# Is it wrong to have sexual or relationship preferences based on race? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [June 2, 2016, 9:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-have-sexual-or-relationship-preferences-based-on-race/756295 "2016-06-02T09:04:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2016, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-have-sexual-or-relationship-preferences-based-on-race/756295/141 "2016-06-06T22:44:53Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > I think this was covered in a handful of posts. I agree with **Manda JO** that (for example) if someone is attracted to a person when they meet them, assuming that they’re Hispanic or Mediterranean, but changes their mind and is no longer attracted when they discover that the person is a light-skinned black person, then that response is racist. But isn’t being attracted to Hispanics or Mediterraneans “racist” in the first place? ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2016, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-have-sexual-or-relationship-preferences-based-on-race/756295/142 "2016-06-06T22:45:57Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > Epicanthic folds. Duh. 😃 Epicanthic folds are HAWT. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2016, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-have-sexual-or-relationship-preferences-based-on-race/756295/143 "2016-06-06T22:48:30Z")
> [@lance\_strongarm](#): > > But isn’t being attracted to Hispanics or Mediterraneans “racist” in the first place? ??? So people who are attracted to Salma Hayek are racist? ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2016, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-have-sexual-or-relationship-preferences-based-on-race/756295/144 "2016-06-06T23:40:25Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > ??? > > So people who are attracted to Salma Hayek are racist? If they prefer Salma Hayek over whiter-skinned women. That’s a racial preference, isn’t it? Is that “racist?” That’s the question of this thread. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2016, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-have-sexual-or-relationship-preferences-based-on-race/756295/145 "2016-06-07T00:02:14Z")
> [@lance\_strongarm](#): > > If they prefer Salma Hayek over whiter-skinned women. That’s a racial preference, isn’t it? Is that “racist?” That’s the question of this thread. No. Salma Hayek is not a race, first of all. And second of all, she’s white in the most common usage of that word. ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2016, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-have-sexual-or-relationship-preferences-based-on-race/756295/146 "2016-06-07T00:11:29Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > No. Salma Hayek is not a race, first of all. And second of all, she’s white in the most common usage of that word. Never mind, you’re getting bogged down in details. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2016, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-have-sexual-or-relationship-preferences-based-on-race/756295/147 "2016-06-07T10:03:21Z")
> [@lance\_strongarm](#): > > If they prefer Salma Hayek over whiter-skinned women. That’s a racial preference, isn’t it? Is that “racist?” That’s the question of this thread. This is different than what you said before (you said ‘isn’t being attracted to Hispanics or Mediterraneans “racist”’, not anything about preferences of one over the other)… but also no, preferring Salma Hayek over other women (or even darker skin in general over lighter skin) is not a “racial preference”, since skin color is not race. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2016, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-have-sexual-or-relationship-preferences-based-on-race/756295/148 "2016-06-07T11:04:32Z")
> [@lance\_strongarm](#): > > Epicanthic folds are HAWT. Someone has a Khoisan-only dating profile… ---
**Author:** ![Deadhead\_Dave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/838e76/32.png) [@Deadhead\_Dave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Deadhead_Dave)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2016, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-have-sexual-or-relationship-preferences-based-on-race/756295/149 "2016-06-07T20:18:11Z")
One’s choice of whom to mate with (whether the line is drawn at skin color, sex, age, height, or hair color) is neither sexist, racist, or ageist. It is simply\* instinct\*. Want an example of the way that actual racism enters the picture? Tom, a young white male I know once told me of a beautiful blond girl he had recently met at a gym. He was developing a serious case of lust for her until a friend who knew her mentioned that she had previously been in a relationship with a black man. And that was all it took for Tom to absolutely and permanently disqualify her as a potential sex partner. \*In Tom’s opinion she was disqualified not simply as a potential romantic partner but even as a candidate for a quickie, so to speak. _That’s racism!_ His original attraction: instinct. ---
**Author:** ![Corry\_El](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecae2f/32.png) [@Corry\_El](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corry_El)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2016, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-have-sexual-or-relationship-preferences-based-on-race/756295/150 "2016-06-09T14:37:43Z")
> [@adaher](#): > > The Asian vs. black men thing is not contrary data, since you also run into height issues and views of what constitutes masculinity. Women seem to have a serious complex about dating men shorter than they are. Yes stereotypes\* of Asian sexual attractiveness in a predominantly non-Asian culture obviously involve factors besides skin tone, it’s questionable whether skin tone even enters in. Both also involve feelings or beliefs about how body type and cultural patterns of behavior relate to sexual attractiveness. It’s hard to even believe the posters think these are good examples to try to isolate the effect of skin tone. On the general question of skin tone, I think it’s clear this isn’t a simple relationship. In modern Western culture for example a sun tan is usually thought of as attractive (at least until the habit of getting one starts damaging the skin of most Caucasians eventually). So even the same person might be viewed as more attractive when darker. And it was a staple of the movie industry, when all leading actors where white, that the male lead should have at least a slightly darker complexion than the female lead. OTOH it’s obvious that leftover beliefs about a racial hierarchy make more Caucasian features, including skin tone, more attractive to many people. This is particularly obvious in supposedly ‘color blind’ Hispanic societies, and it’s present in US black culture to some degree, though highly controversial there. \*Another post mentioned the stereotype of disproportionate attraction of white males to Asian females. I don’t see a point in getting bogged down in the exact accuracy of either stereotype. Like most stereotypes, I believe each has a self evident element of truth, but also like most stereotypes it’s very difficult to nail down the degree of truth. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-have-sexual-or-relationship-preferences-based-on-race/756295.md?page=7)