# Is it time to say goodbye to my dog? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 1, 2020, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-time-to-say-goodbye-to-my-dog/854864 "2020-06-01T18:23:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2020, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-time-to-say-goodbye-to-my-dog/854864/1 "2020-06-01T18:23:31Z")
I have at least a 13-year-old mixed breed. He is relatively healthy except for spinal arthritis which makes it very hard for him to move on slick floors and in order to squat to use the bathroom. He seems to have lost control of his bowels too. The last few weeks have gotten steadily worse. Lots of accidents in the house with no warning at all. That said, he still eats/drinks normally, likes to go outside for short walks, and plays with his kong toy the best he can. I don’t think he is miserable or in major pain. I can put up with the accidents but I hate the idea of him suffering. Is it time? Of all the people I’ve asked who have seen him lately, the consensus is yes. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2020, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-time-to-say-goodbye-to-my-dog/854864/2 "2020-06-01T18:30:54Z")
> [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](#): > > He is relatively healthy except for spinal arthritis Is this a professional diagnosis? And is there any reasonable chance of it getting better, either on its own or with treatment? ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2020, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-time-to-say-goodbye-to-my-dog/854864/3 "2020-06-01T18:35:46Z")
Talk to your vet. If you can find a way to assess for and reduce pain along with reducing incontinence and/or its messes, it may not be time. But in my experience, when incontinence happens, the time is nearing. ---
**Author:** ![dolphinboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dolphinboy/32/330_2.png) [@dolphinboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dolphinboy)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2020, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-time-to-say-goodbye-to-my-dog/854864/4 "2020-06-01T19:09:33Z")
I have found most vets to be overly upfront and honest about these kinds of things. They know you don’t want to put the dog down, so they will give you all the facts so you can make an informed decision. You shouldn’t be deciding this in a vacuum or asking random strangers for advice. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2020, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-time-to-say-goodbye-to-my-dog/854864/5 "2020-06-01T19:27:28Z")
Go to the vet. We can’t tell you about his quality of life. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2020, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-time-to-say-goodbye-to-my-dog/854864/6 "2020-06-01T20:08:47Z")
Poor doggie. For me, it’s when they stop eating. And I try to tempt them with treats. And they take the treats, because they know I want them to and they still want to please me, but they don’t really eat them. (Cats don’t do this. If the cat takes the treat, the cat wants the treat. But dogs do.) It’s very tough. My sympathies. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2020, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-time-to-say-goodbye-to-my-dog/854864/7 "2020-06-01T20:16:32Z")
So sorry. An elderly dog can be such a blessing at times. It’s hard to give our animal friends up, when its time. I agree, go to the vet first. Then you can make an informed decision. Again, so sorry ☹ ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2020, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-time-to-say-goodbye-to-my-dog/854864/8 "2020-06-01T21:51:12Z")
Agreeing with everyone saying to talk to the vet. You want to make sure he hasn’t got something reasonably treatable; and that he’s not in significant pain. Some causes of incontinence can be treated with medication, and they make dog diapers. I also tend to go with whether they’re still willingly eating; as well as whether there’s positive response to patting, whether they seem to be enjoying going outside, and whether they otherwise seem to be resting reasonably comfortably. I’d be reluctant to euthanize anyone who’s still playful. But the vet. may also know what the prognosis is, and if he’s going to be significantly worse within a short time it might be better to go out before he has to go through the worst of it. ---
**Author:** ![araminty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b5e925/32.png) [@araminty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/araminty)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2020, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-time-to-say-goodbye-to-my-dog/854864/9 "2020-06-02T03:43:08Z")
In general, I’ve found if you have to ask, the answer is yes. IMHO, better a day too early than a day too late. It’s the last best gift we can give them. Best wishes to you both. ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2020, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-time-to-say-goodbye-to-my-dog/854864/10 "2020-06-02T12:34:54Z")
Luckily my neighbor is a vet and she was able to come see him last night. We decided it was time and she handled it. It was peaceful and caused him no stress. Friends and family came to say goodbye. It was really hard, but he had a great life. I still feel emotionally spent. I guess it will just take some time. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2020, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-time-to-say-goodbye-to-my-dog/854864/11 "2020-06-02T12:47:06Z")
I’m so sorry to hear that, but I’m glad he was able to go peacefully. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2020, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-time-to-say-goodbye-to-my-dog/854864/12 "2020-06-02T14:43:31Z")
Thank you for the update, Living Well. And thank you for giving that dog a wonderful life. We’ve had to say goodbye to two dogs in the last year and a half, and I still miss them every day. It’s one of the hardest things to do. I’m glad you had friends and family to help you and your dog in his final moments. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2020, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-time-to-say-goodbye-to-my-dog/854864/13 "2020-06-02T15:56:19Z")
I’m so sorry. Of course you did the right thing. I hope that will be of comfort to you. ---
**Author:** ![Aspenglow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspenglow/32/76_2.png) [@Aspenglow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspenglow)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2020, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-time-to-say-goodbye-to-my-dog/854864/14 "2020-06-02T16:25:43Z")
**Living Well** , you’ve been there for him in all the most important moments, the ones filled with joy – and the one filled with sorrow. The reason we miss them so much is that all the moments they share with us are wonderful except for the one where we must help them through their leaving. Of course you know this. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope soon you can remember him with a smile before the tears come. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2020, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-time-to-say-goodbye-to-my-dog/854864/15 "2020-06-02T16:51:45Z")
The larger-than-in-life hole they leave behind when they’re gone… ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2020, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-time-to-say-goodbye-to-my-dog/854864/16 "2020-06-02T17:11:44Z")
**Living Well** your dog also lived well, and I’m glad his end was peaceful. The ultimate kindness we can give our pets is to release them from pain. I’m sorry. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2020, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-time-to-say-goodbye-to-my-dog/854864/17 "2020-06-02T19:00:41Z")
I’m sorry for your loss; and glad that you and your dog had the time together that you did. ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2020, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-time-to-say-goodbye-to-my-dog/854864/18 "2020-06-02T19:55:09Z")
> [@araminty](#): > > In general, I’ve found if you have to ask, the answer is yes. . . . That’s been my personal experience, too. While, as others noted, it’s good to get a disinterested professional opinion on it, if you find yourself asking, then it’s probably time. It never gets easy, and it’s always painful. ---
**Author:** ![Pork\_Rind](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pork_rind/32/111_2.png) [@Pork\_Rind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pork_Rind)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2020, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-time-to-say-goodbye-to-my-dog/854864/19 "2020-06-02T20:04:51Z")
> [@araminty](#): > > In general, I’ve found if you have to ask, the answer is yes. IMHO, better a day too early than a day too late. It’s the last best gift we can give them. Best wishes to you both. Hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make. A vet in Seattle was a friend as well the guy that took care of our pets said something helpful once. He said that people would ask if they were making the right decison, but in his experience, no one had ever erred on the side of too soon, only too late. ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2020, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-time-to-say-goodbye-to-my-dog/854864/20 "2020-06-03T14:04:31Z")
Thank you all for the kind words. It was hard and I loved him very much. But I would rather be in pain without him than him be in pain still with me. Once a little time passes, I will be able to focus more on the great life he had filled with love. I can’t recommend enough how much better it is to have the vet come to your home when it’s time. It was virtually stress-free for my Wally. He was in his usual chair with me right there with him. Right now it’s just so quiet at home. I live alone so it was just us. For the past two days I have avoided going home. I just want to be around friends and family. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-time-to-say-goodbye-to-my-dog/854864.md?page=2)