# Is it silly to reach out after 40 years, out of the blue, to send an apology?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-silly-to-reach-out-after-40-years-out-of-the-blue-to-send-an-apology/923554>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [October 22, 2020, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-silly-to-reach-out-after-40-years-out-of-the-blue-to-send-an-apology/923554 "2020-10-22T02:04:03Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Showing post:** 62

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**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\
**Post date:** [October 23, 2020, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-silly-to-reach-out-after-40-years-out-of-the-blue-to-send-an-apology/923554/62 "2020-10-23T13:57:51Z")

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> [@Whack-a-Mole](#):
>
> An important part of the 12-Step system in Alcoholics Anonymous is making amends to anyone you have harmed. You need to make a list and then actually make amends…whatever that may be (an apology or more…up to you to figure out).
> 
> That said, they are crystal clear that you should NOT do this if doing so might injure the other person (emotionally). If your apology helps both parties then great. Go for it. If the other person wants no part of it then walk away.

Here’s a [thread](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ever-been-the-recipient-of-making-amends/750470) full of stories from people who wish the person making amends had just left them alone. The person wishing to make “amends” is honestly the worst person on Earth to judge if they’d be welcome or not.

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