# Is it unethical for a gay entertainer to lie about their sexuality to sell stuff? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [September 19, 2006, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-unethical-for-a-gay-entertainer-to-lie-about-their-sexuality-to-sell-stuff/373314 "2006-09-19T19:15:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 4\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2006, 7:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-unethical-for-a-gay-entertainer-to-lie-about-their-sexuality-to-sell-stuff/373314/61 "2006-09-22T07:48:48Z")
[QUOTE=you with the face] I don’t think “lying by omission” is unethical, and this is precisely why I used the word heroic to describe those who choose not to pass. [/quote] I know, which is why I was talking about deliberately lying about your sexuality. > [@](#): > > As I stated, it would only be unethical if you actively lied about who you are, but only because by lying you’re actually validating the stigma you’re running away from. How does lying validate the stigma in any way that being evasive about it does not? Both send the message that being gay is something you don’t want people to know about, that it’s something shameful. It’s just a different way of hiding it. > [@Wee Bairn](#): > > A case of it being wrong and misleading is what Grossie O’Donnell did- acting like she has the hots for Tom Cruise or George Clooney or whoever, to trick the Christian housewives who made up her core audience into thinking she was straight so they would keep watching, and keep lining her fat pockets. She wisely abandoned the solo show for a ensemble cast so that if you don’t like her gayness, you may still watch for the other hosts. That’s super for you. But just in the interest of fighting ignorance, Rosie being gay doesn’t mean that she was lying about having a crush on Tom Cruise. Lots of gay people have “celebrity crushes.” My boyfriend calls Rachael Ray “his imaginary girlfriend.” If he somehow got her into bed, he wouldn’t have a clue what to do with her, but he still crushes on her everytime he turns on the Food Network. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2006, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-unethical-for-a-gay-entertainer-to-lie-about-their-sexuality-to-sell-stuff/373314/62 "2006-09-22T12:44:56Z")
[QUOTE=Miller] That’s super for you. But just in the interest of fighting ignorance, Rosie being gay doesn’t mean that she was lying about having a crush on Tom Cruise. Lots of gay people have “celebrity crushes.” My boyfriend calls Rachael Ray “his imaginary girlfriend.” If he somehow got her into bed, he wouldn’t have a clue what to do with her, but he still crushes on her everytime he turns on the Food Network. [/QUOTE] And vice-versa. I have a crush Carla Gugino, despite being pretty darned straight. ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2006, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-unethical-for-a-gay-entertainer-to-lie-about-their-sexuality-to-sell-stuff/373314/63 "2006-09-22T13:13:52Z")
[QUOTE=Miller] How does lying validate the stigma in any way that being evasive about it does not? Both send the message that being gay is something you don’t want people to know about, that it’s something shameful. It’s just a different way of hiding it. [/quote] I disagree. If the direct question (“Are you gay?” “Is this your boyfriend?”) is never raised, then you’re not evading anything by withholding personal information about yourself. If the question is raised and you don’t answer it or you deliberately give a answer that is open to interpretation, then you’re not validating this intrusion into your personal space by dignifying it with a sincere response; you’re implicitly making a statement which says “I don’t care if you think I’m gay. If I am, that’s my business. If I’m not, that’s my business, too.” In other words, you’re telling the questioner to go bleep themselves by not giving into their demands, which is the right thing to do if you think the question is loaded and unfair. And you’re still being honest. Lying, in my opinion, is different because you’re caving into pressures to conform. You’re validating the stigma associated with being different by telling the world what you think they want to hear. “Is this your boyfriend?” If he really _is_ your boyfriend and you deny it, then your actions say that there is something wrong with having a boyfriend. That makes it that much harder for the next person confronted with that question to be honest. All of this is my opinion, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2006, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-unethical-for-a-gay-entertainer-to-lie-about-their-sexuality-to-sell-stuff/373314/64 "2006-09-22T15:16:52Z")
[QUOTE=lissener] What pittable, ivory-tower bullshit. _Why do they clamor for bread? Let them eat cake!_ Have you ever been gay-bashed? Have you ever been a member of a minority that the majority of your society would turn a blind eye to, or more likely look on in gleeful fascination, if you \*were \*bashed? What a luxury it is, to speak from a perspective where all lies are alike, and all truths carry the same consequence. Do you even think, to yourself, that you have any idea what you’re talking about? [/QUOTE] Irrelevent. I have been physically assaulted more than once for nothing more than being gay but that does not change my belief that it is wrong to lie. As **Irishgirl** says, if you feel you must, then fudge, hedge or avoid the issue as you choose but outright lying is not ethical. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-unethical-for-a-gay-entertainer-to-lie-about-their-sexuality-to-sell-stuff/373314.md?page=3)