# Is it socially acceptable to send your ex photos of your current significant other? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 24, 2013, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-socially-acceptable-to-send-your-ex-photos-of-your-current-significant-other/667038 "2013-08-24T07:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![the\_apples\_fell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecb155/32.png) [@the\_apples\_fell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_apples_fell)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2013, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-socially-acceptable-to-send-your-ex-photos-of-your-current-significant-other/667038/1 "2013-08-24T07:15:07Z")
I personally say no. My ex messaged me on Facebook today and we were talking and out of the blue, he sends me photos of his current boyfriend, and then the exes he had after me. And I said “You’re trying to make me jealous. It’s not working. I quite literally could not care less about seeing photos of any of your other boyfriends.” I think it’s something people should just NOT do, and know is not okay to do. It’s essentially rubbing it in your face that they have moved on and that you meant nothing. It’s another way of saying “Look what I can get… I did better the second time, fuck you!” ---
**Author:** ![JBDivmstr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b4bc9f/32.png) [@JBDivmstr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBDivmstr)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2013, 9:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-socially-acceptable-to-send-your-ex-photos-of-your-current-significant-other/667038/2 "2013-08-24T09:39:08Z")
“we were talking and out of the blue, he sends me photos of his current boyfriend, and then the exes he had after me” WTF?! Totally ‘jerkish’ behavior. You seeing photos of new and/or ex SOs because he has posted them on his FB page, is one thing. Him _ **deliberately** _ sending those type of pics to you, unasked? :mad: Completely unacceptable, at the very least. Petty and ‘assholish’, in my personal opinion. To communicate with this person any further, in any way, is _ **not** _ something _ **I** _ would do. Why are you even talking to him? Move on! ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2013, 10:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-socially-acceptable-to-send-your-ex-photos-of-your-current-significant-other/667038/3 "2013-08-24T10:21:07Z")
You already know the answer to this, and you don’t need people to validate your right to feel annoyed. In the future, don’t engage in conversations with him. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2013, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-socially-acceptable-to-send-your-ex-photos-of-your-current-significant-other/667038/4 "2013-08-24T14:00:13Z")
My exes are EX for good reasons, some major some just growing apart. I don’t have too many interactions with them, tho I don’t go out of my way to avoid them. The pics thing looks like some form of competition or other immaturity happening. ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2013, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-socially-acceptable-to-send-your-ex-photos-of-your-current-significant-other/667038/5 "2013-08-24T14:19:04Z")
You need a third option; something like, “It exposes him as a total creep.” I voted no, but I would have preferred that third choice. Speaking of total creeps, a formal girlfriend of Mark Andreeson, the Netscape guy, told me of meeting him on the street after he became rich and asking her, “Now aren’t you sorry you broke up with me?” She wasn’t. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2013, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-socially-acceptable-to-send-your-ex-photos-of-your-current-significant-other/667038/6 "2013-08-24T15:35:12Z")
He sounds like a total jerk, but… he is SO not over you. _\_ ---
**Author:** ![Learjeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/94ad74/32.png) [@Learjeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Learjeff)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2013, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-socially-acceptable-to-send-your-ex-photos-of-your-current-significant-other/667038/7 "2013-08-24T19:35:04Z")
> [@Hari\_Seldon](#): > > “Now aren’t you sorry you broke up with me?” If I was before, I wouldn’t be now! ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2013, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-socially-acceptable-to-send-your-ex-photos-of-your-current-significant-other/667038/8 "2013-08-24T19:39:02Z")
> [@Hari\_Seldon](#): > > You need a third option; something like, “It exposes him as a total creep.” I voted no, but I would have preferred that third choice. And a fourth option: _“It’s socially unacceptable for your current significant other to send pictures of you to their ex.”_ I’d be annoyed and suspicious if I found out my girlfriend or wife was sending pictures of me to her ex\*. \*Unless her ex is another woman and they’re planning a surprise for my birthday. Then it’s okay. ---
**Author:** ![PastTense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pasttense/32/14550_2.png) [@PastTense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PastTense)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2013, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-socially-acceptable-to-send-your-ex-photos-of-your-current-significant-other/667038/9 "2013-08-24T19:43:07Z")
It totally depends on the current relationship between you and your ex. If you two have a positive relationship why not? ---
**Author:** ![Arabella\_Flynn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8491ac/32.png) [@Arabella\_Flynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arabella_Flynn)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2013, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-socially-acceptable-to-send-your-ex-photos-of-your-current-significant-other/667038/10 "2013-08-24T21:23:25Z")
I voted it was okay, but I was thinking more a situation where you and the ex were still in contact for some reason, and you were exchanging photos that happened to have the new SO in them. If you’re in friendly contact then there’s nothing rude about not editing out your new partner. You kind of expect someone to date people who are not you after you’ve broken up with them, no? Sending a photo specifically to go ‘neener neener neener, look who I’m sleeping with now’? Creepy, distasteful, unlikely to work how you planned, and definitely NOT okay. Man, some people. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2013, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-socially-acceptable-to-send-your-ex-photos-of-your-current-significant-other/667038/11 "2013-08-24T21:25:38Z")
I don’t see any reason for my exes to even speak to me, let alone send me photos. ---
**Author:** ![Girlundone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/919ad9/32.png) [@Girlundone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girlundone)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2013, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-socially-acceptable-to-send-your-ex-photos-of-your-current-significant-other/667038/12 "2013-08-24T21:40:17Z")
Don’t get pissed off or react at all. Indifference is the best defense. If he is trying to make you jealous (which is weird and I agree with ThelmaLou, he’s not over you) then by not giving two shits, you are the clear winner. He’s looking for a reaction. Don’t hand his dumbass exactly what he is asking for. I would comment positively as in, “Wow, he’s cute. I’m really happy for you guys.” Your sincerity has to be convincing though, or it just sounds like “bitter, party of one.” An ex with an agenda will get a reaction from me over my cold dead body. Oh hell no. After blowing them off with a smile I wouldn’t have any contact with them if I didn’t have to (I have to with my kids’ father). One the other hand, I am friends with a couple of exes and yes I talk with them about their current SOs like I would any other friend. ---
**Author:** ![jackdavinci](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackdavinci/32/3259_2.png) [@jackdavinci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackdavinci)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2013, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-socially-acceptable-to-send-your-ex-photos-of-your-current-significant-other/667038/13 "2013-08-24T23:18:10Z")
I would find it odd to send _anyone_ _any_ picture unsolicited, unless it was something they had previously expressed an interest in, had already come up naturally in conversation, or I asked them first “hey, you want to see…?” ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2013, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-socially-acceptable-to-send-your-ex-photos-of-your-current-significant-other/667038/14 "2013-08-25T03:35:12Z")
The first step in NOT getting caught up in playing someone else’s game is to recognize when the game is coming at you. Or something like that. Just sayin’. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2013, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-socially-acceptable-to-send-your-ex-photos-of-your-current-significant-other/667038/15 "2013-08-25T05:23:03Z")
Another reason why Facebook is the devil’s playground. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![FAL01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/59ef9b/32.png) [@FAL01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FAL01)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2013, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-socially-acceptable-to-send-your-ex-photos-of-your-current-significant-other/667038/16 "2013-08-25T05:27:24Z")
I think it is very strange that someone would send this sort of photo out of the blue and if they do it is inappropriate (perhaps rude but I am not 100% convinced of that). It is different if the viewer stumbled across the picture themselves eg on facebook ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2013, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-socially-acceptable-to-send-your-ex-photos-of-your-current-significant-other/667038/17 "2013-08-25T12:21:25Z")
I voted ‘no’, but then I realized it may be okay to let your penultimate SO see photos of your current SO. That is to say, if you’ve had three significant, long-term relationships in your life (you’re curtently in your third), the first SO may now be just a distant friend, far along his/her own life path, so no problem learning all about each others’ curtent situations. Having pretty much any contact with SO #2, though, might be unwise. Not nice for either your current SO, for former SO #2, nor for his/her current SO (if any). ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2013, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-socially-acceptable-to-send-your-ex-photos-of-your-current-significant-other/667038/18 "2013-08-25T12:47:17Z")
Only if it is a pet. ---
**Author:** ![the\_apples\_fell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecb155/32.png) [@the\_apples\_fell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_apples_fell)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2013, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-socially-acceptable-to-send-your-ex-photos-of-your-current-significant-other/667038/19 "2013-08-25T17:06:48Z")
> [@jackdavinci](#): > > I would find it odd to send _anyone_ _any_ picture unsolicited, unless it was something they had previously expressed an interest in, had already come up naturally in conversation, or I asked them first “hey, you want to see…?” It was done along the lines of “Hey, how are you”, “Good, you” – “I’m good. Here, look at these pictures of my new boyfriend !” ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2013, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-socially-acceptable-to-send-your-ex-photos-of-your-current-significant-other/667038/20 "2013-08-27T03:50:23Z")
> [@PastTense](#): > > It totally depends on the current relationship between you and your ex. Exactly. There’s no universal answer to this question. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-socially-acceptable-to-send-your-ex-photos-of-your-current-significant-other/667038.md?page=2)