Is it sick and wrong? Or a clever way to pay for your kid's college education?

erislover:

I hope you are engaging in hysterical hyperbole when you proclaim yourself to be a pedophile. You know, something similar tot he way you keep “removing” yourself from the debate (is this the second or the third time?)

I find your rationalization of pedophilia disturbing. “They know what they are doing.” “Children have sexuality.”

These are neither true nor or they valid justifications.

Children do develop sexually. An adult however is a fiduciary to a child and may not take advantage of this fact.

You may not use a child for your sexual gratification. You may not engage in an activity whose purpose is to make such use of a child.

To do so is vile, evil and in most every case; illegal.

You know, I know quite a few people who have been molested in their childhood-and without exception, each one has said that it was a horrific, terrifying, and soul destroying experience, extremely damaging to them and quite a few were put off sex for awhile, and many still are.

Unless you have evidence to the contrary, erislover.

Gosh Guan, do you think that every girl who plays dress-up in their lives and show off their sense of fashion to family and strangers are subject to being molested? My goodness. Do I have to grow my would-be daughter up like a tomboy in order to sastisfy your disgust?

Gee capacitor is your would- be- daughter dressing in a thong bikini and thigh high stockings while bending over for a rear-view photo op?

To pretend that Guin or any of us, are talking about little girls choosing to dress in frilly dresses, with boas etc. and glitter abounding is disingenuous to say the least. IME (and not only was I a little girl once, I’m an aunt to several), when little girls play dress up, they go for frilly, glitter, feathers, satin, fancy, etc. and usually the adage is ‘if some is good, more is better’ (ie they wouldn’t dress nearly nekkid).

No, I would not, although I know of parents who allow girls to wear even less than thong bikinis. Of course the girls are black belt karateka as well and excellent dirty fighters.

My point is that are we supposed to hide our children and lock them in an encloded place away from the rest of the world because someone out there may be a suspected pervert? If all the parents were to do this, then the perverts have totally won the war. We have conceded the world to them and their way of thinking.

I’m wondering if you 've been following this debate. The topic of discussion revolves around some parents who have their pre-pubescent daughters dress in things like thong bikini + thigh highs and pose in ways that you’d see adult females pose in playboy. And, they post these pictures on the web on a pay per view site, complete with message board (with messages from posters like ‘cumtopapa’), and allow said posters to send certain skimpy outfits for their daughters to pose in. And, to add to it all, one of the parents involved, cautioned a poster to ‘not be too obvious’ in their posting.

Now, that’s the topic. Not kids playing on a beach. not parents hiding their children away from all evil. NOpe, these parents are encouraging their children to attract child molesters etc. To my mind way different. Check out the links given on the first page, and then come back and tell me that if you still feel we’re talking about ‘letting the perverts win’.

First off, I’d like to thank Stoid for starting this thread and posting the article in question (wassamatter? Nothing else in the cupboard for lunch but this big ol’ can of worms?). I hadn’t seen it, and as it addresses an issue which I feel is of tatamount importance, you have my appreciation. As we’ve seen, it can be difficult to discuss it rationally without a lot of hostility spewing forth, which is what makes it all the more necessary to take every opportunity given to work it out a little more completely.

Freedom: Because I’m decent guy, I’ll go ahead and answer your questions in your most recent post; but I am still waiting for your answers to the questions that I asked you: How do you know Amber’s name is fake? (Granted, it’s likely, just for safety reasons; but you stated that it was). What’s your source for this information? Also, you made the statement that “all [her] fans were pedophiles jerking off behind a computer.” This is Great Debates, not the Pit. You are expected in this forum to provide proof of your assertions. You have been asked to do so. Please provide proof of this statement. You want to piss about personal attacks, follow the rules yourself.

Onward. Formatting for reasons of space and brevity:

Freedom: “What the hell is a “model website”?”

Dijon: It’s a website done by/for a model to promote her portfolio and help land her modelling jobs. In some cases, it evidently becomes the modelling job. In others, it’s apparently intended to be from the beginning.

Freedom: “Let’s face it, there is no such thing as a pay-per-view adult model website that isn’t a porn site.”

Dijon: Cite, please. :rolleyes:

Freedom: “A traditional model is used to sell a specific and seperate product. A singer is selling her voice. An actress is selling her talent. All these people may use parts of their sexuality, but it is not their actual sexuality that they are selling.”

Dijon: If parts of their sexuality are being used to enhance the sale of their product, then indeed to that extent it is their actual sexuality that they are selling. Unless I’m not getting your distinction.

Freedom: “A porn star is selling her own body. She is selling herself for the sexual gratification of others. There is nothing wrong with this at 18, but it is a big problem at 11.”

Dijon: I wasn’t aware of the sale of porn stars’ bodies. Videos of those bodies, certainly; but not the bodies themselves. Do they auction on Ebay? My landlord won’t let me get a cat. :wink: Besides, these kids aren’t porn stars to my knowledge, so I’m not sure there’s a valid connection here. I can understand what prompts the comparison, though.

Freedom: “Can anyone point out any adult with a similiar pay site that is non-pornographic?”

Dijon: Not according to you. (Freedom: “Let’s face it, there is no such thing as a pay-per-view adult model website that isn’t a porn site.” Remember?)

Freedom: “Is there a web business here that I missed?”

Dijon: Could be. True enough about their sale of Amber’s videos. I posted the link you referred to. Still, I don’t see a lot of difference between getting hired for modeling jobs and simply marketing your output yourself. Kicks out the middleman, and you’ve always got work. I just don’t see how that constitutes her parents “selling her down the river”. The Olsen Twins parents have been selling videos of their kids for years. Is that “selling them down the river”? They presumably also are purchased by pedophiles. Does that consitiute deliberately marketing to them?

Freedom: “Accepting for a second that her parents started out with just the intentions of giving their daughter a free “model” website for her to play around with, I would have to ask what the intentions of Molli’s parents were. They started out as a pay site with a video to sell.”

Dijon: I can’t speak to the intentions of Molli’s parents (or indeed anyone elses). What the situation seems to be in Amber’s case is that the original intent of her website was to shop out her portfolio. It evolved to its present state when it was realized that the site itself was marketable, thus eliminating the need to get modeling jobs. She had created her own.

I agree with someone upthread that what this discussion really needs is participation by these parents, so we can get some facts instead of settling for speculation. However, given how they have been tried, convicted, and impaled on pikes in this thread; if I was them, I wouldn’t really expect anyone to listen to me.

Freedom: “Will one of you guys who keep claiming that pedophiles are only a “part” of her customers please tell me who you think the rest of her customers are?”

Dijon: I don’t believe I have claimed that pedophiles are only part of her customers, but what I did say is that they are most likely only part of her audience. Other components of that audience IMO would be talent scouts, modeling scouts (the legitimate kind; she has contact info for people/companies who want to hire her for shoots such as department store catalogues), photographers, other girls her age with modeling aspirations of their own, parents looking for fashion ideas for their daughters, classmates, teenage boys, former teenage boys, the list could go on. Oh yes, and pedophiles. And rabid antipedo zealots, which in my opinion are just as much a danger to someone like her as the people they hate.

Freedom: “Who besides a pedo(p)hile would pay for access to these sites?”

Dijon: Can’t say. Don’t know. That’s one reason I’m uncomfortable with the sites being paysites. Still, they’re her pictures; it’s not for me to tell her what she may or may not do with them. If she wants to sell them, and people want to buy them (whoever those people might be) that’s a decision she must make with her parents. It’s not my call, whether I like it or not.

Dijon I disagree w/your assessment of who else would acces the site. A legitimate talent scout would be highly unlikely to pay to view a prospective model - the way that whole game works is that the prospective models beg for an opportunity to have their pics seen by the scouts.

and you’re back to the whole other thing that e-lover was doing - ie, that ‘gee, if you can’t proove that 100% of the sites’ customers are child molesters, your whole arguement breaks down’. and that’s simply not true. It is clear (and you also seem to agree) that a great portion of the intended audience are c/molesters.

and, while they may be her pics, and to a great degree we don’t interfere w/parental decisions, we, as a society do routinely step in when the parent is not protecting their child. And, in this case, they’re using their child as bait to attract molesters. Once that has been done, they’ve greatly increased that child’s risk of being harmed and that alone is dasterdly enough to warrant our (society’s) attention.

once again, the difference is between pictures you’d be likely to see in the Sears catalog vs. Hustler, Playboy etc. they are different. The poses are different, the clothing is different, the accessories are different the intended audience is different. None of us has expressed a difficulty with the ‘sears’ brand of modeling. It is clear, however, that the ‘sears’ brand wasn’t profitable. Hence the switch.

wring, I resent that you stated that I was not following the debate here, and try to dismiss me. I looked at the sites as well. One of my hobbies is to report child porn. And yes, I have seen these sites referred to in ‘ontopic’ boards from time to time, before I get to shut them down. I don’t believe that children are to be exploited that way as well. As it is, however, the sites themselves in question do not technically violate the laws. Just because it is reported by a pedophile board it does not make it an illegal site. The parents should use some better judgement, I agree. There are some who suggest that pictures such as that of David by Michaelangelo should be banned as child porn. I won’t go that far, and I will fight just as hard against that notion as I do against exploiters online.

erislover, be nice to Scylla. He’s a cool bloke.

Scylla: I wanted to address your post as well, because you’re one of my favorite posters here, and erislover came off a bit flip. I know he meant no harm, but I wanted to give your post a bit more of a respectful response. I have a lot of respect for you as a poster, and I respect your position even if I may disagree with it so some extent. I hope you will take my post with this understanding. If I was a parent myself, I might be a lot less moderate than I am on this, but due to the emotional nature of the issue, I try to be as cautious as possible and look at it from all sides. Okay? :slight_smile:

Very possibly, but I’m not ready to jump to that conclusion quite. There is indeed an uncomfortably high level of assumable risk involved, so I’m not saying these sites are a good idea. I’m just not convinced that they are as bad an idea as others believe. But I could be wrong. I guess we’ll just have to see.

Could very well be. But throughout history, we’ve had this same attitude towards all sorts of groups of people. Once all the prejudice and ignorance and hatemongering were waded through, we frequently found ourselves to have been wrong. Not saying we are here, but it bears determining.

As I said, I respect your right to your views, but IIRC, this is very close to Dr. Laura’s attitude towards people who wish to have sex with their own gender. All I’m saying here is that these vitriolic gut responses to things (especially surrounding sexuality) have a nasty habit of turning out to be nothing more than social convention. That’s why cool heads and rational thinking absolutely must be the order of the day. Too many people have been hurt just because someone feels the way you do about someone. I did a thread on this several months ago, if you’d like to take a look. I finally got tired of Lamia insulting me, and abandoned it. Some good discussion in there, though. Remember to take slow, deep breaths. :slight_smile:

I don’t agree with this. Perhaps to commit pedophilically-driven acts against someone in our current society, but not to be a pedophile in the first place. Pedophiles just are, no rationalization or distance from reality required. I can’t claim to be one myself, but I can understand them to an extent, which is something most people seem unable to do.

For me, it comes down to a couple things. Number one, the contention that sexual attraction must be reproductively motivated to be valid is wrong. This is something that people often bring up: children can’t reproduce, so the attraction to them is a perversion. Only thing is, lots of types of relationships can’t reproduce: gay relationships, post-menopausal relationships, post-vasectomy relationships, post-hysterectomy relationships. We don’t consider those perversions because of this, so the argument against pedophilia at least on this point breaks down. Plus, sex is also almost never about reproduction anyway. 99%+ of the time it’s about (hopefully mutual) pysical gratification and emotional bonding. Children are just as capable of experiencing these things as adults (the mention someone upthread made of the “Age of first orgasm” thread, for example. Some people chimed in with ages in the low single digits. Females are orgasmically functional from birth).

I’m NOT saying this means it’s okay to have sex with kids; only that the perception of them being invalid sexual partners is inaccurate. Therefore, I don’t believe pedophilia to be a perversion so much as a dangerously unpopular sexual orientation. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, but I can empathize with those that are stuck with it. They must be very lonely people, and it’s not their fault. Hating them doesn’t help. That’s why I’m really saddened by a lot of the responses these threads get from people on this board. Prejudice, no matter who it’s directed at, is an ugly, ugly thing.

I’ll admit to being a bit of an Amber fan myself, but I have no issue with that. If I was in her class at school, she’d have me head over heels for her. My feelings as an adult are a remnant of that. As twelve year old girls go, she’s a knockout. No masturbation involved, despite Freedom’s oh so perceptive characterisation to the contrary. :rolleyes: But I can appreciate her on her own level. I’m not a subscriber, however. I got in when the site was free, and she makes occasional appearances on my wallpaper. She’s pretty. That’s all there is to it.

It does, but it also might bring their fantasies sufficiently close to actualization. If a hard drive of Amber pics keeps 'em home and busy, isn’t that better than prowling the neighborhood?

I would change the penultimate word to “might”. I don’t believe that it’s guaranteed. Likely, though.

Again, I respect your right to your opinion, but if something is inherently wrong, there damned well better be an explanation. Especially if we’re going to go around punishing people for it. By the way, I think erislover’s response to this remark was his way of saying if your mind’s already made up, there’s not much point in discussing it further. He’ll be back. He’s just jazzin’ with you a bit, I think.

So lay it on me. Does this help any?

(Quick note to wring: You’re right, legitimate talent scouts wouldn’t pay to see pictures of her; that’s why (as I said) I’m not comfortable with the pay-to-view concept. I was simply suggesting what other kinds of people might have reason to access her site at all. There are still free pictures for people who are interested in her from a professional standpoint. As to who would be paying to see them, that’s what bothers me. I think the answer to that is fairly obvious. Also, I’m not saying anyone’s argument is breaking down; only that people’s contention that the customer base is 100% child molesters is unproven. It may be true, but I doubt it very much. Lots of pedophiles, though, I’m betting. There is a big difference between the two, you know.)

resent? Hmm. let’s reflect - After 5 pages, where the very points you stated had been covered ad infinitum, you post the same argument (the playing dress up stuff). And here, you talk about that the cites aren’t illegal. The thread title if you’ll note, is not “are these illegal?” but “is it sick/ wrong?” .

Given that, is it any wonder that I honestly asked if you’d been following the debate? sheesh.

Dijon - I’m not saying, and frankly I don’t see anyone else claiming either, that the subscribers to those sites are 100% pedophiles/molesters. The very high probability is, however that the great majority of them are. To pretend otherwise is, well, frankly, what the parents are doing. And, if you need evidence to suggest that it’s ‘wrong’ - look to that. The parents themselves, apparently need to keep the ‘appearance’ up - this whole ‘try not to be too obvious’ line strikes me as the penultimate in self inflicted delusion. They know who their customers are, but don’t want to be forced to ‘know’.

And, once again, it is not necessary for all of us to wait and allow a child to be harmed through this to declare that we find it ‘wrong’ and ‘sick’ on the part of the parents.

For example, I thought that piling a load of kids into the back of a pick up truck was ‘wrong’. I didn’t need the accident where 11 were killed to convince me of it.

Do you see the difference? you and erislover want to cling to the same delusion that the parents are clinging to - that since we don’t have evidence on hand that the child in question is being harmed right now, and we can’t prove that 100% of those viewing it are molesters/etc., then it’s ok. And it’s not. Even the most dangerous activities are often not 100% fatal, right? but that still doesn’t make them good ideas.

It is a parents job to protect their child. Not increase their risk of being harmed and then try to avoid it after the fact.

Dijon:

Thanks for the considerate reply. Children however are invalid sex partners for adults.

A child, by definition is not emotionally or sexually mature. Child molestation causes horrendous emotional and sometimes even physical consequences. Anybody that would be willing to submit a child to a lifetime of suffering and angst for a few minutes of pleasure, is not human in my mind and is not entitled to consideration as such.

One can certainly appreciate the beauty of a child. In a normal and sane person, this does not instill lust.

Children do not exist for the sexual gratification of adults. Using them, and destroying them emotionally is the worst thing a human being can do, IMO. That, is what a pedophile does.

The “it’s not their fault,” argument doesn’t really impress me. It’s not a rabid dog’s fault that it’s rabid either, and I have no interest and can see no purpose in trying to empathise with it. There is only one appropriate response to a rabid dog.

A pedophile is a destroyer of children, and he/she does so for the most trivial of reasons: sexual pleasure.

I cannot see how any responsible, humane, and caring member of society could condone, support or allow such activities.

If you are fucking children, you are evil. Period. If you feel this desire, you better damn well repress it.

People have innapropriate desires all the time. Part of being an adult is controlling them.

A large part of being a human being is realizing that your immediate pleasure is not the most important thing in the world, and that the rights of others must be respected.

A child has a right not to be molested, not to be preyed upon, not to be used, not to be destroyed.

A pedophile takes a child by force. The child cannot consent. This is rape, and it is not tolerable in any form.

I would appreciate it if my posts spoke for themselves instead of my opponents continuing to twist them into something else.

Thank you.

4 pages, and Scylla still doesn’t understand the difference between “pedophile” and “child molestor.” Oddly, I’m not surprised.

Is a celibate homosexual still homosexual?

As for the first, I understand. As for the second, of course. However, I don’t think many of our gay posters would appreciate the comparison.

A 100% suppressed pedophile isn’t a problem. A pedophile who chooses an adult partner who is small, or childlike in appearance, or wishes that person to shave their pubes isn’t a problem. A pedophile who wishes their partner to dress and act like a child during sexual activity isn’t a problem. A pedophile who merely fantasizes isn’t a problem. Etc.

Whenever, an actual child enters into the equation though, it is a real problem. There are real children involved in that link.
erislover:

I had thought you had left?

actually pldennison I think that although Scylla continues to use the word pedophile to mean only those who have molested children, in his post he does seem to indicate an awareness of some one who is not actively touching/harming a child, vs. some one who is (reference his statement about being an adult and controlling oneself).

erislover I have no idea what you meant by your last post.

the issue, I suspect, is not if c/molestation is or isn’t ok. So far no one seems to argue with the position that in todays’ society, actively touching a child for sexual purposes is roundly condemned. There are those who believe that it may be viewed differently in the future. My crystal ball is in the shop, so I can’t tell.

however, in the real world, in the here and now, the topic was: is it wrong and sick for these parents to set up the web site as they have? IMO, you bet.

another possible side line (but not the one proposed in the OP) is ’ do such sites help the pedophile refrain from actually molesting or do they encourage the pedophile to molest". and that’s the topic here (on that “I don’t know, there’s not any studies that I’m aware of that speaks to that” is part of my answer, the rest of my answer is on that thread).

Wring:

Excellent points. I might add that IMO these sites areexamples of molestation. Children are being used for the purpose of sexual gratification of adults. The eye-winking-pretend-it’s-something-else attitude does nothing to ameliorate the fact that these parents are prostituting their children.

Yes, there’s a difference.

But in this case, Phil, Scylla has a point: there seems to be a continuum of ways for adults to use children for their sexual gratification. Actual sex with a child is obviously far worse than posing the kids in provocative ways and selling the photos and videos to men for them to masturbate to. The latter is a milder form of the former, but it’s still the same basic idea, and that was Scylla’s point: “it is not tolerable in any form”.

OK, he got sloppy with his wording. But using that as a way to diss his post without having to rebut it is a cheap shot. You’re a very smart person, and you don’t need to play those sorts of games.

Why? In my experience, Scylla’s always been an honest debater.

::cringing::
Well, there was this tiny little thing that he might be just a teensie bit upset with me about…

Given that, then, it might be prudent to not use them as if they were interchangeable, as they are not. Doing so is at least as offensive as Tedster using “sodomite,” “homosexual” and “child molestor” as synonyms over in another thread.

Fortunately for all of us, I was not making a comparison. I was asking a question for rhetorical emphasis. I think people need to refer to some of matt-mcl’s prior posts on this topic, if not on this thread then elsewhere.

A pedophile is someone who is attracted to children sexually. Period. matt has mentioned before that he has at least one acquaintance who is a pedophile. But that person knows it is wrong to have sex with children, and does not act on it. IIRC, though, it is not uncommon in the gay community for younger gay men, say ages 14-18, to seek their first sexual experiences with older men. Does that make those men pedophiles?

Are any of them being forced into having sexual intercourse with adults? I don’t think so. Obviously, some posters have made valid points as to these parents having potentially breached their contract with their children to raise them in certain ways. But too many people here are treating these sites as if they were as bad as forced sexual intercourse, to which I say, “Horsefeathers.”

And, frankly, I’d rather have pedophiles sitting at home jerking off to pictures of Amber, or the Olsen twins, or Macauley Culkin, then out trolling schoolyards for molestation victims.

So what if erislover really is a pedophile? If he isn’t molesting children, who cares?

And what if he’s having sex with 16 or 17 year old girls? It’s a given that children, especially preadolescent children, are not capable mentally, emotionally, physically or ethically of making certain kinds of decisions. Decisions concerning sexual behavior are one of those. But when we start getting into 15, 16, 17 and 18 year olds, the waters are (and should be) murkier.

There is nothing that happens on the 18th anniversary of one’s birth that makes one capable of rendering intelligent decisions about sex. One can be a lot older than 18, in fact, and still not make those decisions intelligently. For a boy or girl born on Jan. 1, 1980, there is nothing significantly different about them between Dec. 31, 1997 and Jan. 1, 1998 that accounts for an ability to make decisions about sex. It’s simply a legal status that we attach to people. There probably isn’t much significantly different between Jan. 1, 1997 and Dec. 31, 1997, either.