# Is it true that washed soft towels never regain their softness after having been spermed? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [June 28, 2011, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-true-that-washed-soft-towels-never-regain-their-softness-after-having-been-spermed/587099 "2011-06-28T02:53:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-true-that-washed-soft-towels-never-regain-their-softness-after-having-been-spermed/587099/21 "2011-06-28T14:50:22Z")
Ask the folks at the Green Man Pub in Wellington what they use on their bar towels: > **[Really... Horse semen?](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=614003)** > > I just don’t understand some things… ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-true-that-washed-soft-towels-never-regain-their-softness-after-having-been-spermed/587099/22 "2011-06-28T14:58:16Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > The answer lies in the thread count. Thread count? For towels? As far as I can tell (based on a quick search of the Lands End and Bed Bath and Beyond websites), thread count is not how towels are sold. Lands End does mention the number of grams per square meter for their bath towels, and they talk about what sort of cotton is used, but no mention of thread count. ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-true-that-washed-soft-towels-never-regain-their-softness-after-having-been-spermed/587099/23 "2011-06-28T15:03:15Z")
If I remember the line from \*\*Bridesmaids \*\*correctly, she was not saying that the towels can’t be used after they get semen on them, but that she is constantly finding towels that crack when you touch them. (As in, substances have dried on them and caused them to be stiff.) ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-true-that-washed-soft-towels-never-regain-their-softness-after-having-been-spermed/587099/24 "2011-06-28T15:05:18Z")
I’ll take “Questions I never thought I’d see Asked or Answered in this lifetime,” Alex. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-true-that-washed-soft-towels-never-regain-their-softness-after-having-been-spermed/587099/25 "2011-06-28T15:23:42Z")
My hair always regained its original softness after having been spermed. Based on that, I extrapolate that the towel argument is bullsperm. However, you should still always endeavor to know where your towel is. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-true-that-washed-soft-towels-never-regain-their-softness-after-having-been-spermed/587099/26 "2011-06-28T15:26:04Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > … but no mention of thread count. T’was a bit of a play on the quoted question. > [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](#): > > If I remember the line from \*\*Bridesmaids \*\*correctly, she was not saying that the towels can’t be used after they get semen on them, but that she is constantly finding towels that crack when you touch them. _“I cracked a blanket in half.”_ One of the funniest lines in a funny movie. ---
**Author:** ![3\_20\_59\_or\_bust](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/47e85d/32.png) [@3\_20\_59\_or\_bust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3_20_59_or_bust)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-true-that-washed-soft-towels-never-regain-their-softness-after-having-been-spermed/587099/27 "2011-06-28T16:31:30Z")
> [@rachelellogram](#): > > My hair always regained its original softness after having been spermed. Based on that, I extrapolate that the towel argument is bullsperm. However, you should still always endeavor to know where your towel is. And a wild Hitchhiker emerges… Well played. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-true-that-washed-soft-towels-never-regain-their-softness-after-having-been-spermed/587099/28 "2011-06-28T16:51:42Z")
> [@rachelellogram](#): > > My hair always regained its original softness after having been spermed. So far. I’d suggest taking another whack at it.😃 ETA: in the name of science. ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-true-that-washed-soft-towels-never-regain-their-softness-after-having-been-spermed/587099/29 "2011-06-29T23:17:32Z")
> [@chaoticbear](#): > > I can only vouch for white terrycloth washcloths, but I can attest that since I do laundry every couple of weeks, it has time to “set in”. They do seem to have a different texture afterwards, and often stain them yellow ☹ I’ve found this too. ---
**Author:** ![Valgard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/7feea3/32.png) [@Valgard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valgard)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-true-that-washed-soft-towels-never-regain-their-softness-after-having-been-spermed/587099/30 "2011-06-29T23:42:40Z")
> [@Leo\_Bloom](#): > > I believe this _is_ correct. > > Also, since we’re on the topic, what about silk as a target of the money shot? > > I don’t know anyone who uses silk sheets or PJs. I presume that it is permanently stained from blood emanating from a severed horse head. Perhaps the results would be similar with sperm. No, semen washes out of silk PJs. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-true-that-washed-soft-towels-never-regain-their-softness-after-having-been-spermed/587099/31 "2011-06-30T01:35:35Z")
“Doing the family laundry one day, Stephanie Kwolek had a moment of inspiration that would save the lives of countless soldiers and firefighters.” ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-true-that-washed-soft-towels-never-regain-their-softness-after-having-been-spermed/587099/32 "2011-06-30T01:53:39Z")
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > “Doing the family laundry one day, Stephanie Kwolek had a moment of inspiration that would save the lives of countless soldiers and firefighters.” “Doing the family laundry one day, Bette Nesmith Graham had a moment of inspiration that would save time for countless secretaries and writers.” ---
**Author:** ![ZenBeam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3ab097/32.png) [@ZenBeam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZenBeam)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-true-that-washed-soft-towels-never-regain-their-softness-after-having-been-spermed/587099/33 "2011-06-30T02:48:51Z")
> [@Alley\_Dweller](#): > > Don’t towels always lose a bit of their fluffiness after each wash, regardless of how you got them dirty? Any towel washing tips to help them retain that original fluffiness? **No fabric softener**. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-true-that-washed-soft-towels-never-regain-their-softness-after-having-been-spermed/587099/34 "2011-06-30T03:09:00Z")
> [@Alley\_Dweller](#): > > Don’t towels always lose a bit of their fluffiness after each wash, regardless of how you got them dirty? Any towel washing tips to help them retain that original fluffiness? Nope. It’s not the washing, the detergent, the fabric softener, the water or the machines. It’s simply the fabric, the way the thread is spun and what it’s spun out of and the coatings on the fabric and their durability. In other words, it’s not you, it’s the towels. I have several sets of towels, different brands, which I got at the same time 2 years ago. They get used and washed the same amount, in the same loads with the same machine, detergent and fabric softener, all in Chicago’s hard water. One set is now meh, and one looks like you just took it off the shelf. Doesn’t seem to be cost dependent either, at least past a certain point. The ones that look new came from Target; the ones that look meh came from Bed, Bath and Beyond and cost twice as much. And yet a third set that looks like it’s been to hell and back, but was the cheapest set, came from Wal-Mart. The tags on the best ones say “Microcotton” and then “Thomas O’Brien”, if you’re interested. But since I have no idea how consistent their specs are, or if they’ve changed since I got mine two years ago, I can’t guarantee other towels by them will stand up as well as mine have. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-true-that-washed-soft-towels-never-regain-their-softness-after-having-been-spermed/587099/35 "2011-06-30T03:11:36Z")
My guess would be that towels would stay fluffier longer if you air-dried them instead of machine-drying them. I know that there’s always a good-sized pile of lint after every dryer load. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-true-that-washed-soft-towels-never-regain-their-softness-after-having-been-spermed/587099/36 "2011-06-30T03:47:36Z")
Yeah, but line-dried towels are stiff as boards and nobody wants that. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-true-that-washed-soft-towels-never-regain-their-softness-after-having-been-spermed/587099/37 "2011-06-30T03:54:15Z")
The best towels are old towels, well used & most of the lint washed out of them, fluffed in a dryer, with no fabric softener. Sperm optional. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-true-that-washed-soft-towels-never-regain-their-softness-after-having-been-spermed/587099/38 "2011-06-30T03:54:30Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > Yeah, but line-dried towels are stiff as boards and nobody wants that. I know. That’s why I’m willing to sacrifice a little fluffiness so that I can have machine-dried towels. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-true-that-washed-soft-towels-never-regain-their-softness-after-having-been-spermed/587099/39 "2011-06-30T03:59:23Z")
> [@Alley\_Dweller](#): > > Don’t towels always lose a bit of their fluffiness after each wash, regardless of how you got them dirty? Any towel washing tips to help them retain that original fluffiness? > > I suspect that the original statement is a metaphor for how a relationship loses its luster after sex becomes involved. Actually there are some towels that get fluffier after washing. They sort of continue to get softer and fluffier for awhile, then they fall apart. I have a set of these. I think I got them at Target. When they were new, everybody in the family complained that fluff got all over them when they tried to dry off, but after a couple of washings whatever that was (fake fluff?) disappeared. I was really trying hard for a fluffer joke here, but I guess not hard enough. ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-true-that-washed-soft-towels-never-regain-their-softness-after-having-been-spermed/587099/40 "2011-06-30T04:28:27Z")
> [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](#): > > not hard enough. That’s what the fluffer’s for. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-true-that-washed-soft-towels-never-regain-their-softness-after-having-been-spermed/587099.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-true-that-washed-soft-towels-never-regain-their-softness-after-having-been-spermed/587099.md?page=3)