# Is it wrong to ask your kid to get you a beer from the fridge? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 2, 2003, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-ask-your-kid-to-get-you-a-beer-from-the-fridge/165933 "2003-04-02T11:21:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-ask-your-kid-to-get-you-a-beer-from-the-fridge/165933/21 "2003-04-02T16:02:32Z")
When you start draping a towel over his arm and demanding the menu, then it’s a problem. ---
**Author:** ![Spiff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiff/32/9852_2.png) [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-ask-your-kid-to-get-you-a-beer-from-the-fridge/165933/22 "2003-04-02T16:11:36Z")
Can your four-year-old son read beer labels well enough to prevent him from accidentally bringing you back a \ **lite** beer? If you’re not willing to accept the possibility of this horrible outcome, then I’d say it’s a bad idea. ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-ask-your-kid-to-get-you-a-beer-from-the-fridge/165933/23 "2003-04-02T16:12:22Z")
Do it yourself. I only think it’s wrong because it suggests you’re too lazy to get your own beer. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-ask-your-kid-to-get-you-a-beer-from-the-fridge/165933/24 "2003-04-02T17:42:02Z")
Nothing wrong with it; I was a “beer-fetcher” all the time as a kid. As long as you say “please” and “thank you”, you’re teaching good manners, as well. ---
**Author:** ![lost4life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@lost4life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lost4life)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-ask-your-kid-to-get-you-a-beer-from-the-fridge/165933/25 "2003-04-02T17:47:56Z")
I don’t have my kids get beer. I have no idea why, considering we have no problem drinking in front of them. Maybe it’s just some subconscious way of separating them from alcohol. I also have a keg refrigerator in my garage, and the kids would actually love to go pour some pitchers for us. Maybe somewhere I feel that they already get enough exposure… When we were kids, we always ran and got the beer. At family reunions we would actually get tips! My mom’s trick would be to yell “Quick, come here!” and I would go running into the room. She, of course, would say “could you change the channel for me.” ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-ask-your-kid-to-get-you-a-beer-from-the-fridge/165933/26 "2003-04-02T17:52:56Z")
One of my home brewing buddies has practically got his 6-year old daughter trained to be a bar waitress. When we’re over, she dresses up, gets her mom to help her style her hair, and brings us beers on a tray. She thinks she’s being glamorous, and she is. I think it’s great. ---
**Author:** ![ChuckForbin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@ChuckForbin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChuckForbin)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-ask-your-kid-to-get-you-a-beer-from-the-fridge/165933/27 "2003-04-02T18:02:56Z")
It’s a great way to teach kids responsibility. I even have a special bottle opener installed at a low enough level for my daughter to use. Patience is required, it took a while to keep her from shaking the bottle before opening it. And now that she is learning to read she no longer brings me Worchestire sauce. Life is good. ---
**Author:** ![Gundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Gundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gundy)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-ask-your-kid-to-get-you-a-beer-from-the-fridge/165933/28 "2003-04-02T18:18:15Z")
I used to fetch beers for my parents. Still do, when I’m over. When I was nine I used to mix them rum & Cokes pretty often. No big deal. I don’t have my son fetch me stuff very often. I don’t really drink beer at home, though. ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-ask-your-kid-to-get-you-a-beer-from-the-fridge/165933/29 "2003-04-02T18:19:48Z")
**Knowed Out** , that’s really cute. Does she say things like, “Your beer, sir.”? That would just be the cat’s meow! I was a beer gopher for my grandmother. No prob. I can’t wait until my munchkin is old enough to do this for me. 1) Yes, I am that lazy. 2) Having severe back problems, once I’m settled I like to stay that way for a while. My only problem is right now she in the whole “gotta drink from every container I can reach” phase, so if I turn my back for as much as three seconds, she’ll be guzzling out of my brew. The worse part is she actually _likes_ it, so hopefully over the next two years or so I can keep it away from her long enough that she forgets what it’s like. I know very well the difference between having her fetch me one and her fetching herself one!!! ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-ask-your-kid-to-get-you-a-beer-from-the-fridge/165933/30 "2003-04-02T18:31:21Z")
You know, I don’t think my parents made a pot or fixed a cup of coffee from the time I was tall enough to reach the coffee pot to the time I moved out of the house, and they used to drink coffee from the time they got up till they went to bed. (We never had alcohol in the house, so that was never an issue.) It never bothered me in the least to get stuff for people, unless they were much closer to whatever it was they were wanting than I was. I do recall wishing that Dad wouldn’t do that annoying pretend-the-coffee-maker’s-calling-me thing, but he thought he was being funny, so I was willing to overlook it. As far as kids not being servants, I don’t think 4 is too young to start learning that the world doesn’t revolve around you and that you have to pitch in and take care of the rest of the family sometimes. Childhood shouldn’t be an indentured servitude, by any means, but asking a kid to get something for you once in a while certainly isn’t out of line, provided the requested item isn’t dangerous. On the contrary, I think training kids to do stuff for other people from an early age is really good for them, and helps them grow into considerate, generous people. The habit of thinking of others becomes ingrained into their personality, and I can only see that as a good thing. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-ask-your-kid-to-get-you-a-beer-from-the-fridge/165933/31 "2003-04-02T19:15:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gorgon Heap \* > \*\ ***Knowed Out** , that’s really cute. Does she say things like, “Your beer, sir.”? That would just be the cat’s meow! > \*\* She probably would if we weren’t complete assholes. We keep teasing her and telling her she brought the wrong beer and then we make her go back and get us something else. ---
**Author:** ![z28in813](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a587f6/32.png) [@z28in813](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/z28in813)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-ask-your-kid-to-get-you-a-beer-from-the-fridge/165933/32 "2003-04-02T19:22:46Z")
No kids of my own, but my friends’ child she is about 3 or so now. She is highly social, around a bunch of us all the time. She can carry a conversation, knows what being good means, understands when her elders tell her she is done griping and moaning. All around good kid. And this all stemmed from when she was younger getting us things from the fridge, throwing away things for us. Use her as a servant, sure they need to pull their own weight around every now and again. But every time there is a please and thank you. This has taught her well, if she wants something she knows what to say and she gets it. It is a two way street and she understands that and doesn’t put up a fuss. She just loves to interact with everyone and the more she can the happier she is. And I can’t get the kid to drink a beer with her uncle. Oh well may be when she is older she will learn of some of the finer things in life. ---
**Author:** ![Earthworm\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f07891/32.png) [@Earthworm\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earthworm_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-ask-your-kid-to-get-you-a-beer-from-the-fridge/165933/33 "2003-04-02T19:22:50Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Kn_ckers \* > \*\*it suggests you’re too lazy to get your own beer. \*\* The problem being what, now? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Loneraven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c0e974/32.png) [@Loneraven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loneraven)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-ask-your-kid-to-get-you-a-beer-from-the-fridge/165933/34 "2003-04-02T19:26:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by peepthis \* > \*\*I also used to make a gin & tonic every night for my mom too \*\* I do this. Don’t think there’s any objection to this, **SHAKES**. Do you think your girlfriend would have thought it wrong if you’d asked your kid to get you some orange juice? ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-ask-your-kid-to-get-you-a-beer-from-the-fridge/165933/35 "2003-04-02T20:22:05Z")
Well, since she told him that > [@](#): > > all she would say is “little kids shouldn’t be handling beer!” I’d guess that asking the kid for orange juice (assuming it was equally easy for the chld to bring) would have been fine. ---
**Author:** ![lovelyluka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f475e1/32.png) [@lovelyluka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lovelyluka)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-ask-your-kid-to-get-you-a-beer-from-the-fridge/165933/36 "2003-04-02T20:35:02Z")
I don’t think the issue is the beer, I just think it’s annoying when a parent isn’t doing anything but sitting and tells the kid to go get something. This is, of course, coming from someone whose father would call for anyone in the house to come into the den to hand him the remote. :smack: Told myself then and still tell myself now…“I will not ask my child to fetch things when I can myself.” Now, just check up on me when I have kids… ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-ask-your-kid-to-get-you-a-beer-from-the-fridge/165933/37 "2003-04-02T20:38:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tlw \* > \*\*Your phrasing, saying that he was “over,” would indicate that you do not have full custody of the child. Were I you, I’d give long thought to the whole picture you’ve presented here. Why were you sitting around with the girlfriend, quaffing beers and having the kid act as a junior manservant instead of spending your limited time together doing something that would benefit him? \*\* Harsh, man. I don’t see a problem with it but I don’t think I’d do it. My hubby, I’m sure, would do it in a heartbeat, though. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-ask-your-kid-to-get-you-a-beer-from-the-fridge/165933/38 "2003-04-02T22:23:24Z")
My mom used to do this to me even when I was…heck, she still does it to me at 29 once in awhile. (not beer and fridge, but things like running into a store for something.) Since she has reformed all the other things I’ve complained to her about I will let this one go. And am I the only one here who is continuously misreading the word “fetching”? :o :o :o :o ---
**Author:** ![Brutus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Brutus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brutus)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-ask-your-kid-to-get-you-a-beer-from-the-fridge/165933/39 "2003-04-02T22:37:53Z")
I can’t believe some of the callous attitudes here! Of course it is wrong to ask a kid to get you a beer (or any other alcholic beverage). Little tykes should see your empty drink and fetch another, unprompted… ---
**Author:** ![Xema](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9de053/32.png) [@Xema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xema)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-ask-your-kid-to-get-you-a-beer-from-the-fridge/165933/40 "2003-04-02T23:18:14Z")
I’d say it’s wrong to ask your kid to do you a favor if you don’t reciprocate. If, however, you occasionally do him favors (like, say, provide food, shelter and clothing) then it’s wrong not to invite him to participate in the general give-and-take that we call real life. I know more than a few families in which the kids do as little as possible, and the parents fall in with this scheme. Neither the parents, the kids, nor outsiders seem to benefit much from this arrangement. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-ask-your-kid-to-get-you-a-beer-from-the-fridge/165933.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-ask-your-kid-to-get-you-a-beer-from-the-fridge/165933.md?page=3)