# Is it unprofessional for a man to request a female massage therapist? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 13, 2014, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-unprofessional-for-a-man-to-request-a-female-massage-therapist/681281 "2014-02-13T20:47:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2014, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-unprofessional-for-a-man-to-request-a-female-massage-therapist/681281/1 "2014-02-13T20:47:44Z")
My back has been killing me lately and I am in need of a massage. Is it a no-no to request a female? I hope you’ll take me at my word when I say I’m not looking for a “happy ending” or anything shady like that, I’d just really prefer a female therapist. (I’m not at all concerned with would be therapists looks for what that’s worth.) And yes, I know this speaks volumes about my own insecurities. I get that. Look down on me if you must. ---
**Author:** ![USCDiver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/uscdiver/32/354_2.png) [@USCDiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/USCDiver)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2014, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-unprofessional-for-a-man-to-request-a-female-massage-therapist/681281/2 "2014-02-13T20:51:30Z")
No. ---
**Author:** ![cormac262](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f14d63/32.png) [@cormac262](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cormac262)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2014, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-unprofessional-for-a-man-to-request-a-female-massage-therapist/681281/3 "2014-02-13T20:57:27Z")
No, and most massage parlors seem to assume that the men would prefer a woman masseuse even if you don’t ask for one. They recognize that culturally most (american) men don’t want a man massaging them. Women, however, don’t seem to have any problem with women giving them a massage. ---
**Author:** ![Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/848f3c/32.png) [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuzzy_Dunlop)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2014, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-unprofessional-for-a-man-to-request-a-female-massage-therapist/681281/4 "2014-02-13T21:05:02Z")
No. It’s a shame for male massage therapists, who have similar difficulty finding women clients who’re comfortable being massaged by a man. It’s so common nobody will think you want any funny business with your massage therapist. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2014, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-unprofessional-for-a-man-to-request-a-female-massage-therapist/681281/5 "2014-02-13T21:12:05Z")
I have never had a massage therapist that was male so I don’t think they will bat an eye. I almost asked for a male therapist once because the women I kept getting were too small and their hands weren’t strong enough to massage hard enough to help the knots that I had. I fixed that by finding a bigger, stronger woman though. ---
**Author:** ![Tully\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7ab992/32.png) [@Tully\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tully_Mars)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2014, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-unprofessional-for-a-man-to-request-a-female-massage-therapist/681281/6 "2014-02-13T22:16:27Z")
**Shakes** , if you’re looking for a strong-handed deep tissue therapist and don’t mind driving to Euless, I’ve got a recommendation for you. She’s kept my sciatica at bay for four years. If you’re interested, PM me. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2014, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-unprofessional-for-a-man-to-request-a-female-massage-therapist/681281/7 "2014-02-13T23:07:56Z")
LOL. I’m such a dolt. I just went to Backpage thinking I could find a legitimate therapist. Boy was I wrong! :smack: [Thanks for the offer Tully Mars. I think I’m just going to stick close to home.] ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2014, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-unprofessional-for-a-man-to-request-a-female-massage-therapist/681281/8 "2014-02-13T23:08:10Z")
> [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](#): > > No. It’s a shame for male massage therapists, who have similar difficulty finding women clients who’re comfortable being massaged by a man. It’s so common nobody will think you want any funny business with your massage therapist. [This movie with Mimi Rogers didn’t help.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Full_Body_Massage) but they were real _and_ spectacular. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-unprofessional-for-a-man-to-request-a-female-massage-therapist/681281/9 "2014-02-14T00:31:52Z")
My sister is a LCMT, and so is my SIL, and the answer is no. If you would rather have it done by a woman, they understand perfectly well why you would make a request like that, and will accommodate it. Hey, you’d be surprised how many women prefer a male gynecologist. p.s. Part of their training involves what to do if a customer requests anything sexual. In short, they must end the session immediately, tell the customer that they must get dressed and leave or the police will be called, and ban the customer forever. There is no tolerance for any “funny stuff”. ---
**Author:** ![snowthx](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowthx/32/10660_2.png) [@snowthx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowthx)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-unprofessional-for-a-man-to-request-a-female-massage-therapist/681281/10 "2014-02-14T00:32:49Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > I have never had a massage therapist that was male so I don’t think they will bat an eye. I almost asked for a male therapist once because the women I kept getting were too small and their hands weren’t strong enough to massage hard enough to help the knots that I had. I fixed that by finding a bigger, stronger woman though. This has been my experience as well. I have had both, and the men have been able to get deeper into my muscles than the women. Wait, that sounds so wrong! Anyway, **Shakes** , I don’t think it is unprofessional to request a female if that is what you want. You are the paying customer; just own it and be clear and don’t waffle about it. The reasons for your request are your own (ya perv!) 😛 ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-unprofessional-for-a-man-to-request-a-female-massage-therapist/681281/11 "2014-02-14T00:54:17Z")
> [@astro](#): > > [This movie with Mimi Rogers didn’t help.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Full_Body_Massage) but they were real _and_ spectacular. Verily. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-unprofessional-for-a-man-to-request-a-female-massage-therapist/681281/12 "2014-02-14T01:12:35Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > I have never had a massage therapist that was male so I don’t think they will bat an eye. I almost asked for a male therapist once because the women I kept getting were too small and their hands weren’t strong enough to massage hard enough to help the knots that I had. I fixed that by finding a bigger, stronger woman though. Yeah, I’ve had a hard time finding a massage therapist with the strength to accomplish what I sought. And like you, I eventually found an exceptionally strong woman. ---
**Author:** ![gracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8e7dd6/32.png) [@gracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gracer)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-unprofessional-for-a-man-to-request-a-female-massage-therapist/681281/13 "2014-02-14T01:15:19Z")
If you are a professional massage-getter then I do think it’s rather unprofessional. 😛 But perhaps you could advise me on this career path? ---
**Author:** ![Randolph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Randolph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Randolph)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-unprofessional-for-a-man-to-request-a-female-massage-therapist/681281/14 "2014-02-14T01:39:44Z")
> [@cormac262](#): > > Women, however, don’t seem to have any problem with women giving them a massage. Most men wouldn’t have a problem with that, either. In fact, _ **…wait…** _ new brain pictures… **arriving** … _must investigate_… ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-unprofessional-for-a-man-to-request-a-female-massage-therapist/681281/15 "2014-02-14T18:09:45Z")
I’m a woman, and prefer a male masseur. I’ve found women’s hands to be too small and pointy; they dig too painfully into my skin. I want a man’s broad hands, well padded with muscle, to get the job done. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-unprofessional-for-a-man-to-request-a-female-massage-therapist/681281/16 "2014-02-14T18:23:53Z")
I’ve had about 10 massages in my life (whenever my wife and I take our 1x/year vacation away from the kids) and wherever I’ve gotten one, the front desk has always asked if I had a preference. I always ask for a woman and nobody bats an eye. Except my wife, who sort of rolls her eyes and teases me. Of course, I tease her right back because she also always requests a woman. The last time I had one there were no women available so I had a guy. It was fine, and I was pleased to discover that unlike George Costanza, it didn’t move. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-unprofessional-for-a-man-to-request-a-female-massage-therapist/681281/17 "2014-02-14T18:33:40Z")
I get a lot of massages. The best I ever had was a male tech, who taught massage and whose wife was a Chiro. But , generally, I prefer female techs as some dudes get way too hard and I come out bruised. So yeah, given a choice, I pick female. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-unprofessional-for-a-man-to-request-a-female-massage-therapist/681281/18 "2014-02-14T18:43:32Z")
They will likely ask you unless they don’t have a selection. Lot of people have hang ups who aren’t creeps expecting happy endings. So you are fine and don’t worry about it. I always state no preference and I get both men and women, but let’s face it, I like to be touched by a woman more, even if it isn’t a turn on. It makes me feel less like Moe Sizlak.