# Is it weird that I don't want to share this board with my SO? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 20, 2015, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-weird-that-i-dont-want-to-share-this-board-with-my-so/740929 "2015-12-20T17:10:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2015, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-weird-that-i-dont-want-to-share-this-board-with-my-so/740929/21 "2015-12-21T19:41:52Z")
> [@Oly](#): > > You don’t need to feel guilty, Honey. I’ve known about it all along. (Ha! You never figured out that I dope, too!) As long as you put the toilet seat down, it’s all good.😃 LOL. This is hilarious because we just had the toilet seat conversation the very day I posted my OP.😃 (In my defense, I normally leave it down, but this day we were about thee or four glasses of wine in.) ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2015, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-weird-that-i-dont-want-to-share-this-board-with-my-so/740929/22 "2015-12-21T19:51:03Z")
Even though I’m unlike most of the posters here, as both my wife and I are frequent posters, I don’t think it’s weird for someone to want to have their private internet space. I’d say that if feel like you need to actively work to keep the existence of the board from your SO, then maybe there’s a different problem there (a lack of respect for personal space, maybe?). But I certainly don’t think you’re obligated to bring her up to speed on your Dope participation. ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2015, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-weird-that-i-dont-want-to-share-this-board-with-my-so/740929/23 "2015-12-21T19:53:04Z")
Fair question, though … how do you **KNOW** she doesn’t post here? My wife, the lovely and talented **Aries28** , used to post her regularly, and still checks the boards once in a blue moon. Some of the best threads I started involved her as an active participant. It can be a lot of fun. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2015, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-weird-that-i-dont-want-to-share-this-board-with-my-so/740929/24 "2015-12-21T20:01:05Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > I don’t keep the SDMB secret from my husband, and occasionally share some of it with him. But he couldn’t care less about being here himself. Mine too, thank heavens. And I know he’s not reading my posts in secret or he’d be pissed by now. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2015, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-weird-that-i-dont-want-to-share-this-board-with-my-so/740929/25 "2015-12-21T20:59:09Z")
> [@Sauron](#): > > Fair question, though … how do you **KNOW** she doesn’t post here? Well, No one can really _know_ for sure. I just know her personality. Also, I have a lot more free time to waste than she does. Her schedule is filled with things she needs to do. So when she does get free time, she doesn’t typically waste it on the internets like her slouch of a BF does.😛 That said though, she does spend a little time on Facebook, and she belongs to a FB group that is dedicated to a band that she adores. If I understand correctly, that group will talk about anything under the sun much like this board does, it’s just that the main focus tends to be about the band and all things music. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2015, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-weird-that-i-dont-want-to-share-this-board-with-my-so/740929/26 "2015-12-22T00:09:52Z")
> [@enipla](#): > > Same here with my wife. Though she will occasionally ask me “Why don’t you see if the Straight Dope has any info on it”. This. She has on occasion posted here, but generally regards it as “Hubby’s space” and doesn’t bother. She’ll go to Dopefests though. ---
**Author:** ![SpyOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@SpyOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpyOne)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2015, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-weird-that-i-dont-want-to-share-this-board-with-my-so/740929/27 "2015-12-22T14:22:24Z")
I don’t think it is weird at all. From what you said, it isn’t really like the “Water Buffalo Lodge”: it isn’t that you want a place to talk about things where your SO can’t overhear. It is that, in the past, you have shared thoughts and feelings with the community here _specifically because_ they couldn’t be traced back to your IRL persona. We all do it. Your SO has probably said things about members of her family that she would be aghast if you repeated them in front of that person. Well, this place is an _archive_ of those kinds of things. Your twinge of guilt is because … Well, Wilma knew where Fred was going on Lodge nights. While you would not like to share the _contents_ of your 15 years of posting here, you feel like keeping its very existence secret is something you never intended to do. You think maybe you’ve reached the point in your relationship where she ought to know about us. I haven’t really got any advice on how to handle that. Anybody who knows me well could guess my username here. Most people who know me that well know I post here. Some of them I even encourage to join here, should the be interested. In my opinion, none of them would search the archives for posts made by me looking for personal stuff. If, in your opinion, your SO won’t go snooping in the archive for posts you made about old girlfriends (or whatever), you might tell her about us. You might read her some amusing stories from here. Ease gently into the part where you explain that there are a bunch of strangers who really mean a lot to you, oddly enough **because** they are people you have never met. And that sometimes you would talk with them about stuff that you still aren’t ready to talk about with someone you see every day. ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2015, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-weird-that-i-dont-want-to-share-this-board-with-my-so/740929/28 "2015-12-22T15:25:35Z")
Just admit it. You don’t want to tell her about us because you’re ashamed of us. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2015, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-weird-that-i-dont-want-to-share-this-board-with-my-so/740929/29 "2015-12-22T20:56:26Z")
> [@Grrr](#): > > Still though, I do feel a tinge of guilt. As you should. You’re practically cheating on her. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2015, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-weird-that-i-dont-want-to-share-this-board-with-my-so/740929/30 "2015-12-23T22:51:53Z")
My wife was here long before I joined. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-weird-that-i-dont-want-to-share-this-board-with-my-so/740929.md?page=1)