# Is it "wrong" to prefer untouched girls? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [August 31, 2003, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-prefer-untouched-girls/198740 "2003-08-31T02:52:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Colinmarshall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cc9497/32.png) [@Colinmarshall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colinmarshall)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-prefer-untouched-girls/198740/1 "2003-08-31T02:52:54Z")
Say I meet a breathtakingly attractive girl with a stunning personality _and_ she’s interested in me. However, if I find out that she’s had _any_ previous sexual experience (intercourse or otherwise), she instantly drops from my radar. I, literally, have never been able to “get it up” for what I have come to refer to as “used women,” and nobody I’ve ever dated has been in any way “used” before I came into the picture. Many of my friends think that this preference of mine is a hallmark of assholishness and possibly the tip of an iceberg in a personal campaign to reverse decades of Women’s Lib. I think it’s just selectivity, as much as any man who likes, say, asian girls or women with British accents. Who’s right? ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-prefer-untouched-girls/198740/2 "2003-08-31T03:02:19Z")
It’s not assholish. It’s unrealistic. At some point in your life, you’re going to discovera dearth of untouched women. It will only get worse as you age, and more and more women have had some sexual experience (I don’t know what your criteria for “otherwise” are, though). At best, you’ll marry some girl you meet nowadays and live happily ever after. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-prefer-untouched-girls/198740/3 "2003-08-31T03:11:28Z")
I don’t know if it’s being an asshole, exactly. But it’s definitely being a hypocrite-are you “untouched”? ---
**Author:** ![Reeder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Reeder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reeder)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-prefer-untouched-girls/198740/4 "2003-08-31T03:16:49Z")
I myself…much prefer experience. Who wants to waste time teaching? ---
**Author:** ![RedFury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ec9cab/32.png) [@RedFury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedFury)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-prefer-untouched-girls/198740/5 "2003-08-31T03:24:18Z")
I think it shows a tremendous amount of insecurity on your part. I’ll let you figure out why. ---
**Author:** ![Blalron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-prefer-untouched-girls/198740/6 "2003-08-31T03:24:22Z")
The attitude that women with any sexual experience are somehow “damaged goods” strikes me as being somewhat sexist, considering that I seldom hear about women who demand men be virginal. Seems kind of like a double standard. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-prefer-untouched-girls/198740/7 "2003-08-31T03:25:58Z")
I’m fairly immaculate myself (can’t wear white gloves at my wedding tho _L_) & I have no such preference. Is it wrong? Not necessarily. Is it unrealistic? Probably. Is it hypocritica? Yeah, if you’re not virginal yourself. ---
**Author:** ![Colinmarshall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cc9497/32.png) [@Colinmarshall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colinmarshall)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-prefer-untouched-girls/198740/8 "2003-08-31T03:32:19Z")
What’s wrong with a double standard? Let’s say I want a car with t-tops or a hamburger with avocado. \I\ myself don’t have t-tops or an avocado, but I would appreciate it if the vehicle/burger was equipped with 'em. ---
**Author:** ![Blalron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-prefer-untouched-girls/198740/9 "2003-08-31T03:43:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Colinmarshall \* > \*\*What’s wrong with a double standard? > > Let’s say I want a car with t-tops or a hamburger with avocado. \I\ myself don’t have t-tops or an avocado, but I would appreciate it if the vehicle/burger was equipped with 'em. \*\* You can’t apply the term “double standard” when you are talking about inanimate consumer goods like hamburgers and vehicles. :rolleyes: The American Heritage Dictionary defines it like this: **double standard n. A set of principles permitting greater opportunity or liberty to one than to another, especially the granting of greater sexual freedom to men than to women.** ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-prefer-untouched-girls/198740/10 "2003-08-31T03:43:44Z")
That’s not the same thing. That’s wanting something you don’t own. This is wanting a feature in a person that you don’t possess. If you, say, made your kids only eat burgers with avacado, and then didn’t have them on _your_ burgers, then that would be the same kind of situation. ---
**Author:** ![Reeder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Reeder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reeder)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-prefer-untouched-girls/198740/11 "2003-08-31T03:46:51Z")
It’s like a lot of parents say to their kids… “Don’t do as I do…do as I say do” I always hated that. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-prefer-untouched-girls/198740/12 "2003-08-31T03:46:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Colinmarshall \* > \*\*What’s wrong with a double standard? > > Let’s say I want a car with t-tops or a hamburger with avocado. \I\ myself don’t have t-tops or an avocado, but I would appreciate it if the vehicle/burger was equipped with 'em. \*\* Because the car and the hamburger are not people, and the girl is. Let me repeat that for emphasis: _ **She is a human being with feelings similar to your own** _. Personally, based solely on what I’ve seen in this thread, if I knew you IRL, I’d make a point to warn any girl who seemed at all interested that you’re bad news. Because based on what you’re saying, you care nothing for the person, only for what you can get – and it’d better be “untouched merchandise.” Bleeeah! :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Squink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@Squink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squink)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-prefer-untouched-girls/198740/13 "2003-08-31T03:55:14Z")
By objectifying a woman in the same way as you do a car or a burger, you are likely to limit your sexual experiences to a series of “knee in the crotch” events, interspersed with long periods of making “friends” with your own hand. But hey, if that’s what you want… ---
**Author:** ![Zahava424](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/76d3ee/32.png) [@Zahava424](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zahava424)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-prefer-untouched-girls/198740/14 "2003-08-31T03:59:09Z")
I’m disagreeing here. I think it is just a personal preference, the way some people like blondes or dark skin. He’s not saying his doesn’t respect girls with previous experience. he’s not saying he thinks they’re bad people, impure, etc. in any way. He’s just not turned on by them. I’m not turned on by guys with red hair, as a general rule, but I don’t think any less of them. Is that a double standard? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-prefer-untouched-girls/198740/15 "2003-08-31T03:59:54Z")
What if the girl would prefer a guy who’s untouched? What then? Besides, if you touch these girls, they won’t be untouched anymore. Sheesh. ---
**Author:** ![Colinmarshall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cc9497/32.png) [@Colinmarshall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colinmarshall)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-prefer-untouched-girls/198740/16 "2003-08-31T04:02:51Z")
I’d understand if a non-virginal girl – and I’ve seen this before – wanted an untouched guy. I wouldn’t be “the one” for her, obviously, but I’d see where she’s coming from. In fact, I know plenty of “untouched guys” who want experienced girls, too. Is that a bad thing, too? ---
**Author:** ![Colinmarshall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cc9497/32.png) [@Colinmarshall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colinmarshall)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-prefer-untouched-girls/198740/17 "2003-08-31T04:03:20Z")
I’d understand if a non-virginal girl – and I’ve seen this before – wanted an untouched guy. I wouldn’t be “the one” for her, obviously, but I’d see where she’s coming from. In fact, I know plenty of “untouched guys” who want experienced girls, too. Is that a bad thing? ---
**Author:** ![Azael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a8b319/32.png) [@Azael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azael)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-prefer-untouched-girls/198740/18 "2003-08-31T04:04:52Z")
I think **RedFury** cut very close to the heart of the matter. I could see you being worried if a girl had an excessive (what exactly constitutes excessive is left as an excercise to the reader) amount of experience as that might cast some doubt on her ability to remain monogamous. This however, doesn’t sound like that. It sounds more like you are enamoured with some unrealistic conception of the virtues of so-called “sexual purity.” Maybe it helps that you can rest assured in the knowledge that you will represent the entirity of her sexual experience; it certainly might provide some illusion of control over her sexuality. There are two problems with this: 1.) She will suffer from a lack of experience and confidence that may set limits on what she is willing and/or comfortable enough to do. This may prevent her from fully enjoying the experience and may consequently affect your own enjoyment. 2.) She may be left wondering what she missed out on by limiting her sexual experience to one person. This may only ever manifest itself as idle curiousity never acted upon, it may not. Regardless, that seed of doubt will be left to grow and someday threaten your illusion of control. I think it goes without saying that there is nothing wrong with your preference so long as you hold up your own end of the bargain and keep your own “sexual purity” intact. If however you lean more towards deflowering and discarding then I think it would be safe to say that yes, you are an asshole. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-prefer-untouched-girls/198740/19 "2003-08-31T04:05:50Z")
You certainly have a right to your own preferences, but this choice will unnecessarily limit you. After you’ve “had” her, will she then be considered 'used"? Women are not condoms. I hope you don’t “get it on” with _anyone_ until you realize that she’s more than a label. ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-prefer-untouched-girls/198740/20 "2003-08-31T04:10:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zahava424 \* > \*\*I’m disagreeing here. I think it is just a personal preference, the way some people like blondes or dark skin. He’s not saying his doesn’t respect girls with previous experience. he’s not saying he thinks they’re bad people, impure, etc. in any way. He’s just not turned on by them. I’m not turned on by guys with red hair, as a general rule, but I don’t think any less of them. Is that a double standard? \*\* Maybe he didn’t intend it that way, but refering to them as “used women” is pretty disrespectful. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-prefer-untouched-girls/198740.md?page=2)