# Is JK Rowling transphobic? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [December 19, 2019, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-jk-rowling-transphobic/845105 "2019-12-19T19:47:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2019, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-jk-rowling-transphobic/845105/121 "2019-12-20T23:24:04Z")
> [@Banquet\_Bear](#): > > There are only a handful of indigenous voices on these boards. It is really hard to discuss indigenous matters here because people like you shout-us-down and pretend you were just being “tongue in cheek.” You are simply not stating facts and are deliberately misrepresenting what others are saying. ---
**Author:** ![Banquet\_Bear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/banquet_bear/32/373_2.png) [@Banquet\_Bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banquet_Bear)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2019, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-jk-rowling-transphobic/845105/122 "2019-12-20T23:30:47Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > You are simply not stating facts and are deliberately misrepresenting what others are saying. …I’m telling you **how I felt**. I’m not misrepresnting **how you made me feel.** ---
**Author:** ![GreysonCarlisle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a87d85/32.png) [@GreysonCarlisle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreysonCarlisle)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2019, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-jk-rowling-transphobic/845105/123 "2019-12-21T00:08:33Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > Well, the easy one to pick on is: > > "Toronto Public Library allows for denying a booking to a group “promoting discrimination, contempt or hatred for any group or person on the basis of […] sex, gender identity, gender expression”… Their deliberate choice not to invoke this clause implies strongly that TPL and Toronto’s City Librarian Vickery Bowles tacitly approve of transphobia. Fair enough. I’ll cede that RationalWiki might not be a very good cite. I had assumed that it was something like Talk Origins. Nevertheless, if you’d read more on the case, you would have discovered Meghan Murphy, who is exactly one of those TERFs you claimed do not exist. From Wikipedia: > [@](#): > > Her writing, speeches, and talks have criticized third-wave feminism, male feminists, the sex industry, exploitation of women in mass media, censoring, and transgender rights legislation. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2019, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-jk-rowling-transphobic/845105/124 "2019-12-21T00:11:56Z")
> [@AHunter3](#): > > [TERF Wars (Part Two)](https://ahunter3.livejournal.com/62729.html) > > (warning: blog post) AHunter3. Please use words here. Linking to your blog is OK so long as you don’t do it too often. But just linking to it? Not OK. Provide an argument next time. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2019, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-jk-rowling-transphobic/845105/125 "2019-12-21T00:38:09Z")
> [@GreysonCarlisle](#): > > Fair enough. I’ll cede that RationalWiki might not be a very good cite. I had assumed that it was something like Talk Origins. > > Nevertheless, if you’d read more on the case, you would have discovered Meghan Murphy, who is exactly one of those TERFs you claimed do not exist. > > From Wikipedia: Or he could go to [WoLF’s own website.](https://womensliberationfront.org/) Astonishing that people who don’t actually exist can maintain a website. By the way, while I’m here, one question. How the hell does the existence of trans-people harm you, personally? What tiny difference does it make in your life–your real life, not some bizarre hypothetical–to be asked to treat a few of your fellow human beings with dignity and respect? Hell, you don’t even have to mention or discuss them at all. I mean, I’m a bog-standard cisgendered straight white dude, and the only time I ever think about these things is when I foolishly let myself get sucked into some idiotic internet “debate” like this one. Just live your own life and be polite to people, for fucks sake. Also, just so TPTB know, you’ve all driven at least one more board member off, one that I know for sure. Maybe others. This is it for me in this thread. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2019, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-jk-rowling-transphobic/845105/126 "2019-12-21T00:48:14Z")
> [@Larry\_Borgia](#): > > By the way, while I’m here, one question. How the hell does the existence of trans-people harm you, personally? It doesn’t. No one in this thread has said the existence of transgender people harms them. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2019, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-jk-rowling-transphobic/845105/127 "2019-12-21T00:55:15Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > It doesn’t. No one in this thread has said the existence of transgender people harms them. Then why be shitty to them, like J.K. Rowling is? Leave them the fuck alone. And yes, that includes threads “debating” whether they are “really women.” ---
**Author:** ![GreysonCarlisle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a87d85/32.png) [@GreysonCarlisle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreysonCarlisle)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2019, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-jk-rowling-transphobic/845105/128 "2019-12-21T00:56:13Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > It doesn’t. No one in this thread has said the existence of transgender people harms them. So you’re just misgendering and attacking them for fun? ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2019, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-jk-rowling-transphobic/845105/129 "2019-12-21T01:14:12Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > I am trying to find out where the line is between “shit” and “not shit”, though. Since you have been kind enough to engage me respectfully on this, I’ll ask you to help me. But anyone reading this is welcome to jump in. > > Let’s say there’s a brand-new sociology professor. He’s teaching Gender and Society 101. On the first day of class, he starts the lecture off by asking his class to brainstorm terms that are related to gender or sex. One of the terms that gets thrown out is “mansplaining”. > > The professor asks someone for a definition of “mansplaining”, and a couple of female students talk about their experience with it. One of the students says, “Women can be condescending too. But they tend not to show it in the same way that guys do.” > > A student in the front raises their hand. To the professor’s eye, the student appears to be a man’s man-- line-backer physique, mustache and goatee, bald head, lumberjack attire. So that’s why the professor is shocked when the student says, “I take offense to the whole concept of mansplaining. I’ve been accused of mansplaining numerous times even though I’m a woman. So if women can mansplain, the concept makes no sense. No man has ever treated me like I’m stupid anway, so I don’t get why other women get so worked up about this.” > > There’s a silence as everyone tries to process the words that were just said. And then a couple of the female students respond by questioning the validity of student’s “woman perspective”. The student says rather loudly: “Don’t start with me! I’m just as much a woman as you!” The class erupts in groans and laughter. **monstro** , when you find yourself creating bizarre hypotheticals, it’s a real good time to step back and ask yourself, _what are you doing_? Because this isn’t remotely how things actually go down in the real world. It’s not at all a good approach to dialogue. > [@Kovitlac](#): > > I mean, I’m seeing a looooot of point #2 from certain people in this thread. And not the ones you mean to accuse. Vaguebooking is profoundly uninteresting. If you actually have something to say, I encourage you to say it; this sort of “haha you made a point you didn’t mean to make” juvenalia is downright soporific. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2019, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-jk-rowling-transphobic/845105/130 "2019-12-21T02:41:28Z")
**Left Hand of Dorkness** , is that scenario really that bizarre? Are my questions really THAT crazy? I give up. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2019, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-jk-rowling-transphobic/845105/131 "2019-12-21T02:52:23Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > **Left Hand of Dorkness** , is that scenario really that bizarre? Are my questions really THAT crazy? Yeah, it’s really that bizarre. Have you ever known someone who has a moustache and a goatee and a bald head who says, “I’m just as much a woman as you”? That’s a pernicious caricature of transwomen. > [@](#): > > I give up. Type less. Read more. You’ve got some really weird assumptions on this issue, or else you wouldn’t make such bizarre scenarios. But I don’t think you’re doing it maliciously; I think you’re someone who’s persuaded by data. So read more. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2019, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-jk-rowling-transphobic/845105/132 "2019-12-21T03:19:37Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Yeah, it’s really that bizarre. Have you ever known someone who has a moustache and a goatee and a bald head who says, “I’m just as much a woman as you”? That’s a pernicious caricature of transwomen. > > Type less. Read more. You’ve got some really weird assumptions on this issue, or else you wouldn’t make such bizarre scenarios. But I don’t think you’re doing it maliciously; I think you’re someone who’s persuaded by data. So read more. I’m fortunate that someone with lots of experience with gender discourse has decided to engage me through PM. I really do hope they will be able to see through the “bizarreness” of my questions and not totally dismiss me. If they do, OK. I’ll take that as a sign that this topic isn’t for me and I just need to stay away from it. It’s weird that you’re telling me to “read more” but you aren’t telling me what to read. You’re assuming I haven’t already read a lot, haven’t tried hard enough. My posting history belies both notions, IMHO. I’ll try not to take offense at your shitty insinuations, though. Cuz I like you as a poster. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2019, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-jk-rowling-transphobic/845105/133 "2019-12-21T03:25:46Z")
> [@Larry\_Borgia](#): > > Then why be shitty to them, like J.K. Rowling is? She wasn’t. You have to do something transphobic to be transphobic. > [@GreysonCarlisle](#): > > So you’re just misgendering and attacking them for fun? Straw man nonsense doesn’t impress me. This bizarre “everyone who slightly disagrees with me is evil and I’ll accuse them of stuff that never happened” thing is irritating as hell, but perhaps worse is that there’s a legitimate discussion to be had here that’'s being tossed away by weird, over-the-top accusations. ---
**Author:** ![GreysonCarlisle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a87d85/32.png) [@GreysonCarlisle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreysonCarlisle)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2019, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-jk-rowling-transphobic/845105/134 "2019-12-21T03:37:56Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > Straw man nonsense doesn’t impress me. Then stop using it. > [@](#): > > This bizarre “everyone who slightly disagrees with me is evil and I’ll accuse them of stuff that never happened” thing is irritating as hell Strawman. Nobody’s said anything close to that. You **did** misgender and horribly insult at least one non-binary person. Don’t pretend you didn’t. > [@](#): > > but perhaps worse is that there’s a legitimate discussion to be had here that’'s being tossed away by weird, over-the-top accusations. Yeah. **My** fucking discussion that you’ve argued in with pretty much nothing but bullshit strawman arguments and unadulterated transphobic venom. If I could block you, I would block you. May do it anyway through the miracle of browser coding. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2019, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-jk-rowling-transphobic/845105/135 "2019-12-21T03:38:21Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > I’m fortunate that someone with lots of experience with gender discourse has decided to engage me through PM. I really do hope they will be able to see through the “bizarreness” of my questions and not totally dismiss me. If they do, OK. I’ll take that as a sign that this topic isn’t for me and I just need to stay away from it. > > It’s weird that you’re telling me to “read more” but you aren’t telling me what to read. You’re assuming I haven’t already read a lot, haven’t tried hard enough. My posting history belies both notions, IMHO. I’ll try not to take offense at your shitty insinuations, though. Cuz I like you as a poster. I like you as a poster, too. If you genuinely need some direction on what more to read, I’ll try to point you in some directions, but I’m no expert; I’ve just been reading previous threads and listening to what our trans members (or trans ex-members, mostly, at this point) have said. In my experience, trans women don’t groom and dress themselves to accentuate cultural masculine features like goatees and moustaches. They don’t go out of their way to whine about mansplaining or take other MRA-style positions. And they really, really don’t introduce their gender by saying “Don’t start with me! I’m just as much a woman as you!” If there’s a single transwoman on earth who’s behaved in anything like this manner I’d be astonished. Why not try a scenario that’s likelier to occur? You could have a college student who’s recently started living as her gender, and who’s terrified of being misgendered. You could have the student tentatively say something in class that indicates that she’s female, and you could have other students, male or female, mock her. You could have the professor use her pre-transition name and pre-transition pronouns and refuse to change them. You could have her face violence from some shithead who was making a pass at her before he realized she was trans, and who has to beat her up to salvage his fragile masculinity. These are the kinds of experiences that I’ve heard about from trans women. Wearing a goatee and moustache and attacking the concept of mansplaining? Not so much. ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2019, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-jk-rowling-transphobic/845105/136 "2019-12-21T04:32:26Z")
Ignorant question perhaps but should those who identify as non- binary or fluid be under the trans umbrella? It seems to me that trans women and men are dealing with different existential issues than are those who identify as fluid. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2019, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-jk-rowling-transphobic/845105/137 "2019-12-21T05:11:09Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > I like you as a poster, too. If you genuinely need some direction on what more to read, I’ll try to point you in some directions, but I’m no expert; I’ve just been reading previous threads and listening to what our trans members (or trans ex-members, mostly, at this point) have said. > > In my experience, trans women don’t groom and dress themselves to accentuate cultural masculine features like goatees and moustaches. They don’t go out of their way to whine about mansplaining or take other MRA-style positions. And they really, really don’t introduce their gender by saying “Don’t start with me! I’m just as much a woman as you!” > > If there’s a single transwoman on earth who’s behaved in anything like this manner I’d be astonished. > > Why not try a scenario that’s likelier to occur? You could have a college student who’s recently started living as her gender, and who’s terrified of being misgendered. You could have the student tentatively say something in class that indicates that she’s female, and you could have other students, male or female, mock her. You could have the professor use her pre-transition name and pre-transition pronouns and refuse to change them. You could have her face violence from some shithead who was making a pass at her before he realized she was trans, and who has to beat her up to salvage his fragile masculinity. > > These are the kinds of experiences that I’ve heard about from trans women. Wearing a goatee and moustache and attacking the concept of mansplaining? Not so much. That’s fair. I could have presented a more likely scenario. But the rare scenarios are how axioms get tested and refined. The really interesting stuff always happens at the edges, not in the middle. I gave the poster who is working with me via PM some context that I didn’t provide in my earlier post. Apologies in advance for going back to race: There is no unified “black experience”. But at least among progressive circles, it is widely understood and appreciated that racial discrimination is an important part of the black experience. To wit, whenever I find myself in the presence of a lot of black folks (with no white folks present), the conversation almost always turns to discussions of racial wrong-ness and fuck-uppery. Being followed in stores. Being wrongfully pulled over on the highway. Being treated “less than” by bosses and coworkers. Being racially harrassed by rando white folks. Things we’ve heard other people talk about. Things we’ve experienced ourselves. Now, I’ve had my fair share of racial weirdness and microaggressions. But can I say I’ve been racially discriminated against? No. So usually in these discussions, I’m a listener rather than a talker. No one wants to hear how it gets on my nerves when my boss speaks jive talk around me. That just doesn’t compare to being called a “black bitch” in rush hour traffic. But let’s say one day I decide to be a “talker”. And I decide to say: “You know what? No racial shit like [whatever is being discussed] has ever happened to me. I’m starting to think y’all are exaggerating, no offense.” (I would never say this!! But I have heard individual black folks say something like this before. I’m related to some of them! So maybe that’s why my scenario doesn’t seem all that bizarre to me.) Now if I did say something like this, I know what would happen. The folks that I’m talking to would tell me to pump my brakes and check my privilege. They would point out that I don’t really look black–with my yellow complexion and ambiguous facial features. I could easily pass as “non-black”. They wouldn’t deny me my right to identify as black. But they would let me know that being black while looking “non-black” is a very different experience than being black while looking black. They would remind me that racial perception is more important than self-identification in the context of mistreatment. So perhaps you can see why the scenario I laid out in the sociology classroom isn’t THAT inconceivable for me. Perhaps there would never be a case like that, so apologies for all the creative license. But I can totally see how someone could (willfully or no) disregard the privilege of their perceived gender because doing otherwise would threaten their self-selected gender. We know that people can be willfully blind to race, abelist, and class privilege. However, in those arenas it is socially acceptable to point out the obvious. If my black friends were to say, “You probably don’t face racial harrassment because you don’t look black”, no one would call them hateful. The sentiment might be debatable, but it wouldn’t be condemned as racist. “Not looking black” is not a controversial thing to talk about. Both white and black folks know what “looking black” means. We also have some idea of what “not looking black” is. Now take this response to a male-presenting woman who downplays the existence of sexual harrassment to women: “You probably don’t face sexual harrassment because you look like a man.” Is that a transphobic, TERFy thing to say? As **BigT** said upthread, we could just call that person an asshole and not say anything about how they look or identify. But an ad hominom attack doesn’t help anyone learn. The racial analogue to this does not sound racist to my ear, so perhaps that is why it doesn’t sound inherently transphobic or TERFy to my ear. I can see how it could trigger hurt feelings in a sensitive person. But does that mean we should never “go there”? Perhaps a respectful, non-knee jerk answer to this question can help me figure out where the line between shit and non-shit is (which was the purpose of the scenario in the first place). The other questions I have are not as important. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2019, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-jk-rowling-transphobic/845105/138 "2019-12-21T05:57:27Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > Now take this response to a male-presenting woman who downplays the existence of sexual harrassment to women: “You probably don’t face sexual harrassment because you look like a man.” Is that a transphobic, TERFy thing to say? The interesting stuff may happen at the edges, but only at the realistic edges. This response (“you look like a man”) can happen in two scenarios: 1. It can be said to a woman–trans or cis–who looks so much like a man that literally nobody ever takes her for a woman. 2. It can be said with foolishness, hostility, or more likely both to a woman whose features aren’t stereotypically feminine. #1 is what I find profoundly unlikely, so unlikely that it can be safely dismissed as worth discussing. #2 is what’s likelier, and it’d be a bizarro wrong thing to say. No trans woman who gets misgendered as a man faces zero sexual harassment. That’s not the way the world works. If #1 somehow happened in the world, though, why would it necessarily happen to a transwoman? I think it’d be much likelier to happen to a cis woman who didn’t give a shit about projecting femininity. And if it did happen, it’d prove the larger point, that men tend not to sexually harass those people that they identify as male (or at least don’t do so to the degree or in the same way that they harass people they identify as female). ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2019, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-jk-rowling-transphobic/845105/139 "2019-12-21T06:12:33Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > IMO the sentiment “men cannot change into women” qualifies as transphobic, just as “two men cannot have a real marriage” is homophobic, or “a black woman and a white man can’t have a real marriage” is racist. It could just be ignorance. Changing gender seems…unlikely since it is not in our common experience. There is a reason Jurassic Park used the idea of the dinosaurs spontaneously switching gender as a plot device because most people would think such a thing is not possible and it was a surprise. There was an “oooh” factor when we get that revelation. That is not the same thing as a man marrying a man since marriage is a social construct and is whatever we choose to say it is. That said Rowling may well be aware it is possible and is just transphobic. I have no idea. I am merely suggesting it is not necessarily so. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2019, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-jk-rowling-transphobic/845105/140 "2019-12-21T06:41:05Z")
Sometimes I just cannot believe this place. Monstro put forth a scenario, and maybe it’s unlikely, but it’s not all that unlikely. Here is an actual, real world scenario, that happened. A man tried to sue a hospital for misgendering him. The lawsuit was quickly shut down as the hospital basically told him to go pound sand, although much more nicely than that. Because in order to collect damages you have to have damages, and he didn’t have any, other than hurt feelings. But honestly, when you’re in for a workup about whether you can have a hysterectomy now, or whether you should wait, because you just gave birth and you’re still breastfeeding and you plan on doing that for at least a few more months, and someone writing in your file refers to you as “her”? Come the fuck on. If this complainant could not see how that could be an honest mistake then I just don’t know. I am not transphobic, but I do have lines that I draw, and one of them is that men don’t give birth. If you just gave birth then medically, you are female. You didn’t just make medical history. Maybe you present as a man, maybe in your head you’re male, maybe you and your male partner are in a same-sex marriage, but you better hope your physicians have a good grounding on the female body because that’s what you have in this case. The other line is the whole “these are my pronouns” thing. “She,” “he,” “they”–these are third-person pronouns, used by people talking about you. Not to you. To demand that people use your name (or your preferred name, as they would undoubtedly say) when talking to you is one thing. It’s reasonable and polite to do so. It seems arrogant and fatuous to demand that people use certain words when they discuss you outside your presence, just as much as it would seem arrogant and probably useless to demand that they don’t talk about you at all. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-jk-rowling-transphobic/845105.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-jk-rowling-transphobic/845105.md?page=8)