. ETA: To answer the OP, no, it is not rude to tell someone to feel better. There are various ways to say it. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2013, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-tell-someone-to-feel-better/646543/17 "2013-01-09T14:12:42Z")
Moving thread from IMHO to MPSIMS. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2013, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-tell-someone-to-feel-better/646543/18 "2013-01-09T14:50:42Z")
It’s better than ending a conversation with “See ya!” which has similar issues. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2013, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-tell-someone-to-feel-better/646543/19 "2013-01-09T15:08:57Z")
I sometimes say it. I don’t mean harm. Its not like I’m shouting, “Achtung! Feel Better! Beeil Dich!\*” \*although that might be so silly that it could have the intended effect. ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2013, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-tell-someone-to-feel-better/646543/20 "2013-01-09T16:02:01Z")
I usually say ‘‘I hope you feel better soon’’ or something similar. Canadian politeness? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-rude-to-tell-someone-to-feel-better/646543.md?page=2)