# Is it wrong to want to have hot dolphin sex? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 20, 2001, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-want-to-have-hot-dolphin-sex/50985 "2001-01-20T04:30:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![SpinneZiege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@SpinneZiege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpinneZiege)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-want-to-have-hot-dolphin-sex/50985/21 "2001-01-20T19:32:35Z")
O…M…G… W…T…F…? Someone please tell me this is a hoax. I had a thought the other day that humans might somehow be related to dolphins, after hearing a theory in New Scientist that humans got their start as swimming apes. If this guy continues his activities, I think we might have Anyone happen to have a link to the article I’m thinking of? > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Carina42 \* > \*\*Hot Dolphin Sex would be a cool band name. > \*\* We should start a band. Dopefest band anyone? I could be on sax. ---
**Author:** ![SpinneZiege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@SpinneZiege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpinneZiege)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-want-to-have-hot-dolphin-sex/50985/22 "2001-01-20T19:35:28Z")
Crap. Pressed the submit button too soon. As I was saying, I think this guy has made dolphins our second-cousins. How often do things like this happen? ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-want-to-have-hot-dolphin-sex/50985/23 "2001-01-20T19:53:42Z")
Well, with this guy, often enough for him to be able to give safety tips and how to’s! :: shudder :: ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-want-to-have-hot-dolphin-sex/50985/24 "2001-01-20T21:19:27Z")
:eek Oh how I hope this is a hoax. Dolphins are beautiful, intelligent creatures. It makes me ill to think someone is out there doing something like this to them. ::shudder:: ---
**Author:** ![Welfy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e56c9b/32.png) [@Welfy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Welfy)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-want-to-have-hot-dolphin-sex/50985/25 "2001-01-20T21:34:09Z")
So long, and thanks for all the fish! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-want-to-have-hot-dolphin-sex/50985/26 "2001-01-20T21:44:57Z")
It sounds like the dolphins LIKE it! Good lord, shouldn’t this be on Weird Earl’s or something? But…ew! I remember that episode, Zumba. ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-want-to-have-hot-dolphin-sex/50985/27 "2001-01-20T22:13:09Z")
I dunno it all sounds kinda fishy to me. ---
**Author:** ![snac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90db22/32.png) [@snac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snac)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-want-to-have-hot-dolphin-sex/50985/28 "2001-01-20T23:57:04Z")
Sharyn McCrumb’s mystery novel If I’d Killed Him When I Met Him has a female character who wishes to legally marry a dolphin. Towards the end she strips off her clothes, gets into the pool with him, and… Highly recommend the book. One of the all-time great mystery novels, IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2001, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-want-to-have-hot-dolphin-sex/50985/29 "2001-01-21T00:32:38Z")
I am speechless. Excuse me while I go throw up now. ---
**Author:** ![KJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b2d939/32.png) [@KJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KJ)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2001, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-want-to-have-hot-dolphin-sex/50985/30 "2001-01-21T00:59:42Z")
(italic emphasis is mine): > [@](#): > > One thing to note. Whether you masturbate or mate a fin, male or female, always spend time with them afterwards. Cuddle them, rub them, _talk to them_ and most importantly, show them you love them. This is essential, as it helps to strengthen the bond between you. Like a way of saying that this wasn’t just a one-night fling. > The dolphins appreciate it, and they will want your company more the next time you visit them. Ummm. Talk to them? Yeah, that’s gonna help. “Yeah, it’s been great, honey, but I gotta go to work at the aquarium tomorrow morning. Seriously.” ---
**Author:** ![kirk280980](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c77e96/32.png) [@kirk280980](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kirk280980)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2001, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-want-to-have-hot-dolphin-sex/50985/31 "2001-01-21T02:11:06Z")
Someone sent me the link to this site a few weeks back. Although it’s not my thing, I read it all, in an effort to try and believe what this guy was talking about. I’m not usually one to judge other people, but this is sick. I’ve been lucky enough to experience close contact with these beautiful creatures, and it amazed me how affectionate and trusting they are. The thought of someone taking advantage of these qualities for their own gratification is beyond comprehension. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2001, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-want-to-have-hot-dolphin-sex/50985/32 "2001-01-21T02:13:12Z")
Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase “flogging the dolphin.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ad\_Noctum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b19c9b/32.png) [@Ad\_Noctum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ad_Noctum)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2001, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-want-to-have-hot-dolphin-sex/50985/33 "2001-01-21T02:35:06Z")
Guinastasia, you, my friend, are a very, VERY sick person… and that’s why yer one of my fav’ dopers!! but in all seriousness, this site is just creeping me out… ---
**Author:** ![KJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b2d939/32.png) [@KJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KJ)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2001, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-want-to-have-hot-dolphin-sex/50985/34 "2001-01-21T02:43:47Z")
All things considered, I’d rather have people going around talking about having sex with dolphins than talking about how to make pipe bombs and blow up a school. With that being said…sheesh, I don’t care WHAT the dolphins can do with their extra muscles, \*\*get a \*\ ***ing GIRLFRIEND!** ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2001, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-want-to-have-hot-dolphin-sex/50985/35 "2001-01-21T02:47:26Z")
First off, I think it’s pretty sick. Second, I’m pretty sure it’s real. There are sites like this all over the web, giving advice for how to have sex with various animals. People actually do this stuff. Third, I am really opposed to people forcing sex on animals… Now my point… I really don’t have a problem with this. I mean yeah, it makes me ill, but I think the dolphins in question are enjoying it. I dnn’t think they have the sexual “issues” of being “used” etc so I really don’t think there is a problem like that. ---
**Author:** ![RoboDude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bbe5ce/32.png) [@RoboDude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RoboDude)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2001, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-want-to-have-hot-dolphin-sex/50985/36 "2001-01-21T02:53:53Z")
> [@](#): > > Wasn’t there an episode of King of the Hill where a dolphin fell in love with Hank? > > Or am I just crazy? Yes, there was. From the general tone of what he wrote, it appears that he is actually interested in having mutually fulfilling relations with the dolphins and is not seeking sexual pleasure at the expense of another lifeform. But still… **EWWWWWWW** :eek: ---
**Author:** ![St.Attila](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e99b99/32.png) [@St.Attila](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/St.Attila)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2001, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-want-to-have-hot-dolphin-sex/50985/37 "2001-01-21T05:03:44Z")
\*Originally posted by **SpinneZiege** \* > [@](#): > > **I had a thought the other day that humans might somehow be related to dolphins, after hearing a theory in New Scientist that humans got their start as swimming apes.** Don’t have a link, Spinny, but the theory you’re talking about is the Aquatic Ape theory. According to the theory, we aren’t related to dolphins, but we share certain characteristics that suggest we returned to the oceans for a time, as the dolphins did (they used to be a dog-like animal). The characteristics include diver’s reflex (where our heart rate drops when we submerge in water), the webbing between our fingers and toes, and… other stuff. The characteristic I find most intriguing is the fact that we’re (mostly) hairless, yet we have a layer of subcutaneous fat. The Savannah theory holds that we lost our hair because we were running about the savannah a lot, but this doesn’t explain why humans have so much blubber (some more than others, certainly, but in general we have a lot more than other apes – compare baby chimps and baby humans); a study of aquatic mammals, on the other hand, showed that those below a certain body mass had fur (ie. otters), those above had blubber (ie. dolphins), relating to the effectiveness of blubber and fur as insulators. We would fall into the blubber group. It’s an interesting theory, one that Desmond Morris has mentioned on one of his shows, but apparently it’s not very popular. I don’t know why. Anyone who has seen water babies would not find this theory hard to believe. ---
**Author:** ![St.Attila](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e99b99/32.png) [@St.Attila](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/St.Attila)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2001, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-want-to-have-hot-dolphin-sex/50985/38 "2001-01-21T08:19:52Z")
Whoops, sorry for the hijack. Now, back to your regularly scheduled dolphin sex… ---
**Author:** ![KJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b2d939/32.png) [@KJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KJ)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2001, 9:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-want-to-have-hot-dolphin-sex/50985/39 "2001-01-21T09:20:01Z")
Do I think the site is disgusting? Yes. I’d rather not know about how a male dolphin’s penis is shaped, and why not to have anal sex with a dolphin. Do I think the person has a bad intent? No. They even try to point out the difference between getting an animal to willingly have sex with a person (…) and “raping” an animal. They probably aren’t harming the dolphins by _shudder_ masturbating them. Do I think animal sex should be illegal? Yes. While you could judge each, um, case, individually to determine whether or not the animal is physically or mentally harmed, there’s no way to tell for sure, because animals can’t talk. And, what are you going to do, write down a list in the law books of which animals are suitable for sex with humans? Ain’t gonna happen. Having sex with animals should just be illegal. I will admit, though, that if I were to choose any non-human animal to have sex with (hmmm, possible IMHO thread idea) it would probably be a dolphin. ---
**Author:** ![SpinneZiege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@SpinneZiege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpinneZiege)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2001, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-want-to-have-hot-dolphin-sex/50985/40 "2001-01-21T14:26:32Z")
Dolphins used to be dog-like creatures? Perhaps they were our pets at one point… (“Here, boy! Go fetch the coral! Good, Flipper. Here, have some tuna…”) If you think the Aquatic Ape theory isn’t popular, just look at the Theory of Evolution in the state of Kansas and you’ll understand both of the predicaments. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-want-to-have-hot-dolphin-sex/50985.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-it-wrong-to-want-to-have-hot-dolphin-sex/50985.md?page=3)