# Is it sexist for a man to pay a compliment to a woman on her looks?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-sexist-for-a-man-to-pay-a-compliment-to-a-woman-on-her-looks/60430>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [April 2, 2001, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-sexist-for-a-man-to-pay-a-compliment-to-a-woman-on-her-looks/60430 "2001-04-02T01:56:00Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 2\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![FallenAngel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@FallenAngel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FallenAngel)\
**Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-sexist-for-a-man-to-pay-a-compliment-to-a-woman-on-her-looks/60430/21 "2001-04-02T23:56:18Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by moi \*  
> **It’s not just the guy’s actions and words that inform the woman’s reaction to a compliment, either. Sometimes, how a woman takes a compliment has a lot to do with how comfortable she is in her own skin. As a guy, you could give the same exact compliment to two women (“You look really nice today.”) and receive completely different reactions (“Thank you.” “What, and I look like shit every other day?”). Some women are completely uncomfortable in their bodies (this has nothing to do with how “attractive” they are) and, as a result, just can’t take a compliment that has anything to do with their physical appearance.**

Which then necessitates one of two different follow-up responses:

Situation 1: A smile and a “You’re welcome” while you then proceeed to go about your business

Situation 2: Either a) a “yes” and then you proceed to go about your business or b) “Sorry. I didn’t realize you were a complete fucking nutjob. Forget I said anything,” as you back away slowly.

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**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\
**Post date:** [April 3, 2001, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-sexist-for-a-man-to-pay-a-compliment-to-a-woman-on-her-looks/60430/22 "2001-04-03T00:14:12Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Cyberhwk \*  
> \*\*\<Chris Rock\>  
> The only difference between sexual harassment and a complement is that the man has to be ugly for it to be sexual harassment.  
> \</Chris Rock\>
> 
> Think about it. If George Clooney (sp?) goes up to some girl and tells them they have a nice body, can you see charges being filed? \*\*

I’m sure that you realize that Chris Rock is a comedian, and as such is going for a humorous response, vs. attempting to prove a case.

Can I imagine a good lookin’ guy getting charged? you bet, have seen it too.

As for the OP, I think you’ve gotten excellent advice. “It depends” on what you say, how you say it, the circumstances which include the setting, the personal connection (if any) of the woman, and other assorted things such as cultural issues. Clue # 1 - if she takes a half step back, gets a frozen smile on her face and a ‘deer in the headlight’ look in her eyes -she didn’t appreciate it.

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